


If I Only Had a Soul

by kippers



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy, everyone could use a demon wingman tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-12 18:32:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 99,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kippers/pseuds/kippers
Summary: Jeremy may have accidentally summoned a demon intent on fixing up his love life in exchange for his earthly soul, but hey, things could be weirder.





	1. Summon Me a Spine, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Currently dealing with pretty bad writer's block on my other story, so I thought I'd write something dumb and short to hopefully help work my way out it. Warnings for religious undertones and a bit of blood (people use their own blood to summon) and some other dark themes. You know, typical demon-type things.  
> Well, I hope you enjoy!

The conference room was hushed as Ryan, with one final flourish of chalk, finished the summoning circle.

The candles cast long shadows on his face as he stepped back from the circle, a small smile on his lips. Jeremy looked down at the circle, his nails digging into the sides of his chair as he leaned forward, amazed. It was easily far more impressive than anything he had ever seen on television or in books – the circles were flawless and smooth, and the runes drawn around it were complex and immaculate. He bit his lip and pulled out his phone, wondering if the flash from the camera would ruin the mood of the sacrilegious ceremony.

“The key to these circles is always precision,” Ryan announced, turning to address the seminar. “There is no room for error – the slightest break of chalk could lead to the demon’s escape, and such a thing could be disastrous, and most certainly lead to the summoner’s death.”

There was a small murmur from the watching crowd as people exchanged nervous whispers with each other. Jeremy felt a chill run down his back as well, and he reflexively reached to nervously grab at Matt’s sleeve. His friend had somehow fallen sound asleep next to him, a thin line of drool dribbling into his beard, and his hand half sticking out of a bag of Cheetos. Jeremy rolled his eyes and gave Matt a rough shove, causing him to give a snort, and readjust himself so that his head was resting on the person’s shoulder to his left. The stranger gave Matt a horrified look as he snored, and Jeremy sighed in defeat.

Ryan cleared his throat, and the attention in the room returned to him. “However, you have no need to worry here today,” he continued. “I am a professional, and I will let no harm come to any of you. Also, I would like to get paid.”

The tension bled out of the room as everyone laughed amiably. Jeremy grinned as well and released his death-grip on the arms of his chair.

“Next is the offering.” Ryan pulled out a thin dark knife, and held it out in front of him. “For lower class demons, blood usually does the trick, but higher-class ones usually like more specific items, such as gold, or even knowledge. It’s always best to do your research beforehand.”

There was a collective gasp from the watching crowd as Ryan swiped a quick line across his palm, drawing blood. He held his hand out, and Jeremy swore he could hear the small plops as blood dripped onto the center rune of the summoning circle.

“And lastly, the incantation.” Ryan’s smile widened as he pulled out a large, red book, and flipped it open. “If anyone here is faint of heart, I recommend you leave now.”

There was a scraping of chairs as several people got up and darted out of the room. Jeremy rolled his eyes. It figured that Ryan couldn’t help but play up the creep-factor. Still, it was definitely working, and Jeremy had half a mind to follow the people running out the door.

Ryan began to read, the strange language sounding almost guttural and backwards from his lips. Jeremy shivered as the lights above them flickered and the candles sent out a flare of fire. Ryan uttered one last sentence and slammed the book close. Then, with a vibrant flash, a red pillar of light erupted from the summoning circle, blinding him. Jeremy blinked, and suddenly a dark figure emerged from the floor, its dark claws scrabbling to find purchase. It was a crow demon – a long black beak lined with rows of gleaming white teeth, multiple red eyes that rolled around frantically, and an elongated, feathered body. The crowd gasped as it let out a shuttering screech, and flung itself against the barrier keeping it inside the circle. Jeremy recoiled as the demon slammed repeatedly against it, its wings flapping desperately.

“And thus, we have our demon,” Ryan announced. There was some hesitant clapping from the spectators, and Ryan gave a reassuring grin. “There’s no need to be afraid; it is quite snugly contained. Feel free to come take a closer look.”

Some of the crowd started to trickle forward, taking out their phones to snap pictures, pointing and starting to laugh as the demon’s efforts to escape became more frantic. Jeremy stayed rooted in place, clutching tightly at Matt’s arm, fear radiating through him. All his life, he had only seen demons on television, where he had the comfort of turning it off if he ever got too scared. But seeing one in person was a whole new level of terrifying, and if wasn’t for the fact that he had been looking forward to seeing Ryan, he would’ve easily left the room and never looked back.

He would’ve been perfectly content to spend his life without ever touching anything demonic. So, of course, he just had to fall in love with a man considered to be one of the greatest summoners of the modern age - life was shit like that.

“Around this time is where you could instigate a contract, if you so wish,” Ryan said, efficiently wrapping a bandage around his injury. “It is quite common for a summoner to employ a demon to work for them, in exchange for energy. However, I will never do such a thing.”

The crowd gained confidence as the demon fluttered uselessly around and began to laugh and jeer at it, some people even throwing balled up paper in its direction. The demon’s eyes were wide and its beak clacked loudly as it let out shrill caws. One of its eyes met Jeremy’s, and Jeremy jolted in his seat. It was strange, but he could’ve sworn it looked afraid, as if it were pleading with Jeremy to help it. Jeremy swallowed hard, pushing down his discomfort.

“Always treat them with caution, and a healthy amount of fear. It is essential to remember one thing about demons: they are all evil. They are only parasites – feeding off the warmth that they can never themselves possess.” As Ryan spoke, the laughter drained out of the room, and everyone seemed to take an involuntary step back as they sobered.

Suddenly, Ryan swiped forward with his foot, smudging the outer ring of the summoning circle. The barrier shuttered down, and the demon let out a thankful screech as it darted forward. But before it could get far, Ryan snatched it out of the air, his hand wrapped around its throat. The demon’s eye caught Jeremy’s eye again as it struggled in Ryan’s grasp, and Jeremy felt his heart lurch sickeningly.

“In the end, they only deserve elimination,” Ryan said, smiling softly. Then, with one swift motion, he snapped the demon’s neck, and it dissolved into black ash in his hands. There was a moment of silence before the seminar erupted into cheers and fervent applause, throwing praise Ryan’s way. He blushed and rubbed at his neck as they surrounded him. Jeremy sat in shock for a moment, before shaking away his sick feelings and clapping himself.

“C’mon, Matt, time to wake up,” he sighed, turning to his friend and shaking his shoulder.

Matt’s eyes flew open. “Bwuh? Did the demons eat our hearts?” he said blearily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Yup,” Jeremy said solemnly. “We also all took a field trip to hell and met the devil. He gave us sex tips and ice-cream.”

“Aw, man,” Matt groaned. “I missed demon ice-cream.”

“It was sprinkled with the ashes of the damned. Perfectly creamy.”

"Right." Matt rolled his eyes, then took out his phone and tapped at the screen. “Ah, man. Trevor sent us another picture. I can’t believe he’s having fun without us. That asshole.”

Jeremy leaned over to look at the snapchat, and grimaced. In the picture, Trevor had his arms around several priests, and they all held up their hands in peace signs. Trevor’s demon – a goat-lion hybrid – loomed in the background, looking about as confused as a something with the head of a goat could.

“Well, we can’t all be super powerful summoning masterminds,” Jeremy sighed. He made a horrifying face – one with as much double chin as he was able – so that Matt could snap a picture back.

“Anyway, let’s go say hi to Ryan,” Matt said, and Jeremy could hear the crack of his joints as he stood up. “I didn’t drag myself here and listen to you cry about this for weeks, just so you could lurk in the background and not say anything.”

“I was going to!” Jeremy protested, flushing. “And it wasn’t weeks. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Right, right,” Matt grumbled. He gave Jeremy a push, and Jeremy glared at him as he stumbled down towards the center of the room.

Ryan was still surrounded by his adoring fans, but as they approached, he met Jeremy’s gaze, and his face brightened.

“Ah, if you’ll excuse me,” Ryan said apologetically to the surrounding crowd. “I have some important business to take care of. If you have any more questions, I’d be happy to respond to them in my Q&A later today. Thank you.”

There was a collective groan, but the crowd acquiesced, and began to trickle out of the room. The door closed with a final shut behind them, leaving the three of them alone.

Jeremy’s heartbeat immediately picked up as Ryan made his way over to the two of them, running a hand shyly through his hair. He looked even frumpier than usual, somehow – a dark green sweater vest pulled haphazardly over a wrinkled button- down shirt with the sleeves half-way rolled up, and those awful dad glasses balanced precariously on his nose. Even so, Jeremy felt his heart swell, and he shuffled nervously.

Ah, he was so fucked.

“You made it,” Ryan said warmly. He pulled Jeremy into an awkward half-hug, and Jeremy’s hands hovered unsurely around his back. Jesus, his hands were sweaty. As they broke apart, he sent a frantic look Matt’s way, but his friend just returned it impassively, and moved so that he was standing in the way of the door.

 _Ass,_ Jeremy thought. He turned back to Ryan and fixed his face with what he hoped was a normal smile.

“You did such a great job,” he enthused. “I mean, everything went perfectly, and you didn’t even fuck up a single word! I was pretty impressed, honestly.”

“Ah, yeah,” Ryan chuckled, cheeks pink. “I practiced a bunch in front of the mirror, and did some tongue exercises and the like.” He stuck his tongue out and made a silly sound.

“Tongue exercises, huh,” Jeremy said dreamily. He felt a sharp pain in his side as Matt elbowed him, and he jolted out of his daydreaming. “Huh? What were we talking about again?” He blinked.

Ryan raised an amused eyebrow. “You were praising me.”

“Oh yeah! You were really great, Ryan. Did I already say that? Uh, totally gonna give you five stars on Yelp and all that.”

“It’s nice of you to support your local businesses.”

“No, but really,” Jeremy said, ducking his head nervously. “What you’re doing is pretty amazing. I always thought it was fucked up how little people know about summoning and stuff like that, so it’s good of you to tell people what’s up, you know?”

“Of course,” Ryan said, giving a serious nod. “People are afraid that the more they know, the more accidents will occur, but I believe that it is ignorance that leads to the most dire of mistakes.”

“Yeah, totally,” Jeremy agreed. “What you said. Nothing worse than idiots that have no idea what’s going on ever, right Matt?”

Matt gave him a dry look.

“Oh! Before I forget, I have something for the two of you,” Ryan said. He reached into his satchel and pulled out two cards. Jeremy squinted down at it curiously.

“An invitation?” he read aloud.

“Yup,” Ryan said, clearing his throat. “Ah, it’s a Halloween-type party thing. You don’t...um… have to come if you don’t want to. But, you know, it exists.”

“Didn’t peg you for the party throwing type,” Jeremy mused, turning the card over in his hand. It glittered softly.

“Well, I didn’t really have much say in it – it was Meg, mostly.”

“I see how it is,” Jeremy snorted. “She wanted to make use of the infamous Haywood mansion, eh?”

“Mansion is a strong word, but yes. Said it had gathered enough cobwebs and dust to look creepy without decoration, I guess.”

“Well, you can definitely count on the both of us to be there,” Matt said, slinging an arm around Jeremy’s shoulder. “Jeremy wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

That was definitely true, but Jeremy still gave a vitriolic glare to Matt, anyway.

“That’s good,” Ryan grinned. “Also, uh, I was maybe wondering if you wanted to go to lunch? It’s about time, and I – “

“Oh, shit, right!” Jeremy cut him off to look down at the time on his phone. “I need to eat before my shift starts, Christ. Thanks for reminding me, Ryan!” He sent the man a grateful look before grabbing Matt’s arm and yanking him towards the door. “I’ll see you later!”

“That’s not what I – ah…” Ryan’s voice trailed off as they bolted out the door and into the university’s grounds.

Outside, the air was chill and wind whistled softly, ripping dead leaves from crooked branches. Students bustled about, pulling thick jackets around them as they headed to their cars. Jeremy shivered and quickened his pace, nearly causing Matt to trip in his haste.

“What the hell was that?” Matt asked as Jeremy yanked him into the faculties office.

“What was what?” Jeremy said blankly. He pulled out his crushed lunch from his locker and sat down with a huff at one of the tables.

Matt gave a long sigh. “You know what? Nevermind. Just stay single and stupid forever, I don’t care.”

“Cheers to that, man,” Jeremy said, tipping his water bottle in Matt’s direction.

Matt buried his head in his hands. “Seriously, just ask the guy out already. It’s giving me a headache watching the two of you dance around each other, and that’s saying something.”

“If it were that easy, I would’ve done it already,” Jeremy grumbled, mouth full of squashed sandwich.

“It really is that easy,” Matt said. “It’s like, what, five words?”

“Yeah, that part’s easy. It’s the part afterwards where he crushes my heart and throws it in the trash that’s not.”

“Why do you think he’s gonna reject you anyway? You’re acting like a teenager.”

Jeremy put down his sandwich, appetite ruined.

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” Jeremy said irritably, drumming his fingers on the counter. “The guy’s like, ridiculously attractive and talented, and probably shits out hundred-dollar bills. And I’m the guy that’s, you know, cleaning up actual shit for a living. Not really a match made in heaven.”

“Well, tell that to Ryan, then. He’s head over heels for you.”

“Oh, look what we have over here!” Jeremy announced dramatically. “Matt, the fucking Love Guru. He knows all!”

“Fuck you. Don’t gotta be a love guru to see that nonsense,” Matt grumbled, sullenly propping his head up in his hands.

Jeremy’s irritation deflated out of him, and he let out a quiet sigh.

“Look, Matt, I’m sorry,” Jeremy said sheepishly. “It’s just complicated, alright?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Jeremy rubbed wearily at his eyes, and shoved the rest of his lunch into the trash. He looked over at Matt, who was pouting, his arms pulled around his chest.

“It’s just…” he trailed off, his arms dangling awkwardly at his sides as he struggled to find the words to make Matt understand. “It’s just complicated.”

“You know, you should have more confidence in yourself,” Matt said. “You’re a talented, funny guy. If Ryan can’t see that, then fuck him.”

Jeremy gave a soft snort and stood so he could ruffle his friend’s hair. “What’s with the ass-kissing? You need to borrow my Xbox again?”

“No!” Matt protested. “I’m just trying to be a good friend, asshole.”

“Well, you don’t need to tell me what I already know,” Jeremy said, puffing out his chest. Matt raised a hand to whack him on the shoulder, but Jeremy ducked out of the way, giggling.

“Don’t you have a job to go to?” Matt said crossly.

“Shit! You’re right,” Jeremy groaned. “I should probably get going, then.”

As he started to make his way over to the closet, where the custodial equipment was located, Matt grabbed his arm, stopping him. Jeremy blinked in surprise. Matt’s expression was strange suddenly, his eyes downcast as he bit his lip.

“There’s uh…one last thing,” he said, playing with a pink strand of his hair. “I doubt you’ve watched the news lately – ‘cause it’s you – but uh…there’s been a lot of shit going on around here lately. Like, super sick murders and stuff like that, all really close by.” He motioned up to the muted television in the corner of the break room, where a harried news reporter ducked around yellow police tape, multiple black body bags in the background surrounded on all sides by baffled police. “I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but make sure you like, pay attention to your surroundings, or something? And don’t chase after people with knives.”

“I feel like you’re taking that online quiz that said I’d be the first to die in a horror movie way too seriously,” Jeremy said, unimpressed.

“You totally would, though!” Matt exclaimed. Then, he sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. “Just promise me you’ll keep a headphone out, alright?”

“For you? Anything,” Jeremy said dramatically, placing a hand over his heart.

“Or just get stabbed. I don’t even know why I bother,” Matt mumbled. He gave a half-hearted wave as he shuffled out the door, tugging his scarf back around his neck. As soon as he left, Jeremy popped in both of his headphones.

If he was going to get gruesomely murdered, he sure as hell didn’t want to hear it.


	2. My Heart is True (just don't read the fine print)

It was around midnight, predictably, when everything went to shit.

Up until then, things had already been spiraling downwards. Jeremy had encountered the most horrifying mess he had ever seen in the men’s bathrooms, a mess which he took to calling the ‘literal shitstorm’. So, armed with a bucket of bleach and a will of iron, he had set about cleaning it all up. By the time he had finished, his mood had tanked, and it was already two hours past the end of his shift. Sighing, he trudged wearily towards the exit, already envisioning the hot shower awaiting him.

Just then, a loud slam echoed throughout out the hall, cutting sharply through the silence. Jeremy jumped a foot in the air, his heart stuttering to a stop as the lights above him flickered. He yanked his earphones out and whipped up his mop like a spear.

“Who’s there?” he barked out, the mop trembling violently in his grasp.

Silence answered him. Jeremy swallowed hard, and slowly lowered the mop. It was probably just his mind playing tricks on him after what Matt said, he reasoned, and willed his racing heart to slow.

But as he turned to resume his exit, another slam sounded behind him, and he swiveled around fast enough to see a door shut behind him.

“Stop right there!” Jeremy shouted, and scrambled towards it. Behind the window in the door, he could see the room was pitch black, and his hand hesitated over the doorknob as Matt’s warning echoed in his mind.

“If there’s anyone banging in there, I’m gonna give you five seconds to put your unmentionables away,” Jeremy called out, his voice as threatening as he could make it. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, and switched it on.

“Five…four…three-“

He was cut off as something rustled loudly behind the door, and Jeremy burst in the room, flashing the light from his phone. The room was completely empty. Jeremy’s adrenaline drained out of him, leaving him limp, and he let out a lingering sigh. The room’s lights flickered back to life, illuminating abandoned rows of desks and a blackboard smudged with chalk.

It was the room where Ryan gave his lecture earlier, Jeremy realized. As he stepped forward, something crunched softly underneath his sneaker, and he moved his foot to see it was a long, white feather, now slightly crumpled. Jeremy groaned and picked it up.

“Must’ve been a fucking pigeon,” he grumbled. “Figures.”

He pocketed the feather, but as he turned to leave, he noticed a strange orange light spilling across the floor, out from a door hidden in the back of the classroom. Jeremy bit his lip and crept towards it, his hands still curled protectively around his mop. With a whip of his hand, he snapped the door open, revealing a small, cluttered office, lit up by a crackling fireplace.

 _Well, that doesn’t seem particularly safe,_ Jeremy thought, putting his mop aside so he could scratch quizzically at his head. No one besides the custodians and security guards were allowed in the building this late, which meant that either someone had let this fire burn all this time after they had left, or that someone had lit it recently. He didn’t really like either option.

Jeremy gave a look around the small room, brows furrowed in thought. He had never even known there was a room like this back here, and he had worked in the university for a couple years already. The room seemed well used enough, with rows of threadbare, creased books lining the bookshelves in the back, pictures of smiling people hanging haphazardly on the walls, and a large wood desk with various bits and pieces of clutter spread all over it.

Jeremy leaned closer to one of the pictures, and in the dim firelight that lit the room, made out a very familiar face smiling in the middle, his arms thrown around two other people. It was Ryan, Jeremy realized with a shock. Did that make this strange room his office, then? What the hell was it doing shoved back over here?

As he took a step back to survey the room, he stumbled over something on the floor, sending him wheeling backward. He held out a hand reflexively to catch himself, but instead caught the corner of the desk, which jammed straight into the palm of his hand. He let out a loud yelp as pain stabbed up his arm.

“Fuck!” he barked out, cradling his hurt hand, as it steadily dripped blood to the floor. “Shit, balls, asshole, fucking dick on everything!”

He looked down to see that what had he tripped on was, oddly enough, a pile of junk food and candy with brand names he had never heard of before. Of course Ryan would have fucking sweets everywhere. As he leaned forward, a drop of his blood fell with a splatter on top of it, and he cringed. Next to the pile of sweets was a white sheet of paper, crinkled slightly, with words scrawled across it in nearly illegible handwriting.

Jeremy couldn't help the small snort that escaped him- it was just like Ryan to have a note written in fucking Latin of all things - he was a nerd like that. But Ryan was the only person Jeremy knew that could actually make the dead language sound natural when he read it aloud. With that thought, a pang shot through Jeremy's chest, and he bent down to pick the scrap of paper up, taking care not to smudge it with blood. He tilted his head thoughtfully, wondering if he could ever make the words sound as beautiful and effortless as Ryan did. He squinted closely at the sentence, parsing it out carefully in his head, before he found himself almost mindlessly saying the words aloud. 

“Hue propere ... admove amissi amore- that means love, right?-ad se de profundis in ....uh....maledictione reputabitur,” Jeremy read aloud, his tongue twisting around the unfamiliar language. He couldn't help but feel like an absolute idiot, his hand still bleeding steadily as he randomly read out fucking latin of all things for some dumbass reason. “What the hell could that even-”

Suddenly, everything went red.

Jeremy was blasted backward as a pulse of energy erupted from the center of the room, flinging him to the floor. In front of him, a white circle lit up on the wooden floor, tracing runes as he watched in horror.

He frantically rubbed at his eyes, and his vision quickly adjusted as the vibrant red faded from the room. Looming in front of him, was a tall, thin human-like figure, floating several feet above the floor. At first glance, the figure looked like a regular man: shaggy hair that stood up in all directions, clothed in a wrinkled T-shirt and shorts, holding a teacup, and a rather bewildered expression fixed on its face. But the more Jeremy stared, the more he noticed how untrue this was. Curling out of the man’s hair were two thick horns, and a dark tail whipped around from its back. But what was most unsettling was the creature’s eyes – completely black, except for two bright green orbs that flicked back and forth as it took in its surroundings.

“What’s all this?” the demon said, blinking rapidly. “Where am I?”

Jeremy’s heart jumped as those unsettling eyes focused on him, and the demon’s tail whipped around faster as it leaned in closer to him, eying him up and down.

“Did Geoff put you to this?” he asked. When Jeremy didn’t reply, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, the demon sighed impatiently, and turned to look around him. “Geoff? Are you having a laugh?” he called out.

“You,” Jeremy choked out. “You’re a…a…”

“Wait a tick,” the demon cut in. He looked down at the still burning summoning circle beneath him, then back up at Jeremy. “Did you… summon me? Is that what’s going on here?”

“I didn’t…I couldn’t have!” Jeremy burst out, hands waving frantically. “It was an accident; I don’t even have the power to do something like that.”

“Oh my god, _oh my god_ ,” the demon breathed. An ecstatic grin grew on its face, and it put its hands over its mouth. “I’ve been summoned, holy crap!”

 The demon surged forward, rushing in a snap of movement so quickly that Jeremy’s entire body froze up in fear, and pressed itself up against the protective barrier, its face squishing up against it like how a child would put their face up against glass.

“You’re the one that summoned me, right? Oh my god, I cannot _believe_ this! This my first time ever being summoned, you know, so this is kind of a big deal,” the demon enthused, its words stumbling over each other in its excitement.

“I didn’t do anything,” Jeremy insisted. “I’m telling you, this was all an-”

“Oh my god, I’ve been summoned,” the demon said, and horror dawned on its face as it leaned back, eyes wide. “What am I even supposed to do? I should’ve listened to Geoff before, _oh no_ , I don’t even know what to _do_.” It fumbled around in its pockets and yanked out a crumpled pamphlet, sending its teacup crashing to the ground, where it broke into shards, spraying steaming liquid everywhere.

“Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me,” the demon hissed. He sent Jeremy an apologetic look. “I’m really sorry about this. Have you got a bin or something that I can slop it in?” Jeremy blinked. “No, wait, nevermind, I have something I can fix it with.” The demon reached into its other pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, and dropped it unceremoniously over the mess. “There! All good now, yeah?” it beamed.

The demon unfolded the pamphlet and began to furiously read, its face scrunched up in concentration. The front of the pamphlet read ‘ _So You’ve Been Summoned? An Idiot’s Guide to Getting Souls’_ in an awful colorful font, with a picture of a tattooed, straight-horned devil winking underneath it.

Jeremy gulped and scrambled backwards, holding out his phone out threateningly. “Look, demon, I don’t want anything to do with you. I’ll have you know that I have the pope on speed-dial, so you’ll get smited - smote? - uh, you’ll get fucked if you try anything.”

The demon looked up from his pamphlet to flash an excited smile. “The pope? Really? I’ve always wanted to meet that guy – he seems like an alright chap. Bit strange he wears a hat like that though, innit? Maybe he’s got like, a really weird shaped head or something hidden underneath. D’ya figure that’s how they really pick the pope, then? They just look for an old dude with a weird shaped head and slap a hat on him and maybe douse him in a bucket of holy water and then they get a pope?”

Jeremy balked at the demon, and slowly lowered his phone. “What?” he said, completely thrown off.

“Also, my name isn’t demon. It’s Gavin.”

“Okay, look, Gavin – great name for a demon by the way -” Jeremy shook his head slowly. “This whole summoning thing was an accident, so you can just go back to where you came from, okay?”

Gavin frowned, crossing his arms. “Well, I can’t up and leave, can I? You’re the one who brought me here, and you’re the one who’s gotta toss me out. And how do you even accidentally do a summoning, anyway? You’d got to accidentally draw the circle, accidentally give me my preferred offering – these are my favorite, by the way – and accidentally spill your blood and then say the incantation. How’d that even be possible?”

“Look, there are a number of very explainable circumstances that led up to this happening,” Jeremy said, flushing a bit.

“Right. Well, anyway, I’m stuck here until you make a move, so I’m just gonna go ahead and continue with my schtick.” Gavin took out his pamphlet again and squinted at it.

“I don’t even know how to make you leave, though! I never learned that part because I never had to because I’m not a damn summoner, Christ,” Jeremy groaned, dragging his hands down his face.

“Why do you want me gone so bad anyway? We could have so much fun together, the two of us,” Gavin said, his face pulling down into a pout.

“You don’t understand – if someone without a license summons a demon, they’ll be carted off for the rest of their life. If I get caught, I’ll be completely fucked,” Jeremy explained, running his hands over his head as he began to pace. “The government is super fucking strict about that sort of thing, you know.”

“Carted off where?” Gavin asked, blinking innocently.

“Jail. It’s uh… like hell, I guess, except the human form of it.”

“Sounds like fun,” Gavin chirped. “We should go!”

“Yeah, no, that’s not a great idea.”

“Why don’t you just break the circle, then? I’ll find my way back to hell, promise.” Gavin flashed an innocent smile.

“Oh, wow, there’s a great idea,” Jeremy said, rolling his eyes. “Let an uncontracted demon loose on the world so that the Hunters can come grind us into dust - perfect.”

Gavin’s brow furrowed. “Hunters?” he questioned.

Jeremy gave a quick, nervous glance behind him. “Yeah, you know, the super specialized army dudes that go after demons? The ones you call in when everything’s gone to shit - people that demons probably don’t want to mess with.”

“Well, I’ve never heard of them,” Gavin said, crossing his arms impetuously. “Sound like a bunch of plebs, honestly.”

“Yeah, you say that until you’ve got a cross lodged down your throat,” Jeremy muttered. Then, he shook himself. He needed to focus on figuring out how to get rid of the literal demon still floating in front of him, and fast. He was already running way past his shift, and he knew that his replacement would come looking for him very soon. Not to mention, security guards regularly patrolled the area, making his situation more than a bit dire.

As much as he could remember from what Trevor told him, each demon had a specific send off incantation, just as they did for summoning. But there was nothing else written on the paper he had read from earlier, leaving him completely stumped on how to continue. He decided to search around the room, hoping he’d find some sort of clue lying around somewhere.

“Wait, seriously?” Gavin burst out suddenly, making Jeremy jump. “This is just a guide on how to suck your own dick! Really, Geoff?” The demon threw his pamphlet behind him with a huff, and it disintegrated with a flash of fire.

Jeremy ignored him, frantically pulling book after book on the shelves, desperately looking for anything that could help him in this situation. Still, nothing stood out to him, and he wasn’t even sure what he should be looking for in the first place.

“What’s your name, by the way?” Gavin asked. Jeremy turned to see him floating in a lounging position, his arms behind his head, and those unsettling eyes watching his every move.

“Jeremy,” he said offhandedly, as he shook a book out.

“Jeremy,” Gavin hummed. “That’s a nice name.”

Jeremy froze, a chill running down his back. He wasn’t sure why, but as he stared at Gavin’s pleased smile, he was suddenly very sure he had made a mistake.

“Well, Jeremy, there is another way to get rid of me here, one that will benefit the both of us,” Gavin said. He floated towards the barrier and lightly placed his hands on it, his tail whipping around excitedly behind him.

“What do you mean?” Jeremy said cautiously.

“A contract, of course! One between you and me,” Gavin enthused. “I’ve always wanted to do one of those.”

“Yeah, but don’t demons usually have something to offer?” Jeremy said, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t particularly look like you can give your strength, or knowledge, or really anything at all, no offense.”

“None taken,” Gavin said, looking extremely offended. Then, he straightened. “But that’s because my specialization isn’t something that can be seen by your dull human eyes. I, my dear Jeremy, am a love demon.”

Small, red balls of fire erupted behind him and arranged themselves in the shape of a shimmering heart. Gavin struck a rather silly pose, his tongue stuck out and his hands held up in peace signs as he emitted the most obnoxious squeaking noise Jeremy had ever heard.

Jeremy blinked at him, then silently returned to looking through the bookshelves.

“Jeremy! I’m being serious, Jeremy,” Gavin protested. “I’ll have you know that I have a 100% success rate.”

“Isn’t this your first time being summoned?”

Gavin coughed awkwardly. “That’s not important. What is important is that I can help you get what your heart most desires.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I’ll pass.”

“You’re in love with someone, aren’t you?” Gavin said.

Jeremy stiffened, his hands freezing on the book’s pages.

“But it’s not going very well, is it?” Gavin continued, his voice entrancing and low. “They’ve been there for you, time and time and again, but you’ve never been there for them in the same way. You’re afraid they find you a burden, that they resent your presence. You’re afraid that they’ll find out, and leave you alone. You’ve never even considered the possibility that they might feel the same, ‘cause for you, you think it has to be impossible.”

“How the hell do you-“ Jeremy shot out, then caught himself, flushing. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“Oh, am I wrong?” Gavin said, scratching his chin. “I thought I was on to something there, sorry. My love ‘o meter must be broken.” He gave himself a punch in the chest and hacked out a cough.

“Look, I don’t need your help with my love life, or whatever the fuck you’re trying to sell here. I just need you to get out of this damn room.”

“Alright, I’ll give it a shot,” Gavin said, eyebrows threading together in determination. He mimed rolling his sleeves up and slammed himself against the barrier. There was a noise of impact, and Gavin floated slowly back to the ground, where he collapsed dramatically.

 “It didn’t work. Guess you’ve gotta make a contract, now.”

Jeremy put a hand to his forehead, where a massive headache was forming. It was ridiculous, but he was actually seeing some sense to what Gavin was saying. It wasn’t as if forming a contract with a demon was something entirely out of the ordinary; Trevor had made more contracts alone than he could count on both of his hands. But Trevor had also received extensive training on how to deal with demons, training that Jeremy did not have the pleasure of receiving. Still, as he looked up at Gavin, who was idly floating around in circles chasing after his own tail, he couldn’t help but feel that he didn’t have too much to worry about if he did end up making a contact with him.

Jeremy let out a long sigh and pulled out his phone, wondering if Trevor was awake at whatever time it was in Italy. But, as he switched it on, he froze. His phone was lit up with tons of missed calls and texts from Larry, the person who was taking the shift after him. He quickly scrolled through them, eyes widening as they became more and more frantic, finally ending with Larry saying that he had called the police to help find him. There was also a text from Lindsay detailing exactly what an echidna penis looked like, but he immediately blocked that out of his mind, as he did with most things involving Lindsay.

“Yeah, yup, we’re completely fucked,” Jeremy said, running his hands down his face.

“You’re not leaving me, are you?” Gavin asked, a note of desperation in his voice as Jeremy began to dart around, shoving things back to where they were supposed to be.

“No, I’m not,” Jeremy said. He placed a book back on shelves and took a deep, steadying breath, turning to face the demon. “Gavin, I wanna make that contract with you.”

There was a moment of silence as they stared at each other, the words hanging heavy in the air. Jeremy could feel his heart pounding loudly in his chest. A small bead of sweat ran down his face. Gavin looked oddly serious suddenly, those bright eyes focused solely on him.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.

Jeremy swallowed. “I-I’m sure,” he got out.

Gavin gave a squeak of excitement and the strange mood around them broke as he spiraled upwards, whacking his head on the roof of the barrier.

“This is gonna be so great!” he said, punching the air in his exhilaration. “My first contract! Geoff can suck it.”

“Okay, yeah, can we hurry this up a bit already?” Jeremy said, opening the door and peering out nervously. “They could be here at any minute.”

“Oh, right, sorry!” Gavin reached into his pockets, displacing a pile of wrappers and a tangled bunch of cords. He pulled out a crumpled ball of paper, and shook it out, wincing. “It’s a bit…old, but should be just fine! Just need your signature and a bit of your human juice, that’s all.”

“Human juice, huh,” Jeremy sighed. He reached through the barrier and snatched the contract away, unraveling it. There was a surprising amount of writing on it, the lettering small and almost indistinguishable. Jeremy squinted at it for a few seconds, before shrugging and reaching for a pen. As he scribbled out his name, Gavin clapped his hands together.

“Ooh, all direct and fast with no time for regret – I like your style, Jeremy!” he cooed.

Jeremy ignored him and held out his still bloodied palm. His hand trembled a bit as he slowly pressed it to the paper, smearing red across his name.

Gavin gave a sharp hiss, and Jeremy looked up to see a shudder pass through him, his eyelids fluttering rapidly.

“Oh, Jeremy,” he sighed. “This is perfect. _You’re_ perfect.”

Jeremy shifted uncomfortably, a bit put off from the pleased expression on the demon’s face. He shook himself and stepped forward, swiping his shoe through the chalk to break the barrier.

“Uh, that’s nice and all, but we really need to get the fuck out of here,” he said quickly.

There was a flash of fire, and the contract disappeared out of his grasp. As he gaped down at his empty hand, Gavin gave a shout and barreled forward into his arms, nearly knocking him to the ground.

“We’re together now, Jeremy!” he cried, swinging Jeremy around like a windmill. “This is gonna be so exciting!”

“Uh-huh. Well, let’s be together outside of this room.”

Jeremy marched determinately forward, tugging Gavin behind him like some sort of wriggly balloon. Gavin kicked his legs in the air, nearly vibrating with enthusiasm.

“Jeremy, can we go see a ferris wheel? I’ve always wanted to ride one of those. And, oh! A toaster! I’ve always dreamed of seeing a toaster.”

“You’ve…dreamed of seeing a toaster? Demons have tea, but no toasters?” Jeremy asked dryly.

“Of course not, Jeremy,” Gavin said. “Don’t be silly, now.”

“Right,” Jeremy muttered.

They were halfway across the room when a sudden shout rang out.

“Hello? Anyone in here?”

Jeremy immediately froze, his eyes going wide. He tugged Gavin down to his level.

“Shit! Gavin, you need to hide, quick,” he whispered urgently, whipping around to look for somewhere to stuff the demon.

“Oh, I can do much better than that,” Gavin said, his eyes glittering with mischief. There was a small pop, and the demon was gone, replaced by something large and black and white. Jeremy’s jaw dropped.

 _So, what do you think?_ Gavin’s voice echoed smugly in his head.

“You turned into a damn panda bear? Are you fucking serious?” Jeremy hissed, dragging a hand down his face. Gavin, now a large panda bear, blinked innocently up at him with dark eyes.

_Humans love Pandas! I saw a human documentary on them, and-_

“Pandas aren’t animals that just sit around in universities, what the fuck! Turn into something small and normal, like literally anything else!”

“Jeremy, is that you?” that voice called out again, sounding closer. There was the sound of footsteps outside the door.

“Gavin, now!”

 _Fine then, be boring,_ Gavin sighed. There was another pop of energy, and then there was a sleek, black cat sitting in Jeremy’s arms. Suddenly, the door slammed open, and Lindsay burst her way in, flanked by a security guard and a bored policeman. Her eyes widened as she took him in, and relief flooded her face.

“Oh, holy shit Jeremy! You’re okay,” she said. “Thank God.”

“Lindsay?” Jeremy exclaimed. “What the hell-heck, I mean, sorry officer- are you doing here?”

The security man grumbled and turned to mutter something in his walky-talky, while the policeman rolled his eyes and pulled out a notebook.

“Oh, me?” she said, running a sheepish hand through her messy hair. “Larry called Michael and me, said he couldn’t find you anywhere and wanted to know if you were having a threesome with us. You weren’t, sadly, and we were already awake, so we thought we’d join in the manhunt, ya know? Michael was convinced you were passed out at your favorite bar, so he headed over there.”

“O-oh,” Jeremy said, a lump forming in his throat. “Well, I’m fine, yeah? No need to get all up in arms about everything.”

“Well, the moment we don’t get up and arms about everything is the moment you’ll end up dead,” Lindsay said sagely.

“There’s been a murder about a block from here,” the policeman cut in. “Body was mutilated beyond recognition. Friends thought it might be you, but I guess it wasn’t.”

Jeremy put a hand over his mouth, horror and guilt flooding him. “Holy shit,” he breathed.

“You see anything out of the ordinary tonight, Mr. Dooley?” the policeman continued, tapping his pen on his notebook.

Jeremy’s arms tightened around Gavin. “Nothing, sir. Sorry.”

The policeman sighed heavily. “Alright, then. Go straight home tonight, okay? You, please escort them out,” he said, monitoring towards the security guard. “I have some more calls to make.”

The policeman quickly exited the room in a huff, leaving the three of them alone. The security guard inclined his head to the door, and Lindsay and Jeremy started towards it, falling in pace with each other.

“Sorry I didn’t text you guys or anything,” Jeremy said, wringing out his hands. “I completely lost track of the time.”

“Eh, it’s okay. No harm done,” Lindsay said lightly. Then, her eyebrows knitted together as she stared at Jeremy’s chest, and she leaned in closer. “Wait a second…are you holding a cat?”

Jeremy gulped. “Kinda?”

“Oh my god you are!” Lindsay squealed. She scooped Gavin out of his arms and held him up to the light. “I can’t believe I didn’t even notice them, I must be so out of it, jeez.”

“I…uh, wouldn’t touch that if I were you,” Jeremy winced. “He has all sorts of nasty stuff, like fleas, and feline herpes and stuff like that.”

“Hmm, still worth it,” Lindsay exclaimed, and buried her face in the cat’s fur. Jeremy let out a groan and rubbed wearily at his temples.

 _Haha, this tickles!_ Gavin giggled.

“Where did you come from, little guy?” Lindsay cooed. “You’re such a pretty kitty, yes you are!”

Jeremy sent an embarrassed glance at the security guard, but he was still stony-faced and silent as he trudged through the empty school halls.

 _She thinks I’m pretty!_ Gavin said. _I like her – is she the one you’re in love with?_

“Okay, that’s enough,” Jeremy snapped, striding forward to snatch the cat out of Lindsay’s grasp.

“Hey!” Lindsay protested, her arms reaching back after him. When Jeremy ducked out of her way, her lips pursed. “What, are you thinking of keeping this cat to yourself, or something?”

“Are you kidding?” Jeremy scoffed. “I’m dumping him in the nearest shelter as soon as I have a chance.”

 _That’s not very nice,_ Gavin sniffed. His big green eyes blinked pathetically up at him. Jeremy resisted the urge to scratch his admittedly very cute cat head.

“Are you sure?” Lindsay asked. “I think it’d do you good to have a kitty in your life. Michael always worries about you being alone in that dingy apartment of yours.”

“He doesn’t need to,” Jeremy grumbled. “’M fine.”

“Well, I guess you won’t be alone for long,” Lindsay mused, stroking her chin thoughtfully. “Speaking of which, where is Rye-bread, anyway?”

Jeremy blinked rapidly, trying to put sense to Lindsay’s usual nonsense.

“What? Why would you even-?” Jeremy put a hand to his forehead, where his headache was still growing. “You do realize it’s the middle of the night, right? Why would he even be here?”

“’Cause he’s always there when you’re in trouble,” Lindsay said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

 _Who is this ‘Rye-bread’? He sounds delicious!_ Gavin commented, his small tongue darting out.

“That’s not even remotely true, Linds.”

“It totally is! The way me and Michael see it-” she said conversationally, turning to the security guard. “-is that he’s got like a Jeremy Danger Sonar in his dick, and every time it perks up he’ll be all like ‘Lassie?! Jeremy’s stuck in a well?’ and then it’ll point in a direction and he’ll come running after you.”

Jeremy put his red face in his hands. “Lindsay, from the bottom of my heart, what the hell is wrong with you, seriously.”

_Do all humans have sonar dicks? Interesting! What does yours point at, Jeremy?_

Jeremy flattened the cat’s ears against its head and leaned towards Lindsay. “Look, it isn’t that he’s always there when I’m in trouble, it’s that I’m always in trouble, and he happens to be there sometimes.”

“Hmm. I guess it is true that your luck is abysmal. Still, I like my idea better,” Lindsay huffed, crossing her arms.

Thankfully, they finally reached outside, and Jeremy nearly buckled in relief as he saw his car in the parking lot.

“Well, this has been great and all, but I should really get going,” Jeremy said, edging towards his car. “Big day tomorrow, ya know? Tell Michael and Larry that I’m sorry for wasting their time.” He gave a nod to the security guard and all but ran off, already yanking his keys from his pocket.

“We still on for kart tomorrow?” Lindsay called after him.

“Yeah, sure,” Jeremy yelled back distractedly.

He got inside his car and quickly slammed the door shut behind him, tossing Gavin to the passenger seat before jamming his key in the ignition. As he sped out of the parking lot, there was another pop of energy, and Gavin sat primly in his demon form next to him. His head darted around like a bird as he took in everything around him.

“Is this what the belly of a human car is like?” he questioned. “It’s a bit more cramped than I imagined.”

He began to fiddle with buttons and let a noise of excitement as the window rolled down. Jeremy sighed and leaned over, pressing Gavin’s arms to his side and snapping the seatbelt over him.

“Please don’t touch anything.”

Gavin pouted, and resigned himself to wiggling excitedly in place.

“So where are we going first, Jeremy?” he asked. “The carnival? A movie theater? Ooh! How about a volcano?”

“I’m going home. And you’re going back to hell,” Jeremy said slowly. “I only made that contract to get you out of there. So you can take however much of my energy you need and leave, I don’t care.”

Gavin laughed. “Silly Jeremy. Didn’t you read the contract? It doesn’t work like that.”

A chill ran down Jeremy’s back, and he slowly turned to see Gavin watching him carefully. The passing streetlights intermittently illuminated the side of his face, revealing the edge of an eerie smile.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, as stated on line seventy-two, paragraph twelve, I will only leave your side once the contract is completed. So, until I find you what your heart most desires, we will be quite stuck together.”

Jeremy’s jaw dropped. “You’re joking…right?”

Gavin’s eyes glinted in the dark.

“Let’s have fun together, yeah?”


	3. Things Can't Get Worse (except that they do, frequently)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I am alive (probably). Life's been more than a bit ridiculous these past months, but I've finally found time to write again, which is nice. Admittedly, this fic is so dumb it probably shouldn't be continued. But also, maybe it's so dumb it has to be continued? Well, either way, here I am lmao. Please enjoy?

Jeremy was shaken out of an uneasy sleep to the feeling of his bed dipping next to him.

“Matt? Izzat you?” he mumbled blearily. “Did your AC break again?”

“Who’s Matt? Is he the one you’re in love with?”

Jeremy shot forward, his eyes flying open in shock. Lying next to him, his head propped up in his arms and his eyes glimmering in excitement, was Gavin, the demon that he had somehow shackled himself to. He let out a long, lingering groan and flopped back down.

“Ah, fuck me,” he grumbled. “It wasn’t a dream.”

“Good morning, dear Jeremy!” Gavin sing-songed, floating up into the air. “I spent all night watching your human television, and I took notes on what they thought about love.” He pulled out a small notebook from his pocket and flipped it open. “Things humans find important in love: playing hard to get, Chef Gordon Ramsay, extensive knowledge of puppies, having a large–”

“Okay, look,” Jeremy said, cutting him off. “If you’re seriously going to be living with me until I…you know, we have to lay some ground rules here.”

“Of course, Jeremy! You call the shots.”

“One: stay out of my room. Two: Don’t touch anything without asking me first. Three: no demon nonsense. And four: especially don’t touch me.” He motioned down to Gavin’s tail, which was currently snugly wrapped around his bicep.

“Oops!” Gavin laughed innocently and untangled it. “I didn’t even notice, sorry!”

Jeremy stared wide-eyed at the imprint the demon’s tail left behind and felt his stomach lurch. Ryan had said before that demons were parasites- was that what Gavin was doing, then? Sucking his energy away?

“If you…complete this contract,” Jeremy said, slowly rubbing at the imprint. “How much of my lifeforce will you take? How many years?”

Gavin tilted his head in confusion. “What do you mean? I’m not taking anything like that. At the moment this contract completes, Jeremy, I’ll get your soul.”

“Oh. I see.” Jeremy said blankly. “And…uh…what will you do with it? Eat it?”

“Eat it?” Gavin scoffed. “What an absolute waste that would be! No, my plans for your soul are much more exciting than that.” His eyes narrowed as he grinned at him, and Jeremy gulped, reflexively pulling his sheets up to his neck.

“So, uh, ignoring that, let me get this straight, here. If you set me up with someone, or whatever, you get my soul and the contract completes. If you don’t, then we’ll be stuck together for the rest of my life, or up until the inevitable moment I get caught by the Hunters and killed?”

“For the most part, yes!” Gavin exclaimed happily. “Aren’t you a lucky boy – either way, you get a life filled with love.”

Jeremy put a shaky hand to his head and took a deep breath. God, it was way too early for this.

“Gavin, why don’t you go…uh…make some toast or something? I have a call to make.”

Gavin’s eyes went wide. “You would trust me with something like that?”

“Sure? Go knock yourself out, bud.”

Gavin gave a squeak of excitement and barreled towards the kitchen. Jeremy sighed in relief and pulled his phone off from its charger and quickly punched in a number. After four nerve-wracking rings, the call went through.

“ _Ciao!_ ” Trevor’s voice crackled noisily through the phone’s speaker. “Why, if it isn’t my beautiful acquaintance Jeremy blessing me with his presence. _Che meraviglia_!”

“Okay, Trevor, I don’t have time for this right now-”

“No time for this? No time for me?” Trevor’s voice rose in mock offense. “Then why even call me at all, _mio dolce piccolo bambino?_ ”

“Okay, I get it, you’re in Italy,” Jeremy sighed. “Look, Trevor, I don’t really know how else to say this, but I fucked up last night and now there is a demon making toast in my kitchen.”

There was a moment of silence from Trevor, and Jeremy could hear some clatter of background noise: warm laughter from others, the clinking of glasses, and some friendly sounding Italian music.

Then, Trevor laughed abruptly. “Oh, I see what you mean! Lindsay told me this morning that you got a cat – are they already causing you trouble?”

For a minute Jeremy just gaped, dumbfounded, at his phone. “What? Trevor, no, I mean this seriously. Like there is a literal demon in my apartment and it is trying to steal my soul.”

“Aww, Jeremy!” Trevor sniffed. “I’m so glad you like the cat so much already! You should just let it happen – I swear you won’t get hurt if you let yourself love it.”

“Trevor, you fucking dumbass, listen to me. There is no damn cat. It’s a demon, a d-e-m-o-n, and I need your he-”

“Oops, you’re breaking up on me!” Trevor laughed. The sounds of chatter on his end got noisier. “Oh! Father Benjamin and his holy boys want to take me to see the clubs, so I should really get going, now. It’s been nice hearing your beautiful voice again!”

“Don’t you dare hang up on-”

“ _Addio per ora!_ And remember, no matter what, don’t give the cat your name, yeah?”

There was a click, and the line went dead, leaving Jeremy balking silently at his phone. “Don’t give the cat…what? What the hell, Trevor?”

“Jeremy!” Gavin called from the kitchen. “Your toast is ready!”

Jeremy heaved out a sigh before pulling on a pair of jeans and making his way out to the kitchen. Immediately, the acrid smell of burnt food hit him and black smoke blurred his vision. Gavin was in the middle of it all, his tongue stuck out in concentration as he poured out a pile of blackened crumbs from the smoking toaster.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jeremy sighed and turned to open up a couple of windows. Then, he stomped over to Gavin and snatched the toaster out of the demon’s hands.

"Ta-da!" Gavin exclaimed. He presented the plate to Jeremy, where he had arranged the crumbs in the shape of a heart. "What do you think?"

"Well, A on presentation, but F on everything else, what the fuck."

Gavin's face fell. "Oh. Is it not good?"

"Maybe I should stick to cooking," Jeremy said and dumped the ashes in the trash.

Gavin pouted a bit as Jeremy got out the orange juice, but quickly recovered, and began to float in excited somersaults in the air.

“So, uh, I have some questions about you, I guess,” Jeremy ventured nervously.

Gavin immediately brightened and swooped in close. “Yes! Ask me anything you want! I’ve always wanted a human companion to ask questions about me- like a human sleepover!”

Jeremy bit back his shudder as he took a solid step back from the demon. “Um, first things first: do you eat? Like do I have to reap human souls for you or whatever?”

Gavin tilted his head. “Well, I suppose you can if you want to, but you don’t have to. Don’t worry about feeding me, Jeremy. I’ll take care of myself like a good little doggy.”

Jeremy sighed heavily. “Right. Alright, then, second question. Do you have to be around me? Like can I just dump you in a hole somewhere and forget you exist?”

“Aww, Jeremy, why’d you do that?” Gavin pouted, his voice rising obnoxiously in pitch. “I’d just come right back to you, of course! There isn’t a thing in this world that could keep me from you. We’re attached together, you know. Can’t have a you without me!”

“Huh. Sounds great,” Jeremy deadpanned. “Well, moving on from that incredibly terrifying statement, do you have to look like, you know, a fucking monster? Can’t you just look normal? It’d make my life easier.”

“I could, but I’d need a bit more power for that sort of thing. Turning into an animal, easy peasy for a weak little faff like me, but that’s about all I can do.”

“Shit,” Jeremy muttered. How the hell was he supposed to tote Gavin around with him all the time, even as a cat?

“Alright, then, my turn!” Gavin chirped. He pulled out his tiny notebook and flipped it open. “When you take a piss, does your human p-”

“Nope. Hard pass. Next question.”

“But, Jeremy, this is important! By answering, you could benefit all of demon-kind with this research. It’s science, Jeremy? Doesn’t that matter to you?” Gavin clenched his hands into fists and waved them above his head importantly.

“Nope. Literally all of existence could rely on my answer to that question and I still wouldn’t answer it.”

“Okay, then, what about this one? When you munk one off, does your p-”

Jeremy slammed his hand on the table. “Are literally all of your questions about my dick?”

Gavin thoughtfully scanned his notebook. “Yes.”

Jeremy put his head in his hands. “You’re going to kill me.”

“Well, last question.” He swooped in close, inclined his head close to Jeremy’s neck, and took a deep breath.

“Did you just fucking sniff me?” Jeremy burst out, ducking frantically out of the way. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Have you had a toss in a church recently?” Gavin asked, flipping upside-down and tapping his chin thoughtfully.

“Have I…what?”

Gavin wrinkled his nose. “You smell all holy. Like a priest dipped his balls in a tub of holy water and slapped your face with it.”

“Well, fuck,” Jeremy said, lifting his shirt collar so he could sniff it. “I was gonna take a shower, ya know.”

“No, no, it’s not that. It’s a holy stink all around you like someone taped it on you. I don’t like it.” Gavin crossed his arms.  “It’s almost as if…” he trailed off, his lips pursed.

“How can someone smell holy?” Jeremy said, putting a weary hand to his head. God, he had only woke up five minutes ago and he was already exhausted. “I haven’t even looked at a church in years, let alone been in one.”

“Hmm. Interesting,” Gavin hummed, a strange light in his terrifying eyes.

Jeremy discretely sniffed his shirt again, wondering if it’d be worth it to invest in holy perfume.

"So, Jeremy,” Gavin said, perking up again. “What is the person you love like? You should tell me everything about them so I can help you."

A thought occurred to Jeremy while he cracked open an egg. "Wait a sec, does it have to be a person? Like what if my most greatest love is three thousand cans of Red Bull or something like that?"

"Bestiality or not, I would still do everything in my power to help you get that," Gavin said, grinning. Jeremy balked. "However, I know for a fact what you want the most is a person. My love o’ meter tells me so." He wiggled his fingers importantly.

Jeremy couldn't help his flush. If Gavin was right, then that made him a pretty pathetic person, he couldn't help but think. 

"I mean, that can't be true," Jeremy said nervously. "You said your love o’ meter is broken, right? I'm pretty sure what I most desire is like, 5 billion dollars."

"C'mon, Jeremy! At least tell me their name!" Gavin insisted, descending from the ceiling to give him a desperate look. "I really want to help you out here."

Jeremy gave the demon a long, measuring stare, then let out a sigh.

"You know what? Fine," he said, slumping his shoulders wearily. "Since were stuck together, I guess I have to, right? Just promise me you won't make a big deal out of it, alright? And don't try anything without my okay."

Excitement burned behind Gavin's eyes. "I promise! I promise!"

"Alright then. His name..." Jeremy closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. "...is Rimothy."

"Rimothy?" Gavin gasped, putting his hands over his mouth. "What a romantic name! What are they like?" 

"Well, he's a romantic guy, so it fits," Jeremy said, nodding to himself. "He's super tall and tan and has like a rippling six-pack. Super hot dude."

"I see!" Gavin said. He had taken out his notebook again and began furiously writing down notes. "He sounds like the exact opposite of you. I bet he has lots of hair, then, right?"

Jeremy bit down his irritation and resisted the urge to pat his own head. "Yeah, actually."

Gavin surged forward and grabbed his hands, his grip surprisingly strong. "Don't worry, Jeremy! I'll help this Rimothy fall in love with your shiny bald head if it's the last thing I do!" 

"Thanks," Jeremy said, ripping his hands out of the demon's grasp. He didn't care if it meant he was stuck with Gavin forever, there was no way in hell he was going to let the demon know about Ryan. 

Then, did that also mean that he wouldn't ever get to see Ryan again? He hadn't even considered that thought before, and it sent a horrible pang through him. It wasn't just because he was in love with him, or whatever, but also because Ryan was a really good friend to him. His gaze wandered to the invitation Ryan had given him yesterday, which was sitting on his counter. He frowned and picked it up, before tearing it into careful shreds. 

Fuck. What an awful mess this was.

As Gavin continued to chatter eagerly about the mystical Rimothy, another thought occurred to Jeremy. Last night, hadn't he accidentally summoned Gavin in Ryan's office, supposedly? Sure, Jeremy had pretty shit luck, but the fact that the offering, incantation, and the circle were already there left no room for doubt.

So then, why the hell had Ryan been trying to summon a love demon?

 

* * *

 

 

"Please, just promise me you'll behave."

_I'll behave!_ Gavin hummed. He stood at Jeremy's feet, a small black cat once again, his eyes wide with excitement. _I just have one teensy question._

"Yeah?"

_Why are we hiding behind a tree?_

"We’re not hiding. We’re uh... scoping out the area. It's a common human practice, you should know." Jeremy took another quick look out at the house from beyond the tree, looking for any familiar heads.

He already regretted agreeing to Lindsay and Michael’s little gathering. They usually played video games and hung out with each other once a month, little get-togethers that Jeremy honestly looked forward to more than anything. He supposed he could’ve easily canceled, but he couldn’t even stomach the idea of Lindsay’s heartbroken face, or Michael’s enraged face, for that matter. Either way, the worst case scenario would only be if Lindsay mentioned Ryan again, but she was a pretty distractible person, and Gavin easily trickable.

So, no big deal, probably.

_I see! Humans are quite paranoid creatures, I suppose._

"Can't you turn into something that's not a cat? Lindsay’s gonna lose her goddamn mind again if you’re like that."

_Well-_

"No pandas either."

_Yeah, that's about it._ Gavin said, his cat shoulders moving in something akin to a shrug. _Never felt the need to learn anything different, honestly._

"Oh, this is just perfect," Jeremy groaned, putting his head in his hands.

He took one last nervous look out at the Jones’ house, then stepped out from around the tree.

_Is Rimothy here? Is that why your heart is beating so loudly?_

 "Who the fuck is- oh right." Jeremy put a hand to his head and picked up his pace so that he reached the front door. “No, I’m just having a heart attack.”

_Oh, alright, then! Carry on with that._

“Look, you need to promise me you won’t try any demon bullshit, alright?” Jeremy said, kneeling down so he could point threateningly at the cat. “You fuck this up for me, and I swear to Christ I will make your life miserable.”

There was a small cough, and he looked up to see a very uncomfortable jogger watching them. Jeremy cleared his throat and gave the woman a small wave.

“You gotta…uh…say it like you mean it,” he explained. “Otherwise they’ll piss everywhere, you know?”

The jogger gave one last confused look before quickening their pace and running off.

Jeremy sighed heavily and turned back to Gavin, who was looking up with him with those annoyingly adorable kitty eyes.

“Just…don’t ruin this for me, okay?” Jeremy said. “if we’re gonna have to learn to co-exist together, or whatever, you have to try to be normal around my friends.”

_Or you could just let me help you get Rimothy so I can take your soul,_ Gavin countered.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen, bud.”

Gavin’s ears flattened pathetically. _But-_

Just then, the door swung open in a loud swish of air, jolting the two of them. Lindsay leaned out of the doorway, an eyebrow raised mischievously.

“Aha!” she announced cheerfully. “I thought I heard a gremlin mumbling to himself on our doorstep.”

Jeremy stood up quickly, blushing. “Sorry. Dropped my keys.”

_Oh, it’s her! My human friend!_ Gavin bounded forward excitedly.

Lindsay looked down as a small bundle of fur slammed full force into her leg. She put a hand over her mouth and gasped sharply.

“Ah, shit,” Jeremy muttered. “Here we go again.”

“Oh my god! You brought him again! You brought Pip!” She scooped up the kitten and smothered him in her grasp.

“Pip?”

Lindsay pressed Gavin’s face close to hers. “Well, I knew you weren’t going to name him, so I did. It’s short for Sir Pippins.”

“You named my cat?” Jeremy said, baffled. Lindsay’s grin grew, and Jeremy cursed.

_Am I yours, Jeremy?_ Gavin said, awed.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. Lindsay, I’m not keeping him.”

Lindsay blinked innocently. “Sure you aren’t.”

“What the fuck’s going on out here? You two making out or something?”

Jeremy winced as Michael shouldered his way past Lindsay, his face twisted into a frown and a beer in hand. His hard gaze immediately fell on the cat in Lindsay’s arms, and Gavin reflexively tensed.

“Look, Michael!”  Lindsay squealed, unperturbed. “Jeremy brought his cat!” She lifted Gavin towards Michael’s face.

Michael blinked, unimpressed. “Oh yeah, Lil J? You’re bringing your fucking pets into my fucking home with their fucking fur on my fucking furniture, now? Is that where we’re at? Who the fuck do you think you are? You suddenly paying rent?”

_Little J? Is that because you are a smaller than average human? I love it!_ Gavin gave a small cat wiggle.

“Oh, c’mon, Michael,” Lindsay whined. “He can’t leave a baby kitten by itself! It’ll die!”

“How the fuck will it do that?” Michael said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Is it going to build itself a noose and trip into it? It’s a fucking cat, not a goddamn infant. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“No, it really could!” Lindsay protested. “There are so many ways a kitten could accidentally kill itself. I watched this one documentary where-”

“No! Stop!” Michael leaned forward and pinched both of her cheeks. “I don’t care, stop talking.”

“So, can it stay? Just for tonight?” Lindsay said, voice muffled with her stretched cheeks.

“He’s uh, very well trained,” Jeremy cut in.

Michael looked from Lindsay to Jeremy, and back to Lindsay again. His facial expression didn’t change, but Jeremy could see his shoulders slump slightly, like a silent sigh.

“You’re a menace. Both of you, a fucking menace.” He released Lindsay and stepped back, fixing Gavin with a disgusted glare. “You’re bringing a plague upon this household, I hope you know that. A literal plague.”

_What? Is he talking about me?_

“Thanks, Michael,” Lindsay and Jeremy chorused.

Michael waved his hand behind him as he stalked off back into his house. “Just so you know,” he called back. “But if anything falls off that fuck, whether it’s hair, piss, or fucking diarrhea, you’ll have to suck it up with your mouth.”

_Oh, god, why?_ Gavin choked out, disgusted.

“Yay, we won!” Lindsay cheered, swinging Gavin around triumphantly.

“In a way, I guess,” Jeremy mumbled.

He jammed his hands into his pockets and followed Lindsay into the house. She placed Gavin on her shoulder and cooed at him. Gavin turned to look back at Jeremy.

_He’s a strange human, that Michael._ Gavin said. _Acts all rough and scary on the outside, but my love o’ meter’s going off the charts._

Jeremy felt himself go red, and he put a hand over his face. “Please don’t say stuff like that,” he said.

“Huh?” Lindsay turned back with a pout. “But I just can’t help it. He’s so cute!”

“Um, right.”

Michael was already bussing around in the kitchen, dumping snacks into bowls and shoving them up out on the counter. Jeremy’s mouth immediately began to water as he looked at the colorful array of cookies, chips, and junk foods he would never let himself near regularly.

“Oh, Michael. Why,” Jeremy said, unable to tear his eyes away from a pile of sour patch kids.

“Huh? Whaddya mean?” Michael said in his awful, cheeky way. “I’m just putting these down here, ya know, just in case.”

“God, I hate you,” Jeremy said as he stuffed handfuls of candy into his mouth. Michael smirked.

“You are in for a real treat tonight, Jeremy,” Lindsay said. She had somehow gotten Gavin to balance perfectly on her head, and his eyes darted around excitedly as he took in their surroundings. “Might have ordered something tailored especially for you.”

Jeremy jerked up from his candy. “More food? You guys trying to kill me or something?”

“Not food, specifically. Might be a person. Suppose you could eat him if you wanted to.” She giggled behind her hand, and Michael groaned and mimed a gagging motion.

“Huh?” Jeremy blinked. “Is Fredo coming over?”

“Someone saucy is coming over, all right,” Lindsay leered. Michael put his head facedown on the counter.

The doorbell rang, and Lindsay immediately brightened. “Speaking of which!” She plopped Gavin down on the counter and skipped back down the hall to answer the door.

_Is this what human parties are really like?_ Gavin said, sniffing at a bowl of dip with disappointment in his tone. _Where are the chocolate fountains? The Jack Black? The giraffes? There’s only one toaster, for Christ’s sake!_

Jeremy rolled his eyes and picked up Gavin by the scruff of his neck, dumping him on the floor. Gavin let out an un-cat like screech of protest and batted at the bottom of his jeans. He ignored him and turned to Michael, who was tying a frilly pink apron around his waist.

“Is Lindsay being her regular freak self, or should I consider jumping out the window and making a break for it?” he casually asked, opening the fridge to fish out a beer.

Michael snorted. “Run while you still can. God knows it’s too late for me.”

Jeremy gave Michael a fond smile, and tried to ignore the tiny demon currently clawing its way up his leg. They clinked beers, and Jeremy took a large swig.

“See, this is nice, relaxing like this. Turns out I’m more than a bit fucking tired today.” Michaels voice was casual, but laced with significance.

Jeremy blinked. “Bad night?”

“Very bad. See, I was up until 4 am last night searching every bar in town for some tiny fuck that refused to text his friends back. Isn’t that fucking stupid?” Michael’s eyes narrowed dangerously, and Jeremy was hit with realization.

“Oh, shit, Michael, I’m so sorry. I can explain-”

“Don’t tell me you’re starting without me,” Lindsay scoffed, cutting him off suddenly.

They turned to see Lindsay stomping her way down the hall, toting a tall man behind her. The man let out a small, awkward chuckle as he entered the living room. Jeremy froze, every single one of his limbs locking together in shock. Gavin, who had somehow made his way to his shoulder, froze as well, his tail going stark-straight at attention.

It was Ryan.

“Um…hi,” he said stiffly, resolutely looking everywhere but Jeremy. He looked hilariously out of place, dressed in a wrinkled dress shirt and jeans, and holding a single droopy sunflower, like some sort of rejected prom date. Jeremy resisted the urge to rub at his eyes.

“Well, well, look who it fucking is,” Michael said, pursing his lips. “We ask you to come over for literal years, and you could never find the time. But as soon as we mention Jeremy is over, you almost tear yourself a new asshole rushing over here. I see how it is.” He crossed his arms judgmentally.

Ryan’s cheeks went pink. “That’s not…you’re really exaggerating things here.”

“Am I now, you fucking fraud?” Michael groused, raising an eyebrow.

Ryan sighed and mechanically turned towards him, pushing the flower in his direction. Michael grabbed it from him and eyed it dubiously.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? Shove it up my ass?” he said, but there was a small smile on his face as he reached behind him to fill a vase with water, obviously placated.

“Isn’t this exciting?” Lindsay said, doing a weird little Lindsay dance. “We’re gonna have a double date party, hell yeah. Surprise!”

Jeremy opened his mouth, then closed it again. He could feel Gavin’s claws digging into his skin.

Ryan’s gaze finally settled on him, looking more than a bit sheepish. Then, his stare flicked to Jeremy’s shoulder, and his eyes narrowed.

“You…have a cat?” he asked, slowly and carefully.

Jeremy jolted to life and snatched Gavin off his shoulder, holding him protectively behind his back. “Nope!” he squeaked.

“Yes!” Lindsay interjected. “Isn’t he adorable? I named him Pip.”

“I see.” Ryan took a step forward and held out his hand. “May I hold him?”

Jeremy scuttled backwards. “Ah, no need for that. That wouldn’t be a good idea.”

Ryan tilted his head in confusion. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“Ooh, hard rejection! That’s gotta hurt,” Lindsay said, looking as if she were about to grab some popcorn.

“He’s asking to hold your cat, not your dick,” Michael pointed out, waving his spatula around for emphasis and looking entirely too amused. “What’s the problem, Lil J?”

There were plenty of fucking problems, namely that Ryan was a literal demon summoner and Jeremy was holding a literal demon in his hands. If Ryan found out that Jeremy had broke into his office and summoned a demon and formed a contract without a license, what would he think? Would he be disgusted? Would he report him? Would he kill Gavin?

And that wasn’t even touching on the fact that Ryan was the one Jeremy was in love with. If Gavin figured that out, he wouldn’t stop until Jeremy’s life was a living disaster.

Jeremy’s grip tightened on the cat in his hands.

“Nah, I just know how Ryan is around animals. Remember the cow incident?”

The tension in the room instantly broke, and Ryan’s expression soured. “Okay, look, in my defense, that cow obviously had some sort of vendetta against my pants.”

Michael hummed out his trademark podracer laugh. “Sure, you keep telling yourself that, you fucking creep.”

As Lindsay and Ryan launched into some nonsensical argument about what parts of the body should be milkable, Jeremy started to carefully edge his way towards the exit. Immediately, Michael’s sharp gaze zeroed in on him, freezing him in place.

“Oh no you don’t,” Michael said, his grin going feral. “You’re going to enjoy yourself tonight or I’ll strangle you myself. Besides, you own me one after last night.”

Jeremy violently rolled his eyes and stepped back. Such fucking busy-bodies, all of them. Trevor and Lindsay were annoying enough on their own terms, but Michael was the absolute worst. Somewhere along the way, he had gotten it in his head that Jeremy and Ryan were going to tragically die alone if he didn’t intervene at every obnoxious opportunity. But mostly, he had always loved to see Jeremy squirm, the absolute sadist. Jeremy could already see the excited gleam in his eyes. Any other night he would’ve laughed off his irritation, but tonight was not one of those nights. He needed to leave, fast, before Gavin noticed-

His thoughts trailed off suddenly as he realized the conspicuous emptiness between his hands. The demon was gone. He whirled around in horror to see the cat padding his way over to Ryan, his tail swishing back and forth. Ryan kneeled down, smiling warmly.

“Ah, Jeremy, it seems your cat does like me,” he said happily, offering out his hand. Gavin nudged his head against it, as Jeremy watched, dumbfounded.

“Wait,” he started, stepping forward, but Ryan was already pulling Gavin into his arms, his face soft with child-like glee. Gavin’s large cat eyes turned to Jeremy, far too bright and shiny to be natural.

_Rimothy, huh?_ Gavin said, and Jeremy’s mouth went dry. _You have some interesting taste here, Jeremy. I can’t wait to get to know him._

Something about the way his words lilted made Jeremy pause, like there was some other layer to them that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. It made his blood run cold.

Ryan’s eyes caught his, and his eyebrows creased together in concern. “Jeremy, is everything alright? You’ve gone white.”

“I’m fine,” Jeremy croaked. “Just have a feeling it’s gonna be one hell of a night.”

 

 


	4. Only the Best Parties Have Moral Quandaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I guess I'm continuing this lol... I have no idea how this chapter ended up so long, but I think I've gotten more than a bit invested in this story. Silliness aside, it is always fun to write. I hope you enjoy~

Jeremy had never felt more awkward in his miserable life.

He sat stark-straight in his seat, sweaty hands folded between his thighs, doing everything in his power to ignore the warm press of Ryan’s leg next to him. Gavin, still a sleek, black cat, lay luxuriously sprawled across Ryan’s lap, his lazy eyes slitted and pointed knowingly in Jeremy’s direction.

_Hey, Jeremy, look at me,_ he said, voice mischievous and teasing as it echoed in Jeremy’s mind _. I’m right over his dick. Do you see me? Are you jealous? Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy look._

Jeremy wanted to die. They had only been here for about ten minutes now, but it felt like decades had passed. Michael and Lindsay were still puttering around in the kitchen, arguing about something pointless and inane, and he and Ryan had been conveniently shoved together on a small loveseat, even though there was plenty of other seating in the house. Through all that time, Gavin had not once shut up about him and his dumb plans to get Ryan’s love. It was literal hell.

_Jeremy, I know you can hear me,_ Gavin pressed. _Why are you acting like this? You won’t win his heart if you keep on ignoring us._

Jeremy peeked over at Ryan out of the corner of his eye. He looked plenty more relaxed then Jeremy felt, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbow, and his tongue stuck out in concentration as he gripped the controller. He let out a low curse as his avatar got eviscerated for the tenth time.

_What an idiot. He completely forgot to heal,_ Gavin commented, momentarily forgetting his mission to give the television a dubious look.

Ryan let out a small sigh and turned to Jeremy. Thanks to their already close proximity, he nearly turned into Jeremy, his hair brushing his cheek and his arm pressing into his chest. Jeremy immediately froze and focused his attention resolutely straight ahead, avoiding Ryan’s warm gaze.

“You sure you don’t wanna play?” he asked, offering the controller.

_Jeremy!_ Gavin cried. _Tell him that that’s not the only thing you wanna play with and give him a wink, like this!_ He gave a weird cat wink that looked more like a spasmed eye twitch.

“Um. No thanks,” Jeremy said, leaning as far back from the other man as he was able.

“Oh. I see.” Ryan leaned back, a flicker of hurt flashing across his face. An awkward silence fell over them as Ryan returned to the game.

Gavin stood up in Ryan’s lap. _Jeremy! You botched it all up! What are you doing, you self-destructive bastard?_

Jeremy ignored him yet again, leaning his arm against the armrest so he could prop his head up.

_Jeremy,_ Gavin whined. His voice was starting to feel like an incessant mosquito buzzing around his skull.  

After another moment of silence, Gavin’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

_You really exaggerated with your Rimothy_ , Gavin said. _Where’s the long hair? The tan skin? Does he even have the six-pack abs?_ He gave Ryan’s chest a thoughtful look and clawed at the bottom of his shirt. _I’ll check it out._

Then, in one fluid movement, he nosed under the bottom of the shirt and slipped in. Jeremy’s jaw dropped.

Ryan made a little noise of surprise and looked down at the lump under his shirt. “Oh, hey there, buddy. Whatcha doin' in there?”

_Jeremy, it’s very dark in here,_ Gavin announced. _I don’t see anything._

“Aww, why does Pip like you so much, anyway?” Lindsay said, flopping over the side of the couch to pout at Ryan.

“’Cause it’s Jeremy’s cat, obviously,” Michael piped up, pulling a tray out of the oven. “Of course it likes Ryan.”

“Pretty sure it’s my cologne. Eau de Catnip,” Ryan said, a small smile on his face as he scratched at the cat’s head through his shirt.

_It’s very warm in here,_ Gavin said. _Maybe I’ll stay-_

Jeremy stood up abruptly and snatched the cat up from beneath Ryan’s shirt, tucking him up and under his arm. “Gotta take a shit,” he said gruffly, and darted off.

“Is he…taking his cat to the bathroom?” Ryan’s voice trailed confusedly behind him as he ran off.

Jeremy stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him. He dumped Gavin on the sink counter and pointed threateningly at him.

“You need to stop,” he hissed. “This is getting ridiculous. You can’t just do things like that.”

There was a small pop of dark energy, and Gavin’s demonic form unfolded in front of him. Jeremy felt his heart jump. Although it only been a few hours since Gavin was in his true form, he had already forgotten how truly unsettling his appearance was.

Gavin’s mouth curled up into a sharp smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said innocently.

“Look, you’re misunderstanding things,” Jeremy said. “He’s not the one I’m in love with.”

Gavin tilted his head. “Why are you lying to me, Jeremy? Didn’t your mother tell you to never try and trick a demon?” He floated closer as he took on a more dangerous tone, those off-putting eyes carefully studying his face.

Jeremy swallowed dryly, suddenly very aware of the cramped room there were in, and how there was no room to back up, or run.

“I’m not…I’m not lying,” he continued stubbornly.

Gavin frowned deeply, then broke out into another smile. “Oh, I can’t stay mad at you.” He barreled forward and captured Jeremy in a tight hug. “Being a cat is fun and all, but I can’t hold you like this.”

“You can’t hold me like this anyway,” Jeremy said crossly, heat rising to his cheeks as Gavin’s tail curled around the small of his back. “Remember what I said about no touching?”

“Oh, right.” Gavin sadly extricated himself, drifting slowly to the floor like a deflated balloon.

Jeremy put a hand to his head. “We should just leave. This is so dumb; I don’t even know why I thought it’d be a good idea to come.”

Gavin immediately sat back up and grasped at Jeremy’s hands. “No, we can’t leave now! I’m already having so much fun.”

“Fun torturing me?”

“Jeremy, I’m just trying to get you with the one that you love, why are you so against it?” Gavin eyed him curiously. “Isn’t that what you most desire?”

“What I most desire is for you to leave me alone,” Jeremy said.

Gavin scratched his chin and looked genuinely thoughtful for a minute. “That’d be pretty funny if it were true. What a paradox! Like we would form a contract and then I’d disappear immediately and it’d be completed.” He giggled to himself.

Jeremy looked at the toilet, wondering how it’d feel if he bashed his head on it.

The mirth drained from Gavin’s face, and his expression twisted into something serious. “Why him?” he asked quietly.

Jeremy blinked rapidly. “What-”

Just then, there was a loud rap at the door, causing Jeremy to jump.

“Hey…uh, Jeremy? You alright in there?” Lindsay called out.

Jeremy winced and cursed silently. He made a shushing motion towards Gavin, and Gavin mimicked it cheerfully.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Jeremy called out. “Just…you know…shitting.”

There was a pause. Gavin laughed soundlessly.

“Well, have fun with that?” Lindsay chuckled. “Sorry, thought I heard you talking to yourself. I’ll uh…leave now.”

Jeremy sighed in relief as the sound of footsteps retreated down the hallway. He turned back to Gavin, who was smirking slightly.

“Look, I’m gonna tell you how things are going to go down,” Jeremy whispered urgently. “You’re never going to finish your contract because I’m never going to let you set me up with someone. There’s no point in even trying.”

“But my love o’meter says…”

“That’s not a thing!” Jeremy said, struggling to keep his voice down. “I don’t care what it says because it’s not real!”

“That’s rude.” Gavin crossed his arms. “I don’t understand you, Jeremy. He’s what you love the most, but you don’t want to be with him? Why? Are all humans this strange?”

“Is it really that strange?” Jeremy said. “Maybe I just don’t want you near my damn soul.”

Gavin’s eyes narrowed. “Well, that just won’t do, Jeremy. I want your soul.”

Jeremy put his head in his hands and sighed heavily. “God, I should really invest in a lawyer. Let’s just…shelve this for now and try to get through today, okay?”

“Whatever you say, boss!” Gavin smirked. There was another pop of energy, and then there was a cat sitting on the sink. _I want to help you, Jeremy. You’ll thank me later, I promise._

“Right.” Jeremy shoved his way out of the bathroom, and Gavin jumped down after him.

Out in the living room, Ryan, Michael, and Lindsay were all gathered together, surrounding a heaping platter of wings.

“Come on, Ryan, you can do it,” Lindsay was saying, giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder. “You just gotta ask him. It’s no big deal.”

“Yeah, what she said, you fucking coward,” Michael added as he took a tearing bite out of a wing.

“I know that,” Ryan sighed. “I just-”

Jeremy awkwardly shuffled back into the room, and Ryan cut off as he noticed him, his cheeks going red. He stood up abruptly.

“Ah, you’re back,” he said.

Michael narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You didn’t clog the toilet, did you?”  

“Nah,” Jeremy said. “Just had a bad burrito. Lots of gas. You know how it is.”

Michael barked out a laugh. “Fuck, dude, that’s nasty. Well, I hope you got it out of your system. Me and Linds wanted to go swimming a bit before it got too dark.”

Jeremy brightened, immediately forgetting any intent he had to leave. “Sounds great.”

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit,” Ryan pointed out. “And isn’t it too cold?”

“Either wear one of mine, or swim in your underwear, I don’t care.” Michael flippantly waved a hand. “And my pool is heated. You would know that if you had ever bothered to show up here _, Ryan_.”

Ryan put up his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll wear one of yours.”

As Ryan slunk off to get changed, Michael put shot glasses on the counter.

Jeremy rubbed his hands together. “Now we’re talking.”

“Liquid courage,” Lindsay said with a wink.

Jeremy gave her the stink eye as Michael poured out some Jaeger, a bottle he usually reserved just for him. As Michael turned to grab a chaser, Jeremy slammed down all three shots, never breaking eye contact with Lindsay.

“Oh, shit, he’s out for blood,” Lindsay said, whistling.

Michael turned back around and stared blankly at the empty glasses. “Huh. Yeah, he did that.”

_What’s going on up there? I can’t see. Jeremy, I’m not feeling involved_ , Gavin piped up below him, jumping up on his feet and craning his neck upwards.

Jeremy felt the warmth settle in his stomach and grinned, already feeling marginally better.

After a few minutes, Ryan returned, his jeans exchanged for pastel swim shorts and a towel slung around his broad shoulders. Jeremy swallowed, immediately regretting his entire existence. He turned back for the bottle of Jaeger and Michael gave him a knowing look.

_There are no six-pack abs!_ Gavin pointed out, tilting his head. _Are you sure you’re in love with him?_

Jeremy ignored him, and grabbed the alcohol as he made his way into the backyard.

Outside, the air was a bit warmer than it had been the past week, and the sky was already bathed in deep reds and oranges from the sinking sun, colors that reflected into the large pool in the center of the yard. As Michael turned to fuss with the bluetooth speaker, Gavin slipped out after them.

_Jeremy, I really don’t know what you see in him,_ Gavin commented, circling Ryan like a predator. _He doesn’t seem like your type at all._

Ryan gave the demon a nervous look. “Why does it look like your cat’s about to eat me?” he said, then bent down to scoop Gavin up. “Is he even an outdoor cat?”

“He’s a wherever I put him type of cat,” Jeremy mumbled, and shrugged out of his shirt and jeans. He hadn’t particularly remembered his bathing suit either, but he didn’t really mind swimming in his underwear.

There was some sort of sound akin to a strangled cough. He looked up to see Ryan, and Gavin tucked up in his arms, both staring at him with wide eyes.

Panic jumped in his stomach. “Oh shit, is my dick out?” he exclaimed, and hurriedly looked down. But no, everything was thankfully all tucked away.

“What’s this about dicks?” Lindsay called, poking her head out of the sliding glass door.

Michael raised an eyebrow. “Nah. Lil J’s just showing off. What a tool.”

Ryan went red, put Gavin down and mechanically turned away. Gavin gave an excited hop.

_Yes! This mood is perfect,_ he cried. _Okay, now that you’ve loosened him up, Jeremy, it’s time to swoop in for the kill. Time to activate Plan T._

“Plan T?” Jeremy said, half to himself. Gavin had rattled off an entire alphabet of nonsensical plans in order to win Ryan’s heart, each more idiotic than the next. Jeremy had blocked out as much as it as he could for the sake of his own sanity, and couldn’t for the life of him remember what ‘plan t’ was supposed to entail. Whatever it was, it couldn’t possibly be good.

_Here we go!_ Gavin screeched out some sort of horrific battle cry that felt like he was jabbing knives into Jeremy’s brain. Then, he scampered forward, threading in between Ryan’s legs. Ryan stumbled, and, like a tree felled in a forest, began to slowly topple to the side.

Plan T. Plan Trip. Jeremy slapped a hand to his head.

Thankfully, Ryan avoided the hard pavement that could’ve broken his head open like a watermelon, and instead twisted mid-air and fell with a loud slap into the pool. Jeremy sighed with relief, then whipped around to point an accusing finger at Gavin.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed. “He could’ve died.”

“Nah, I think he did die,” Michael said, deadpan. “You and your cat double-teamed him. Brutal.”

Jeremy glared at Michael, then turned to give the pool a nervous look, where Ryan’s blob had sunk slowly to the bottom.

_No, Jeremy, what are_ you _doing?_ Gavin shot back, doing a series of impatient hops. _This is the part where you go help him up, and tell him ‘oh, it seems you’ve fallen for me’, don’t you remember? It’s foolproof, Jeremy!_

“Oh, fuck off,” Jeremy said. Though the comment was directed to Gavin, Michael shrugged in response.

Ryan’s wavery blob still remained unmoving, and a trickle of nerves ran down his back. What if he had gotten a concussion, and passed out? With one last vitriolic glare at Gavin, he dove into the pool, cutting easily into the water. Ignoring the burn of chlorine, he forced his eyes open. Ryan was lounging on the bottom of the pool, arms pillowing his head as he lazily breathed out a stream of bubbles. Jeremy nearly sagged in relief.

Ryan caught his eye and winked, before going limp and lolling out his tongue. Playing dead. Jeremy let out an involuntary snort. He peddled forward and scooped the man up, and pushed against the floor of the pool to shoot to the surface. As he pulled Ryan’s limp form towards the edge of the pool, Gavin frantically scurried towards them.

_Oh my god, I didn’t actually kill him, did I?_ he exclaimed, pressing his paws on Ryan’s forehead so he could lean in close. _What would Geoff say?_

“Nope. He’s really dead,” Jeremy announced. “Rest in peace, you old bastard. You will be missed, probably.”

_Wait, he’s not actually dead._ Gavin stood up on Ryan’s face and walked around in a circle. _So why is he pretending? I don’t understand._

Jeremy rolled his eyes and pulled the pacing cat off of Ryan’s twitching face. Michael looked over, beer in hand, and a disgusted grimace on his face.

“Fucking Ryan. Ruining everything,” he snorted. “Die somewhere else, you selfish bitch.”

“Give him CPR,” Lindsay chimed in. “Mouth to mouth.”

“CPR, huh,” Jeremy grinned. “I suppose I could try.”

Ryan had stuck his tongue back in and had jokingly pursed out his lips. For one feverish, alcohol-induced second, he wondered what it would be like if he just swooped down and kissed him, right here, half submerged in pool water, washed in the soft pinks and oranges from the sky. Immediately, he flushed and banished that thought far in the recesses of his mind and beat it down with several metaphorical sticks. He was so fucking stupid.

Instead, he balled his hand up into a fist and punched Ryan square in the chest. Ryan shot up, his eyelids fluttering in surprise. Michael sighed and walked off.

“Oof,” Ryan said, and his eyes crinkled up warmly as he smiled. Jeremy couldn’t help his own answering smile, and he felt his heart squeeze as Ryan let out a small, childish laugh.

Then, he felt a small prickle on his back, and turned to see Gavin watching them with bright, analyzing eyes. He gulped and leaned back.

_Jeremy, can we have a bit of a time out?_ Gavin said, his tail flicking back and forth like a metronome _. I need to tell you something._

_Great_ , Jeremy thought, feeling like a kid who had gotten caught looking at porn.

“He’s alive!” Lindsay cheered. “What a miracle.”

“Yo, Jesus Jr.,” Michael called out. “Come help me with this dumbfuck speaker before I use it to bash everyone’s brains in.”

“So it is written, so it shall be done,” Ryan replied solemnly, eyes sparkling with mischief.

As Ryan stood to go help Michael fix the speaker, Jeremy slipped back into the pool, following Gavin as he padded to the other end, a reasonable distance from everyone else. Jeremy casually leaned up against the side of the pool, propping his head with his arms as Gavin came to a stop in front of him.

“So?” he whispered expectantly.

_Jeremy, there’s something a bit off about that Ryan. Have you noticed?_

“What?” He had not been expecting this, of all things. “What do you even mean?”

_You don’t feel it?_  Gavin said, something a bit petulant in his tone _. When he was staring at you, my love o’ meter didn’t work at all! It was like staring in a white void, Jeremy. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?_

Jeremy blinked at him, unimpressed. “How many times do I have to tell you that that’s not a thing? Also, why are you being all cagey all of the sudden? Change your mind on setting me up? That suits me fine, honestly.”

Gavin’s eyes went wide. _That’s not it! I just- ugh. Nevermind. I suppose it’s not my place to judge what you wanna get with._

Jeremy put his buried his head in his arms. “Why is everything you say so dumb? Look, he’s a weird guy sometimes, sure, but he’s perfectly fine. I promise, okay?”

He glanced over at the man in question, who was currently gesturing dramatically with the speaker, looking as if he were a second away from chucking it into the pool. Classic petty Ryan.

Gavin gave him a long, measuring stare. The sunlight had caused his pupils to almost completely retract into thin slits.

_Well, I guess if someone like you is in love with him, he can’t be all that bad now,_ he decided.

Jeremy furrowed his brow. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re complimenting me or insulting me.”

_No matter,_ Gavin said, perking up as he took on a defensive pose. _We did sign a contract. I’m gonna make you two get together if it’s the last thing I do._

“Yeah, you’re not really getting my vote of confidence, bud,” Jeremy said. “All you’ve done today is annoy the hell out me and almost kill Ryan. Nice. Some love demon you are.”

_I’m just warming up, Jeremy_! Gavin protested. _I went to school for this, I’ll have you know. Learned everything there is to know about human hearts- all those, um, arteries and whatnot. Also, I watched every season of Golden Girls._

Jeremy raised an eyebrow and Gavin cowed backward, wrapping his tail sheepishly around his legs.

_Well, okay, maybe I’ve jumped the gun a tad on things. I’ll just focus on reconnaissance, then. Gotta know your target, right? I’ll know everything there is to know about your love with this ‘Ryan’, just you watch, Jeremy._

“Have fun with that,” Jeremy shrugged, and pushed off the edge, flipping back into the warm water.

Suddenly, the backyard was filled with the shrill sound of some sort of Disney song as the speaker sputtered to life. Michael pumped his fist in the air.

“Hell yeah! We got it.”

“How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” Ryan said dryly.

Michael rolled his eyes and slung an arm around Lindsay. “Anyway, who wants to start this party off with a game of chicken?”

 

* * *

 

 

The night went by in a blur.

The game of chicken went about how he thought it might, with Lindsay nearly almost drowning him in the shallow end of the pool, as most things ended with her involved. They then went on to play a game of half-assed pool volleyball, which dissolved into Ryan whacking everyone with a noodle, as most things ended with him involved.

Thankfully, Gavin seemed to be taking his reconnaissance mission seriously, and stayed mostly quiet as he observed them, save for occasional comments about ‘strange human rituals’. But somehow, even those comments became more and more sparse as the night wore on.

For some weird reason, Jeremy had some sort of awful feeling niggling at him as he thought about Gavin, like the feeling you’d get if you brought an overexcited kid to a theme park, then realized they were too short to ride the rides, and had to go on without them. Which was a fucking stupid thing to feel, especially considering Gavin was a literal demon, and probably had no concept of emotions besides soul-lust or whatever. But somehow, his feeling only got worse.

At several points, Michael, Lindsay, and Ryan would get into some sort of never-ending argument about something pointless, like batteries or cannibals or some anime show. Gavin would eagerly pipe up his own responses to the disputes, things that of course went unnoticed by others. At the fourth time this happened, Gavin’s voice trailed out awkwardly, and his ears flattened.

_Oh, that’s silly of me,_ he said. _I forgot they can’t hear me._

He turned his back to them and stopped talking entirely after that. Jeremy slipped down another shot, trying to rid the strange feeling burning in his gut.

A few hours after the sun had set, Michael finally pulled himself out of the pool, more than a bit wasted at that point, and leaning heavily on a chuckling Lindsay.

“Ryan,” he slurred, tripping over his feet a bit so he could point accusingly at the man. “I just want you to know that Jeremy used to be a fucking gymnast. You know what that means?”

“He used to be very in shape?” Ryan guessed, an amused eyebrow raised.

“It means…” Michael stumbled closer, jabbing a finger into the man’s chest. “That if you don’t hurry your old ass up, he’s gonna cartwheel into someone else’s asshole. That’s what it means.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s enough of that.” Jeremy got out of the pool so he could shove at Michael. “Go eat some bread or something.”

Lindsay went to go scoop Gavin up. His eyes went wide, but he made no attempt to struggle as she pulled Michael and him towards the door.

“If you two aren’t making out by the time I come back,” Michael yelled. “I’m calling the police, I swear to god-”

The door closed behind them, and blessed silence filled the backyard. Jeremy rolled his eyes and grabbed a towel to wrap around himself as he plopped down on one of the patio chairs.

“Guess we have some peace and quiet,” he said, trying to ignore the fact that his heartbeat was already picking up.

Ryan’s lips quirked into a gentle smile. “Guess so,” he said, and joined Jeremy on the seat next to him.

It was pretty peaceful; the only noises around the soft call of the crickets and the gentle lapping of the water against the edges of the pool. The temperature had dropped considerably with the coming of the night, and Jeremy couldn’t help his shiver. Ryan wordlessly handed him another towel, draping it over his shoulders.

Jeremy’s heart tugged, and he looked up at him with wide eyes. Good guy Ryan. He probably didn’t even think about it. He was so unfair, really.

Ryan’s eyes were averted, but his cheeks were a little red. Jeremy hoped he hadn’t gotten sunburned.

It was silly to think, but he looked really nice, out here in the low lighting of the thin moon and the strings of small lanterns Michael had hung up around the patio. He let his gaze roam over him, down from his expressive eyes to the strong slope of his jaw to his collarbone, where he followed the path of a lone drip of water as it slipped down his chest. Ryan cleared his throat suddenly, and caught Jeremy’s gaze.

Jeremy’s stomach dropped, and he felt heat gather in his cheeks. He had been caught red-handed. There was a strange expression on Ryan’s face, almost pained, and Jeremy resisted the urge to vault out of the chair and drown himself in the dark pool. God, he was so fucking obvious, wasn’t he? He could just tell that Ryan was disgusted with him, could feel it rolling off the man in waves.

“Jeremy,” Ryan said, voice impossibly soft.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jeremy blurted out, desperate to change the subject, to stave off the rejection he knew was coming.

It worked. Ryan blinked, confused. “Sorry?”

“I mean- fuck, that’s not what I meant,” Jeremy said, frantically backpedaling. “I meant that you’re always so busy doing other things, you know. Which is fine and all, you’re a busy guy, I get it. But you know, you haven’t had much time to really hang out with us lately. So, uh, what makes today different?”

Ryan’s eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully. “You’re right. I haven’t been around that much lately. Work’s been really driving me hard, and I feel bad for that. I wanted to make it up to Lindsay and Michael, and I knew coming here would make them happy.” He trailed off, and looked at Jeremy a little shyly. “Well, maybe there was a bigger reason, but it’s not as noble.”

“You wanted to eat all of Michael’s food,” Jeremy guessed.

Ryan chuckled. “Perhaps. But mostly…I wanted to ask you something.” He twisted his towel in his hands.

“You do realize phones exist, right?”

“Well, yes. But this is something I’d rather ask in person, I guess.” The towel twisted further.

For some reason, butterflies erupted in Jeremy’s stomach. He slugged down some of his beer to calm them. “I’m all ears.”

A myriad of emotions flickered across Ryan’s face. A muscle in his jaw twitched, and he opened his mouth and closed it again. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I…I wanted to know…” He stopped, scrubbed a hand across his face. Jeremy drained the rest of his beer. “Actually, maybe this isn’t the best time. You’ve been drinking, right?”

“I never stopped,” Jeremy stated.

“Right,” Ryan sighed. “You’re uh… going to my party, yes?”

“Oh, you mean that Halloween thing, right?” Jeremy asked. “I, uh, I’m not sure actually.” Toting a demon to a party attended by demon summoners and hunters probably wasn’t the smartest idea.

Ryan’s face fell. “I see. Has something come up?”

“Well…it’s not that, exactly….”

Ryan’s eyes were nothing short of heartbreaking as his eyebrows drew together. “I was really hoping you would come.”

Jeremy immediately felt his will crumble. “Nah, I was just joking,” he said. “Playing hard to get, you know? Of course I’ll be there.”

Ryan broke out in a relieved smile. “That’s good. I’ll ask you then.”

“I’ll be waiting with bated breath.” Jeremy put a hand over his heart and swooned dramatically.

Ryan’s face hardened into something more serious. “There’s something else I wanted to know about. I heard what happened to you last night.”

Jeremy froze. For a minute, he panicked, thinking that Ryan had somehow realized that he had broken into his office and summoned a demon. But Ryan’s face was only concerned, not accusing. There was no way he could’ve found out, anyway, he reassured himself.

“Did you, now?” he said stiffly. “Word gets around quick, huh?”

“Michael told me,” Ryan said. “Did you…happen to see anything strange last night? Anything at all?” His gaze turned intense, and Jeremy cowed a bit under the strength of it. He swallowed, and steeled himself.

“Besides Lindsay in general- nah, nothing at all.”

Ryan sat back, his face softening back to normal, and Jeremy silently sighed in relief.

“I’m glad you’re alright. There’s been some…worrying things happening around here recently.”

_Yeah, like you having a fucking summoning circle for a love demon in your totally not suspicious secret office,_ Jeremy thought irritably.

“Look, everything is fine, okay?” Jeremy groused. “I only need one mom, not ten.”

“We… they’re just worried about you. I wouldn’t take too much offense to that,” Ryan said. “Besides, you know how…things get with you, sometimes.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’m fucking dumb and I got shit luck and I can’t do anything right without someone holding my hand. Fine.”

Ryan looked pained again. “Jeremy…”

Jeremy waved a hand. “Nah, man, I don’t care. God knows I’m one step away from tripping into a demon’s open mouth, right?”

_Literally,_ he thought.

Ryan’s expression hardened again, his eyes glinting like chips of ice in the darkness. “I would never let that happen,” he said coldly.

Jeremy felt a chill run down his back.

“Do you…really hate demons that much?” he started cautiously. “I mean, they can’t all be that bad, right?”

Ryan’s head snapped over to him. Jeremy jumped. “What do you mean?” he said.

“Uh, hypothetically speaking, of course,” Jeremy said hurriedly. “There’s a lot of demons, right? So statistically, there might be some that just wanna chill and have a good time or whatever, I’m sure.”

Ryan looked tired, suddenly. “Maybe it would seem that way. But if a demon were acting abnormally, it would only be for the same reason: To let your guard down, so that they can get to your soul. That’s all they care for, Jeremy. It’s in their nature; there’s no changing that.”

Jeremy deflated. Ryan’s voice was steeled with conviction, and he felt any retorts he had die in his throat. “Ah.”

“Why are you asking questions like that, anyway?”

“Eh, alcohol. Gets you all existential, you know how it is,” Jeremy said, then wrinkled his nose as he stared at Ryan. “Or, no you wouldn’t, would you?”

Ryan laughed, and the icy mood around them melted. “No, I don’t suppose I would.”

Jeremy looked over at Ryan, and another question danced on his lips. If it was true, that Ryan had made a summoning circle for Gavin, then did that mean that he had someone he loved? The thought was like a punch to his chest, knocking all of his breath away.

What kind of person could Ryan be in love with, so much to the point he would summon something he hated just to help win their heart? Someone smart, probably, someone like Jack, or Trevor, who could keep up with all his witticisms and educated references. How could someone like him even stand up to that? Jeremy sank in his chair, pulling his beer bottle close to his chest. He had always known he had no chance, so why did it still hurt so damn much?

Just then, Ryan’s bag vibrated, and he frowned as he fished out his phone. As he switched it on, his brow furrowed in frustration.

“Damnit, somethings come up,” he cursed. “Jeremy, I have to go.”

“Hey, that’s fine. You do you, superman.”

Ryan’s face softened. “I will. And Jeremy, make sure you get Lindsay to drive you home tonight, okay?”

“Alrighty,” Jeremy sing-songed, cheerily brandishing his beer.

Ryan reached into his bag to retrieve his shirt and quickly slung it on. Then, he turned to give Jeremy one last important look.

“I’ll be out for the rest of the week, so try to be careful, okay? I’ll see you at the party.”

“I’ll do the best that my idiot self can do.” Jeremy gave a wobbly salute.

Ryan made a move towards Jeremy, his arms held out at his sides, then aborted the movement halfway. He awkwardly pulled a hand through his hair. “I’ll, uh, leave now.”

He fled, shuffling quickly out the back gate. Jeremy watched him go, feeling more than a bit strange.

Was Ryan really right about demons? Jeremy knew he should agree with him- it was more than a bit clear how much Gavin wanted his soul. But somehow, something didn’t sit exactly right in his stomach. He cradled his beer thoughtfully, wondering if it was just the alcohol talking.

There was a small rustle from the bushes, and a small, dark creature emerged. It was a sleek, black cat, with eerily bright eyes. Gavin.

Jeremy stood up in shock, his chair tumbling backwards in his haste. “What are you doing here?” he exclaimed. “I thought you were inside.”

_I told you I was doing reconnaissance,_ Gavin said, eyes unblinking. The dark of his pupils had almost completely encompassed the green of his iris. _I think I learned a lot._

Jeremy’s mouth went dry. For some weird reason, he felt strangely guilty.

“That’s totally not creepy,” Jeremy said, bending down to right the chair. “Maybe…we should get going too.”

_If you say so._

Jeremy stiffened, expecting Gavin to say something more, but the demon stayed oddly quiet as they made their way back inside. Though the lights were on, there was no sort of noise coming in through the house.

“Michael? Lindsay?” Jeremy called out. There was no answer. But just as he began to feel panic rise in his throat, he noticed a flicker of movement from the living room. Michael and Lindsay were both passed out of the couch, curled up together and snoring softly.

_Guess I’m walking. Sorry Ryan,_ he thought. His apartment was only a couple blocks away, and walking was how he got here, but it was pretty late- murderers and all that. He was sure it’d be fine.

Jeremy gave a fond smile to the snoozing couple, and brought over a thick blanket to tuck in over them. Gavin jumped up on the couch to watch him.

_They’re strange, those humans,_ Gavin said. His head tilted. _I don’t think I dislike it, though._

“Yeah, me neither,” Jeremy said. He picked Gavin up and plopped him on the floor. “Let’s get going, okay?”

_We’ll see them again, right?_ Gavin looked up at Jeremy, something innocent in his stare.

Jeremy paused. The question fell heavily in his chest.

 “Yeah. I’m sure we will,” he said finally.

After he quickly changed back into his clothes, they made their way out into the cold night. They walked in silence for a while, Gavin’s head down as he padded forward. Jeremy felt guilt gnawing away at his insides.

What was he even feeling guilty for? It wasn’t as if anything Ryan had said had been wrong. But somehow, he kept remembering how small Gavin’s back looked as he turned away from the others, his ears flat with awkwardness.

Fuck.

“They would like you, you know,” Jeremy said, before he could regret anything.

Gavin’s ears perked up. _What?_

“Michael and Lindsay, I mean,” Jeremy clarified, pulling his jacket closer around himself. “Michael has a thing for idiots, so I’m sure he’d be into you-”

_Hey!_

“-and you and Lindsay are pretty similar in some ways, so of course you’d get along. It would drive Michael up a wall.” Jeremy gave a soft smile. “It’s just that you’re…I mean, if you weren’t…”

_A demon?_ Gavin finished flatly.

Jeremy kicked a rock with his shoe. “Well, yeah.”

Gavin was silent for another long moment, and more awkwardness fell over Jeremy.

He had fucked it up again. What could he even say? What was even trying to do in the first place? He irritably kicked at another rock, but spectacularly missed, and stubbed his toe on the sidewalk. As he hopped on one foot, cursing silently, Gavin’s ears flattened again.

_Why do humans hate demons so much anyway?_ He asked, voice hushed. _Geoff warned me about it, but I never really understood it. Seems like a waste, honestly._

“I mean, thousands of years of murders, possession, and soul-stealing tend to cause that sort of thing, I guess,” Jeremy shrugged.

_I can’t speak on the murder and possession bit personally, but why are humans so fond of their souls? They aren’t using them for anything._

“Hey, you don’t know that,” Jeremy shot back. “I use my soul all the time. What else would I use to wash my car?”

_That’s true,_ Gavin said thoughtfully. Then, his head tilted. _Wait, what?_

“Nevermind. Dumb joke.”

_See, it’s funny, ‘cause the way we’ve seen it, it’s always been the other way ‘round_. _I’ve always been told how cruel humans are, how they’ll only try to trick you into staying here forever, doing whatever they say until they toss you out like a bit of trash. Nasty stuff, those humans._

“Oh,” Jeremy said dumbly, at a loss. He was already getting a headache.

_But I don’t think you’re like that all, Jeremy,_ Gavin continued, giving Jeremy a rather shy look _. As soon as I looked into your soul, I could tell that you would never do anything like that._

“You…looked into my soul?” Jeremy gaped. “No, wait, nevermind. I really don’t want to know.”

_It’s such a good soul, Jeremy. I think even Geoff would be impressed, and he’s seen thousands. It’s very nice and warm, like a pillow straight out of the oven. I want to hold it close forever and ever._ Gavin’s voice was almost dream-like.

“No, see, that was creepy,” Jeremy said, wagging his finger in a reprimanding way. “Humans don’t like when you say stuff like that. Also, please don’t put any of my pillows in the oven, god.”

_Oh, sorry, Jeremy. I’ll try better! I’ll be the least creepy demon you’ve ever seen._

“I guess that’s all I can ask,” Jeremy said.

They lapsed into another silence, as they reached the end of the neighborhood. The cries of the crickets and frogs increased as they pulled around the edges of the local park, now dark and deserted. The fluorescent lights seemed alien and too white against the swaying trees and bushes. One of the lights flickered, and Jeremy shuddered. Usually, he didn’t mind cutting through the park to save some time on the way to Michael and Lindsay’s place, but something about the jarring emptiness of it all had him unsettled. Even at this hour, there was still usually a couple joggers or loiterers, but tonight there wasn’t a single soul around. It was more than a bit creepy.

_Jeremy,_ Gavin said suddenly, as they walked into the park. _That Ryan…how did you fall in love with him, anyway?_

“I could have all the alcohol in the world, and it still wouldn’t be enough for this conversation,” Jeremy muttered.

_I need to know these things so I can help you, and I am very confused so far._

“Of course you’re confused,” Jeremy sighed. “Sure, you’re a love demon, but what do demons know of love?”

Gavin looked back at him with bright eyes. _I’ve been in love before, Jeremy. I think I know enough._

For some reason, Jeremy felt himself flush. “What? Oh, um, sorry- I didn’t know. What, uh, happened with that?”

_I fell._

“You fell….in love?”

_No._ Gavin looked up at the clear night sky. _I fell._

Jeremy followed his gaze, scratching his head. “I see,” he said, not understanding at all.

Just then, Gavin abruptly stopped, almost causing Jeremy to trip over him.

“Woah, there, pal,” he said. “Plan T was a failure, remember?”

_Jeremy. There is something watching us._

Jeremy froze as well, his heart immediately starting to pound. “Something as in a baby squirrel or something as in a blood-thirsty murderer?”

_I don’t know._ Gavin was stiff as a board, his eyes wide with alertness _. I do not think they are friendly._

There was a flash, and suddenly Gavin’s demonic form was floating in front of him, his arms held out protectively.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jeremy hissed. “Someone’s gonna see you!”

“They’re coming,” Gavin said.

A twig snapped, as loud as a gunshot. Jeremy jumped, and fumbled for his phone. With a deafening pop, the lamps above them shot out, plunging them into darkness.

“Who’s there?” Jeremy shouted, cold fear clutching at his chest.

Slowly, carefully, a dark shape stalked forward, each step deliberate and heavy. Jeremy couldn’t quite make it out in the darkness, but as his eyes adjusted, he could see the form of some sort of abnormally large mastiff. He sagged in relief.

“Oh, it’s just a dog,” he sighed.

“Jeremy, that’s not just a dog,” Gavin said. The mastiff opened its mouth, revealing rows upon rows of dagger-like teeth, speckled with froth and blood. “It’s a hellhound.”

The dog’s eyes glowed red like coals. It huffed out a growl, low and dissonant. Its fur was sleek and shiny, and Jeremy could see hard muscles moving underneath the skin. Then, as Gavin turned to fearfully look at Jeremy, it pounced.

Gavin slammed to the ground as the hellhound collided with him full-force. He let out a pained yelp as his head cracked on the cobblestone pathway, and quickly whipped his arms up to push back the hound as it snapped at his throat.

“Shit!” Jeremy spun around frantically, looking for some sort of weapon. Half-buried in the dirt he noticed a sturdy stick, and he dove for it, yanking it free. Gavin cried out again, and Jeremy sprinted forward, brandishing the stick like a club. As the hellhound lunged for Gavin’s throat, Jeremy slammed the branch across its torso.

With a sickening snapping sound, the branch cracked in half, shattering to pieces in his hand. The hellhound, completely unaffected, silently turned to look at Jeremy with its blood-red eyes.

“Ah, shit,” Jeremy said. The hellhound stepped forward, and Jeremy turned and ran.

Immediately, he could feel the pounding of the earth as the hellhound bounded after him, hot on his heels. He dove into the foliage, branches and reaching out and snagging at his clothes and skin. Warm breath blasted against his back.

Jeremy quickened his pace, pushing his body as much as he was able. His lungs began to burn with exertion, and he cursed, regretting every single time he had forgone the gym so he could be a sad lump at home. He heard a snap of a jaw behind him, and he yelped, stumbling on a root. Teeth locked onto the back of his jacket and tugged, hard. Jeremy went crashing backwards into the bushes, and a stick jammed into his thigh, causing pain to shoot up his body. The hellhound stepped over him, and spittle dripped down onto Jeremy’s heaving chest.

_I’m going to die,_ he thought, oddly calm. _Irony is a cold bitch._

As he lay on the ground, staring up at the hellhound’s blazing eyes, his pathetic, last thoughts turned to Ryan: Ryan’s warm eyes crinkling as he laughed, of that small, petulant furrow he’d get between his brows whenever Jack was around, or when things didn’t quite go his way, and of the way he’d fold into himself whenever Jeremy told a particularly stupid joke.

Ryan had always been there for him, time after time, helping him when he was sure there was no hope, without even a word of complaint. But Ryan wasn’t coming this time.  And now Jeremy was going to die, in some random-ass park, before he even had the chance to get rejected. But he didn’t regret not telling him about how he felt- as far as he was concerned, he was fine taking that to his grave. At least he’d die true to himself: a cowardly dumbass. He met the hellhound’s gaze head-on and braced himself.

But the hellhound didn’t lunge at him. Instead, it just stared, its head tilted. As Jeremy gaped at it, it slowly leaned forward and sniffed at Jeremy’s neck. Then, it pulled back, and its head tilted further.

“Jeremy!” Gavin burst through the clearing, eyes wide with desperation. As he barreled into the light, Jeremy felt his heart stutter.

Gavin looked like a monster.

Something large and black was billowing behind him, and it took him a long second for him to realize that they were wings, horned and bat-like as they flapped in the night air. His eyes were completely black, and dark webbed veins spread from them to the rest of his face. His horns had grown taller and sharper, and his hair shone almost silver in the moonlight. In quick succession, he took in the scene in front of him: Jeremy sprawled out in the dirt, and the hellhound standing above him, snuffling quietly.

“Oh, I won’t be having that,” Gavin said, voice devoid of emotion. He stretched out his hands, and they lengthened into dark claws.

The hellhound slowly backed off of Jeremy, a soft whimper escaping it. But Jeremy only had eyes for the dark figure descending from the sky, like some sort of avenging angel.

Gavin surged forward in a snap of energy and slammed his clawed hand into the hellhound’s torso. With a pained yowl, it went flying backwards, and crashed hard into a bush a distance away. It slowly stood up, sniveling.

Then, Gavin began to speak. But the words were strange and backward, like several languages colliding and running over themselves in one discordant mess. The hellhound listened, spellbound. Its head drooped, and as Gavin finished, it turned around and scampered off into the woods.

Jeremy went boneless, his muscles turning to mush as he slumped against a tree. Gavin’s shoulders drooped as well, and he crumpled to the ground, his wings melting off his shoulders.

“Gavin?” Jeremy called out, but he didn’t respond.

Panic jumped in his chest, and Jeremy slowly dragged his way over to Gavin. The demon’s eyes were closed, and his features were slowly reverting back to normal: the dark veins retreating and brown fading back into his golden hair.

“Shit, are you alright?” he asked, and pulled the limp demon into his lap.

Gavin’s eyes sleepily slitted open. The green pupils bloomed back into his dark eyes, and they settled on Jeremy’s face.

“’M fine,” he said, voice half a yawn. “Just not used to using that much of my kit.”

Jeremy sighed in relief. “That’s good. But, fuck, what was that? Is it gone?” He gave a nervous look around them.

“It is,” Gavin said. “They won’t be coming back.”

“What…did you say to it?”

“Nothing too important,” Gavin said, something smug in his tone. “Just the truth.”

Jeremy bit his lip. “There’s been murders happening around here lately. Do you think that was what was causing it?”

Gavin’s head lolled dizzily in his lap. “Nah. Hellhounds are usually just scouts for something else. It was looking for something.”

“Some scout it was- it almost tore your throat out. Well, whatever it was looking for, I hope it’s far away from here,” Jeremy muttered.

Gavin coughed out a wheezy laugh, and Jeremy looked down at him in concern.

“You sure you’re gonna be fine, pal? We need to get you out of here.”

“I’ll be fine.” Gavin’s brows drew together. “But I don’t have enough demon juice to transform right now, Jeremy. Or stand, really. Sorry. I wasn’t…strong enough to protect you. I think there’s something big out there, and I need more power. I can get more, if you- if we…”

“Don’t worry about that,” Jeremy said. “It turned out fine, didn’t it?” He shouldered off his jacket and pulled it around Gavin, lifting up the hood over his head. It snagged on his horns, but fit well enough, even if it did look like he had a weirdly tall head from the back. Then, he dragged himself to his feet, wincing a bit as pain shot up from his thigh, and pulled Gavin into his arms bridal-style.

Gavin blinked owlishly up at him. He was surprisingly light, more so than Jeremy would have guessed, and it was barely an issue for him as he began to walk off. He headed for the shadows, hoping no concerned neighbor would try and investigate. Still, the park remained blessedly abandoned.

Gavin was stiff at first, but as they continued to walk, he relaxed, almost melting into his arms.

“Thank you for saving me tonight,” he said, voice barely distinguishable over the buzz and chatter of the nightlife.

“Eh, I didn’t do that much,” Jeremy said. “Also, I used to do baseball before, little league, when I was like five. So, you know, I’m a pro, basically.”

“Little hero Jeremy,” Gavin said, smiling dreamily. “Tiny Savior J. The smallest of heroes, whose name starts with a J, and is also very little.”

“Alright, alright, enough of that,” Jeremy said, rolling his eyes.

“Jeremy, are you afraid of me now?” Gavin said. His eyes were averted now, but his voice was surprisingly earnest. “That form I used is well ugly, innit?”

Jeremy mulled that question over a bit. He found himself thinking back to what Ryan had said before. Maybe it was true that Gavin was some sort of malicious parasite, and was only acting like this to fool him. But also, maybe he was just some sort of pathetic guy that was lost in an alien world surrounded by people that mostly wanted him dead. Jeremy had never been much of a philosopher, but he always followed his gut, and he knew exactly what side he fell on.

“Yeah, I am,” he finally said.

Gavin’s face crumpled. “I see.”

“But, I’m fucking afraid of a lot of things, you know. One time I pulled my pants down and got scared by my own dick.”

Gavin let out a confused laugh.

“Um, what I’m trying to say is…it’s okay, I guess,” Jeremy continued. “Like, you’re not special. I mean, you are special, but not in that way.” Jeremy shook his head. “Aw, fuck. What am I even saying?”

Jeremy didn’t think it would’ve possible for Gavin’s dark eyes to look warm, but they did now as he looked fondly up at him.

“No, I understand,” Gavin said. “You are a very strange human, Jeremy.”

They stared at each other for a little bit, and Jeremy felt something fluttery build in his stomach. He cleared his throat and turned away.

“You know, I just wanna point out that this only the first full day we’ve been together,” he said, resolutely looking at a tree, instead of Gavin’s adoring gaze.

“And what a great day it’s been!” Gavin gave an infectious grin. “Can we go to the carnival tomorrow?”

Jeremy groaned. “How about we just take the day off? Besides, you can’t exactly bring a cat on a rollercoaster.” As Gavin pouted at him, he let out a lingering sigh. “Well, I guess the rest of the week is up in the air. So, maybe.”

Gavin let out an excited whoop. “I can’t wait!” he cried. He threw his arms enthusiastically around Jeremy’s neck and pulled their heads together, close enough that Jeremy could feel the curve of Gavin’s smile press into his cheek.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said quietly, and for once, he didn’t push Gavin away.


	5. My Demon Can't Possibly Be This Cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it is possible for me to write shorter chapters, I just refuse to do it 90% of the time. Anyway, sorry for the lack of Ryan in this part, but he'll definitely be back (with a vengeance?) next chapter! I hope you enjoy nonetheless <3 This fic has basically become fifty different tropes in a trenchcoat at this point lmao

Jeremy fuzzily blinked out of sleep to the feeling of something heavy weighing down on his chest. Bleary and confused, he squinted up, and immediately met a pair of bright green pupils. Gavin was lying on top of him, his head propped up by his arms as he stared unblinkingly at him.

“Oh! Good morning, Jeremy!” He gave a warm smile.

“Gah!” Jeremy shoved the demon off him and stumbled off the bed, falling to a tangled heap on the floor. Gavin floated over to him, his tail swishing innocently behind him.

Fuck. Not again.

“What the hell are you doing?” he cried, frantically kicking his way out of his sheets. “Please don’t tell me you were watching me sleep the whole night.”

Gavin tilted his head. “Not the whole night. You kept asking for burgers, remember? So I searched the whole house for them, but I didn’t find them anywhere. I’m sorry, Jeremy.”

“I asked for…what?” Jeremy squeezed the bridge of his nose, willing his headache away. “Fuck, I was probably just sleep-talking. You didn’t have to take me seriously.”

“Oh. I see.” Gavin’s brow furrowed. “Does that mean I shouldn’t take anything you said last night seriously? Because you said some interesting things.”

“No, I mean while I was sleeping. Everything I said before that was…” He looked up at Gavin’s earnest gaze, and his words died in his throat as he recalled exactly what he had said last night. He flushed and turned away. “It’s too damn early for this.”

Gavin shrugged and did a few somersaults in the air. “So, what are the plans for today?”

“I have work,” Jeremy said, then groaned. “Ah, fuck. I have work. How the hell am I gonna bring a cat to work?”

“Oh, I can help you work!” Gavin’s eyes blazed. “I’ll be very helpful.”

“Somehow, I sincerely doubt that,” Jeremy sighed. He threw Gavin an irritated look. “Anyway, what are you doing in here? Don’t you remember my rules? Get out of my room.”

Gavin’s face and shoulders drooped as he sadly floated outside the door, turning around so he could pout dramatically at Jeremy.

Jeremy shook his head wearily. “I need to get ready for work,” he said.

“Wait, Jeremy! Take me with you this time. I am very curious about your human anatomy, and-”

Jeremy slammed the door in his face.

Under the scalding spray of the shower, he felt much more like himself. He dragged a hand down his head and leaned against the tiled wall, trying to piece together his scattered thoughts.

Things had changed, he could at least tell that much.

He felt like he should’ve probably been more traumatized from the fact that he had almost gotten his throat ripped out by a bloodthirsty demon, but strangely enough, he’d almost forgotten about it. Instead, he found Gavin’s words from last night to be the thing wriggling their way under his skin.

_I’ve been in love before, Jeremy._

It had been such an off-hand comment - Gavin could have been talking about the weather. But Jeremy couldn’t help but fixate on it, for whatever dumbass reason. Probably because he had never really heard about demons falling in love before, or something along those lines.

Had it been another demon Gavin had been in love with? He tried to imagine what kind of demon Gavin would be interested in, but all his dumb brain could supply was the image of Trevor’s goat hybrid demon. He imagined them holding hands-or hand in hoof- and prancing off into some sort of hell sunset. Then, he groaned and banished the daydream away, turning up the heat of the water.

He really was a fucking idiot.

But even as he finished the shower and toweled off, he still couldn’t quite shake his thoughts away. Did Trevor know about demons that could love? Or was Gavin just weirdly unique? Maybe he should consider selling Gavin off to a tabloid magazine or something. He snorted to himself and picked up his phone, his lips pursed. Then, he shrugged, and quickly pulled up Trevor’s contact. But the phone went straight to voicemail, and he cursed in defeat. When Trevor’s cheerful voice prompted him to leave him a voicemail, Jeremy uttered a simple “Bitch,” and hung up. Well, it wasn’t as if Trevor would’ve given him an answer anyway, or one that even made sense, at least.

He shook all his dumb thoughts away and quickly dressed. When he was decent, he walked out to his kitchen, hoping things hadn’t been left in flames. Thankfully, Gavin was in his living room, sitting alertly on his couch, a plate of slightly less blackened crumbs in his hands.

Jeremy couldn’t help his smile. “You’re improving, huh?”

But Gavin wasn’t listening to him. His attention was focused solely on Jeremy’s television, his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“-body still not identified,” the television was saying. “It was found early this morning just off of Mason’s road, bringing this to the fifth homicide this month of similar manner and timing.”

Jeremy went stiff, and slowly sat down next to Gavin on the couch, his heart in his throat. On the T.V., a blonde reporter looked dutifully at the camera, the backdrop behind her chillingly familiar. It was the road they had walked on last night.

“Authorities have begun to speculate that demon activity may be very much involved. If you suspect anyone of illegal and unlicensed demon activity, please report them to the demon prevention hotline, or to your local Hunter. Those who have registered demons are being asked to sig-”

Jeremy dove for the remote and shut the television off, his heart beating wildly. “Oh my god,” he breathed, horrified. “It was that hellhound, wasn’t it? Fuck, I should’ve called someone, even if it meant I’d be fucked over.”

Gavin stroked his chin, deep in thought. “I don’t think so. But I do think it’s a demon.” He turned to Jeremy and flashed an excited smile. “Seems we have a murder mystery on our hands, dontcha think?”

“Oh, no, no, no.” Jeremy waved his hands back and forth in front of him. “We are not getting involved with this, you hear me?”

“But I love a good mystery, don’t you?” Gavin’s eyes glinted.

“Fuck that. Especially when we could get murdered at any minute, shit. Besides, now they’re probably gonna be all on edge looking for demons.” He buried his head in his hands. “Either I’m gonna get fucked by a demon or fucked for having one. Fun.”

“An ideal situation, really,” Gavin grinned. “I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

Jeremy wearily dragged himself to his feet and plopped himself at his table, pressing his cheek to the cool plastic. He idly entertained the idea of running away to Canada. Gavin followed him over and dropped the plate out in front of him.

“So, Jeremy. I have more plans,” Gavin said, pulling out his notebook. “New and improved - these ones can’t go wrong this time.”

“Oh. Still on this, are we,” Jeremy mumbled. He bet Canada was really nice around this time of year.

“Okay, first plan. I noticed that your Ryan seemed a little bit interested in your shirtless form. So, I propose this: every time you see him, you take your shirt off.”

Jeremy raised an exasperated eyebrow. “You want me to just constantly flash him? How would I even explain that?”

“You wouldn’t even have to explain it, Jeremy! He would already be in love with you.”

“Yeah, that’s totally how it works. More like, he’d say ‘Ah, Jeremy, I regret to inform you that there’s been a death in my- oh, your tits are out.’ And then he’d walk away and never talk to me again.” He wasn’t even sure why he was humoring Gavin at this point.

“No, it would definitely work! Jeremy, you should do it.” Gavin leaned forward, eyes wide with eagerness. “How about you try right now? Bit of practice?”

Jeremy narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You seem way too into this.”

“Do I?” Gavin’s lips curved into a mischievous smile. “I wonder why.”

“Obviously ‘cause you wanna see me make an idiot out of myself,” Jeremy said irritably. “It’s all fun and games to you, huh?”

Gavin blinked rapidly, then broke out into a wheezy laugh. “Jeremy, you’re a right moron, aren’t you?”

“Well, feel free to give up on this moron at any moment,” Jeremy grumbled.

“Sorry, Jeremy. No chance of that!”

As Gavin cheerily turned around to try at toast again, rambling on about yet another plan, Jeremy’s gaze wandered to Gavin’s notebook, which laid unattended on the table. He peeked over at the preoccupied demon, then carefully pulled the notebook over to him and flipped it open.

He almost instantly got a headache; It was filled to the brim with careful rows of notes and lists, all detailing various things he couldn’t possibly get his head to wrap around. It was like he stumbled upon the notebook of a mad scientist. There was an entire page dedicated to dissecting how Jeremy’s electric toothbrush worked, of all things. There was another section analyzing a sunset and another questioning how a ferris wheel ran. It was not what Jeremy would have expected at all. Then, he found a page cluttered with rather detailed questions about dicks, which was what he would have expected. Gavin had written ‘Jeremy’s dick?’ in large letters and circled it multiple times. Jeremy rolled his eyes.

He quickly flipped through it, trying to find what he could understand, and stumbled upon a series of drawings towards the end. One of was of Rimothy, drawn with outlandishly large biceps and rippling pectorals, his hair flowing out behind him as he flexed and made a kissy face. A miniature egg with a beard and angry eyes rolled at his feet. Jeremy silently sighed and turned his attention to the other drawing, one of a shirtless man holding a pool noodle and pouting. A giant ass in the sky was shitting out an impressive turd over his head.

Was it…Ryan? There was something scribbled next to the drawing, the handwriting more messy and unreadable than anything else he’d seen before. As he squinted closer at it, trying to parse it out, a hand suddenly slammed down in front of him, shutting the notebook close.

Gavin leaned into his space, his smile nothing short of dangerous. “Going through my private belongings? That’s a bit rude, innit?”

Jeremy flushed. “Oh. Sorry. I just-sorry.”

Gavin tapped his notebook, and with a flash of dark fire, it disappeared into the ether. He turned around with a petulant huff, arms crossed.

Jeremy stared thoughtfully at the back of his head, idly tracing circles on the table.

“Do you…not like Ryan?” he asked finally.

Gavin’s back went rigid. “Why’d you say that?” he said, voice almost too casual.

“Well, he did spout all that stuff about not liking demons. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t.”

Gavin’s shoulders relaxed. “That doesn’t matter. All that matters is what he feels about you, yeah?”

 _He didn’t say no,_  Jeremy realized, lips pursed. It was strange, but he felt a little disappointed by it.

“Anyway, next plan,” Gavin said. “We’ll need two things: a hotdog costume and a bottle of lube. Now, hear me out, no human alive can resist a lubed up hotdog-”

As Gavin continued to ramble on nonsensically, Jeremy felt his thoughts start to wander again. Sure, Ryan hated demons, but so did he before he met one for himself. Maybe Ryan had only been exposed to the worst kind of demons.

So then, he couldn’t help but wonder: if Ryan met Gavin, could he change his mind on demons, too?

 

* * *

 

 

Adjusting to life with a demon was way easier than it ever had a right to be. For all intents and purposes, Gavin was just like an obnoxious roommate he couldn’t quite get rid of. They went everywhere and did everything together – from cooking and eating meals, to watching dumb youtube videos and playing video games at night. Jeremy actually didn’t find himself minding it too much, for whatever reason. Gavin was insufferable, sure, but it was sort of nice having someone to make dumb jokes with as he slogged through his boring routines. Gavin always seemed to have something to say, whether it was some absurd anecdote about his time in hell, or hypothetical questions that didn’t make the slightest amount of sense. But somehow, Jeremy found himself endlessly amused by everything he had to say, and looked forward to every comment he would make, whether dumb or clever.

It was strange to admit, but Gavin was starting to feel like some sort of friend to him. He had only been with Jeremy for a week, but he had already shifted things completely in ways he never expected. He had never realized before how dull his life was before, how he had always walked with his eyes glued to the ground. But Gavin was always yanking him somewhere new, calling his attention to things he would’ve never thought or cared about before. He would derail entire outings to coo at a wayward bird, or suddenly dart away to collapse in a pile of leaves. And he was always asking questions – his thirst for knowledge about the human world was nothing short of endless. Gavin was someone he couldn’t quite understand—someone that always viewed everything around him with such genuine awe and excitement. Part of him wished he could see the world through his eyes.

Still, not everything was as nice about having to cart a demon around. Taking a cat to work with him was just as obnoxious as he thought it would be, and they had way too many close calls to almost getting caught. To make everything even more dire, the police had set up various checkpoints around the city to help track down any loose demons. They had managed to skirt by most of them, but Jeremy knew it was really only a matter of time before they got caught.

As they were heading home one late afternoon from the university, Gavin suddenly stiffened, his lithe cat form going rigid with alertness. Jeremy slowed to a stop as well, a trickle of apprehension running down his back.

“Everything okay?” he ventured nervously.

 _Something is watching us again, I think,_ Gavin said _. But, it’s strange. Every time I think I sense them, they pull back. Like they’re trying to stay out of my peripherals._

“Oh, shit, is it that hellhound again?” Jeremy cursed. Gavin still wasn’t moving, so Jeremy scooped him up and began to pick up his pace, all but running towards his car.

 _Wait, Jeremy,_  Gavin said, struggling a bit in his arms.  _I think I should go back and confront them._

“Are you joking?” Jeremy said, tightening his grip on the cat. “Remember what happened last time? Besides, think of all those people that ended up dead.”

_Yes. But I am a demon. It doesn’t matter._

“It does matter!” Jeremy shot back. “You can get hurt too – you’re not strong enough. Let’s just get out of here, okay?”

Gavin looked up at him with wide eyes.  _Okay. Let’s go home._

Home. The word stuck uncomfortably in his stomach.

Gavin was silent the whole ride back, his eyes focused on the blurry landscapes shifting outside. He continued not to talk even as they made their way back into Jeremy’s apartment, and instead stayed in his cat form, curling up into a tight ball on his couch.

The silence was smothering as Jeremy got to work cooking dinner. He hadn’t realized how much he had gotten to Gavin’s inane chatter filling up the room. Before Gavin, his place had always been like this: quiet and a little cold. Somehow, he already completely forgotten about that.

He tried to ignore it as he piled pasta on his plate. But Gavin’s pointed silence was like a knife in his side. Eventually, he sighed heavily and gave up, putting his fork down. He plopped down on the couch next to Gavin.

“You, uh…okay there?” he said awkwardly. Almost mindlessly, he reached over and scratched at Gavin’s head.

Gavin’s eyes were open, but they were staring distractedly at the floor.  _You were right, Jeremy. I’m not strong enough. I’ve always been this pathetic._

“Woah, calm down, buddy,” Jeremy said. “Not being able to one-shot demons doesn’t make you pathetic. You’re perfectly fine.”

Gavin nudged up his head against Jeremy’s hand, stilling it.  _Jeremy, if I told you that there was a way you could help me get stronger, would you do it?_

“What? Why would I want that?” Jeremy scoffed.” So you can run after murderers and get yourself killed?”

_So I can protect you. That thing- I think it’s after you._

“After me? You mean the thing that’s killing people?” Jeremy’s heart jumped. “Why the hell would it do that?”

 _What do you mean? Of course it wants you,_  Gavin said, in a matter-of-fact way.

“Right, what am I thinking,” Jeremy said, rolling his eyes. “The whole world centers around me, obviously.”

Gavin stood up and slipped into Jeremy’s lap, curling up into another loose ball.  _Yes, it does._

“And who’s to say it’s not after you?” Jeremy pointed out.

 _It’s not,_  Gavin said simply.  _Jeremy, I need to be ready for when it makes a move. Will you help me?_

“I…uh…”

_If I’m stronger, I’ll be able to take a human form, as well. One perfect enough that no other human can see through it, even if they try._

Jeremy sat up suddenly, his eyebrows shooting up. “What the fuck, why didn’t you say that before? That would make my life so much easier, holy shit. What do we have to do?”

_So you agree? You’ll help me?_

“Yeah, of course! God, if you look human, I’ll be able to do shit again, like travel, or, you know, exist normally without almost getting arrested.” Excitement and relief bubbled up in him. “So, how do you get power? We need to sacrifice goats or something like that?”

_Not quite. Every type of demon siphons power in different ways, but it’s always the most strong from the person that summoned them. For a demon like me, centered in love, I need something along the lines of-_

“We gotta bang,” Jeremy interrupted dryly.

Gavin chuckled.  _Nothing that strenuous. I need intimacy. And the easiest way to get this is through touch._

There was a pop of dark energy, and Jeremy suddenly had a lapful of demon. Jeremy almost jumped out of his skin as Gavin straddled him, his intense eyes searching his expression.

“So, wait,” Jeremy said, putting up a hand. “No wonder you kept touching me- you were sucking my energy away, weren’t you?”

Gavin’s eyebrows drew together pitifully. “No! Jeremy, I would never do that without your say so. I just liked touching you, that’s all.”

“Oh…okay,” Jeremy said, unsure whether to be comforted or unsettled.

“So…can I?” Gavin asked. He held up a hand.

Jeremy bit his lip, his heart already pounding. There was no need to be nervous- it was just Gavin. But his heart still wouldn’t slow.

“Um, sure. Knock yourself out, I guess?”

He braced himself, not entirely sure what the demon was going to do, but Gavin only picked up his hand and threaded their fingers together in a surprisingly innocent fashion. His grip was shockingly cold, and Jeremy jolted a bit. Gavin held their intertwined hands out in front of them and turned them back and forth, as if marveling at it.

“This wasn’t just some sort of dumb pickup line just to hold my hand, was it?” He meant to sound unaffected and witty, but his voice cracked awkwardly.

“No, nothing like that,” Gavin said sluggishly, almost as if he were drunk. His lips parted, and his face flushed. “Do you feel it?”

Jeremy only felt weird, about as weird as one could with a demon sitting on their lap and holding their hand. Why did it have to be so awkward to give his energy? He’d much rather be sacrificing goats.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized he did feel something different- a tingling, or maybe more of a tugging from the center of his chest. It wasn’t really a bad feeling, really. Just kinda different.

“I…think so,” he said cautiously.

Gavin pressed his cheek to their joined hands, his expression nothing short of blissful.

“Jeremy, there’s something about you,” Gavin said lazily, eyes half-lidded. “But I don’t know what it is. I wonder if Geoff would know why every time I’m around you, it feels as if my chest’s gonna burst.”

Jeremy’s mouth went dry. “Oh, you know. I just kinda have that effect on people.”

“Hmm.” Gavin’s eyes slitted close. “That makes sense. I’m sure Ryan feels the same”

He definitely did not. Jeremy at least knew that much.

They sat like that for a bit, Jeremy feeling increasingly more impatient and jittery. He really wished Gavin wasn’t sitting on his lap.

“How uh…how long do we have to do this?” he said, clearing his throat.

“A while,” Gavin murmured, not moving.

“Like…a long while?”

“Mhmm.”

“Like for the rest of the night?”

“Mhmm.”

Gavin seemed perfectly content to just stay like that forever, but Jeremy was one second away from exploding out of his skin. He looked around awkwardly, wondering if it’d be weird if he turned on the television.

“Isn’t there, like, a more efficient way to do this?” Jeremy burst out. “I have shit to do, you know.”

Gavin opened one eye. “There is, but you wouldn’t want to do it.”

“Try me.”

Gavin dropped their hands so he could stare straight at him. “We could kiss. The more intimate the gesture, the stronger the exchange.”

Jeremy almost choked on his spit. “W’huh?” he said intelligently.

Gavin looked away shyly, and his fingers loosened on his hand. “I told you that you wouldn’t want to.”

“I mean, I didn’t say no,” Jeremy amended quickly, chasing after Gavin’s retreating hand. “I was just surprised, that’s all. I don’t mind doing something like that.”

Shock colored Gavin’s expression. “You don’t? Why?”

“Well, it’s a just a kiss, right?” Jeremy shrugged gallantly. “It’ll be better just to be one and done instead of weirdly holding hands forever. I got pasta calling my name, you know.”

Gavin’s brows knitted together. “I thought humans were more particular about these ‘kisses’.”

“Some are, sure, but I don’t really give a shit. It doesn’t mean anything until you make it mean something, right? I’ve kissed plenty of people and it didn’t mean a thing. No big deal.”

A strange expression flickered across Gavin’s face. “If you say so.”

He gave Jeremy an expectant look, and Jeremy realized he was waiting for him to make the first move. Great. Despite all his bravado, Jeremy’s heart was pounding like a jackhammer, and his hands were sweating up a storm. He really did mean what he said, but his body was refusing to believe it. What the hell was even wrong with him? He was acting like an overexcited teenager.

Before he could really think about what a dumb thing he was doing, he cupped Gavin’s cheeks and pulled him in. The kiss was chaste – just a dry press of lips, but Jeremy immediately felt like he was going to implode. All his blood rushed to his head, and he suddenly felt hyperaware of everything around him- the warm press of Gavin’s legs on either side of him, the scratch of his beard against his face, and the smooth slide of his tail as it pulled up the back of his shirt, snaking up towards his neck.

Jeremy broke the kiss, nearly pushing Gavin off of him. “See, that was fine, right?” he said, breathless and semi-hysterical. “It was nothing.”

Gavin licked his lips. For a second, his unnatural eyes flashed with a teasing light. “Jeremy, that was barely anything at all.”

Jeremy flushed. “Right. I knew that. Are we, uh, talking quantity or quality here?”

“Yes.”

“Cool. Cool. I can do that,” he said. “No big deal.”

“Jeremy, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He looked away nervously, and embarrassment flooded through Jeremy.

“No, I want to,” Jeremy said stubbornly. “I was just warming up - It’s all good. Round two, right?”

“Oh, ok then.” Gavin perked up and gave him another expectant look.

Jeremy hesitated, and it was enough time for him to start to overthink things. He had never really thought about it before, but Gavin really wasn’t that bad looking, as far as terrifying demon monstrosities went.  A little gangly, sure, but he had a pretty nice face, and Jeremy was a very shallow person. Even his horrifying eyes, which usually made Jeremy want to shit himself, didn’t look half bad when he was looking up at him through his eyelashes.

Wasn’t it just like a week ago where he would piss if he even heard the word demon? And now he was finding them cute? He needed to sit himself down and give himself an intervention. He doubted Trevor or Ryan had ever made out with one of their summons before. Or maybe they did all the time, and he was the weird one.

He reached forward and cupped Gavin’s cheeks again. Gavin’s eyes snapped to his, flashing with unbound excitement, and Jeremy froze again. Why was he feeling so goddamn nervous? He could barely hear anything over the roar of blood in his ears. Was it because Gavin was a demon? Or was it because it had admittedly been a while since he had really been with someone? Either way, it felt like his entire body was turning to mush. He really wished he had thought to drink something beforehand.

“Jeremy…?” Gavin ventured, voice muffled. Jeremy realized his grip on his face had tightened, so that his cheeks were squished against his mouth.

“Shit, sorry,” he said, relaxing.

No big deal, he reminded himself, and pressed their lips together again.

Gavin had mentioned intimacy before, so Jeremy concentrated on slowing the kiss down. His thumb stroked the side of Gavin’s face, and his other hand slid down to his shoulder. Gavin was cold and a little stiff at first, but gradually warmed up and relaxed under his grip. The kiss was nice, almost comforting, and Jeremy’s frantic heartbeat started to finally slow.

Then, Gavin made some sort of small noise, maybe of frustration, and broke the kiss. While Jeremy blinked in shock at the loss of contact, he felt himself being twisted, his body pressed into the couch. Gavin sat on top of him, his eyes flashing impatiently, his hands splayed across his chest.

“Jeremy, that won’t do,” he said, tilting his head. “Can I show you?”

Jeremy felt his brain short-circuit. “S-sure,” he squeaked. It was as if some sort of switch had been flipped. He had the sudden, distinct feeling that he had gotten way over his head in the best way possible.

Gavin’s smile turned dangerous.

“Like this,” he said.

Any semblance of thought Jeremy might have had was disintegrated as Gavin pressed into him and crushed their lips together. There was nothing slow about this kiss – it was almost frantic in nature, and when Gavin’s tongue prodded at his lips, he eagerly let him in. Jeremy felt Gavin’s hand slide up under his shirt, and he pushed down on the center of his bare chest. The strange tugging sensation increased, almost like it was a broken dam. He felt too hot and too tight, but overwhelmingly  _good_  at the same time.

 _Holy shit,_  he managed to think, as Gavin nipped at his bottom lip.  _If this is what hell is like, then I should’ve sold my soul out a long time ago._

His hands drifted mindlessly to Gavin’s head, and he threaded his fingers through his hair-just as soft as he imagined. Then, he pulled up to run his hand over his horns, marveling over the strange texture. Gavin made another small noise and pulled back, breathing hard. With a shock, Jeremy noticed his eyes were entirely glowing an ethereal green, no black in sight.

“Jeremy, you’re incredible,” he breathed. “No matter how much I pull, you still have more – it’s neverending.”

“Well, you better keep pulling then,” Jeremy said, mind a blurry mess.

Gavin gave a wolfish grin and leaned down again.

They stayed like that for a while, kisses growing more heated as the minutes wore on. Jeremy was pretty sure he had melted into a sweaty puddle at that point, and his brain was beyond any rational thought. He had never been kissed like this before, almost like he was being devoured. It was fucking amazing, and it he was perfectly content to let Gavin take control.

Then, Gavin sighed into his mouth and pulled back. Jeremy blinked his eyes open, blearily trying to piece his thoughts back together. Gavin’s head was tipped up, a drunken smile on his lips.

“I’ve never felt this powerful before,” he said. “I could do anything, Jeremy.”

“Huh?” Jeremy attempted to restart his mind, to no avail.

“If that thing ever shows its face around you, I’m going to pull its spine through its throat,” Gavin said cheerily, his hands tightening into fists.

Gavin stood suddenly, leaving Jeremy cold. Sense snapped back to him, and he sat up. Somewhere along the way, he had completely forgotten that they had been making out for a reason.

“Shit, so can you look human now?” he said, focusing on slowing his frantic heartbeat.

“Yes! Watch this,” Gavin said. He spun in a small circle, and all at once he changed: his horns and tails melting away, his skin losing that reddish touch. He blinked, and his eyes were a normal olive green. Jeremy balked, his mouth open wide. He looked really fucking good.

“Oh, here I am - Mr. Gavin Human Man,” Gavin sang, striking a couple ridiculous poses. “What do you think?”

Jeremy clapped politely. “Yep. That’s a regular human man if I’ve ever seen one.”

“How do I look?” Gavin asked, clasping his hands in front of him as he swayed back and forth. “Am I dashingly handsome? If you saw me in a coffee shop, would you think ‘ah yes! This is an attractive human!’”

“I don’t think a singular normal person has ever thought that sentence before, but sure.”

Gavin skipped over to a mirror and grinned into it, admiring his reflection. “Oh, how strange,” he said, prodding at his eyes. “I look so disturbing, don’t I? Humans are so strange looking.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Jeremy said dryly.

Then, Gavin gasped and looked over at the door. “Jeremy, I could go anywhere, now.”

Before Jeremy could say anything, he darted to the door and threw it open, dashing outside at full speed.

“Oh fuck,” Jeremy cursed. He stumbled to his feet, haphazardly pulling his shirt back down. He quickly slipped his shoes on and ran out after him, nearly tripping several times on his wobbly legs. Gavin had already made it across the street and was enthusiastically shaking the hand of some confused jogger.

“Hello. I am a human, like you!” he said.

Jeremy groaned and slapped a hand to his forehead.

“I see,” the jogger said, looking as if they were a second away from calling the police.

Jeremy yanked Gavin away, throwing the jogger an apologetic look. “He’s not from around here, sorry,” he said as he carted the demon away.

“Jeremy, did you see that?” Gavin enthused. “I talked to another human and they didn’t suspect me at all!”

“Yeah, no. Humans don’t usually tell other humans that they’re human.”

But Gavin wasn’t listening, his eyes wide as he wriggled in Jeremy’s grasp.

“Jeremy, we should go do things,” he said, breaking free of his arms. He grabbed Jeremy’s hands and strode forward again, out into the streets.

 “What things?”

“Anything,” Gavin said, turning back to flash Jeremy an excited smile. “Everything!”

Jeremy stared dumbly at him, limp as Gavin continued to pull him along. The moonlight crested Gavin’s hair like a silver halo, and his eyes, now normal and human, shone with mirth and excitement. And for a minute, Jeremy couldn’t quite remember how to catch his breath.

“Sure,” he said breathlessly. “Whatever you want.”

Gavin laughed and spun them around in a circle. “The carnival! I want the carnival.”

Jeremy just nodded helplessly.

As Gavin pulled them back towards his car, Jeremy’s hand wandered to his lips. They were still burning. His body was a jello-like mess, and he could still almost feel Gavin’s phantom fingertips ghosting across his chest. Gavin’s thumb bumped into his hand as they walked, and his heartbeat stuttered erratically.

Admittedly, he might’ve really fucked things up.

 

 

* * *

 

The neon colors of the carnival bled into the dark night like a bright haze. Gavin bounded forward excitedly, a breathless grin on his face. The smell of fried foods and meted sugar wafted over him as he trudged after the disguised demon, grumbling and pulling his jacket tighter around him. It was already jam-packed with people, all laughing and surging towards the dusty fairgrounds. Jeremy felt a headache creeping on – he really wished he were back home.

Gavin was spinning around in circles like an over-stimulated child, his eyes shining. Immediately, he zeroed in on the ferris wheel and let out a sharp gasp. He darted forward, shoving his way through the crowd. Jeremy cursed and strode after him, grabbing onto the back of his shirt and yanking him backward.

“Woah there, champ,” he said. “We gotta buy tickets first.”

“It’s right there,” Gavin breathed, literal stars in his eyes. “It looks just as amazing as I imagined.”

Jeremy squinted over at the flickering ferris wheel, which was lurching around in slow circles. It was pretty unimpressive.

“Right,” he said, an eyebrow raised.

“Oh, Jeremy,” Gavin sighed, draping his arms around Jeremy’s neck as he tugged them towards the ticket booth. “I am so happy to be here. And I’m perfectly hidden, too! No one suspects a thing.”

Jeremy glanced around them, where a good chunk of the crowd was eying Gavin suspiciously.

“Yeah. Perfectly blended in.”

“Jeremy, your human friends! Will we see them?” Gavin grabbed at Jeremy’s hands.

“Oh, you mean Lindsay and Michael?” Jeremy nervously scanned the faces near them, as if just saying their names would summon them like the devils they were. “I guess we could see them at Ryan’s party.”

Gavin’s eyes went wide. “We’re going to that?”

Jeremy sighed. “Probably, since I’m a fucking idiot. I’m sure it’ll be a disaster.”

“I can’t wait.” Gavin’s grin turned blinding. “Jeremy, I’ve developed another plan to use at that party. It’s foolproof – this one can’t go wrong.”

“You literally say that about every dumbass plan you have, but sure, hit me.”

“One word: Jealousy.” Gavin linked an arm through his and winked dramatically.

“And you’ve lost me. I think you’ve been watching too many rom-coms lately.” He wrested his arm from Gavin’s as he stepped forward to pay for the tickets. Gavin followed after him, pouting.

“Wait, Jeremy. Don’t say no yet,” Gavin whined. “I was thinking about what that Michael had said last week about Ryan, that if he waited too long you would end up in another’s asshole. Well, I’ve graciously decided to offer my asshole, yeah?” He stuck out his ass and made a horrible face. Jeremy blushed as people turned to look at them, and frantically pulled Gavin away.

“What are you even talking about?” he hissed.

“It’s simple, Jeremy. Obviously, you’re not going to be making a move anytime soon. So, we’ll force Ryan’s hand instead. He’ll see you with your beautiful and very human date -me, of course- and he’ll realize what a fool he’s been for ignoring you. It’s perfect!” Gavin tilted his head up proudly.

“That’s so goddamn stupid,” Jeremy said irritably, and Gavin’s face fell.

“Jeremy…”

“There’s like, so many issues with that.” He held up a finger. “Firstly, you forgot that Ryan doesn’t even care about me that way in the first place. If he saw me in a relationship he’d probably congratulate me. Two, even if he did care in some hypothetical situation, he still wouldn’t get jealous about anything- he’s not that kind of guy. And lastly, who the hell would get jealous over something like you?”

With each point, Gavin flinched backwards like Jeremy was physically stabbing him. “Jeremy, you’re being rude.”

“Not rude. Just realistic.”

“You have to trust me here,” Gavin said, a strange expression on his face. “He’ll care.”

“If anything, it’ll be my friends that care more, not him.” Then, Jeremy’s eyes widened with realization. “Wait a sec. Say we hypothetically did have this stupid fake relationship-”

Gavin perked up again. “Yes?”

“Then my shitty friends wouldn’t feel the need to bug me about getting with Ryan anymore,” Jeremy said, mouth widening into a grin. “Holy shit, that would be so much nicer.”

Gavin scratched absently at his beard. “I guess?”

Plus, maybe Ryan would stop looking at him so pained and guilty every time Jeremy slipped up and showed some of his true colors. Maybe this horrendously dumb plan could actually work in his favor, somehow.

“I guess we can give it a shot,” Jeremy decided. “Just try not to be weird about it, okay?”

Gavin brightened and flung himself into Jeremy’s arms. “Of course! I’ll be your perfect human boyfriend!”

“Right.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. This was definitely going to end poorly, but it’d be worth it to see Michael’s bemused face. If anything, maybe he could feel just a little less pathetic around Ryan.

“Well, enough of this,” Gavin said, and yanked Jeremy forward. “Let’s have fun!”

And somehow, Jeremy did have fun.

For the rest of the night, he found himself watching Gavin’s face more than anything else that was going on: how his eyes went wide with shock as he ate cotton candy for the first time, or the way his mouth stretched out into a wild grin as he spun around in the teacups. And the more he would watch him, the tighter his chest would get, and the more confused he would feel.

Gavin dragged him to almost every single ride he could find. They rode on the small rollercoasters, the drop tower, the pendulum ride, and even on a carousel, to Jeremy’s horror and embarrassment. Gavin also felt the need to try out every single game that the carnival offered, to the chagrin of Jeremy’s wallet. As he spent nearly an hour and fifty dollars on one shooting game, just to win one stuffed panda bear that Gavin off-handedly mentioned he liked, he realized it was really hard to say no to the demon.

 _Why am I even going this far?_  He wondered as he handed the stuffed animal over to Gavin. But then Gavin broke out into an ecstatic smile and barreled forward to hug him, and Jeremy’s chest tightened again, and he knew that it had been worth it.

Seeing him look human made everything so surreal, as if they were just two normal people on an outing. _It’s almost like a date,_  he realized, as Gavin clung tightly to him in the rather childish haunted house. It probably didn’t help that Gavin hadn’t really let go of his hand the entire time. He watched as Gavin let out a loud yelp as a very fake spider dropped from the ceiling, a conspicuous string attached to its body.

“You do realize you’re literally from hell, right?” he said, rolling his eyes. “How is this scary?”

Just then, a small cardboard ghost popped out in front of them, and they both screeched in fear, clutching at each other.

“Ah, I take that back,” Jeremy muttered. Gavin turned to look at him, and they both burst out into peals of laughter, so much so that Jeremy’s stomach hurt.

They went for the ferris wheel last. Gavin was nearly vibrating in excitement as they sat down in one of the carriages. With a horrifying chugging noise, the wheel stuttered forward, and Gavin flung himself to the other side, rocking them wildly back and forth. Jeremy clutched at the sides in terror, wishing for a swift death.

They climbed higher and higher, and Gavin leaned out the side as far as he was able, watching the map of lights below them get smaller.

“It’s beautiful,” he said. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Then you haven’t seen much,” Jeremy muttered, feeling a bit ill.

As they slowly crept to the top, Jeremy reached nervously into his bag, pulling out a box.

“I…uh, have something for you,” he said. “It’s nothing much, so don’t get too excited. I just snagged it off the sale rack while you weren’t looking.” He wasn’t even entirely sure where the impulse to buy Gavin a gift had come from, but once he had the idea in his head, he couldn’t quite get it out.

Gavin whirled around, nearly climbing into Jeremy’s lap as he grabbed the box. “A present?” he exclaimed. “What is it?”

“It’s a camera,” Jeremy explained. “A kind of cheap one, though. But, you know, it’ll get the job done.”

Gavin unearthed the camera from the box and stared at it with wide eyes. “Jeremy, this is for me?”

“Well, yeah. You seem so interested in the human world, so I just thought you might wanna keep some of it to yourself-take it with you when you go back to hell or whatever.”

“Oh, it’s perfect,” Gavin grinned, turning the camera around in his hands. “I love it!” He leaned over and kissed Jeremy’s cheek. Jeremy stiffened, all his blood rushing to his face.

 “What should I take pictures of?” Gavin questioned, squinting at the camera.

“Anything you like, I guess,” Jeremy shrugged, his hand mindlessly reaching up to touch his cheek, now slightly warm.

Gavin pursed his lips thoughtfully, then held the camera up and snapped a picture of Jeremy’s face.

“What the fuck?” Jeremy said, blinking away the bright spots in his vision. “What was that for?”

“Because you’re what I like the most, obviously,” Gavin giggled.

Jeremy felt himself flush, and hurriedly turned away to look out the side of the carriage. “Only because you want my soul, right?”

“Of, course, Jeremy! I want your soul more than anything in the world,” Gavin said happily.

“I see.”

Gavin’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned in close. “You’re upset. Why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset,” Jeremy snapped, pushing the demon away from him.

“But you are,” Gavin said pitiably. “Did I do something wrong?”

When Jeremy didn’t respond, Gavin pouted further, and pulled out his camera to snap another picture.

“Shit! If you’re gonna keep doing that, can you at least turn the flash off?” he said crossly, rubbing furiously at his eyes.

“Every face you make is so interesting,” Gavin giggled. “I want to collect all of them.” Gavin took another picture of his face, adding the expression ‘unbridled disgust’ to his collection.

“I didn’t get that so you could take pictures of me,” Jeremy muttered, crossing his arms as Gavin all but shoved the lens up his nostril. “There’s plenty of things more interesting than me to take pictures of.”

Gavin put his camera down so he could give Jeremy a quizzical look. “But you’re the most interesting thing to me,” he said.

“Stop saying stuff like that,” Jeremy grumbled. “You’re only thinking it ‘cause I’m the only person you’re around ever. There’s a whole world out there of people and things better than me, you know.”

Gavin regarded him thoughtfully. “Jeremy, you don’t have much confidence, do you?”

“What?” Jeremy burst out, embarrassed. “This has nothing to do with confidence. What kind of conceited asshole would I be if I thought I was the most interesting thing in the world?”

“It’s not that,” Gavin said. “You refuse to think that I would find you interesting, but isn’t that all about perspective? Is this what you feel about that Ryan?”

“Ryan?” Jeremy blinked. “Look, it's not that I don’t feel confident around him, it’s just that I’m realistic. I’m sure you wouldn’t understand this, but sometimes humans have to be mature and realize that they’re not compatible with someone else. That’s just how life is.”

“Not compatible? Why?”

Jeremy sighed heavily, propping his head up with his hand. “We’re two very different people on two very different paths, that’s all.”

“I don’t understand. How does that matter?”

“Of course you don’t. Look, I really don’t feel like talking about this.”

“Would you say that he is too high up for you to reach?” Gavin said, lips quirked up into an amused smile, as if he were telling some sort of hilarious joke.

“Are you seriously laughing at me? Fuck you,” Jeremy said, cheeks flaming.

Gavin instantly sobered. “Sorry. Was thinking about something else, I promise.”

The ferris wheel stuttered to a stop, leaving them almost near the peak. Jeremy groaned quietly. Gavin plopped down next to him and wriggled his head on his lap, so that he was staring right up at him. Jeremy pointedly looked away.

“Jeremy,” Gavin sang in a weird, high-pitched voice. “Jeremy, look at me.”

Jeremy snuck a glance to see that Gavin had placed the stuffed panda bear in front of his face.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight,” he said through the panda bear. “I’m sorry for making you mad.” He pressed the panda bear to Jeremy’s mouth and made a loud kissing noise.

Jeremy’s irritation whooshed out of him all at once. He sighed. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered.

As Gavin had the stuffed panda perform some sort of weird lap dance on him, he looked out at the clear night. It was pretty peaceful up here; he could see some stars over the cloud of light pollution, and the skyscape seemed to stretch out into infinity. It was a bit cold, but Gavin’s body was a warm weight next to him, so it wasn’t too bothersome.

“I, uh…I’m sorry, too,” he said, before he could think too much about it. “For snapping at you, I mean. I guess I’m just tired about talking about this. God, it must suck to have someone like me for your first summoner – I don’t think any amount of demon antics could fix this mess.” He laughed humorlessly.

“I don’t think that’s true,” Gavin said, eyes hardening with seriousness. “You shouldn’t give up yet, Jeremy. I’ll do anything to get you two together. It’ll work out, and you guys will be happy together, forever and ever…” His voice trailed out awkwardly at the end, and his eyes went wide. Before Jeremy could analyze his expression, Gavin pulled up the panda again, effectively hiding his face.

“You okay there, pal?” Jeremy questioned.

“If…you and Ryan…if you guys…” Gavin said slowly, voice muffled through the stuffed animal.

“If we what?” Jeremy pressed.

The panda slid down, and Gavin’s eyes peered over at him. “If you guys have at it, can I watch?”

“Ugh, really?” Jeremy groaned, sitting back. “You know what, Gav? If you somehow make that miracle happen, I’ll give you front row tickets.”

“That’s good.” Gavin grinned, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

With a rather terrifying screech of metal, the ferris wheel started forward again, thankfully bringing them back towards the ground. Gavin snapped a few more pictures of the ride, then even more of Jeremy’s eyebrow, for whatever reason. Hand in hand, they made their way off the ride and back out towards the parking lot, Gavin trailing just half a step behind him.

Tomorrow would finally be the day of Ryan’s party. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt as if something big were going to happen, something unchangeable. The idea of Ryan and Gavin actually meeting set butterflies in his stomach, but whether it was from excitement or dread, he couldn’t quite tell.

Gavin gasped loudly, and suddenly he was being tugged to the side of the road, where a squirrel was scampering up a tree. He whipped out his new camera to take pictures of it, cooing loudly. Jeremy watched him fondly, that warm feeling in his chest tightening almost painfully.

“How’s the disguise holding up?” he said casually, leaning up against a lamppost. “You aren’t gonna shift back at midnight like Cinderella, are you?”

“Nope!” Gavin said, pouting as the squirrel scrambled out of sight. “I’m all topped up, thanks to you. Won’t need anything for a while.”

“Ah,” Jeremy said, deflating a bit.

Gavin’s eyes snapped to his, and a knowing smile danced on his lips. “Oh? Are you disappointed?”

“What? Me?” Jeremy floundered. “No, no, what the fuck. I was just trying to be a good summoner, Christ.”

“We could do it again, if you want. For fun, this time,” Gavin suggested, eyes half-lidded and teasing.

Jeremy’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, not quite remembering how to talk.

Gavin pulled his camera up and snapped another picture of him. “Ooh, I think this my second favorite expression of yours. Very nice.”

“I don’t…I’m fine,” he finally got out.

“That’s too bad,” Gavin shrugged.

Jeremy just kind of stared blankly at him, white spots dancing in his vision.

“Offer’s always standing,” Gavin continued nonchalantly. “I would love the chance to see my first favorite expression of yours again.” He laughed to himself and walked off back towards the car. Jeremy silently watched him go.

It didn’t mean anything until he made it mean something, he knew that. But as he stumbled over himself to try and catch up with Gavin, even he could tell that somewhere along the way, he had fucked up that logic completely.

 


	6. Oh, the Tangled Shitstorms We Weave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello <3  
> I realize that this is a very Halloween-y chapter, and it's like...August, but...you know...it's fine..........  
> Also feel free to ignore all the pointless references lmao. Admittedly, I'm kinda nervous about this chapter. I hope it isn't too strange ;;

"Now _this_ is a human party.”

Jeremy stared openmouthed at the spectacle in front of him, wondering if he had somehow wandered into an alternate universe.

He had been to Ryan’s mansion more than a few times before, and it was always eerily stately and cold, like something you would see from the fucking Victorian age or something like that: all gothic spires and endless hallways. But the house he saw in front of him was a very modern explosion of color and noise. The entire building was strung up with streamers and fake cobwebs, and giant spotlights pierced the sky above with flashing, colorful lights. Fog poured out of fans and furled across the lawn and into the driveway. And all across the entrance and spilling into the house were hundreds of costumed people milling and laughing and drinking, more people than he was sure Ryan even knew.

“Meg, you absolute madman,” he said, whistling. The music throbbed and pounded, and he could scarcely hear his own voice over it.

“Well, this has been nice and all. ‘Spose we should get going now, yeah?” Gavin piped up. He stood stiffly next to Jeremy, his eyes wide and his hands nervously flipping his camera around.

Jeremy looked balefully over at the anxious demon. After hours of deliberation, he had finally settled on dressing up as Cupid for his Halloween costume. At first, he had been determined to dress up as a black cat, thinking it would be ‘a laugh’, but Jeremy had vetoed it. For some reason, he was sure Lindsay would take one look at him and immediately make the connection, the weirdo that she was. Either way, the cupid costume looked pretty nice on him: short, white slip that revealed a bit too much tan leg, small pink wings, and tan, strappy sandals that wrapped up his calves.

“Why are you all scared now?” Jeremy said, an eyebrow raised. “You literally would not shut up all day about how excited you were.”

“I dunno,” Gavin muttered, playing absently with his golden bow. “There are a lot of humans here. And what if your friends don’t like me?”

Jeremy exhaled, smiling softly. “They won’t - no need to worry,” he said, reaching over to adjust Gavin’s laurel crown. “I’m here with you, okay? It’ll be fun.”

Gavin’s face relaxed, and he leaned into Jeremy’s hand, like he would do as a cat. “That’s true.”

Jeremy flushed and snatched his hand back to his chest. Gavin followed the movement, blinking in surprise.

“Did I… do something wrong?” Gavin asked.

“What? No! Everything’s fine – I’m fine, why do you ask?” Jeremy blurted out idiotically.

“Oh…okay, then.” Gavin scratched his chin quizzically.

Everything was not fine.

After the literal disaster that was the kiss and carnival not-date last night, Gavin had somehow wriggled his way into Jeremy’s bed before he had fallen asleep. And Jeremy, the weak-willed fuck that he was, had somehow let it happen. So that had to be the reason why he had an interesting dream that night. He couldn’t remember much of it, thankfully, just bright eyes in the darkness, mischievous, echoing laughter, and his hands on cold skin. But he had woken up more than a bit sweaty, and even worse, spooning Gavin. After that, he had nearly kicked the poor demon halfway across the room in his haste to get away.

Okay, so maybe he was attracted to Gavin. That was fine, stuff like that happened. Obviously, he was just a sad, desperate person, and Gavin happened to be around him all the time. Proximity based attraction- that’s all it was. He just needed to get over himself.

“We’re still on for the plan tonight, right?” Gavin asked, jolting Jeremy out of his embarrassing thoughts.

“What? Oh, right. The boyfriend thing.” He pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. “Sure, I guess.”

Gavin brightened. “Yay! My lovely boyfriend Jeremy.” He held up his bow and mimed taking a shot. “Your heart is now mine. Schwing.”

Jeremy looked behind him. “Nah. You missed me and hit that dude instead, looks like.” He motioned to a man in a greaser costume that had been looking at Gavin with unabashed interest for the past few minutes.

Gavin’s face wrinkled in disgust, and he ducked behind Jeremy. “I don’t want that.”

“He’s not that bad looking, either,” Jeremy commented. “Look at you, already making a splash in the human world.”

“Of course I am,” Gavin sniffed, not looking sure of himself in the slightest. “I was quite the catch in the demon world as well, I’ll have you know.”

Jeremy glanced at him out of the side of his eye. “Sure you were.”

Gavin pouted. “What, do you not think it’d be true?”

Thankfully, before he had to answer that horrifying trap of a question, the greaser stepped towards them, seemingly having scrapped together some sort of confidence.

“Jeremy! He’s coming over,” Gavin hissed. “Do something.”

“Do what?”

“Anything!”

The greaser stopped in front of Gavin, sweating profusely and face red. “H-”

“Fuck off,” Jeremy said, crossing his arms.

The greaser opened his mouth, then closed it again. Then, he turned around and promptly walked away, muttering something about how the good ones were always taken. Jeremy watched him go, feeling somewhat smug.

“That’s not what I expected, but alright,” Gavin said, laughing a bit. “Thank you, human boyfriend Jeremy.” He looked up at Jeremy through his eyelashes and pulled out one of his heart-tipped arrows, twisting it so that it pressed up against his chest. “As a reward, you can get a free shot.”

Jeremy took the arrow and regarded it thoughtfully, before chucking it into a nearby bush.

“Jeremy!” Gavin cried, diving after the arrow. Jeremy watched him, stalwartly ignoring the fact that his heartbeat was already fluttering erratically.

 _I’m going to die tonight, aren’t I?_ he thought.

Gavin was half-stuck in the bush, and with the way he was angled he was about an inch away from flashing everyone. Someone gave a wolf whistle and Jeremy flushed, stomping forward to yank Gavin out. Everything would’ve been much easier if he was still a cat. As a human, he was too defenseless, and attracted attention way too easily. People were still staring at him, so Jeremy slung an arm around his waist and pulled him in close. Gavin made a noise of surprise and gave him a wide-eyed look, but Jeremy embarrassedly avoided his gaze.

“C’mon, let’s just go around inside already,” Jeremy said impatiently. “We should meet up with everyone.” He looked down his phone, which was already lit up with texts. Matt had sent him a number of incomprehensible messages – he was probably already drunk – and Michael had sent him a number of incomprehensible bitmojis – he definitely was not drunk.

He sighed and pulled a still whining Gavin forward across the lawn, shoving past groups of loitering people and piles of carved pumpkins. The music pulsed louder as they approached the entrance, almost piercing through his skull.

A bull of a man loomed over the entryway, his beady eyes coolly regarding the mob as they pushed towards him, complaining and waving their arms about. Jeremy gulped as he approached.

“Invitation,” the man stated, holding out a beefy hand.

Jeremy’s stomach dropped as he thought about the shreds in the bottom of his wastebasket – all that remained of his glittery invitation. For some reason, he had thought that he’d be able to work around it.

“I, uh…I don’t…”

“Then leave.” The man waved him away.

“Wait! I’m Ryan’s friend, and I-”

“You and everyone else here,” the bodyguard huffed, motioning towards the line of rejected partygoers, currently being toted away.

“No need to worry. He’s with me,” a voice announced.

The crowd parted like the red sea as a woman strode towards them, her head tilted up proudly.

Jeremy snorted as he recognized her. “Why, if it isn’t the woman of the hour. How’s it going, Meg?”

Meg flashed him a brilliant smile. She looked stunning as usual: black Victorian dress, hair curled up in some sort of fancy updo, and fake blood dripping from her lips and down her front. She gave the bodyguard a tap on the shoulder, and he begrudgingly waddled to the side and opened the door.

“It’s all good, of course,” she said as she pushed him forward. Gavin, wide-eyed, jogged behind them. “What do you think?”

It was absolute chaos.

Ryan’s massive foyer, usually cold and intimidating with its arching ceilings, was packed with people. Its long walls, decorated with lifeless paintings and intricate sconces, danced with deep purple lights and silhouettes of ghosts. There were all sorts of Halloween decorations cluttered everywhere: swaying neon skeletons and large, twitching spiders sat along the room, and hundreds of lanterns and fake candles hung from the rafters. A DJ set up with massive speakers blasted music in front of a screaming crowd, and a bubbling cauldron blew out a fine layer of mist across the room.

“It’s fucking incredible,” Jeremy said, breathing in the chaotic atmosphere. “You really went all out.”

“Yeah, Ryan didn’t really give me a limit,” she laughed. “His mistake.”

“What does he think about this?” Jeremy asked, stumbling back as a man in taco costume shoved into him. “This is a lot of fucking people.”

“Eh. He’s fine.” Meg waved her hand flippantly. “Set him up with a diet coke fountain and a donut buffet and he was good to go.”

Jeremy laughed. “Something tells me that won’t hold him over when he has to clean up all this shit tomorrow.”

“I’ve got it covered.” She winked and slung an arm around him. “But make sure you try and spend some time with him tonight, okay? He may or may not have a surprise of sorts planned for you.”

“That’s kinda horrifying. But sure, I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Trust me, you’ll love it,” she giggled. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go wrangle up some security guards. And try not to get drunk and wander off into woods or something, okay? I heard about what happened to you from Michael. It’s a dangerous world out there, cowboy.” She gave his costume a once over, an eyebrow raised, then walked back off into the night. Jeremy blushed and pulled his hat lower around his ears.

“Your friends all seem to be a bit protective of you,” Gavin commented. “Is that normal for humans?”

“Ugh, you noticed?” Jeremy grimaced. “Guy has a few close encounters a couple times and suddenly he’s no better than a toddler with a knife.”

“Close encounters?”

“Yeah, might’ve almost died a few times,” Jeremy shrugged. “You know, it happens. I’ve always had bad luck.”

Gavin gave him a searching look. “Bad luck, huh?” he said thoughtfully.

Jeremy shrugged again and squinted at his phone, attempting to decode Matt’s gibberish. Next to him, Gavin had thoughtlessly threaded their hands together, his head darting around wildly as he took in their surroundings.

“This is just like the parties Geoff would always tell me about,” Gavin said, an awed smile dancing on his lips.

“Who’s Geoff?” Jeremy asked. “You’ve mentioned him a couple times before, I think.” He gave up on deciphering the text messages and started to push his way towards the drinks on a hunch. Maybe talking about this sort of thing in public wasn’t the smartest idea, but the room was so loud and disordered that they might’ve as well been in their own world.

Gavin brightened. “Oh! He’s my friend. Taught me everything I know about being a demon and whatnot. He’s super strong too – humans were practically lining up to suck him off.  He was always coming back and forth from here and hell with tons of souls shoved up in him.”

“Sounds like a…well-up guy.” Jeremy fervently hoped he would never meet him.

“He is,” Gavin grinned. “Well, most of the time. He always told me I’d never get summoned, but look at me now.” His chest puffed out proudly.

 _Yeah, and that was totally not done on accident_ , Jeremy thought dryly.

“But it was a bit strange,” Gavin continued, lips pursed. “A few years back he got summoned and he hasn’t been back since. He’d never been in the human world that long before. I suppose he got his nob stuck in a hole somewhere or something.”

Jeremy looked over at Gavin’s serious face, then down at their joined hands. “Were you two, uh…” He trailed off, chickening out.

“Hmm?” Gavin turned to him. “I can’t hear you over the music.”

“Nevermind,” Jeremy muttered.

They skirted past the crowded dancefloor, Jeremy tugging an entranced Gavin away from the swaying bodies. Ryan’s kitchen had been converted to some sort of bar, manned by a couple harried bartenders, so he headed over there. In the middle of the floor, bobbing in awkward circles, was Matt, dressed up as a pokemon trainer and more than a bit red.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Jeremy said.

Matt caught his eye and broke out into an infectious grin. “Jeremy! There you are!” he slurred. He barreled over to him and all but slumped in his arms.

“Matt, how the hell did you get drunk so fast?” Jeremy said, pushing his boneless friend upright. “Did Jack bully you into it?”

“I definitely did not,” an offended voice called out. Jeremy turned to see Jack, arms crossed, and wearing the costume of some sort of werewolf in a varsity jacket. He tossed a basketball back and forth between his hands.

“I mean, he kinda did,” Michael chipped in. He was standing next to who Jeremy assumed was Lindsay, but he couldn’t entirely tell, considering they were both wearing rather horrendous wigs accompanying their baffling costumes.

“What the actual fuck are you two supposed to be?” Jeremy said, face wrinkling in disgust.

“Miaka and Tamahome, you uncultured bitch,” Lindsay said, pouting. “Watch an anime for once in your life.”

“I would actually rather die, but thanks.”

“Yeah? We’re getting shade from fucking McCree over here?” Michael accused, an eyebrow raised as he looked at Jeremy.

Jeremy flushed. “I’m John Marston. You know, Red Dead?” He pointed at his rather pathetically painted scars and tipped his cowboy hat.

“Doesn’t he have like, hair?”

“Fuck you. Am I only supposed to dress up as bald people for the rest of my life?”

“I didn’t say that,” Michael said innocently, twirling the braid from his wig.

Lindsay crept forward and picked up the back of his duster. "No ass-less chaps? Then what's the point?"

Jeremy whacked her hand away. "Lindsay, please," he groaned, exasperated.

“Anyway, it’s nice of you to finally grace us with your presence. You trying to be fashionably late or something?” Michael said.

“Nah, just got caught up in traffic. Didn’t really expect something like this.” He motioned to the chaos around them.

“I don’t think anyone did,” Jack chuckled. He wrapped Jeremy up in a warm, scratchy embrace. “But it’s good to see you again. Haven’t spotted you around campus at all lately.”

“Ah, yeah, sorry about that,” Jeremy mumbled in Jack’s chest. “Been busy.”

Jack released him, and Matt stumbled in to slung an arm around his shoulder. “Even too busy for me? Not even a text, man!”

“Uh…really busy.”

“’S okay. I still love you.”

As Matt flumped into his arms again, Michael’s eyes narrowed, focused on something to the right of Jeremy.

“You need something? Or are you just gonna keep staring all day?” he said.

Gavin was standing stiffly behind Jeremy, his hand still outstretched from where Jeremy had dropped it, and his expression similar to a deer in the headlights.

Shit. He had completely forgotten about him.

“Oh, no, he’s with me,” Jeremy said, putting a comforting hand on the demon’s shoulder. “This is Gavin.”

Gavin said nothing, still completely frozen. He looked ready to bolt at any moment.

“Hi, Gavin,” Lindsay said, giving an encouraging smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Gavin’s shoulders relaxed a bit. “Hello,” he said shyly.

“You’re Jeremy’s friend?” Jack said gently, as if speaking to a spooked child.

“Boyfriend,” Gavin blurted out. “I’m his boyfriend.” He reached forward and gripped Jeremy’s hand almost painfully.

A silence fell over the group, and Jeremy tried not to feel too triumphant over the surprise that colored their faces. Even Matt seemed to sober up abruptly.

“Come again?” Lindsay said slowly.

“Yeah, we’re together,” Jeremy said casually. “Nothing wrong with bringing a plus one.”

Lindsay and Michael exchanged a significant look.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Jack said, looking a little confused. “How long have you two been together?”

“Not that long, but it feels like forever - doesn’t it, love?” Gavin said, seemingly having shaken off some of his fear. He booped Jeremy’s nose.

“Yeah. Almost too long,” Jeremy muttered, going a bit cross-eyed.

“Did you fucking import him or what?” Michael said, his watchful eyes analyzing Gavin carefully. “Where did this even come from?”

“Look, I like him a lot, okay?” Jeremy said irritably. Gavin turned to look at him in shock. “Maybe it seems out of nowhere, but he’s what’s most important to me right now.” Jeremy crossed his arms and stared at Michael challengingly. Michael glared back for a few seconds, then leaned back and rolled his eyes in frustration.

“Well, I hope you treat him well, _Gavin_ ,” he said. “He’s a fucking fickle idiot, I hope you know that. I don’t know how guys look like in England, but don’t feel like you have to settle.”

“I know!” Gavin said, looking at Jeremy adoringly.

“You’re not supposed to agree with him,” Jeremy sighed.

“Oh! Sorry. Should I have lied instead?”

Michael’s lips quirked up into a reluctant smile. “At least he knows how things are.” Lindsay put her hand on his shoulder and gave him another pointed look. Michael shrugged in response.

“So how did you two meet?” Jack asked curiously.

“Uh, I’ll hand that one over to you, Gav,” Jeremy said, backing up. “I should go get some food before it’s all gone.”

Before anyone could protest, he turned away and fled into the crowd, leaving Gavin in the literal jaws of a beast. Like hell he was gonna stick around to see that dumpster fire happen.

“So there Jeremy was, naked and covered in cat feces, and I immediately knew he was the one-” Gavin’s voice trailed off after him. Jeremy quickened his pace. Somehow, he was sure Gavin would be fine.

The buffet of food was no less crowded than the rest of the room, and Jeremy raised his eyebrow at all the Halloween themed food. As he dubiously inspected a pumpkin themed deviled egg, a familiar laugh reached his ears, and his heart immediately jumped. It was Ryan, standing in the middle of an adoring crowd. He was wearing a ridiculously expensive-looking three-piece suit, and it fit him perfectly. Jeremy inhaled sharply, almost choking on the egg. Fuck him.

He looked around nervously, as if him thinking about Ryan would have summoned Gavin, but he didn’t see any familiar heads. Then, wasn’t this his chance to talk to Ryan without Gavin fucking everything over? He peeked back over at Ryan. There was a friendly smile on his face as he chatted with his admirers, but his eyes kept wandering back over to a platter of donuts. Jeremy snorted.

He sidled over to the donuts and snatched one up. Then, he caught Ryan’s eye and gave a small salute. Ryan’s eyes went wide, sparkling like a little kid’s, and Jeremy could practically see him drooling from there. He hurriedly excused himself and strode over to him. Before Jeremy could blink, he felt himself being carted away, Ryan’s warm hand on his back.

“Woah there, partner,” Jeremy said. Suddenly, he was being spun around, and Ryan was embracing him tightly. Jeremy felt every single nerve in his body short-circuit.

“Jeremy! You made it,” Ryan breathed. He pulled back to give him a warm smile. “I am so glad you’re here.”

“You really that excited about this donut?” Jeremy said, trying to restart his poor heart.

“Oh.” Ryan blushed as he looked down at the donut, now slightly crumpled between them. “That too.” He took it and popped it happily in his mouth.

“So, this is all really something, huh?” Jeremy said, stepping back from Ryan as casually as he was able. He was way too close, close enough that he could smell his nice cologne, and his hand was still tight on his shoulder.

Ryan laughed. “Yeah, it really is. Probably not the smartest idea giving Meg free reign, but she’s happy, so I suppose it’s okay.”

“But no costume, though?” Jeremy said, mindlessly reaching up to adjust Ryan’s tie. His eyes closely followed the movement in a way that made Jeremy’s mouth dry.

“Wasn’t aware it was that sort of party,” Ryan shrugged. Then, he leaned in a bit to look at Jeremy up and down. “I like yours though. Romantic old west – it suits you.” His eyes shone appreciatively, and Jeremy was pretty sure he was a second away from scattering into ash.

“Oh, you know, yeehaw and snakes in your boots and all that jazz.” He formed a gun with his hands and mimed shooting with little ‘pew’ noises.

“I don’t suppose you got those scars from falling over in a church,” Ryan said, smirking.

Jeremy laughed. “Ain’t that the truth? Howdy, howdy.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and pulled Jeremy towards the stairs. “Anyway, I’m not sure if you remembered, but there was something I wanted to ask you tonight. I was hoping we could go somewhere private for that.”

“Oh, right,” Jeremy realized. He sent a nervous look up Ryan’s spiraling staircase. “I’m not sure if-”

“Jeremy, love! There you are!”

Jeremy froze in place as Gavin suddenly burst out of the crowd in all his cupid-like glory, his arms thrown up dramatically and a huge grin on his face.

 _Oh god, here we go,_ Jeremy thought, and then Gavin was hanging off his arm, staring thoughtfully at a perplexed Ryan.

“You left me by myself and tried to run off with someone else? Very suspicious of you, Jeremy,” he said.

Jeremy immediately felt a headache form. This was going to be a mess, that much was certain.

Ryan’s brows furrowed. “Ah, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to pull him away from you, uh…?”

“My name is Gavin,” he said, eyes sparkling with a rather worrying amount of mischief. “And you must be Ryan, yeah? I’ve heard so much about you from Jeremy here.”

“Yes, that is me,” Ryan said, a bit awkwardly. “Do I…?”

“As Jeremy’s boyfriend, I really wanted to get to know all of his friends here tonight, you know?” Gavin said innocently.

Well, there was the not-so-subtle shoe drop. Jeremy couldn’t help his unabashed curiosity as he turned to watch Ryan. Ryan’s confusion and awkwardness smoothed out, replaced with something like distant politeness. He gave a small smile.

“Ah, I understand now,” he said with a chuckle. “I didn’t realize you two were in a relationship. I must not be a very good friend if Jeremy didn’t tell me about you.”

The tone was far from accusing, but Jeremy still felt a sting. “I’ve, uh…been meaning to get around to it,” he mumbled half-heartedly.

“No need to worry; It doesn’t matter,” Ryan said cheerily. Jeremy flinched. “It’s good to meet you, Gavin.”

He held out his hand and Gavin took it. Jeremy stared at their joined hands in horror, as if them touching would invite the heavens to rain down on them, or the earth to split in two. But nothing happened. They shook hands and pulled apart, and that was it. Still, there was something really surreal about the moment, and it wasn’t just because there was a man in a dick costume doing the thriller dance about five feet away from them.

“Well, I don’t want to get in the way of you two,” Ryan said, making a move as if to leave. “I should get going-”

“Oh, nonsense!” Gavin said, latching onto his arm. “Let’s get to know each other – the night is still so young.”

Before Ryan could say anything, Gavin towed him away, yanking him towards the back of the room. Jeremy anxiously jogged after the two of them, dread building in his gut. Hadn’t Gavin already done what he wanted? What was he planning now?

Gavin located a couch shoved up against the wall and plopped the both of them down on it. Ryan’s eyes were a bit wide, and Jeremy couldn’t help his snort. Gavin was definitely something that was hard to get used to.

Gavin patted the seat next to him, and Jeremy reluctantly sat. He gave the demon an agitated look, but he just got a sly smile in return.

“So, Ryan,” Gavin started, leaning far too close into the other man’s space. “I’ve heard you’re a summoner, right? Must be scary being up and personal with all those demons.”

“There’s nothing scary about it,” Ryan said smoothly. “As long as you know what you’re doing and have your wits about you.”

“Hmm, yes, very true,” Gavin agreed. “Demons can be quite crafty, sometimes. You never know when they might have a leg up on you.”

 _Well, aren’t you a smartass_ , Jeremy thought, rolling his eyes. He was practically inviting himself to get stabbed at this point.

“Such a thing has never happened to me,” Ryan said flippantly. “Was this all you wanted to know? I really-”

“You’re something of a small-time celebrity, aren’t you?” Gavin cut him off. “I’ve heard so much about what you’ve done, and all the places you’ve seen. You’re something really amazing. Where does all that talent fit in you?” He gave Ryan’s body a lengthy once-over, and Jeremy felt himself flush.

“Perhaps it’s hereditary,” Ryan said, raising an unaffected eyebrow.

“But I suppose I’m a little curious,” Gavin continued. “You have so much potential to do great things and see amazing places, and yet, you’re settled here, in this small, unimportant town. Why? Did something here catch your eye and convince you to stay?”

“I really liked how the local kolaches tasted,” Ryan said calmly. “You should try one – they’re truly divine.”

Gavin’s smile twitched in irritation. “And what about my Jeremy here? Strange for two very different people to be so close.”

“I would have to disagree with you on that,” Ryan said. “Something like that holds no bearing in friendship.”

“Very quaint. So how did you two even become friends?”

“Jack introduced us when I was in town for a conference. We realized we liked the same video games and chatted about that. You do realize how friendship works, correct?” Ryan’s welcoming smile was starting to remind Jeremy of the ones he would give to particularly obnoxious customers when he worked in fast food.

“I’m very aware,” Gavin said. “But perhaps I’m more acquainted with relationships other than that.”

There was something dangerous in Gavin’s expression now, as if Ryan was answering every single one of his questions incorrectly, but Jeremy hadn’t the slightest idea what he did want from the man. It was somewhat engrossing to watch, though, like seeing a volley between two expert players from a game he didn’t quite know the rules to. He kind of wanted peanuts.

“That’s quite sad,” Ryan countered, still smiling that sickly sweet smile. “Friendships can be quite fulfilling.”

“Oh? Are you offering?”

“Ah, I’m afraid not. Perhaps you would find more success with someone more similar to yourself, if that’s the sort of thing you believe in.”

“You’re probably right. But I’m very satisfied with what I have with Jeremy now.” He leaned back into Jeremy’s space.

“I’m happy you can find pleasure in the small things.”

“Woah there,” Jeremy said, giving Ryan an exasperated look. “That’s a low blow.” But Ryan didn’t even turn his way, his attention still solely focused on the disguised demon in front of him.

“And what of your love life?” Gavin pressed. “I find it hard to believe someone as _interesting_ as you could be single.”

“How flattering,” Ryan said, not sounding flattered at all. “I suppose you could say I’m married to my job.”

“I see. What a sad, lonely life you must lead.”

“And you must lead a very misguided, judgmental life if you believe that to be true.”

Jeremy winced. So much for the two of them understanding each other. Gavin seemed to just be purposefully antagonizing Ryan, rather than sticking to whatever plan he had before. And Ryan, who had never been a particularly level-headed person, was easily rising up to meet him.

“You know, you two actually have a lot in common with each other,” Jeremy tried, but he might as well have been talking to a wall with how little Ryan and Gavin reacted.

“But really? There isn’t a single person you would be interested in?” Gavin leaned back further, curling up against Jeremy, pressing his cheek to his arm. “No one at all? Someone that say, you feel yourself hopelessly drawn to? Almost like they have something about them that pulls you in, that you can’t quite leave alone, no matter how hard you try?”

Ryan’s polite expression didn’t change, but the atmosphere suddenly shifted, becoming almost icy cold in quality. “I’m sorry, but I’ve never experienced such a thing,” he said slowly, dangerously.

“Hmm. That’s too bad.” Gavin grinned triumphantly. “If you ever do find someone like that, I’d recommend you hold onto them. Never know what nasty thing might swoop in and snatch them up.”

Jeremy swallowed heavily. It was almost as if Gavin had won a set in the game, like Ryan had faltered in one of his steps.

Somewhere during the ‘argument’, their faces had gotten pretty close together. Ryan was staring intensely at Gavin now, something searching in his gaze. Jeremy’s breath caught in his throat. Ryan’s stare was so powerful that even though it wasn’t directed at him, he felt himself wither under its intensity. Ryan was the one leaning into Gavin’s space now, but Gavin didn’t so much as flinch, his eyes half-lidded with challenge.

His stomach twisted strangely, and the hand that had been reaching forward to pull at Gavin’s shoulder dropped to his lap. He felt strangely out of place and embarrassed suddenly, like he was watching something he had no right to.

Ryan was still staring Gavin down, but Gavin just continued to smile serenely. After a while, Ryan dropped his stare and nodded to himself, as if Gavin had passed some sort of silent test.

“And what of you?” Ryan said, starting up the volley again. “How did you meet Jeremy?”

“Oh? You want to know about us?” Gavin fluttered his eyelashes dramatically. “I suppose I could tell you. I’m a photographer, you know, and I met Jeremy after he so graciously offered to be my nude model.”

Jeremy inhaled sharply, choking on his own spit. Gavin absently patted his back.

Ryan blinked rapidly, his cheeks turning pink. “Ah. I see. I didn’t realize that you did that sort of thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just…”

“Oh, no, no,” Jeremy floundered, waving his hands out in front of him. “It’s not…I don’t usually do that, it was just a special thing for Gavin.” He cursed. Gavin raised an amused eyebrow. “That’s not what I meant. He’s not special, I just…I mean, if you asked, I would do it for you, too.” Jeremy groaned and put his head in his hands. “I’m gonna stop talking now.”

Ryan had gone completely red, and Jeremy was incapacitated. Gavin had won again, but against both of them this time – a double knockout. It was sort of impressive.

Ryan cleared his throat and stood up abruptly, adjusting his shirt collar. “I should…really get going now. This is my party after all.”

“Oh,” Jeremy said, deflating. “But what about that thing you wanted to ask me?”

Ryan’s gaze dropped from his, and for a moment so brief that Jeremy was sure he’d imagined it, his smile turned bittersweet. “Something like that doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t worry about it, okay?” Then, his normal smile returned, and he patted Jeremy on the shoulder. “I hope you two have a good time. I’m happy for you, really.” The warmth in his eyes was nothing short of genuine.

Jeremy recoiled back, feeling as if he had just been punched in the stomach.

Ryan turned away, but Gavin grabbed his wrist, stopping him. “It was nice seeing you again, lovely Ryan,” he said, voice teasing and light.

Ryan’s brow furrowed. For a minute, he just stared at Gavin, multiple emotions flickering across his face, too quickly for Jeremy to read.

“Have we…?” he started, carefully. Gavin smiled wider, and he shook himself. “Ah…yes. I’ll see you around.” Then, he turned and left, disappearing into the crowd.

As soon as he left, Gavin let out a victorious whoop. He turned to Jeremy excitedly. “Oh my god, that was amazing! Did you see how mad he got? I’m gonna die laughing, this was the best idea.” He did laugh, almost curling in on himself as he wheezed.

“I’m done,” Jeremy said quietly.

“So now we just need to amp it up a notch, and this time, he won’t even be able to act all cheeky like that. Let’s try-”

“I said I’m done,” Jeremy said, louder.

Gavin's eyes rounded out in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Did you even hear how little he cared? This turned out exactly how I said it would – he even said he was happy for me. There’s no point in going on with this.”

Gavin tilted his head. “Jeremy, I think you’re misunderstanding things.”

“Am I?” Jeremy burst out. “Funny how everyone’s such a fucking expert on Ryan except for me.” He sighed heavily and pulled off his hat. “Look, I’m just done with all of this. And I’m tired of listening to you act like it’s all a joke.”

“But Jeremy…”

“Can you just go get a drink or something?” Jeremy said, looking away. “I want to be alone.”

Gavin’s face crumpled. “Oh, ok. If that’s what you want.” He sent Jeremy one last hurt look before pulling off into the dancefloor.

Fuck. Why was he so upset anyway? _I’m happy for you_ – what a genuinely nice thing to say. He hated it. Had part of him actually been expecting something different?

He looked up and noticed with a shock that Matt was staring at him from the side of the room, a drink in his hand and his eyebrows up. Shit. How much had he seen? Jeremy stood and all but bolted away, but he only made it about halfway across the dance floor before he felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back.

“What are you doing?” Matt asked, half-shouting over the pulsing music.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeremy said glibly, tearing his shoulder out of his grip.

Matt jogged up next to him. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, man. Last time I saw you, you were still mooning over Ryan.”

“Yeah, and now I’ve gotten over him. It happens.”

“Are you seriously gonna act like this? With me?” Matt gave him a hurt look, and Jeremy immediately felt guilty.

“Matt, it’s not as weird as it looks, really. It’s casual.”

“The way that guy was looking at you wasn’t casual.” Matt gave him a significant look. “You shoulda heard the way he was talking about you earlier, too.”

“Oh? Has Love Guru Matt returned?”

Matt gave a heavy sigh. “And what about Ryan?”

Jeremy’s heart skipped a beat. “What _about_ Ryan?”

“God,” Matt groaned. He lifted up his hat and pulled a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m not gonna judge you or whatever if you wanna do this. But you gotta know that someone’s gonna get hurt from everything. I just don’t want it to be you.”

Jeremy gave a short, humorless laugh. “Matt, I’ve been hurting. It’s better this way.”

Matt stopped dead in his tracks, his mouth dropping open. “Shit, man. I don’t…”

Jeremy waved a hand in front of him. “It’s fine. Worry about yourself for a change, alright?”

With Matt left gaping behind him, he reentered the crowd, feeling like absolute shit.

Well, everything had rather quickly gone downhill. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised.

The walls of Ryan’s fancy foyer felt like they were closing in on him suddenly, and the crowd of dancing bodies around him was smothering. He really did need to be alone for a bit – he desperately needed to catch his breath and sort his thoughts back together. As he looked around for an unoccupied bathroom, he instead located one of Ryan’s guest bedrooms, untouched behind one of Meg’s makeshift gates.

Perfect.

He snatched up a rather large plate of wings and sweets and retreated to the room. Thankfully, it was blessedly empty, and he shut the door behind him with a sigh of relief.

The loud music and noise cut off, and Jeremy finally felt like he could breathe again. He flumped down on the fancy four-poster bed, dropping his plate of food on the nightstand next to him. Groaning to himself, he stuffed three different donuts in his mouth and stared blankly up at the ceiling. His pounding headache finally started to fade.

Fuck, what a mess. He supposed he deserved this after deciding to go along with such a dumb plan in the first place. It had ended exactly how he knew it would – good guy Ryan basically congratulating him. And throwing off his friends hadn’t been as fun as he thought it would’ve been either - he tried not to think about how hurt Matt looked as he left him behind.

And there was something else bothering him, though it was more embarrassing to consider. Ryan and Gavin’s conversation kept playing over and over in his head. They had definitely not got along at all, that was pretty easy to see. But somehow, he felt as if there was something beyond that, almost as if they had kinda enjoyed it, as weird as that sounded. In a strange way, they kinda complimented each other – both strangely beautiful people with strangely working minds. Jeremy had barely been able to keep up as they rallied back and forth. He slammed a pillow over his face and exhaled loudly, banishing all of his idiotic thoughts away. He was definitely overthinking things. He was at a damn party, for God’s sake – he needed to chill.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and Gavin barreled in, carrying a tray of some sort. Jeremy’s headache instantly returned.

“There you are,” he said. “I wasn’t sure what drink to get you, so I brought all of them.” He lifted up the tray to reveal that it was cluttered with all sorts of colorful Halloween drinks, all balanced precariously.

Jeremy felt a smile creep on his face against his will. “You didn’t have to go that far.”

“But I did,” Gavin said. Then, as he stepped triumphantly towards Jeremy, he tripped over the edge of the carpet, sending drinks flying everywhere. Jeremy yelped and shot forward, catching Gavin mid-air before he toppled over. A flask full of neon green liquid whacked him on the head and splashed all over his face. Jeremy sputtered as the acrid stench of alcohol filled the room.

“Oh. I’ve ruined everything again,” Gavin said quietly from his arms.

“What? No, it’s fine,” Jeremy placated. He maneuvered Gavin into a sitting position and kicked a couple cups under the bed. “See? All fine.”

But Gavin was silent, and even as Jeremy left to bring back a pile of damp paper towels, he still remained quiet. Jeremy got to work sopping up the mess, and Gavin played with the edges of his tunic.

“Jeremy, what can I do to get the two of you together?” he said after a while. “I think I’m a failure of a love demon.”

Jeremy paused in his cleaning. “I think it’s a lost cause, buddy.”

“It’s not though!” Gavin said, brows knitted together in determination. “I know it’s possible. I just don’t get why you don’t want it too. Why are you hurting, Jeremy? I don’t understand.”

“What’s there to not understand?” Jeremy said, going back to furiously wiping at the floor.

“Jeremy, can you please tell me? Why is it so strange between you two? You’re not even trying.” Gavin gave him a desperate look.

Jeremy dropped the wad of paper towels with a wet slap. “I have tried before,” he said quietly. He felt tired suddenly, drained of all his strength.

Gavin straightened. “What do you mean?”

“I have tried before, that’s what I mean,” Jeremy said, wearily rubbing his eyes with his wrist. “About half a year back I made a move, kinda.”

Gavin’s eyes were wide. “What happened?”

“What do you think happened? I was idealistic and impulsive and a fucking idiot,” Jeremy said, wrapping his arms around his knees. “I didn’t even do anything too big, either - I was just testing the waters - but he turned me down hard. Looked all fucking guilty as he told me that we could only ever be friends – that it was for my own good or some shit like that. It was so fucking embarrassing. So I pretended that I was drunk and just joking around, just so Ryan could look at me again without puking in guilt. You get it now?”

“I see,” Gavin said softly.

“So that’s why I get so fucking pissed when everyone acts like I’m the dumb one for not knowing how Ryan feels. I know how he feels – he made that loud and clear.”

“I see, I see.” Gavin looked thoughtful now, as if he was piecing a puzzle together.

“You think I’d be over him by now, right?” Jeremy gave a humorless laugh. “But nah, I haven’t changed at all. I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Maybe I’m just a masochist.”

“I see, I see, I see,” Gavin said, his eyes shining with dawning realization.

Jeremy groaned and flopped down on the bed next to Gavin. “This is so stupid. I need alcohol. How pathetic do you think I’d be if I just sucked it off the floor like an animal?”

“I think it’d be pathetic if you didn’t do it,” Gavin said mischievously.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Don’t fucking try me – I’ll actually do it.”

Gavin flopped down beside him, turning so he could look him in the eye. “You really like that Ryan, don’t you?”

“Well, aren’t you a fucking genius,” Jeremy mumbled into the comforter.

“And that Ryan…seems to value your friendship quite a bit,” Gavin continued.

“Yeah,” Jeremy snorted. “Though I had to pull him into it. He was a bit of this stiff weirdo when I first met him – didn’t talk at all and just kinda hovered around in corners and stared at everyone like a freak of nature. Even though he was already making a name for himself with the summoning stuff, everyone was kinda afraid of him and wouldn’t ever talk to him. But, I uh, I dunno…I felt like he seemed a little lonely.”

“How very tragic,” Gavin said flatly.  

“So, uh, yeah,” Jeremy said, rolling on his back so he could stare dramatically at the ceiling. “One day I noticed he had a Portal pin so I talked to him about that, and the rest is history, I guess. It was nice to see him open up, act like a regular weird guy gushing about something he liked, you know?”

“And then you fell in love with him,” Gavin said, voice hushed.

“Not right away, what the fuck,” Jeremy laughed. Then, he gave Gavin a suspicious glare. “Wait a sec, why am I even talking about this? Don’t think you can trick me into opening up. I’m onto you.”

But Gavin had gone silent again, so Jeremy rolled his eyes and snatched up another donut to stuff into his mouth. He idly wondered if the others were having a good time while he holed up like a gremlin.

“Do you want to know a secret?” Gavin said abruptly. He wasn’t quite looking at him, but there was a weird set to his jaw.

“Sure,” Jeremy huffed. “Don’t wanna be the only one here making a dumbass out of myself.”

“It’s not my secret, though,” Gavin said. “It’s Ryan’s.”

“Oh, really now? And how would you know that?”

Gavin propped himself up so that he was almost hovering over Jeremy.

“Do you want to know why he was so guilty that you loved him?” Gavin said, voice low and entrancing. “Why he still hasn’t pushed you away despite that? Why he’s so happy that you’ve found someone else? Why he’s always around to help you, even when it isn’t possible for him to know? You could find out right now if you wanted.”

Jeremy sat up to give Gavin a confused look. “What are you talking about?”

Gavin watched him intently. “It might change things quite a bit. But you’ll finally understand him. I think it’s worth it.”

Jeremy shook his head impatiently. “You’re not making any sense.”

“He’s outside right now,” Gavin continued, his eyes shining with that unnatural light he had in his demon form. “If you hurry, you can see him as he truly is.”

“Why are you acting so ominous all of the sudden?” Jeremy asked, his heart starting to pound.

“Just go out the back door, and head straight north into the woods for a few minutes. You can’t miss him.”

“Are you joking?” Jeremy balked. “Are you trying to get me killed or what?”

Gavin’s eyebrows drew together, but the strange glint in his eyes didn’t quite go away. “Don’t you trust me?”

Jeremy’s jaw worked. He opened his mouth, then closed it again with a sigh.

“Fine. I’ll go, I guess. Can’t wait to get stabbed,” he mumbled. A walk might be nice anyway, might clear his head. He stood up with an exaggerated groan and headed towards the door.

“Hey, Jeremy,” Gavin called out after him. He was still lounging on the bed, his head propped up by his hand, and Jeremy’s breath caught in his throat. With his costume and the way he laid sprawled out on Ryan’s fancy comforter, he looked something like a lazy Greek god or something like that. The type of god that only had to lift a finger to have thousands of idiots scrambling to their bidding – idiots just like him.

“Yeah?” he choked out.

Gavin smiled slowly. “Don’t be too afraid, okay?”

He could still hear Gavin’s laugh echoing behind him as he closed the door.

Outside, the party was still in full swing. The alcohol had clearly taken effect on most people by that time, and things were descending into chaos. Part of the crowd had broken off and was drunkenly doing the electric slide, even though Monster Mash was the song playing. One person dressed up as banana was attempting to do a keg stand with a cauldron, and was obviously failing. A ridiculously long conga line, led by a very red Jack, was starting to snake its way around the foyer.

Jeremy sighed and started to push his way through, shoving sweaty bodies and clingy people mercilessly out of his way. It was absolutely stifling. There was something dream-like about the way the neon lights pulsed around him, and it each time it flashed, he could see people’s garishly painted faces grinning around him, like quickly changing snapshots.

Finally, he made his way out into the blessed coolness outside. There were significantly fewer people out on the porch, only a few making out couples and swaying drunks.

Jeremy pulled out his phone and fumbled it for a few minutes before he located the compass app. Right. North was that way. He spun in that direction and stumbled into the night.

What the hell was he even doing? This was obviously some sort of weird ploy by Gavin, he knew that. And yet, here he was going along with it anyway, like the dumbass he was. It wasn’t as if he actually trusted Gavin - it was more he didn’t think that the demon had any reason to randomly send him to his death. Probably.

And what the fuck had he even been talking about with Ryan? Even if he was out here, jacking off in the woods or whatever he was doing, how did Gavin know? If anything, Jeremy was sure he’d end up finding a wild bear or something instead. He could just hear Gavin’s obnoxious voice now. _I’m so sorry, Jeremy_ , he would say as Jeremy lay bleeding out. _I didn’t know bears were dangerous! I saw a human cartoon on them, and they seemed so cute!_ He snorted to himself.

But even his humorous imagination did nothing quell the oddness of the situation. The purple and red lights from the party faded away, leaving the woods dark and stiff. He could still hear Monster Mash playing in the distance, but the normally cheery notes were long and drawn-out, almost dissonant against the whistle of wind and chatter of bugs. The spindly branches of the trees, now stripped bare of leaves, looked like reaching arms in the moonlight. It was fucking cold, too, and Jeremy shivered, wishing he had thought to bring his hat and duster with him. His thin button-down shirt and vest weren’t much protection against the frigid night air.

Jeremy swallowed, hard. He could turn back now if he wanted, tell Gavin that everything he said was bullshit and join back into the warm festivities. But somehow, he kept stepping forward, almost against his will.

After about a minute of mindless walking, the atmosphere around him abruptly changed. The temperature around him plummeted, and his breath misted out of him in little clouds.

Something was off.

He could feel it in the way his skin crawled, the way all his body hair stood up on end. The air was thick and heavy, and every time he breathed it tasted as if he were sucking on a handful of pennies. His attention fell on a nearby tree, which was spattered in a viscous dark liquid. Trembling, he put his hand up to touch it, and the tips of his fingers stuck to the bark slightly.

“Ryan?” He meant to call out, but the word barely whistled out of him.

In the distance a white light flickered, and he whirled towards it.

“Ryan?” he called out again, a little louder this time. Still, it didn’t make much traction in the thick air.

The light increased in brightness, almost like a spotlight against the surrounding woods. Teeth chattering, he stepped towards it, his boots crunching quietly against the carpet of pine needles. More of those strange dark splatters littered the path in front of him, and they stuck like gum when he stepped on them.

 _I should turn back,_ he thought. But he still kept walking forward.

The light was blinding now, and he put his hand up to block it, his face scrunching up in discomfort. He could faintly hear something beyond the whistle of wind and distant party music: the sound of a small, persistent dripping noise.

 _I should really turn back,_ he thought. But he stepped into the clearing.

For a minute, he saw nothing but white. It was so bright that it felt like it was digging into his eyes and pushing against the back of his skull. He blinked rapidly, trying desperately to adjust his vision. Finally, some of the white edged away, and he could make out a large, blurry form in the middle of the clearing.

The figure was humanoid in shape and kneeling on the ground, some sort of cape or tapestry flowing out from its shoulders. It was bent over some crumpled dark form, and as Jeremy watched, it retracted its arms from the dark body, leaving them black and dripping up until the elbow. A small noise of shock escaped him, and the creature’s head whipped towards him with unnatural speed.

Jeremy let out a yelp. The creature’s face was entirely featureless except for six eyes, large and unblinking as they stared down at him. Jeremy crumpled to the ground, fear shooting up his chest. He scrambled backwards, his hands and boots slipping uselessly on the icy ground.

It stared soundlessly at him, and Jeremy knew with absolute certainty that he was fucked. The creature emanated nothing but wrongness – like a glitch that had manifested in real life. But the more he stared, the more he realized there was something familiar about it in the swoop of its hair, and in the suit that it wore.

“Ry…an?” he said, voice cracked with fear and disbelief.

Then, he blinked, and suddenly it was Ryan’s face staring at him, his mouth open wide in horror.

“Oh, no,” he said slowly, bringing a dripping hand to his head. “Oh no, no, no. You weren’t supposed to see this. You were never supposed to see this.”

It was Ryan, but Not Ryan at the same time, like Jeremy was seeing him in a wavery dream. His features were the same, but his form was glowing lightly, as if there were lights trapped underneath his skin. And his eyes – eyes that Jeremy had always found himself admiring – were entirely white.

Ryan stepped forward, his coat rustling behind him. “This isn’t what it looks like,” he said desperately, his hands held up in surrender.

But it wasn’t a coat, he realized – it was wings, several of them, layered with hundreds upon hundreds of perfectly white feathers. They cast an iridescent sheen as they moved.

 _This has to be some sort of fucked up Halloween prank,_ Jeremy thought, his hands trembling as he brought them over his mouth. But the horror on Ryan’s face was too real, and the stench of copper was sickening. Ryan took another careful step forward, and Jeremy hurried backward again. His back hit the trunk of a tree with a thunk, and he froze in terror.

Ryan stopped his advances, his eyebrows pulling together. He cursed quietly, and his shoulders drooped.

“This is my fault,” he said, voice raw with emotion. “They’ve been getting so persistent lately, and I’ve gotten careless. I slipped up. Jeremy, I…”

But Jeremy only shook his head slowly. He dropped his hands.

“What…are you?” was all he could say.

Ryan’s eyes closed painfully, and his head fell. The light around him snuffed out suddenly, leaving the clearing dark and cold. His wings scattered away in a flurry of white feathers, and then it was just the normal Ryan he knew standing in front of him: shoulders slumped, and eyes creased with tiredness.

He took a deep breath, and slowly raised his head to stare at Jeremy straight on.

“I’m an angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my playlist !!


	7. Heaven, Hell, and the Idiot Inbetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jk [here's](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwotityQknhkipDNDPWuLFQ8p4K6fqd3M) my playlist because the other one wasn't working for whatever reason.  
> Also i'm so sorry this fic has gotten so long and serious lol... like i really did want to make a short romantic comedy, but somewhere along the way (literally the first chapter oops) i kinda lost that. I'll try not to make everything too angsty and whatnot, but I can't promise there won't be tons of drama haha...Well, I hope everything is still enjoyable anyway! Thank you so much for coming along this weird ride <3

"You're joking right?"

Jeremy stared up at Ryan in disbelief, his head shaking slowly. He could hear his own breath unevenly ghosting out of him, as loud as gunshots in the quiet clearing. Pine needles pressed uncomfortably into the palms of his hands, and the sickening smell of copper was starting to make him feel dizzy.

Ryan dropped his gaze, and turned to peel off his dark gloves. He stretched his bare fingers in front of him, regarding them thoughtfully.

“You can believe that, if it makes you feel better,” he said. “I just thought it would be fair to you to tell the truth.”

Jeremy barked out a humorless laugh. “The truth? That you’re a fucking angel?”

“Yes,” Ryan said simply.

He shakily attempted to stand, but his legs wobbled, and he collapsed again. Ryan shot forward at unnatural speed, scooping him up before he could hit the ground.

“Careful,” he said, worried face too close to his own. But Jeremy could only stare wide-eyed at his arms, which were still covered in that thick, dark liquid.

“Let me down,” he yelped, wriggling frantically in his grasp. Ryan’s face wiped of emotion, and he carefully set him down.

“You’re afraid,” he stated flatly.

“What?” Jeremy scrambled backward.

“Your heartbeat is accelerated drastically, and your pupils are dilated,” Ryan stated clinically. “Fear. You’re so afraid that you can barely stand.”

“I know what fucking fear is,” Jeremy burst out. “Of course I’m afraid, what do you expect me to feel? You had multiple eyes and were glowing like a fucking human lightbulb and now you’re acting all weird. I don’t know how else I’m supposed to react.”

“No. This is what I expected,” Ryan said quietly. “I’ve imagined you finding out like this before, time and time again - selfish indulgences like that. But no matter how I imagined it, I could only see you afraid.” He smiled to himself - a bitter, self-deprecating smile. “I’m sorry about all this. I’ll leave you now.”

Ryan took a step away, his face shadowed. Jeremy’s heart jumped, and before he could think, he vaulted towards him, yanking him back.

“Oh, no, no,” Jeremy said. “You don’t just get to leave like that, so you can fucking ascend or whatever. You’re staying here.”

Ryan slowly turned to look at him, something vulnerable in his eyes. “You want…me to stay?”

“I want you to explain everything,” Jeremy said, stepping back to cross his arms. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Ryan stared at him for a minute, then nodded. “That’s fair. I’ll answer any question you have.”

Jeremy dragged a hand across his face. “What the hell is this?” He motioned towards the crumpled, dark form, still oozing that nauseating copper smell into the air.

Ryan’s eyes glinted cruelly as he looked over at it. “A demon. It was going after you, so I killed it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jeremy’s heart was pounding erratically, and he felt bile rise in his throat. As he watched, the form slowly dissolved into black dust and filtered away into the night air.

Ryan looked tired again. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been the target of creatures such as this. I’ve only wanted to protect you, Jeremy, I want you to know that.”

Jeremy thought back to the hellhounds glowing red eyes as it stared down at him, and swallowed dryly.

“Why would…I be their target?”

“Because of what you contain,” Ryan said. “Your very existence is a red flag to them.”

Jeremy scrunched his face up, his headache worsening into a migraine. “Uh, what now?”

“I’m sure you know how summoners are rooted out from the normal populace, correct?”

“Yeah, you get tested for your ‘essence’ or whatever when you’re first put in school,” Jeremy said, brows furrowed. “As far as I remember, I was told I was shockingly below average and then tossed out into the playground. What does this even have to do with anything?”

“So there are regular humans, with a normal lifeforce – picture them as candles,” Ryan explained, starting to pace. “Then, over that are the summoners with an essence as powerful as a floodlight – strong enough to tempt demons into working for them. And then even further up the chain belong people like you – people with a lifeforce as strong as a sun. So powerful that it cannot be measured on any such scale, and that it almost seems limitless in quantity.”

“People like me,” Jeremy repeated, dumbfounded. “That sounds so fucking stupid.”

“People like you can be considered something of mediums, perhaps. Though for celestial beings, rather than ghosts.”

“You realize I couldn’t even summon a demon fly if I wanted to, right?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Have you ever tried?”

“Of course not…” Jeremy trailed off, realization dawning on him. Technically, he had tried before, once. And he had somehow ended up summoning Gavin, which should’ve been impossible. But that didn’t make what Ryan was saying any less bullshit.

“Angels like me are usually sent to protect those like you from falling into the wrong hands. But for some reason, you had completely flown under the radar,” Ryan continued, fastidiously brushing dark ash off his sleeves. “It was quite a surprise when I stumbled upon you – I wasn’t even sure how you had made it alive that far. Must’ve been pure dumb luck.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Jeremy said, feeling more than a bit irritated. “I’m this fucking giant, juicy demon burger, and you’re, what, the poor angel that was tasked to protect me from the evil clutches of hell or whatever?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Ryan sputtered, stepping forward anxiously. “Jeremy, I’ll admit, I was perfectly fine leaving you to whatever fate had designed for you. I owed nothing to my associates, and I had my own goals to pursue. But then, you…we became friends, and I couldn’t leave you alone in good conscience.” He averted his gaze again, his cheeks a little pink.

 _Holy shit_ , Jeremy thought.  _I made friends with an angel, and then fucking fell in love with him, and now a demon is trying to set me up with him. My life is a literal joke._  He put a hand on his head.

“So…you’ve just been protecting me from the shadows, then?” Jeremy said. “Like fucking Batman or whatever, making sure I don’t get eviscerated?”

“Yes. Every time a demon would come after you, I would kill it.” There was something terrifying about the casual way Ryan was talking.

Jeremy nervously licked his lips. “How often did that happen?”

“Often enough that you had a few close calls,” Ryan said, mouth twisting in quiet fury.

“Shit,” Jeremy breathed. “So all those times I…got in trouble…that was because of demons after me?”

Ryan nodded. “But for some reason, these sorts of attacks have increased significantly in intensity lately. And to make matters worse, my, ah, connection to you has somehow weakened this past week, and I am unable to tell if you are in danger or not any longer.”

“Connection?” Jeremy said. “Holy shit, so you do have a Jeremy Danger Sonar in your dick?”

“I…um, sorry?”

“Nevermind.” Jeremy cleared his throat. “So what do these demons even want from me? They want me dead or what?”

“Ideally, the ultimate prize is your soul,” Ryan said. Jeremy froze. “However, something like this is unobtainable for lesser demons. So the best bet for them is your blood.”

Jeremy shook his head slowly and let out a disbelieving laugh. “Am I just gonna be hunted after for the rest of my life, then? Is there anything I can do about it or am I just fucked?”

“I’ve tried changing your scent before, and that seemed to hold them off,” Ryan said. Then, his eyebrows knitted together, and he leaned in towards him. “Still, it seems that has worn off. Strange.”

Jeremy put a hand over his eyes. “Oh, god. I don’t even wanna know what you’re talking about,” he groaned.

“There’s something powerful out there,” Ryan said, scanning the surrounding forest critically. “Something smart – a ringleader of sorts. I believe it is trying to wear you down, scare you into forming a contract with it. I’m sure it is responsible for the recent deaths around here as well.”

Jeremy felt a chill run down his back. He looked out over at the spindly, reaching trees, and took an unconscious step closer to Ryan.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” he murmured.

“I have a plan in order to draw them out, but we can discuss that later, if you want. I know that this is a lot.” Ryan gave him a pitying look.

“Yeah, yeah, it kinda is,” Jeremy said. He was fucking exhausted suddenly, and all he wanted to do was go home and rot and never think a single thought ever again. He wearily sunk to the ground, leaning up against a tree.

So. Ryan was an angel. That was something else.

Maybe a small part of him had always known there was something different about Ryan – something off. When he saw him for the first time, he had to admit there was something unnerving about the way Ryan held himself – cold and detached like some sort of beautiful gargoyle looking down on everyone else. But somewhere along the way of late-night Halo binders and days out in town gorging themselves on greasy food, he had completely forgotten about that type of Ryan. Instead, he only knew the Ryan that was awkward and dorky, that got childishly upset about things that didn’t matter, or thought that inserting vague Shakespeare quotes into a conversation was normal. The type of Ryan he had fallen in love with.

“Has…everything we done together been a lie?” Jeremy asked softly, too afraid to meet Ryan’s eyes. “The you that I know…is that even your true self?”

Ryan went stiff with shock, then surged forward. “Jeremy, no. Everything I’ve done around you, the way I was around you and the others, that was entirely real. I-”

“The others. Do they know?”

Ryan stopped in his tracks and let out a careful sigh. “No. Only Trevor.”

Jeremy blinked in surprise. “Trevor? What?”

“He, ah, has been helping me out with some projects of mine,” Ryan said, eyes shifting around strangely. “He’s quite talented.”

Jeremy suddenly recalled all the times he had stumbled upon Ryan and Trevor talking together at the university, heads close together as they urgently debated back and forth about something he couldn’t catch. Jeremy had always chalked it up to smart people talk, and had never really thought about it further, as it stirred up petty jealousy in him, and that was never a good look on him.

“You mean, like, angel projects?” Jeremy persisted.

“Um, no. Personal projects. I haven’t been aligned with…my people’s goals in quite some time.” Ryan was looking even cagier, somehow.

“Huh,” was all Jeremy could think to say. Everything was really going way over his head at this point.

“But Jeremy, it’s important to me that you understand how much you – this – means to me.” He motioned between the two of them. “Ever since I met you…the way you accepted me…I…I never knew…” Ryan trailed off, going a dramatic shade of red. Jeremy could practically see his tongue tie into knots as he clumsily stumbled over his words.

“You’re gonna give yourself an aneurysm, Ry,” Jeremy said, smiling softly despite his will. “It’s okay – I understand.”

Ryan made a frustrated noise and pulled a hand through his hair. “No, no. I don’t think you do.” He turned away, biting at his lip.

But he did understand. Their friendship had always meant a lot to him – annoying love troubles aside. Ryan had always been there for him, going out of his way to help him out of his troubles or assure him when his anxieties were getting the best of him. So sure, Ryan was apparently some sort of scary angel that went around murdering demons that were trying to murder him, but he was still Ryan. They were still friends, and for once, he wanted to be there for Ryan the way he had always been there for him.

For a minute, Jeremy just sat, silent, watching the shadows dance beyond the trees. Then, his gaze wandered up to Ryan. Something about the way the moonlight shone off his eyes as he stared out into the distance seemed incredibly lonely, just like the way he looked when they first met. Jeremy’s chest twisted.

“Come ‘ere,” he said gruffly, patting the ground next to him. Ryan’s eye snapped to his, wide and unsure. After a moment of hesitation, Ryan followed after him, plopping down at his side. He was more than a bit stiff.

“So, angel, huh,” Jeremy said.

“Yes.” Ryan folded his hands tightly in his lap. He looked almost as if he were bracing himself, his shoulders squared and his jaw clenched.

“You, uh, live in heaven, or whatever? Suck off God?” Jeremy asked casually.

Ryan sent him a bemused glance, his shoulders untensing a little bit. “I don’t think it’s particularly what you’re imagining. It’s all more of an aspect, rather than a physical location.”

“So you’re telling me you don’t lounge on clouds with your ass out while playing the harp? I’m disappointed.”

Ryan’s lips quirked. “I can play the harp, but I’ve never done it naked, unfortunately.”

“You play Wonderwall?”

“I mean, what else would I play?”

“Have you ever sinned before?” Jeremy asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Or are you a paragon of purity?”

“Nowhere near,” Ryan laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’ve indulged in every single one of the seven cardinal sins.” He gave Jeremy a sideways glance. “Perhaps one more than the others.”

“Gluttony, right? Though I feel like when you look at a donut, it’s all seven at once.” Jeremy made a face.

“Ah…yes. That’s what I meant,” Ryan said, blinking rapidly in embarrassment.

“And what about those wings of yours?” Jeremy leaned back to squint at Ryan’s back. “You fly around a lot?”

There was a flash of light, and Ryan’s wings settled around them in a flourish.

“They exist, I guess,” Ryan said. “Not the most convenient method of travel, but they’ll do in a pinch.”

Jeremy gaped at them in amazement, at the way colors seemed to dance across the sleek surface. There was also something familiar about the shifting white of the feathers, but he couldn’t quite place where he knew that.

“They’re beautiful,” he breathed. Almost mindlessly, he reached out to run the pads of his fingers across them. It was smooth and a little bit soft as well, almost downy. He kinda wanted to fall asleep on them.

Ryan made some sort of strangled noise, and Jeremy looked up to see his face had gone completely red again, and his eyes were wide and averted. He immediately snatched his hand away, embarrassed. He had totally just been petting Ryan’s wings like an absolute freak.

“Oh, shit, that was weird,” he said, flustered. “Sorry about that.”

Ryan cleared his throat. “I don’t mind you touching them, but, uh…maybe not now,” he said. There was another small flash, and his wings disappeared. Then, the embarrassment drained from Ryan’s face, twisting into something more serious.

“You…don't have to pretend like you’re okay with this,” he said, playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. “I realize this is strange.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking strange,” Jeremy said, stretching out his legs in front of him. “But I’ll get used to it. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Ryan’s face softened. “I suppose,” he said.

“But…uh, maybe if those demons come after me again, you let me know?” Jeremy said. “I don’t want you to keep silently protecting me like I’m some sort of weak idiot. I can fight too, you know. I got a mean right hook.” He punched the air in front of him for emphasis.

“Alright. I can do that.” Ryan gave him a fond smile. “Then, I hope you would do the same for me as well: any time you find something strange, or feel like there’s something after you, you let me know.”

Jeremy snorted. “Sure. I’ll keep you on speed-dial.”

“I also have a proposal for you, Jeremy.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“I think that while this…thing is still active, you should stay by me. I want you to move in with me - just for the time being - for your own safety.”

Ryan was staring at him intensely, and Jeremy felt heat gather in his cheeks.

“I, uh…hoo, boy.” He exhaled loudly. “Not sure that’d be the best idea.” Not just because his poor heart would probably implode at the sight of a just-woken-up Ryan, but mostly because he kinda had a demon shackled to his side. That was a little important.

Ryan’s eyebrows came together. “I promise I wouldn’t intrude on your privacy, or anything like that. It would only be a temporary arrangement until I can find a solution to this issue. You wouldn’t even have to see me, if that makes you uncomfortable.”

Oh, it made him uncomfortable, alright. Just not in the way Ryan was thinking.

“It’s not that,” Jeremy floundered. “It’s uh…it’s just that…Gavin…”

Ryan froze. He stood up suddenly, taking a few awkward steps back. “Ah, right. I completely forgot – I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make a move on you or anything like that. I just…sorry.”

“Oh, no, no,” Jeremy burst out, flushing. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just…he lives with me, and I…” He slapped a hand over his eyes as Ryan went red. Well. He had just dug himself into a hole he wasn’t entirely sure how to get out of.

“I…didn’t realize it was that serious between you two,” he said stiffly. “Congratulations.”

“Oh, yeah, super serious,” Jeremy said, because he was an idiot who didn’t know how to stop. “We make toast together.”

“I see,” Ryan said. He turned away, his brow furrowed in concentration. “That Gavin, is he…?” He trailed off, looking deep in thought.

“Is he what?” Jeremy prodded.

Ryan shook himself. “Nevermind. Um, I realize I might’ve gotten off on the wrong foot with Gavin. I took something he said the wrong way, and made a bad impression on him.”

“I don’t think you took anything he said the wrong way,” Jeremy muttered dryly. “He was kinda just being a deliberate asshole.”

“So, I think maybe we could try again?” Ryan continued, giving Jeremy an unsure look. “I could take you guys out – my treat – and smooth things over. If he’s important to you, he’s important to me, too.”

Jeremy’s mouth went dry. “Uh…I don’t know if, uh…”

“Ah, is that weird? I can bring someone else, if that makes things better.”

Ryan could bring a literal clown’s car worth of people with him, and it still wouldn’t make things better.

“Um, how about we put a pin that for later?” Jeremy suggested awkwardly. “I think I just need time to think about stuff for a bit.”

“That’s fine. I am serious, though,” Ryan said. “I’ll text you with the details later, okay?”

Jeremy just nodded, already envisioning the horrific disaster that would entail. Ryan offered a hand to him, and Jeremy stared at it blankly for a minute. His hands were clean, but his sleeves were still flaking slightly. But somehow, he didn’t feel any disgust.

 _I’m okay with this, aren’t I?_  he thought.  _Oh my god, I’m completely okay with this. I’ve lost my mind._

He took Ryan’s hand.

“I’ll take you back to the party,” Ryan said as he helped him up. “Can you walk?”

“Of course,” Jeremy snapped, whacking Ryan’s hands away. “I’ll be fine.”

They walked in silence for a bit, the cold woods feeling significantly less creepy with Ryan at his side. In no time at all, they reached the back porch of the house, and Jeremy felt a sharp sting of relief as music and warmth filled the air again. He turned back to look at Ryan, who had a strange, pensive expression on his face.

“You…aren’t gonna leave, are you?” Jeremy said nervously, drawing a line in the dirt with his boot. “Like I’ll turn away and you’ll beam up into the sky or something?”

“I won’t leave,” Ryan said.

“Oh…Okay.”

He must’ve not looked convinced, because suddenly Ryan was stepping forward into his space, his hands softly cupping both of his cheeks, so gently it was barely even a touch.

“I won’t leave you,” he promised, eyes warm, breath ghosting across his face. “Not until you’re safe.”

 _But what about after that?_  Jeremy wanted to ask, but he couldn’t quite remember how words were supposed to work.

Ryan was giving him that pained look again, and Jeremy’s breath stuck in his throat. Every time he had seen that sort of expression, he had always assumed it was because he had accidentally shown his interest in him, and Ryan felt guilty over that. But for the first time, that didn’t feel quite right. Ryan was holding him so gently it was as if he were afraid he would break, and the expression in his eyes was an emotion Jeremy had always been quite acquainted with.

But it couldn’t be that…could it?

Gavin told him he would finally understand Ryan, but instead, he felt more confused than ever. It was as if he were missing some crucial pieces to the puzzle.

“Ryan,” he said slowly. “Do you…?”

But Ryan was stepping away, his hands dropping to his sides. “Good night, Jeremy,” he said, and then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

Heading back into the crowded party was like a slap to the face.

Jeremy winced as the pounding music and lights surrounded him again, feeling as if had just woken up from a dream. His body felt strange and sluggish, and the dancing bodies were blurring slightly, like ghosting imprints. Jeremy groaned and put a hand to his head, stumbling over to the bar.

“What the actual fuck are you even talking about?”

Michael’s loud voice boomed across the room, piercing through the chaos, and Jeremy reflexively tensed. The man in question was standing on the other side of the kitchen, his face impressively red as he pointed accusingly at a pouting Gavin. Jeremy sighed and slugged down some nearby drink in a skull tankard.

“Nah, I can kinda see what he’s saying,” Lindsay said, stroking her chin thoughtfully.

“No, you don’t,” Michael spat. “This guy’s gotta be a fucking alien or something. Like, hello? Do you live on this plane of existence?” He waved a hand in front of Gavin’s face for emphasis.

“Look,” Gavin said, putting up a finger. “I’m just saying that it’s strange that you would. Obviously, if you shoot water up your asshole, it’s gonna go right up-”

“No, stop!” Michael put a hand on his head. “Oh my god, I can’t take this anymore. What is wrong with you?” Despite his harsh words, there was a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. Jeremy snorted. Classic Michael.

He made his way over, and Gavin blinked in confusion as he walked up.

“Back already?” he said, scratching his cheek in bemusement.

“Oh, thank God,” Michael said. “Jeremy, where did you even find this guy? In a garbage bag by the sidewalk?”

“I mean, where else would I find someone willing to be with me?” Jeremy shrugged.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe like ten feet away living in this fucking house?” Michael said, crossing his arms.

“Michael,” Lindsay said warningly.

“What?” Michael threw his arms up. “Like you don’t think he’s an idiot, too? Ryan’s head over heels in love with him, and he’s like nah, I’ll date this freak.”

“Michael!” Lindsay put her hands over Gavin’s ears, like he was a child. Gavin sipped at his drink, looking bored.

“Sorry for telling the fucking truth,” Michael said. “I’m just sick and tired of everyone being such insufferable dumbasses. Ryan loves Jeremy, and Jeremy loves him. How the hell did they both fuck that up so badly?”

“Michael, I swear to God,” Lindsay said, looking annoyed – a pretty rare occurrence. She started to tug him away.

“No offense to you, Gavin,” Michael called out, words slurring a bit. “You seem alright. Feel free to come hang out and me and Linds’ place anytime, or whatever.”

Gavin watched them go, then turned to Jeremy with sparkling eyes. “I think I made a human friend,” he said, grinning.

But Jeremy was frozen in place, his mouth open slightly.

_Ryan loves Jeremy._

He said it so casually, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was something that he heard countless times before, and he had always waved it off in annoyance. But for the first time, he felt the words wriggling under his skin, sticking uncomfortably to his chest. His heart wouldn’t stop pounding.

Gavin squinted thoughtfully at him, then pulled up his camera to take a picture.

“You don’t look particularly ravaged,” he said, studying the picture. “And your soul is still shoved up in you. So I’m guessing you botched it all up again, yeah?”

Jeremy shook himself, and grabbed Gavin’s hand. “Let’s get out of here,” he muttered distractedly.

“Are we back to square one?” Gavin asked, swinging their hands back and forth as Jeremy stormed out of the house. “Honestly, I thought that spiting him would do the trick – he’s definitely the reactive sort. But maybe that made things worse? Hmm.”

“Did you know?” Jeremy asked quietly.

“But something should’ve still happened,” Gavin said contemplatively. “Jeremy, you did make sure to tell him we weren’t actually together, right?”

“I said, did you know?” Jeremy said, louder, yanking Gavin to a stop.

“What do you mean?” Gavin said, blinking innocently.

Jeremy’s mouth twisted up into a snarl. “Don’t play coy. You know exactly what I’m fucking talking about.”

“Oh, you mean the angel thing?” Gavin said, miming surprise. “I almost forgot about that! Pretty funny, innit? Did you like it?”

Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Wasn’t exactly my secret to tell, now was it?” Gavin shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh, fuck off. As if that mattered to you.”

“Of course it matters to me!” Gavin pouted. “Besides, I didn’t think you really cared, Jeremy.”

“What? Of course I care!” Jeremy said. “I mean, it doesn’t matter, but I do care. You’re trying to set me up with a literal angel, what the fuck.”

“Love can go beyond something like that,” Gavin said solemnly.

Jeremy scrubbed an exasperated hand across his face. “This is such a mess,” he mumbled.

Gavin gave him an attentive look. “You say that, but you don’t seem very much bothered,” he said, circling Jeremy slowly. “You really took this all up in stride, unsurprisingly. Such a strange little human you are.”

“More stupid, than strange,” Jeremy groaned. “I mean, I feel like I should be more upset, or whatever, but I just can’t work myself up. He’s still Ryan, you know? Just a bit more…holy, I guess.”

Gavin’s eyes narrowed. “But if you’re still in love with him, why didn’t you two get together? Did he not make a move?”

“Make a move? Ryan?” Jeremy blinked rapidly. “Of course he didn’t.”

Gavin sighed softly. “Chivalry won out. Shame.”

“Look, I feel like you’re forgetting a really essential fact, here,” Jeremy said, voice high with irritation. “I’m not trying to get together with Ryan. I’m not going to let you take my soul.”

Gavin went unnaturally still, any amusement from his face draining away. “Why not?” he said flatly.

Jeremy licked his dry lips, nervousness suddenly flooding him as the mood abruptly shifted.

“Because it’s mine, obviously,” he got out. “I need it.”

“But I need it too,” Gavin said simply. He took a step closer, and Jeremy reflexively took a step back.

“You, uh…I think you’ll be fine,” Jeremy said, unable to tear his gaze away from Gavin’s intense eyes.

“You’ll have Ryan, and Ryan will have you, and I’ll have your soul,” Gavin said. He took another step forward, and Jeremy didn’t move away this time. “You two will be so happy together, and I’ll be happy too. I want it more than anything, Jeremy.”

Gavin was crowding in his space now, his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes pleading. Jeremy’s gaze flicked up to his lips, then down at his hand, which was pressed lightly over his frantically beating heart. Gavin was not a very sturdy person – if Jeremy wanted to, he could easily pick the guy up and chuck him halfway across the clearing. But somehow, he couldn’t even move – found himself not wanting to either.

“Can’t you let me help you?” Gavin said pitiably. He was leaning in close now, so close that his hair brushed up against Jeremy’s forehead. Jeremy just stared helplessly up at him, his mind going to static.

_If you want it that bad, you can just have it._

The thought rose up unbidden inside him, shocking him with its intensity. He could feel the words pressing up against the back of his mouth, and he was suddenly very sure they would come spilling out if he opened it. He swallowed them down, shaking himself.

What the hell was wrong with him? Was he seriously about to hand his soul away on a silver platter, just because Gavin asked him? There was obviously something fundamentally wrong with his brain.

Using every scrap of willpower he had, he shouldered Gavin away, scrambling backwards. Gavin watched him carefully, a shadowed expression on his face.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he stuttered. “And stop using your damn demon magic on me.”

Gavin cocked his head. “Demon magic?”

“Yes, demon magic,” Jeremy spat. “Every time you’re close to me I can’t think straight.”

Gavin leaned up against a tree, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. “Hmm. That’s interesting. Maybe you should go get that checked out.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Jeremy said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just stay out of my head, okay?” He didn’t like the way Gavin was looking at him – sharp and knowing, as if he were seeing straight into his mind, analyzing every single latent thought he had.

“I don’t think there’s really much I can do ‘bout that, but alright.” Gavin shrugged.

Jeremy sent him one last vitriolic glare before stomping off onto the pathway again. Gavin followed after him.

“So you should tell me about your talk with your Ryan,” Gavin suggested. “I wish I could’ve been there, really, but you know – immortal enemies and whatnot.” He waved his hand around flippantly.

Jeremy gave him a sideways glance, then pulled his coat closer around him. “He, uh…said a lot of stuff. He mentioned that something powerful was stalking me – very comforting.”

“Yeah, but we already knew that,” Gavin said, yawning a bit. “Anything else?”

“Isn’t that what’s most important?” Jeremy said. “I could die a gory demon-caused death at any moment.” He whirled around to nervously scan the woods, as if it would jump out at him while he was talking about it.

“I would never let that happen. And I don’t think he would either.” Gavin let out a humorless laugh. “Funny – I guess we have something in common.”

“And I guess there’s something else bothering me,” Jeremy continued. “I just don’t get why an angel would be a person that lectures about demon summoning, of all things. Isn’t that kind of weird? Shouldn’t he be like – I dunno – blessing people? It felt kinda weird to ask him when he was acting all shady.” He sighed in relief as he reached his car, and quickly unlocked the doors.

“I’m sure he has reasons,” Gavin said, inspecting his fingernails.

“Yeah, but even trying to summon you – a love demon?” Jeremy said as he pulled open the car door. “I mean, what’s with that? Do angels even need love? And if they did, why enlist the help of demon? Seems a bit – Gavin?” He turned back to see that Gavin had abruptly stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide.

“What…did you say?” he said slowly.

“Oh, did I never tell you?” Jeremy scratched his cheek awkwardly. “Yeah, I found your summoning circle all set up in his office. I just accidentally added my blood and whatever. But, it’s pretty funny, right? If I had never fucked everything up, you’d probably be working for him right now, I guess.”

Gavin didn’t answer. His eyes were flicking back and forth, as if he were frantically reading something, and his brows were furrowed in concentration.

“Uh…Gav?”

There was a spark of dark energy, and Gavin’s dark cat form padded across the road, slipping past him to jump up into his car.

“Gavin!” Jeremy looked around anxiously, but the road was thankfully abandoned.

 _I need to think,_  he said.

He climbed in his car to see Gavin was curled up in his passenger seat, his back facing him. Jeremy’s brow furrowed, and he reached a hand out.

“Gavin, are you-?”

 _I said I need to think,_ Gavin said, cutting him off.

Jeremy froze, then slowly retracted his hand.

“Right,” he said. He bit his lip, and put his concentration on the drive ahead of him.

Gavin didn’t speak for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

It was about early morning when he heard a hesitant knock on his door, rousing him from a dream-heavy sleep.

“B’uh? Who is it?” he mumbled, blearily lifting his head from his drool-stained pillow.

“It’s Gavin.” His voice was soft and unsure. “Can I come in?”

Jeremy squinted at the door, then sighed and flopped his head back down. “Sure. You…done thinking?”

The creaked open, and Gavin slowly drifted in. He looked weirdly exhausted – dark circles ringing his eyes, hair mussed and unkempt, and his tail dragging lifelessly behind him.

“I’m done thinking,” he said quietly.

He kinda just floated there, looking small and awkward with his thin arms wrapped around himself, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Jeremy sighed and lifted up his comforter. Gavin’s eyes lit up, and he quickly crawled in, as if Jeremy would change his mind. He flipped over and faced his back to Jeremy, curling up into a tight ball. Jeremy yawned and thoughtlessly slung an arm around his waist. He was already halfway back to sleep when Gavin spoke again.

“Did Ryan…mention me at all?”

His voice was so quiet that Jeremy barely caught it. He cracked open an eye and stared a hole into his back.

“Uh, yeah?” he said, a little confused. “Said that you guys got off on the wrong foot and wanted to make it up to you and take the both of us out, or something like that.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Gavin went silent again. Jeremy propped his head up again, his sleep-blurred brain trying to make sense of the situation.

“What? No crazy plans involving hotdogs and flavored lube?”

“I’ll think of some tomorrow,” Gavin said, his voice listless and drained.

Jeremy was still half-asleep and his brain was edged with fog, but he could still tell something was off. The idea of happy-go-lucky Gavin being upset made him uncomfortable in ways he couldn’t quite explain, so he forced his eyes open and sat up more.

“You know, you can talk to me,” Jeremy said carefully. “I mean, if there’s something wrong. I don’t mind listening.”

“I’m fine,” Gavin said shortly.

Jeremy made a face. That was a strikeout. Gavin obviously didn’t want to talk about it, whatever it was. Still, it felt wrong to just roll over and ignore it, when he had come to him. He racked his sluggish brain, desperately trying to put together what could’ve made Gavin this way.

“Is it…because of Ryan?” Jeremy guessed. Gavin’s shoulders tensed. “Do you not like him because he’s an angel, or what?”

“Who said I didn’t like him?” Gavin said noncommittally.

Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. He wasn’t making any sort of headway.

“Um…or do you wish that you had been contracted with him, instead of me?” Jeremy tried, some trepidation leaking into his words.

Gavin flipped over to face him, his eyes wide with confusion. “What are you on about?” he said.

“Well, you got all weird after I told you that you were almost Ryan’s summon. So, I dunno, you probably wish you weren’t stuck with me, right?” Jeremy cleared his throat awkwardly. Gavin just stared at him, looking completely dumbfounded.

“Jeremy, you really are an idiot, aren’t you?” he said, an eyebrow raised.

Jeremy flushed. “Fuck you. What other conclusion was I supposed to make there?”

“I feel like there’s a lot.”

“But I guess you would want to be with me, wouldn’t you?” Jeremy said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “I’ve got my tasty sweet soul, just ripe for the taking. Every demon wants a piece, limited time only.”

The bewilderment dropped from Gavin’s face, and his expression became emotionless. “Yes. I do want that.”

Jeremy barked out a laugh, ignoring the painful twist in his chest. “Yeah, I know. What else is there?”

Gavin stared at him unblinkingly, like some sort of reptile. “Nothing. That’s all I want.”

Jeremy recoiled back. “Fuck. I said I knew.”

He flopped back down and turned away from Gavin, his throat feeling tight and hot, like there was something lodged in it. What was his problem, anyway? He rubbed irritably at his nose.

There was a rustle of sheets, and suddenly Gavin was hovering over him, his hand tipping his chin up, forcing him to look up at him. A chill ran down Jeremy’s back. The pinpricks of green light in Gavin’s eyes had retreated again, leaving them entirely black.

“Jeremy, you do realize I’m completely empty, right?” he said.

Jeremy’s first instinct was to laugh, a disbelieving, nervous laugh – too loud and abrupt in the darkness of the room.

“You and me both, pal,” he stuttered.

But Gavin kept staring down at him with those unsettling eyes, so dark that Jeremy felt as if he could’ve been swallowed up by them. He licked his lips nervously.

“What do you mean?” he asked finally, when the eerie silence had gotten too much.

Gavin pulled his hand back, but Jeremy still couldn’t quite look away.

“Exactly what I said. Demons have nothing inside of them – like a void,” Gavin said, his voice strangely flat, like he was reading something aloud from a textbook. “That’s why we need souls so bad, you know. To fill up the nothingness, to cling on to any scrap of humanity and warmth we can find.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Jeremy said irritably. “But you’re not like that. You’re not-”

“But I am,” Gavin said, leaning back. “Everything I showed you, everything I said, every face I wore was a lie in order to get you on my side, to make it easier to get your soul. It was a trap, and you fell right into it.”

Jeremy pulled himself back up into a sitting position, his heart in his throat. “Bullshit. If it’s a trap, then why are you telling me?”

“Because it’s too late,” Gavin said, giving a patronizing smile. “No matter what I say or do, you won’t be able to escape. You’re already in too deep.”

“What the fuck are talking about?” Jeremy burst out. “It’s not like you dug a goddamn hole for me.”

“Whatever you want from me, whatever you’re expecting, you’re not going to get.” Gavin stretched into a lounging position, his dark eyes glinting with cruelty. “I have nothing.”

Jeremy felt heat gather in his cheeks as humiliation flooded him. There was something knowing to Gavin’s disdainful look, as if he were accusing him of something. He bristled.

“I’m not – I don’t want anything from you,” he spat. “Why are you acting like this?”

“You’re too accepting, Jeremy,” Gavin said, crossing his arms. “I’m not human, and Ryan isn’t either. You should be careful to remember that.”

“I know you guys aren’t,” Jeremy said, eyebrows pulling together. “But it doesn’t change anything.”

“That’s rich.” Gavin laughed - a thin, hollow sound. “How thick can you be?”

Jeremy ground his teeth together. “Are you just trying to get a rise out of me, or what? Fuck you, I’m not dealing with this. I’m going to sleep.” He aggressively slumped back down and yanked the covers over himself.

For a minute, he glared at the wall, seething quietly. What the fuck was Gavin’s issue? All of this had all just suddenly come out of nowhere. It was obnoxious and frustrating, and Jeremy knew that if he continued to humor Gavin, it would end with his fist in his throat – probably not the best way to start the morning.

But as he fumed, his gaze fell upon Gavin’s little stuffed panda bear that he had proudly displayed on Jeremy’s desk. Instantly, he felt himself depress, the angry red bleeding from his vision. He flicked his gaze over at Gavin to see that he was slowly drifting back towards the door, looking just as small and unsure as he did when he had first come in. Jeremy completely deflated, hefting out a silent sigh.

Gavin being empty? What an absolute load of shit that was. He couldn’t help but remember all the different expressions he had seen Gavin make – the way his eyes had shown with awe as he had looked out of the ferris wheel, the way his mouth stretched up into a wild grin every time he pulled Jeremy recklessly forward, or the way his eyebrows pulled together in nervousness when he got ready to meet Jeremy’s friends. If Gavin had truly been fooling him this entire time, then he was the best damn actor in the world.

He didn’t really understand why Gavin felt the need to randomly be an asshole at four in the morning, but he did know he didn’t agree with what he was saying. Maybe Gavin was testing him, or challenging him, or whatever, but there was no way he could let it go just like that.

“You’re not empty,” he said, voice muffled through the pillow. Gavin froze. “Maybe you’re all a lie and have been tricking me this all the time or whatever, congrats, but you’re not empty.”

Gavin didn’t say anything, but Jeremy could tell by his stiff profile that he was listening.

“I’ve never met someone that’s as much as you are, if that makes sense,” Jeremy mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re almost too much – so much that I don’t know what to do about it. Everything you do and say…it’s a lot, but like in a good way, you know? So, fine, I’m just a thick, dumb idiot that’s probably so stupid that I’ll probably end up giving my soul away with a smile, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’re definitely something.”

Gavin was still completely still, his hand frozen on the doorknob. Jeremy sighed again, too tired to feel awkward for once.

“It’s like…a firework, maybe,” Jeremy murmured, voice sluggish with sleep. “Like a really nice one – one you’ve never seen before. So you look at it, and it’s really fucking amazing, but then it's gone. But you still kinda have the flash stuck on the back of your eyelids, so every time you blink you still see it. You’re like that – except it never goes away and it keeps flashing over and over again, and you can’t ever look away even if it hurts your eyes, because it’s always so different, you know?”

Gavin remained pointedly silent.

“Sometimes it’s those really big ones that look like flowers, and sometimes it’s those dumb little sparks that are kinda pointless and just fizzle out, but it’s always fun to look at,” Jeremy continued groggily, feeling as if he were half talking in a dream. “And sometimes it’s completely dark, but while you’re waiting for the next firework to go off, you realize how long it’s been since you’ve stared at the sky like that. Does that make sense?”

 “I’ve never seen a firework before,” Gavin said quietly.

“Oh. We should go see some sometime,” Jeremy mumbled. “They’re kinda stupid, but really pretty, too. I like them a lot.”

Gavin’s head whipped towards him, his eyebrows threaded together and his eyes bright with distress. But then he quickly turned away again, and Jeremy was sure he was already in a dream at that point, because there was no reason for him to look like that.

“Uh, feel free to ignore me,” Jeremy said, letting out a jaw-cracking yawn. “I don’t even know what I’m saying half the time. Can’t you be creepy at a more normal hour? I’m really going to sleep now.” He settled back down again, pulling the sheets up to his neck.

Fuck, what a shitty day. The horrendous Halloween party was enough of a shitshow on its own, but adding on finding out Ryan’s dark secret and then Gavin acting like a asshole made it nearly unbearable. He still couldn’t quite parse out what had bothered Gavin so much that he’d lash out like this, or even what his intentions behind it were. But he was really fucking tired, and he doubted he even had the brainpower to do simple addition at this point, let alone begin to unfold the complex mystery that was Gavin. He let out a small sigh, forcing his tense muscles to relax. He would just have to think about everything tomorrow, when his mind would be in the right place.

His burning eyes slitted close, and sleep thankfully quickly pulled him under. He was halfway through a warm dream about cotton candy clouds and Ryan shredding on a harp like an electric guitar when he felt something lightly press on him. Blearily, he cracked open an eye to see that a small, black cat had curled up tightly on his chest, right over his heart.

Smiling softly to himself, he let sleep take him once more.


	8. There's Nothing More Pretentious Than Attempted Murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting in the final stretch here! Just a small warning, things are kinda gonna go to shit from here on out. Hopefully, in a fun way though lol. Enjoy!

Jeremy never forgot the first time Ryan saved his life.

It was a pretty late night, and he had been completely drunk off his ass. One moment he was fumbling with his phone, trying to figure out how to call a cab, and the next he was stumbling down an abandoned alleyway, more than a bit lost.

And then, somehow, he ended up sprawled on the concrete, his chest ripped open. It was almost comical, how quick and unexpected it had happened. He hadn’t even seen the perpetrator, he had just heard a throaty growl before he was thrown on his ass, claws as sharp as knives digging into his skin.

An animal attack, they would say later. A wayward coyote, or an abnormally large raccoon. But it could’ve been a fucking squirrel on steroids for all he cared. All that mattered was that his luck had shit on him once again. It was getting exhausting at this point.

Sometimes, it kind of felt like the entire world wanted him dead.

To his horror, he felt hot tears prick at the corner of his eyes as he lay bleeding out on the ground. It was so fucking pathetic, how he always ended up fucked over like this, with no way to even fight back. He was so tired of it all.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, blinding and beautiful, and he wished he had the strength to shield his eyes. And then, Ryan of all people was kneeling down next to him, his face raw with concern and horror.

Jeremy gaped up at him shock, wondering if his dying, gay brain had decided to pitifully supply him with an image of the hottest guy he could think of before he slipped away. If that was true, then he could welcome death with open arms. But Ryan was pressing down on his ground meat chest, and the pain was all too real.

“Oh, no, no,” Ryan said, biting at his lip. “Jeremy, you’re going to be okay.”

And for some reason, Jeremy believed him. Ryan’s hand was ghosting warmly around his face, and the touch was grounding. He just stared helplessly up at Ryan as he fussed over him, something soft bubbling in him.

“How did…you find me?” he rasped out, his breath whistling painfully through him.

“It’s okay,” Ryan reassured him. “You don’t have to worry anymore. I’m here for you now, whenever you need me.”

Jeremy settled back down, speechless. Ryan was smiling kindly at him, and any sort of bitterness or pain dredged up inside of him slowly melted away. He hadn’t even realized how afraid he had been before, how much that had built up inside of him, weighing him down. But now it was completely gone, and he felt lighter than he had in years.

“Okay,” he whispered, and let himself slip away in his warm arms.

The next morning, he woke up in a hospital bed. Michael was pacing back and forth, scolding him at every opportunity, and Lindsay and Trevor were debating about how turtles got laid, and Matt was gorging himself on the various treats and snacks that Jack had brought over. But Ryan was sitting next to him, fast asleep with a bouquet of flowers at his side, and his hand tangled together with his.

The morning sunlight was warm on his face, and Jeremy realized he was in love.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, god. Please tell me you aren’t actually going to wear that.”

“You told me I should make an impression, right?” Jeremy said. “Well, I think this definitely will.”

Gavin, who was sitting on his bed next to a teetering pile of clothes, gave him a dubious look.

“I don’t even think those colors would look good together even in hell,” Gavin pointed out.

Jeremy glanced down at his outfit, his lips pursed. He was currently sporting a plaid orange shirt, accentuated by a neon purple bowtie and mustard yellow pants. He gave a small spin in front of his mirror and flexed a couple times.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeremy huffed. “It looks sexy as shit. Besides, since when did you become a fashion expert?”

“Since I saw your horrendous closet,” Gavin sniffed, distastefully holding up one of Jeremy’s favorite shirts. “Do you own a single thing that I can work with, here?”

“Fuck you,” Jeremy grumbled, unclipping his bowtie. “I’m a janitor, you know. Don’t have the cash or the occasions to stock up some fancy people clothes. Why can’t you just magic me up some nice outfits like you do for yourself?” He motioned towards Gavin, who was wearing a tight sweater and perfectly pressed slacks. He looked hilariously out of place in the mess of his room, like a model that was posing on top of a trash heap.

“I can only do that to me, unfortunately,” Gavin said. He lifted out another shirt from the pile and handed it over with a grimace. “I suppose this will have to do.”

Jeremy shook it out. It was a pink collared shirt decorated with small red hearts. He was pretty sure he had worn it to a valentine’s formal in high school.

“Really doubt this will fit, but alright,” Jeremy shrugged, and slung off his orange shirt. Gavin abruptly whirled around to face the wall. Jeremy watched him silently, his lips pursed.

Ever since the day of the Halloween party, Gavin had been acting strange.

Maybe he was just over-analyzing things, because for the most part he was exactly the same: still asking his obnoxious questions and telling his weird stories and just generally being an insufferable dumbass. But as the days flew by, he began to notice subtle changes, and once he noticed them, he couldn’t stop seeing them.

The biggest thing was that Gavin had stopped touching him. Which was a weird thing to notice, probably, but Jeremy hadn’t even realized how much Gavin touched him until he stopped entirely. It mostly been casual touches: arms slung around his shoulder, hands snug in his own or dancing across his chest, tail twisting around his waist as he curled up next to him. Jeremy had never minded tactile people, and Gavin did it so often that he had just gotten used to it. And, well, okay, maybe it wasn’t the most unpleasant thing in the world.

But after the party, Gavin started avoiding his touch. It was pretty damn subtle the way he would do it – Jeremy would reach out to clap a hand on his shoulder or sling an arm around him and he would smoothly maneuver away to do something else. Every time he got close, Gavin would drift carefully back, like they were two similarly polarized magnets pushing against each other. If Jeremy hadn’t been actively looking for it, he would never have noticed. But even as he evaded Jeremy’s touch like the plague, every single night he would wake up to find him curled up on his chest in his cat form. Arriving there after he fell asleep, and leaving before he woke up. It was just all around weird.

But then there were even more subtle changes. There was the fact that he refused to look Jeremy in the eye – whenever Jeremy directly met his gaze, his eyes would actually fucking glaze over, like he'd rather be in another dimension than be forced to look at him. Also, he was just overall more subdued in general. Halfway through asking some dumb question or rambling out some story, he would trail off to space out, as if he were constantly caught in a daydream of some sort. Everyone once in a while, Jeremy would look back to see Gavin just staring absently up at the sky, like a child tracing the stars. None of it made the slightest amount of sense.

Obviously, something had changed. Jeremy couldn’t help but play their strange conversation from that night over and over again in his head. But no matter how much he thought about it, he still couldn’t quite puzzle out what any of it meant. All he could tell for sure was that whatever was bothering Gavin had something to do with Ryan.

So, when Ryan had sent out a text inviting the two of them out as he had promised before, Jeremy had jumped on that chance. Somehow, he had to get the two of them to get along with each other. Maybe if he made that miracle happen, Gavin would stop acting so strange.

Still, even he could tell that it was going to be an absolute disaster. How would one even go about making a demon and an angel become friends? His only saving grace was that Ryan didn’t technically know that Gavin was a demon. If he ever found out, well, that probably wouldn’t end great. Ryan hadn’t even told them what they were going to do, terrifyingly enough, just that they had to dress nice – leading him to the obnoxious predicament he was in currently.

He frowned to himself as he strained to button his shirt close. It was really tight, and he could barely breathe with how it constricted across his chest.

“Hey, Gav, I’m not really sure this is gonna work,” he said.

As Gavin turned to look at him, his shirt snapped open with a loud popping noise, scattering buttons everywhere. One of the buttons shot forward and whacked Gavin clean on the nose. For a minute, Gavin just gaped, blinking rapidly, his hand absently going up to touch his nose. Then, he broke out into laughter, nearly falling off the bed as he curled in on himself.

“Oh my god, it just beaned me right in the nose,” he wheezed out, his eyes watering. “I can’t believe that, oh my god. How did that even happen?” He continued to laugh, so hard that all that was coming out of him were strangled squeaks. Jeremy watched him, something warm swelling in his chest. It had been a while since he had heard that laugh, too. It was nice – really, really nice. The kind of laugh that made you feel like the funniest person in the world. He could honestly listen to it for the rest of his life – in a totally non-creepy way, of course.

After Gavin had composed himself, he finally decided on wearing just a simple long-sleeved, black shirt. The V neck was a little deep for what was probably appropriate for what Ryan had vaguely labeled as ‘semi-formal’, but it would have to do.

As he shoved a beanie on his head and slung on his jacket, Gavin let out a pointed yawn.

“Jeremy, don’t forget we have to break up tonight,” he drawled as he lounged on Jeremy’s bed. “Ryan will never make a move on you if he thinks we’re still together.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jeremy sighed. “Not ‘cause he’s like, a fucking angel or whatever. And I thought he was out of my league before. Now he’s so far out he’s in another dimension.” He snorted to himself, but Gavin continued to stare at him, something strange glinting in his half-lidded eyes. With a shock, he realized it was the first time since the party that Gavin had looked directly at him.

“Angels…they love differently than humans,” Gavin said slowly. “Do you know that?”

“Huh? I mean, I guess so,” Jeremy said distractedly. He looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced. He looked more like a burglar than someone going on a fancy outing. “More room in their heart for their god or whatever, amen.”

“No, not like that,” Gavin continued. “Angels they…don’t have any need for time, or any physical type things like that. They don’t really categorize relationships the same way humans do. Does that make sense?”

Jeremy squinted thoughtfully. “Uh, if I had any sort of brain, maybe. Are you saying they don’t like banging, or what?”

Gavin made a frustrated noise. “Jeremy. I mean that the way they connect with those they love might be a bit much for a human to bear. It’s so much, almost overwhelming. If you’re not careful, his love could dissolve you from the inside out.” Gavin gave him an intense look, and Jeremy stared blankly back.

“So you’re saying that if we bang, I’ll just fucking explode?” Jeremy exclaimed. “Seems like a pretty great way to go out, honestly.”

Gavin let out a loud groan and put his head in his hands. “Is that all you think about? Nevermind. I suppose if there’s anyone thick enough to put up with an angel, it’s you.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Jeremy snapped. Then, his phone vibrated, and he quickly yanked it out. “Oh, shit. Dynamite Dick’s here. C’mon, let’s go.” Gavin rolled his eyes.

They made their way out into the frigid night air, Jeremy’s stomach already erupting with nerves. In sharp contrast to him, Gavin looked completely unruffled, his jaw raised up in an almost arrogant angle as they descended the staircase. He wished he could borrow some of that for himself; his heart was practically up in his throat at this point. He was only trying to get a literal demon and a literal angel to be friends – no big deal.

Downstairs, there was a small crowd forming around a car parked up against the sidewalk. People were grouped together, talking excitedly and taking pictures.

“Do you think they’re here for a photoshoot?” someone said excitedly.

Jeremy groaned to himself. He always forgot about what a presence Ryan had. Squaring his shoulders, he pushed his way impatiently through the crowd.

Leaning against a sleek sports car in positions that were far too dramatic to be natural, were two figures. One was Ryan, dressed more fashionably than Jeremy had ever seen him before: sporting a light brown coat paired with a snug white turtleneck, and dark pants tucked into fancy boots. He looked like he stumbled out a fucking fall magazine or something, and his profile seemed intimidating and impassive as he talked seriously to the man next to him. That moment immediately passed as his gaze caught Jeremy’s, and a big, doofy smile grew on his face.

“Jeremy!” he called out excitedly. He strode forward, nearly stumbling over himself in his haste. He pulled him into a tight hug, his warm hands skimming low on his waist, and lingering just a little longer than usual.

“How’s it going, Ry?” Jeremy said, matching his dorky grin.

“Better now.” Ryan pulled back, and his face smoothed out into distant politeness again as he regarded Gavin. “Gavin. It’s good to see you again, as well.” He held a hand out.

Gavin looked coldly down at his outstretched hand and pointedly turned away, his arms crossed. “I suppose,” he said simply.

Ryan awkwardly lowered his hand, and Jeremy winced. Well, they weren’t off to the best start.

“Ah, I should hope we aren’t forgetting about me,” a voice called out. They all turned to see the other man making his way over to them. He was tall and slim, and fashionably dressed as well. There were large sunglasses shrouding his face, but Jeremy could recognize that dumb voice anywhere.

“Trevor,” he groaned. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Jeremy, _il mio bellissimo bambino_ ,” Trevor crooned, kissing the air next to both of his cheeks. “It is so good to see you once more. My old, bleeding heart can finally be at peace.”

“Oh, god, you’ve gotten more annoying,” Jeremy grumbled, snapping his fancy sunglasses off his face. “Or have you always been this annoying, and I just forgot?”

“ _E tu devi essere il piccolo diavolo_ ,” Trevor said, turning to Gavin, his grin going sharp. “I’ve heard so much about you, though not much from Jeremy here.” Gavin stiffened, his eyes narrowing warily.

“If you don’t start speaking in English, I’m literally going to dropkick your scrawny ass,” Jeremy said irritably. “Gavin, this idiot is Trevor, by the way, since he refuses to introduce himself like a normal human being.”

“I leave for such a short time, and yet, when I return, my beautiful maiden was stolen away,” Trevor exclaimed, wiping dramatically at his eyes. “Whatever shall I do now? They just grow up so fast!”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna do it anyway. Come down here, you fucking tree.” Jeremy jumped up and captured Trevor in a headlock, aggressively ruffling his perfectly coiffed hair.

Ryan chuckled as they play wrestled each other. “Yeah, Trevor came in town the other day, so I thought it’d be better if I brought him along. It was pretty lucky, too, since Michael and Lindsay were both busy, and Jack was already going out with his boyfriend.”

“What?” Jeremy released Trevor and fixed him with a glare. “Why didn’t you tell me you were back? You’ve been ignoring all of my calls and texts, too.”

“Alas, my life does not revolve around you,” Trevor sighed, adjusting his hair. “I had many, non-Jeremy related things to take care of first.”

“Whatever, you asshole,” Jeremy muttered crossly.

“Maybe they’re filming a movie,” someone piped up behind them. “I bet the small dude’s their bodyguard.”

A muscle in Jeremy’s jaw twitched. He had completely forgotten they had an audience. He whipped around to face them.

“Ay, you better keep walking ‘ere,” he said, laying his accent on thick. “I’m not afraid to use force.” The crowd quickly scattered away in a flurry of movement.

“Ooh, very impressive,” Ryan whistled. “I should hire you.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Alright,  _Mister Haywood_ , let’s keep going here. We got places to be.” He steered Ryan towards the car, and he held up his hands in surrender.

“Whatever you say,  _Dooley_ ,” Ryan said, eyebrows raised, and a challenge glinting in his eyes. Jeremy gulped and shoved him in the car with more force than was necessary. He corralled the rest in as well, making sure to stuff Gavin up front with Ryan, despite his bewildered silence.

“So where are we going, anyway?” he asked as they started on the road.

“Somewhere nice,” Ryan said vaguely, a smirk curling on his lips. “I think everyone here will enjoy it. In different ways, perhaps.”

“Oh, great, a surprise. Love me a good surprise,” Jeremy said dryly.

Ryan chuckled and reached over to turn on the radio. As he did, Gavin recoiled backwards, shrinking against the side of the car, as far away from Ryan as he could possibly go. Jeremy blinked in shock. What the hell was going on there? It wasn’t as if Gavin was acting that way because Ryan was an angel – he seemed perfectly fine around him before when he knew. So what had changed?

Thankfully, Ryan didn’t seem to notice, still humming happily to himself as he pushed on the gas.

“Um, so, Trevor,” Jeremy said. “How was Italy?”

Trevor immediately brightened. “It was absolutely incredible. So many beautiful places and so many beautiful people – I had quite a few secret trysts amongst the lovely Italian seaside.”

Jeremy snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure you did.”

“It was also quite the knowledgeable trip as well,” Trevor continued. “I learned quite a few tricks and tips that I can’t  _wait_  to try. Jeremy, did you know that–”

Jeremy immediately felt his eyes glaze over. “How about you just show some pictures or some shit?”

Trevor gave a long-suffering sigh. “If you insist,” he said.

They spent the rest of the ride like that: Trevor flipping through pictures on his phone while he narrated ridiculous stories about his time in Italy that Jeremy really hoped weren’t true, and Ryan chipping in his own comments and anecdotes every once in a while. But Gavin stayed entirely silent, even as Jeremy tried to rope him into the conversation. Things were already going worse than he thought. He assumed that Gavin would at least pretend to be a part of things, but even that wasn’t happening. But, the night was still pretty young.

“Seems we’ve arrived,” Ryan announced cheerily, after about twenty minutes of driving.

Jeremy leaned over to squint out the window. They were parked in front of a white, domed building, surrounded by swaying spotlights. People dressed in cocktail dresses and suits spilled towards the entrance, laughing and talking amiably with each other.

“Uh, this looks pretty high society,” Jeremy commented nervously. “Where even are we?”

“It’s an art show,” Ryan grinned as he stepped out of the car, holding his hands up dramatically.

Jeremy scratched his head as he followed out after him. “Huh. That’s an idea.”

“Well, I know that you like art, and Trevor likes pretenses,” Ryan said, looking far too smug as he handed the key over to the valet.

“Hmm, yes, very true,” Trevor said, nodding sagely.

“And I know that Gavin is a photographer as well,” Ryan continued, turning to look at the man in question. Gavin tensed. “It was the perfect compromise.”

Trevor’s eyebrows raised. “So, you’re a photographer, eh? You must show us some of your work.”

Gavin’s jaw locked as they all turned their attention to him. His gaze flicked to Jeremy, and Jeremy gave him an encouraging nod in response. Then, he looked back over at Ryan, and something in his eyes seemed to harden.

“Alright then,” he said, pulling out his camera. They all crowded around as he turned it on and pulled up his gallery.

Jeremy immediately felt himself go red – he really should’ve seen this coming. Every single picture was of him. There was a very flattering picture of him with his mouth stuffed full of pasta, and a picture of him with his face scrunched up with laughter, probably at something Gavin had said, and a picture of him fresh out of a shower with a towel wrapped around his lower half, body blurred slightly and mouth open in fury as he barreled towards the camera. There was even a picture of him just waking up, shirtless, and caught in half a stretch, his eyes half-lidded and a fond smile on his face as he stared up at the camera - that totally wasn’t suggestive in the slightest.

An awkward silence fell upon the group.

“These are, uh…very personal,” Ryan said, voice a bit strained.

“Are these for sale?” Trevor asked eagerly. “I would love to put some on my mantle – what a statement that would make.” Jeremy whacked his shoulder indignantly.

“Oops! Wrong set, sorry,” Gavin said, not sounding sorry at all.

He flipped ahead in the album, and started to show more normal pictures. Some of them still featured Jeremy, but he was more in the background, rather than in the forefront. They were all pictures of people: pictures of families, of strangers laughing together, of children fighting. Jeremy’s eyebrows rose. Although he had been present when Gavin had been taking the pictures, he hadn’t even realized that things like that had been going on around him. He could vaguely recall Gavin holding up outings to take pictures, chatting happily with various people he wanted to photograph, but nothing really beyond that.

“Humanity,” Ryan said quietly.

Gavin’s head snapped up. “What?”

“Your theme. It’s humanity, isn’t it?” Ryan tilted his head at the camera, currently displaying a picture of a smiling father clapping his son on the neck. “And yet, it’s more of a distant view on the subject, correct? The framing, the lack of light and color, the way you angled the camera – it’s as if you’re just an outsider noting the life around them in an almost clinical way, and still not quite understanding it. Like a disimpassioned child viewing the rest of the world from beyond a shut window.”

Jeremy’s mouth dropped, and he leaned over to squint at the picture again. It still just looked like a normal picture to him, albeit a nice one. But the more he looked at it, the more he realized that there was something odd about the way the perspective in the photo was handled. It made what should’ve been a cute picture more than a bit odd. Still, he would’ve never noticed if Ryan hadn’t pointed it out.

Gavin’s eyes were wide, and he looked speechless.

“It’s very good,” Ryan said warmly. “It’s clear you’re quite talented. I’m sure that with a bit of editing to dramatize it, you could really make a statement with these.”

“Oh,” Gavin said, flushing. “Thank you.”

Jeremy looked in between the two of them, eyebrows raised. Ryan was staring at Gavin intently again, like he was a puzzle he couldn’t quite figure out – that was relatable. And Gavin’s head was bowed, his cheeks a little red, and his brows pulled together. With a shock, Jeremy realized he had never seen Gavin blush like that before – he was usually the one causing the blushing.

Huh.

“Still, that’s quite the odd perspective to take,” Ryan continued, stepping closer to Gavin. “And a lonely one as well. I’ve always believed art is a window into the creator’s heart, would you agree with that?”

Gavin just stared at Ryan, his mouth tight. Tension was descending around them, and Jeremy gulped nervously.

“Hey, look at you two, understanding each other. You could be friends,” Jeremy grinned, slapping both of their backs, and effectively diffusing the pressure. Gavin smoothly ducked out of his way, sending him a confused look.

“While over-analyzing art is the whole part of this endeavor, I think we should probably do that inside, don’t you think?” Trevor pointed out. “My ass cheeks are going to positively freeze together.”

Ryan seemed to shake himself out of whatever reverie he was in. “Ah, right. Let’s go.”

They made their way towards the entrance of the building, pushing past groups of obnoxiously rich looking people. Jeremy made a face as a man literally sneered down at him as he shouldered past, like he was some sort of irritating bug. He adjusted his threadbare shirt awkwardly, suddenly feeling very out of place. The others seemed perfectly at home in the fancy atmosphere – all of them walking forward with grace and presence that he was sure he would never quite have. He rolled his eyes. Tall people were obnoxious enough on their own, but beautiful tall people were the actual worst.

 _Shit, this is fucking pretentious,_  Jeremy thought as they walked into the building. The walls were stark white, housing perfectly hung up paintings of all different qualities, lit up by strings of lanterns along the ceiling. Waiters milled about, distributing drinks and finger foods to the guests. There was even a piano player plinking along to some airy tune in the background.

Ryan turned back to him with a blinding smile. “It’s fun, right?” he said eagerly.

Jeremy blanched. “Oh yeah, definitely,” he said, and reached over to snag two glasses of champagne to slug down.

It actually wasn’t all that bad, all things considering. They wandered from art piece to art piece, each competing to give the most outlandish explanations behind the artist’s inspiration that they could give.

“Obviously, this is expressing the artist’s engrossing fetish for plums.” Trevor daintily swirled his drink as they stared at a painting of a fruit bowl. “Look at the sheen on it, the gentle brushstrokes curving across its fleshy fruit bosom. He wants it so bad it is consuming him entirely.”

“Oho, indubitably!” Jeremy said haughtily. “He wants that naughty plum inside him so deep he won’t know where man ends and fruit begins.”

They clinked glasses, chuckling heartily, and moved on to the next piece.

“This is obviously a complex metaphor about how we are all just giant baby heads,” Jeremy said, as they stared up a statue of a massive head of an infant, looming menacingly down at them. “Like, you just tear your skin back, and that’s all we are, in the end. Just a giant fucking floating baby head.”

“Ah, yes!” Ryan announced, clutching at his heart. “It is now all so clear, if only I had known such a thing before!”

They all gave Gavin an expectant look as they arrived the next art piece – a simple one of a couple sitting in a park.

“Mm, it’s really nice,” Gavin said quietly, his head tilted as he stared at it. “Like someone’s head sprouted out another head and then they painted it with their tongue, yeah?”

A silence fell upon the group as they all struggled to comprehend what the hell Gavin had just said.

“Oh, I see,” Ryan said, snapping his fingers. “You’re talking about how the brushstrokes are watered down and wavery, correct? Such an effect gives the piece a more dream-like appearance.”

“How the fuck did you get that?” Jeremy snorted.

But Gavin was staring up at Ryan with shocked eyes again. “Yeah, that’s what I meant,” he said quietly.

Jeremy looked in between the both of him, excitement bubbling up in him. This mood was perfect – he just needed to come in with the big guns now.

“You know, Gavin’s actually an incredibly smart person,” Jeremy started casually, turning to Ryan. “Like he even understands how electric toothbrushes work. It’s pretty amazing.”

“Oh, that’s nice?” Ryan said, looking a little lost. “What kind of education do you have?”

“All of the education, obviously,” Jeremy cut in. “He went to…Oxford, of course. Where else could you learn about toothbrushes?”

Gavin was staring at Jeremy now, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Jeremy avoided his glare to slap a hand on Ryan’s shoulder.

“Ah, that’s pretty impressive,” Ryan said, nodding at Gavin. “What did you study?”

“More like, what didn’t he study?” Jeremy said, elbowing Gavin cheekily. “Uh, he did physics, fucking engineering or some shit, and even uh…oceans or something, yeah.”

Ryan’s eyebrows raised. “That’s something else. It must’ve been a lot of work.”

“And not only that,” Jeremy said, motioning dramatically at Gavin, like some sort of auctioneer. “But he’s also incredibly funny as well. Gav, you should tell Ryan the joke you told me the other day, the one about the manatee and banana?”

Gavin glared at him. “I’ve forgotten that one,” he said flatly.

Jeremy burst out laughing. “Oh, you! He’s such a joker. You would find everything he says super interesting, Ryan. You guys should totally-”

“Jeremy, we need to talk,” Gavin said stiffly. He grabbed Jeremy’s hand and yanked him away.

“Do you think that’s their form of foreplay?” Trevor’s voice trailed off behind him.

Gavin tugged him towards a more abandoned corner of the venue. He spun Jeremy around and crossed his arms.

“What’s all this?” he asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeremy said innocently, way too happy to be the cheeky one for once. Oh, how the tables had turned.

Gavin’s jaw clenched. “If you’re doing what I think you are, you need to lay off it. I’m not here to get involved with any of this.”

“Look, Gav,” Jeremy said, putting up his hands. “I know you’re upset with Ryan for whatever reason, but I know you guys can get along if you just-”

“Jeremy,” Gavin said shortly. “Me and him can never get along.”

“Well, sure, he’s an angel and all, but he’s a nice guy, too, and you guys would-”

Gavin burst out laughing. “Oh, Jeremy. Sometimes I almost feel bad for you,” he wheezed. “That Ryan…he’s not exactly what he seems. I want nothing more than you two to get together, of course, but you should really watch yourself around him - he’s dangerous.”

Jeremy looked over at the man in question, who was currently doing some sort of dorky dad-like dance – head bobs and all – while Trevor watched on in amused horror. “Right,” he mumbled, eyebrow raised. “Somehow, I think I’ll be okay.”

Gavin put his hands on his hips. “Will you, now? You do realize Ryan’s in love with you, right? Don’t you remember what I said about an angel’s love?”

Jeremy stopped in his tracks, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. “That’s not-”

“The whole reason I let you find out about his secret was so you could figure that out,” Gavin said. “And yet, you still refuse to acknowledge it. Why?”

“What?” Jeremy hissed. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Gavin put a frustrated hand to his head. “Jeremy, listen. Before, he was perfectly fine to put you off with someone else because of what he was. But now that you know and you’ve accepted him, there’s no reason for him to hold back anymore. No reason except for me.”

Jeremy could feel his heart hammering against his chest. “Yeah, but he’s not…there’s no way,” he finished lamely.

“Christ.” Gavin rolled his eyes. Then, his gaze focused on something above his shoulder, and a crooked smirk grew on his face. “Watch this,” he said, and he pulled Jeremy into a kiss.

Jeremy’s eyes almost bulged out of his head. The kiss was light – only the slightest press of lips, but he was pretty sure his heart stopped working for a second.

Gavin pulled back, letting out a bright laugh. “Look,” he said, spinning him around. Across the room, Ryan was staring at them with wide eyes, his wine glass in shards at his feet. When he noticed their attention, he jerked up, and dove haphazardly for the pieces scattered on the ground, nearly knocking a concerned waiter on their ass.

“Aww, poor thing,” Gavin sighed. “Must be at the end of his rope. Are you really gonna let him keep suffering like this, Jeremy? He wants you so much, you know. He’s trying so hard to be the bigger person, but I wonder how long that can last? It’s sad, really, how he’s pretending he’s changed, when really…Jeremy, are you even listening?”

Jeremy, who had been staring absently at Gavin’s lips, jolted in embarrassment. “What? Oh yeah, I was totally listening. You said many words, and I heard every single one of them.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow in exasperation. “Do you even see what I showed you?”

“You mean Ryan dropping his drink like a clumsy idiot? Yeah, that was pretty funny.”

Gavin clapped a hand to his head, like he wasn’t whether to laugh or cry. “Jeremy, you…you really need to pull yourself together.”

Jeremy flushed. “Fuck you, I’m one hundred percent together. You just…took me surprise, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry for springing that on you,” Gavin said, crossing his arms. “But you don’t need to worry. I won’t do it again.”

Gavin was turning away, his face cold and distant again, and Jeremy’s heart jumped.

“Wait,” he called, reaching out. But Gavin deftly moved out of his way without even looking, like he had predicted what he was going to do.

“All that matters is you and him,” Gavin said, voice detached. “I’m not in this equation at all – I’m only an obstacle, nothing else. Do you understand? I don’t matter.”

“But you do matter,” Jeremy said immediately, without even thinking. For the slightest second, Gavin froze. Then, he was striding forward again, disappearing back into the crowd, back towards the others.

Jeremy looked at his outstretched hand in shock, and clutched it back to his chest. What the hell had he been about to say to Gavin? Come back, I actually really want you to do it again, or something idiotic like that? He was so fucking stupid. He sighed loudly, scrubbing a hand across his face.

What was even going on anymore?

 

* * *

 

The rest of the night progressed kind of awkwardly.

Ryan seemed ten times more enthusiastic about everything, passionately monologuing about every single art piece they saw, and almost dragging Gavin around the venue in his excitement. But even Jeremy could tell there was something off about his happiness, something strained to every smile he flashed. Gavin, on the other hand, was much more closed off, barely responding at all as Ryan rattled off pointless fact after fact. Poor Trevor was completely left behind in the dust with Jeremy, and he sent him many confused looks, all of which he pointedly ignored.

“What the hell’s going on over there?” Trevor murmured, motioning over to where Ryan had slung an arm around Gavin’s thin shoulders as he brightly explained about the history of polytheistic pottery making.

“The guy really likes pots,” Jeremy shrugged. He couldn’t even tell if his plan to get the two of them closer had worked or had completely backfired. The day he understood either Ryan or Gavin would be the day he instantly imploded, probably. Maybe all celestial beings were incomprehensible weirdos, he didn’t know.

Near the end of the venue, Jeremy realized that Gavin wasn’t following them anymore. He turned around to see that he had come to a stop in front of a painting, frozen in place, his eyes wide.

“Ah, The Lament of Icarus,” Ryan mused, coming up behind him to look at the painting. “A rather common cautionary tale about humility, and yet, his failure and death is depicted in such a romantic way. Beautiful, isn’t it?”

But Gavin was still staring intently at the painting, eyebrows pulling together, a strange expression in his eyes. Ryan’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and he put a hand on his shoulder.

“Gavin, I want to speak with you,” he said, and turned to Jeremy. “Alone. Is that okay?”

“What?” Jeremy blinked rapidly. “Oh, I get it. Yeah, sure, we’ll make ourselves scarce.” He grabbed Trevor’s arm and yanked him away, his jaw tight. He sent one glance behind him to see Ryan pull Gavin to the side, his expression serious.

“Do they, uh…know each other, or what?” Trevor asked as they skidded to a stop at the other side of the venue.

“Huh?” Jeremy’s eyebrows raised. “Well, they did meet before at Ryan’s party, but they didn’t really talk much, or get along too well.”

“Hmm, how mysterious!” Trevor commented, tapping his chin. “Their relationship seems quite complicated for people that have met twice.”

“You think?” Jeremy asked quietly. He glanced back over to see that Ryan and Gavin were talking intently, heads close together, and Ryan’s hand still on Gavin’s shoulder. For some reason, as he watched, his chest felt painfully tight.

Trevor threw him a sideways glance, and a smirk grew on his face. “So, which one are you jealous over?” he said cheekily.

Jeremy jolted, whirling around in shock. “What? Neither of them, of course. Jealous, me?” He choked out a semi-hysterical laugh. “No, what the fuck is even wrong with you? How would I even…no, no, what the fuck.”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Trevor said solemnly.

“Methinks the Trevor doth shut the fuck up,” Jeremy shot back.

Trevor held his hands up in surrender. “That’s fair. I was just joking, you know.”

“Right,” Jeremy grumbled into his drink. He wearily rolled his tense shoulders. It felt like everything was starting to get on his nerves – maybe he needed to invest in yoga.

“So, what’s been going on with you these past weeks?” Trevor said conversationally, leaning up against the wall. “As much as I’ve heard from everyone else, your life has devolved in quite the mess these days.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I bet the ‘Jeremy is a disaster shithead’ group chat is really popping off lately.”

Trevor put a shocked hand over his mouth. “Oh my! You know about that?”

“Yeah, because Jack ‘accidentally’ invited me in one time. Fuck you guys.”

“Aww, Jeremy,” Trevor cooed, pulling him into a side-hug. “We just want our beautiful little boy to be happy, that’s all.”

Jeremy irritably shook him off. “Yeah, totally not because you all get a kick out of me constantly tripping over my own dick, or anything like that,” he muttered.

“But really,” Trevor continued, expression going serious. “How are things? Have any cat problems?”

“Cat problems?” Jeremy gaped at him in confusion for a bit, before realization hit him. “Oh shit, right. Yeah, that’s all been fine. He’s uh…a little bit of handful, but it’s all good.” He had all but completely forgotten about that insufferable conversation he had with Trevor the day after he first summoned Gavin. God, so much had changed since then. It was kind of funny to think how genuinely frightened of Gavin he had been.

And now…well. Things were complicated, to say the least.

“Really? They haven’t been causing you any trouble at all?” Trevor persisted, something intent in his stare.

“Well, it’d be more concerning if a cat wasn’t causing trouble,” Jeremy mumbled sullenly, taking another swig of his champagne.

“And what about love problems?” Trevor said, inclining his head towards Ryan and Gavin. “You can tell me anything you know, I won’t judge much. Matt’s worried about you.”

Any automatic retorts that had been rising up inside of him immediately died down at the mention of Matt’s name. Suddenly, he couldn’t help but recall the hurt expression Matt had worn as he snubbed him on the day of the party, and his stomach dropped. They hadn’t talked at all since that. He looked up at Trevor, and his gaze was warm and steadying, just as it had always been over all their years of friendship. Something in his chest loosened.

“Trevor, I made a mistake,” Jeremy said hurriedly, before he could think about it too much.

Trevor’s eyebrows raised. “A mistake?”

“Yeah, like a really fucking stupid mistake,” Jeremy continued. “I thought I’d be able to fix it, but somehow, I made it worse, and then I got completely stuck with it, and then things got even more worse. But then, I kinda got used to the mistake, and it wasn’t that bad anymore, and I…I know I probably should do something about it, and that it’s only gonna end up fucking me over, but I don’t even want to anymore, and I just…” He trailed off, peeking over at Ryan and Gavin. His chest squeezed, and he put a hand on his head. “I’m just…really fucking confused.”

“I’ll fix everything.”

Jeremy looked up, shocked. Trevor’s jaw was set in determination, and his eyes were hard.

“What…do you mean?” he said carefully.

“I’ll fix this mistake for you,” Trevor said. “You won’t have to be confused anymore.”

“What?” Jeremy shook his head. “You don’t even know what I’m talking about.”

Trevor put both of his hands on his shoulders. “Just trust me. Everything will be okay soon.”

He squinted up at Trevor’s sure expression, then loosed out a long sigh. “Sure, fine. Whatever you say, I guess.”

Trevor smiled as he released him, giving a short pat on the back. Then, his gaze flicked above his head. “Uh, oh. Looks like there’s trouble in paradise. Should we intervene?”

Jeremy followed his line of sight to see Ryan and Gavin currently locked in some sort of argument. Ryan was gesturing wildly, something pleading in his expression, and Gavin was stepping backwards, his head shaking back and forth. A crowd of people was gathering around them, tittering in excitement.

“Oh, fuck. Yeah, let’s go check it out,” Jeremy said nervously. What the hell had they even been talking about?

They quickly made their way back across the room, anxiety building in Jeremy’s stomach. As they shouldered through the crowd, Ryan and Gavin’s voices became clear.

“I know it’s true,” Ryan was saying, reaching out to grab Gavin’s sleeve. “I just…can’t put my finger on it yet, but I-”

“And as I said before, you’re mistaken,” Gavin hissed, ripping his way out his grasp. Then, his irritated gaze zeroed in on Jeremy, and he yanked him forward, shoving him into Ryan’s arms. “And just so you know, we were never in a relationship. We just pretended that to make you jealous.” He glared at the two of them, breathing hard.

“Gav,” Jeremy started, heart pounding.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Gavin said, and stormed off.

Jeremy watched him go, mouth open in shock. Ryan’s hands were tight on his arms.

“Oh, would you look at the time!” Trevor said awkwardly, looking at his bare wrist. “It’s time for me to use the restroom as well, what a coincidence. Our bladders must be conveniently synchronized or something like that. Farewell!” He scurried off after Gavin.

An awkward, tense silence fell over them as Trevor and Gavin disappeared. The crowd around them slowly dispersed, but Jeremy remained frozen, too afraid to turn around and look at Ryan.

“What…just happened?” Jeremy stuttered. “What were you guys fighting about?”

“I misunderstood something again, that’s all,” Ryan said shortly. “But, what he said…is that true?”

Jeremy slumped, cold resignation sinking into his bones. Ryan gently turned him around to face him, his eyes searching, and Jeremy sighed.

“We…should talk, huh,” Jeremy said quietly. Ryan just nodded.

Jeremy felt hot humiliation sting his cheeks as Ryan pulled him away. What the fuck was Gavin’s problem? Acting so strange and then just throwing him to the wolves just like that? Was that one of his twisted plans, then – embarrass the shit out of him so Ryan would feel bad or whatever? He desperately needed to think of some sort of lie or excuse he could tell to get himself out of this, but his mind was just panicked static at this point.

Ryan toted him to some sort of abandoned corner down a hallway in the back of the venue. It was a dead end, and Ryan stood in front of him, effectively trapping him in. Nowhere to hide this time, Jeremy thought dryly.

“So?” Ryan prodded.

Jeremy straightened and crossed his arms, frantically trying to scrap together any sort of dignity. Ryan felt like he was towering over him, and his face was terrifyingly unreadable.

“Yeah, it’s the truth. What of it?” Jeremy said, lifting his chin stubbornly. Fuck it, he didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t as if this would change Ryan’s opinion on him at all.

“You two pretended to be together,” Ryan said slowly.

Jeremy’s face flamed, and he tilted his head up higher. “Yup. It happens.”

“To make me jealous.”

Jeremy’s arms tightened around himself. “Look, it was Gavin’s idea, not mine. It was a fucking stupid plan, and I already knew how you’d feel about all this. So sorry for everything, I know it’s dumb. I just…fuck.” He made a move to dart around Ryan, his will already crumbled, but Ryan was like an unmovable wall.

“So, you two aren’t together,” Ryan stated, voice flat. Jeremy sent him a nervous look. Was he upset? His expression was still just as unfathomable.

“Weren’t you listening? No, we’re not together.”

“But you and Gavin,” Ryan said slowly. “You two really seemed…”

“Nope, all fake,” Jeremy said, irritation rising up in him.

“I see.”

Ryan was just kind of staring at him, and Jeremy shifted awkwardly.

“Um, this pretty fucking embarrassing,” Jeremy said. “So, uh, I think I’m just gonna go now and never talk to you again, okay bye.” He made another attempt to push past Ryan, but he might as well have been shoving up against a mountain with how little he moved.

“I see,” Ryan repeated, and he broke eye contact to look down, a relieved smile growing on his lips.

“Uh, Ryan, buddy? You’re kinda in the way here,” Jeremy pointed out. “I don’t mind calling a cab or whatever. I just need to get home so I can die alone in a hole, no big deal.”

“Oh, sorry.” Ryan shuffled out of his way. Then, he shook himself. “No, wait. Jeremy, I have something for you.” He fumbled with his pockets for a minute before he pulled out his wallet.

Jeremy’s eyes went wide. “Are you fucking giving me money? If you think this gonna make things less weird, you are one hundred percent correct. But, you know, it’s not necessary.”

“Not that,” Ryan chuckled, and shoved two folded up pieces of paper into his hands. “I meant to give this to you the day of my party, but, ah…you and Gavin were…well, you know.”

Jeremy gave him a confused look, then unfolded one of the slips to squint at it. His mouth dropped open. “Holy shit, are these wrestling tickets? Ryan, that’s so awesome, what the fuck. I’ve always wanted to go to one of those.” He turned them over and over in his grasp, amazed.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Ryan said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s funny that I kept it, right? But I couldn’t really get myself to get rid of them. I guess I really wanted to go with you.”

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Since when have you been interested in wrestling?”

“I’m not,” Ryan laughed. “But I’m interested in you.”

It was Jeremy’s turn to stare. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. “You, uh…what?”

“I want to take you on a date,” Ryan said, and his expression was so earnest that Jeremy’s mouth went dry.

“A date,” Jeremy repeated dumbly. “Between us two?”

Ryan looked around them. “I mean, I don’t see anyone else here. But this broom has definitely caught my eye as well, so who knows.”

“Wait, are you being serious?”

Ryan sobered up, fixing him with a steady look. “Very much so. This might be a bit sudden, but I don’t want to miss my chance again.”

“What the actual fuck,” was all Jeremy could think to say.

“I realize it might be strange, considering I’m not…entirely human. But I at least want to try, despite everything. Seems I’ve gotten quite selfish these days.” He scratched at his cheek shyly.

“Fuck, Ryan, I don’t care at all about the angel thing,” Jeremy said, head spinning. “It’s just that…this is all so…” He trailed off, completely baffled. Part of him was convinced he was hallucinating.

“I know you don’t care,” Ryan said, and his eyes shone with such indescribable fondness that Jeremy felt part of himself crumble away. “I don’t deserve your acceptance, but I got it anyway. I can’t even explain how much that meant to me. Jeremy, I…” He took a step forward, then seemed to catch himself, physically shaking his head. “I don’t want to overwhelm you or anything like that. I just think I should make my intentions clear, that’s all.”

“Romantic intentions,” Jeremy stated, just to be sure.

“Yes, exactly that,” Ryan said warmly. “So, what do you say?”

I should say no, Jeremy thought, stunned. I have to say no.

“Hell yeah,” he burst out instead, because he was a fucking moron.

An ecstatic grin bubbled up on Ryan’s face, and he surged forward to grasp at Jeremy’s arms. “That’s good. That’s really good,” he exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Jeremy breathed, looking helplessly up at Ryan’s bright eyes. “I have no idea what the fuck just happened.”

Ryan laughed: a bright, airy sound. “I can’t wait. There’s a lot I need to tell you; I hope you’ll listen to me then.”

“Of course,” Jeremy said. “Honestly, you could read out the fucking phonebook and I’d listen to you. And that’s pretty big compliment coming from…uh, hey, Ryan? You’re glowing there a bit. Like literally glowing.”

Ryan looked down at his body in shock to see that it was producing a small amount of light. “Oh, oops,” he said, flushing. “Sorry, I was just really happy.” He cleared his throat a couple times, and the light eventually died down. “I should probably leave now, before I…I should probably go.”

He turned away and stiffly walked down the hallway. Then, he froze and made an abrupt about-face, quickly making his way back to Jeremy.

“I just remembered I drove you here,” he said awkwardly.

Jeremy burst out laughing. “It’s okay, man, you can go. I was gonna call a ride so I could take Trevor and Gavin out, anyway.”

“Oh, alright then,” Ryan said. But Jeremy noticed that at the mention of Gavin’s name, a small shadow passed across his face. His eyes narrowed.

“You and Gavin,” Jeremy said slowly. “Is everything…what’s going on between you two?” He meant the words to sound offhand, but they came out pretty suspiciously instead.

Ryan looked away, face pensive. “I wonder that myself,” he said quietly. “Jeremy…do you ever have a song stuck in your head, but you can only vaguely remember part of the melody, but not near enough to get a grasp on it?”

“Yeah, totally,” Jeremy agreed. “God, that’s the absolute worst. Like you can’t even look it up or anything like that cause you don’t have shit, so it’s just stuck in your head forever and you kind of wanna blow your brains out.”

“Yes, it’s exactly that,” Ryan said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “Like a dream within a dream, perhaps, something intangible and fleeting – infinitely frustrating, and yet infinitely intriguing.” Ryan trailed off, his expression faraway, his eyes staring out into a picture Jeremy couldn’t see.

“Uh, what are we talking about again?” Jeremy said, scratching his head in confusion. “You reciting poetry, or what? You’ve lost me.”

But Ryan just smiled a strange smile, patting Jeremy’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Sure,” Jeremy said, biting down his disappointment. Ryan gave him one last look before he disappeared down the hallway.

As soon as he left, Jeremy hefted out a loud groan and slammed his head against the wall.

Well, it was official: he was the dumbest person in the world.

He had to be super drunk or high or something – there was no way the past five minutes had just happened. It was all so genuinely baffling that he couldn’t even begin to wrap his mind around it. Had he seriously just agreed to a date, with fucking Ryan of all people, the guy he had been stupidly pining after for literal years, that was so out of his league he didn’t even let himself fantasize about something happening? There was no fucking way.

And even if it was hypothetically true, by some miracle, that Ryan was interested in him, then why the hell did he turn him down so vehemently before? He couldn’t have just randomly changed his mind on him. Unless -

Jeremy’s eyes went wide as a realization hit him. That was what Gavin had been trying to tell him earlier – the reason Ryan had turned him down was because he was an angel, not because he didn’t like him. And suddenly, everything made sense – the pained looks, the guilt Ryan had as he told him that they could only be friends, the reason why Gavin wanted to expose Ryan in the first place.

Longing. That was the expression that Jeremy had seen on Ryan’s face the night of the Halloween party, that he had been too afraid to identify.

But there was no way – no fucking way.

He had to be misinterpreting things, jumping way ahead in his conclusions. But what if he wasn’t? What if Ryan was really in love with him – just as everyone had been telling him, just as he himself had been starting to suspect? He suddenly recalled all the awkward stutters and flushed faces and half-aborted touches, all of the obvious signs he had always found convenient excuses for.

Jeremy knocked his head against the wall again, groaning. He was so stupid it was sickening. Or maybe Ryan was the stupid one for supposedly becoming interested in him – how the hell had that even come about? And since when? Was he just a masochist, or what?

But he was starting to get way ahead of himself. There was one glaring issue with all of this: the fact that if he and Ryan did somehow get together, Gavin would get his soul.

Immediately, he felt himself shutter down, all his frantic excitement petering away. Right. For things to work out that perfectly would be impossible – there always was a catch.

Fuck, everything was such a complicated mess.

He needed to stop thinking about everything for now – he knew he would just end up over-analyzing himself into a hole. All it really came down to was this: if Ryan was actually somehow interested in him, then he would have to turn him down, for the sake of his soul. And if Ryan wasn’t actually interested in him, then that was just what he expected, in the end. There was no outcome where they could happily end up together skipping into the sunset, he had to realize that.

His chest wrenched painfully, and he sighed slowly. God, everything kind of sucked.

Well, at least Gavin would be excited about this idiotic development, if anything. He was sure this whole night had probably been part of one of his plans as well – and for once, it had actually worked.

But it was strange - as he thought about Gavin, he had an odd feeling niggling at him – something akin to guilt. Which was a really dumb thing to feel, considering this was all Gavin wanted, as he loved to make sure Jeremy knew. But even knowing that, the feeling wouldn’t quite go away, settling like cold stones in the pit of his stomach. He shook himself, pushing all of his circling thoughts away. He needed to find Gavin, so they could get out of here, first of all. He could worry about the rest of all the nonsense later.

Jeremy grumbled sullenly to himself as he stepped back into the venue. He scanned the heads around, but neither Gavin or Trevor were anywhere in sight. Were they still in the bathroom?

But the bathrooms were conspicuously empty as well, and he pursed his lips in confusion. He pulled his phone to call Trevor, but it went straight to voicemail again. Fucking Trevor. He swore that he had somehow blocked his number or something like that – he was totally that kind of asshole.

A man was slumped up against the door to the bathroom, so Jeremy bent down next to him.

“Hey, have you seen a guy come through here?” he asked. “Scrawny, tan, and wearing a black sweater?”

“Oh yeah, I saw a guy like that,” the man said, grinning dopily. “Some tall pretty boy ran in to pull him outside all passionate like.” He pointed over at a door at the end of the hallway. “I bet I can guess what they’re up to now.” He waggled his eyebrows. 

Jeremy blanched – that had to be Trevor, then. Why the hell had they gone outside?

“And I can bet that you’re wrong,” Jeremy said dryly. “But, uh, thanks.” He started towards the door, sighing wearily.

“Aw, are you going to join in on the fun?” the man called out. “You should be careful. Things aren’t always what they seem, ya know.” Jeremy turned back to give the man a baleful look, but something in the way the guy’s hooded eyes glinted at him made him pause.

“Um, sure,” he said nervously. The guy flashed another lazy grin up at him, and his eyes slitted close as he began to happily hum some old 80’s song. Jeremy sent him one last puzzled look, before shaking himself and turning to open the door. Rich people were the weirdest, really.

Freezing air settled around him like a stinging cloud as he made his way outside, and he irritably slung his jacket back on. He was standing in some sort of strange alleyway – dark and abandoned. Were Trevor and Gavin really out here? Or was that weird man just sending him out to get stabbed? Nervously, he clutched his phone tight to his chest and began to walk down the alley, kicking trash and scrap out of his way.

Or, what if Trevor and Gavin were really ‘together’, just as the man had not so subtly suggested? It was such a ridiculous thought, but somehow, he couldn’t get himself to laugh. Gavin had been so staunchly avoiding his touch this past week. What if he was running low on his demon powers, but was so disgusted by him that he’d resort to getting them from any other person besides him? He slapped at his frozen cheeks, banishing his petty thoughts away. Gavin was right – he really did need to pull himself together. 

As he made his way down the alley, the soft, familiar cantor of voices reached his ear from around the corner. He immediately brightened and quickened his pace.

“Oh, come now,” came Gavin’s voice, low and breathy. “Are you sure you want this?”

“I really do,” Trevor responded, voice equally as low.

Jeremy froze in place, his jaw dropping. Holy shit, was that man right? They were actually…? He felt his entire body flush, and he spun around in a frantic circle. He was a step away from tearing his ears out and fleeing down the alley, when Gavin’s soft voice returned.

“You and I both know there’s no point to this. Do it, and I’ll only come back angrier.” He laughed lightly. “I’ll play along now, but there isn’t anything merciful about me when I’m angry, or when there’s something in my way.”

Jeremy stopped in his tracks, confusion flooding him. Wait a second – that wasn’t right. What the hell were they talking about? He turned around, creeping back towards the corner.

“See, I would be afraid, if I hadn’t learned quite the interesting trick in Italy,” Trevor said. “I stayed there longer to learn it just for you, don’t you feel special? All I have to is say a few magic words and wave my wand you’ll be gone forever, with no hold over him.”

“Ah, if only it were that easy,” Gavin sighed. “But go on and do it, then, if it’ll make you feel better.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened in terror. No, no, this wasn’t right at all. Dread burning in his stomach, he lunged forward, rounding the corner in two bounding steps. Then, as he took in the sight in front of him, he stiffened to an abrupt stop.

Gavin was leaning up against the alley wall, arms crossed, and looking far more bored than he had any right to be. But Trevor was standing across from him, one hand holding an open book, pulsing red energy, and the other hand holding a sleek, silver gun.

“Sorry, little kitty,” Trevor said, flashing an apologetic grin. “But I can’t let you keep your claws in my friend any longer.”

Then, he lifted the gun, and pointed it right at Gavin’s head.


	9. Teamwork Makes the Nightmare Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is surprisingly complicated for a story i created with the express purpose of not being complicated. But I feel like that's just what happens whenever i write anything? I am my own worst enemy, basically. Also sorry for the weird ending! Ended up having to chop this chapter in half because it was getting way too wild, if you can believe that.  
> Well, anyway, please enjoy <3

Jeremy stared horrified at the scene in front of him, his heart in his throat, praying that he had somehow stumbled upon the set to a television show. But Trevor’s finger twitched on the gun’s trigger, and reality abruptly crashed down around him.

“What the actual fuck is going on here?” Jeremy burst out.

Trevor spun around, his eyes wide in shock, and his arm holding the gun lowering a bit.

“Jeremy?” he gasped. “How did you…?” Then, he whirled to face Gavin again, face tight with accusation. “You called him here.”

“Mm, not quite,” Gavin yawned, not looking surprised by the intervention in the slightest. “I think you should know by now that your Jeremy has quite the talent for being where he shouldn’t be.”

Trevor glared at Gavin, and whipped the gun up again. “I’m sorry, Jeremy, but this is for your own good.”

“Are you being serious?” Jeremy shot forward and threw himself in front of Gavin, his arms held out protectively. “Trevor, put the goddamn gun down, what the fuck is wrong with you? What the hell is going on?”

A muscle in Trevor’s jaw twitched, but the gun stayed trained on them. “Jeremy, get out of the way. He’s a demon - you shouldn’t be protecting him.”

Jeremy’s jaw went slack. “That…how do you know that?”

“Don’t you remember? You told me yourself,” Trevor said, eyebrow raised. “Well, you didn’t tell me who, exactly, but it wasn’t entirely hard to put the pieces together.”

“Oh, fuck,” Jeremy groaned, putting a hand on his head. “I totally did tell you, didn’t I? I thought you were just being a dumbass. But Trevor, look, there’s still no need to fucking shoot him. This is too much - put the gun down.”

“Jeremy, that thing is trying to take your soul,” Trevor said, disdain heavy in his voice. “It doesn’t care for you at all.”

“I know that!” Jeremy said, breathing hard, his hands tightening into fists. “I know that, okay? But I still can’t let you hurt him.”

Trevor stepped back, his arm dropping to his side. “Jeremy,” he said, voice hushed with shock. “How…how far gone are you?”

There was a gust of air behind him, and suddenly Gavin was standing in front of Trevor, wresting the gun from his grip.

“Ah, there we are,” he sighed, dancing out of Trevor’s way. “Nasty bit of machinery, innit? You were really aiming to blow a hole right in my gullet. How ruthless.” He spun it over in his hands, his eyes glinting with appreciation. Then, he tightened his grip, and the gun dissolved into ash.

“Shit!” Trevor jumped back, frantically flipping through his book. “Azael, come!”

The alley pulsed red, and Trevor’s goat demon clawed its way out of the wall, smoke unfurling off its form. Jeremy’s blood ran cold. He had seen Trevor’s current summon in pictures before, but seeing it in person was a whole new type of horrifying. It was fucking massive – a hulking form of tightened muscle and bulk, with blue flames dancing across its elongated horns. Its horizontally slit pupils immediately zeroed in on him, and Jeremy could feel its stare like a fist around his throat, freezing him in place.

“What is this, fucking Pokémon?” Jeremy said, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice. “Trevor, put your damn demon away.”

“Jeremy, you need to leave,” Trevor said. “It won’t be able to concentrate in your presence. I didn’t want to do this, but he left me no choice.”

“There are plenty of other choices!” Jeremy shot back. “We could go for a friendly picnic and discuss things like civilized people instead of resorting to a fucking demon fight to the death, what the fuck!”

“All civility was gone the moment that thing decided to take your soul,” Trevor said coldly. He turned to his demon and motioned towards Gavin. “Take him out.”

“Jesus Christ, Trevor,” Jeremy cried, giving his friend a horrified look. “Listen to me – you need to stop.”

But Trevor just shook his head, his eyes hard and distant. His demon was still staring at Jeremy, huffing out little puffs of air through its snout, its eyes glowing brighter and brighter. Then, Gavin stepped in front of him, blocking its line of sight.

“Bring it on, then,” Gavin said, flexing his hands out into sharpened claws. “I’ve been itching for a good scrap lately, anyway. The human world is just so dreadfully boring sometimes.”

“Now!” Trevor barked.

In a blinding flash of light, the goat demon barreled forward like a possessed linebacker, shoving Gavin to the ground. With a sickening cracking noise, Gavin’s head collided with the pavement, shattering the concrete below him in an explosion of dust and rubble.

“Holy fuck!” Jeremy exclaimed.

Gavin let out a sharp laugh, shoving the other demon off of him. “You’re a nasty one, aren’t you? This’ll be fun.” He rolled his shoulders, and his dark wings unfolded out of his back. Then, he shot forward again, slamming into the goat demon in a dark blur of movement.

“Shit!” Jeremy frantically spun around and wrested a lid from a garbage can. He started forward, brandishing the lid above him and preparing to bring it down on the demon’s head, when Trevor yanked him back.

“Jeremy, don’t get involved with this,” he hissed, pulling him away. “This is what has to be done.”

“Let me go!” Jeremy attempted to wrest himself from Trevor’s grasp, but his grip was like iron. “Have you lost your goddamn mind?”

“You do realize you’re the one trying to protect a literal demon, here, right?” Trevor pointed out, his hands tightening around him. “That thing’s just been getting in your head this whole time, twisting up your feelings, making you think you care about it. After this is all over, you’ll see clearly again.”

“I can already clearly see that you’re a fucking dumbass,” Jeremy said. “Now let me go before I show you what the inside of your asshole looks like.”

“How much of yourself have you given to him?” Trevor shouted. “Your name, your past, who you are, how many pieces of your soul have you handed to him already?”

“What?” Jeremy exclaimed. “Trevor, I’m not afraid to fucking deck you – let  _go_  of me.”

Gavin and the other demon were almost a blur of limbs and flashing claws. In one second, they were shoved up against the alley wall, Gavin’s elbow at its neck, then the next they were on the ground, the goat demon clutching at Gavin’s arms. There was no way to tell who had the upper hand, and everything was moving too quickly for him to get a grip on anything. All he could he think about was the fear in Gavin’s eyes the night they got ambushed by the hellhound, and he felt panic claw its way up his throat.

“Trevor, please,” he pleaded, twisting Trevor’s arm to grab urgently at his shoulders. “Call this off. There’s no need for any of this.”

But Trevor wasn’t even listening to him anymore, his eyes glazed over as he watched the fight unfold in front of him. He flipped open his glowing book, muttering out some strange words that Jeremy couldn’t understand. Then, there was a spark of red light, and Gavin let out a shout of pain, falling to his knees. The other demon, seeing its chance, slammed into Gavin, sending him sprawling to the floor.

“Gavin!” Jeremy cried out.

The goat demon raised its fist over Gavin’s head, and Jeremy’s eyes went wide. Adrenaline surged through his body, and he shoved Trevor away, bolting towards the two demons.

“Jeremy, stop!” Trevor yelled.

Ignoring Trevor’s frantic protests, he pulled his arm back and punched the demon square in the face. The goat head snapped back with the impact, spattering black ichor.

“Take that, you dumb fuck,” Jeremy said, grinning wildly.

Those yellow eyes snapped to his, and Jeremy’s blood went cold.

Suddenly, a muscled arm slammed into his torso with all the force of a boulder, sending him flying backward. With a resounding crash, he impacted with the wall behind him. White exploded in his vision, and all of his breath rushed out of his lungs in a torrent. He slumped to the ground, stars dancing in his eyes, his hands clutching desperately at his chest as he struggled to catch his breath.

Through his shattered vision, he could see the goat demon making its way over to him, and he hurriedly attempted to pull himself up, his arms going up defensively. But before he could do that, a massive hand bunched up in his shirt, and he was slammed against the wall again, hard. The stars in his eyes went supernova as pain burst through him. A shadow crossed over his body as the goat demon bent down in front of him, its yellow eyes flashing as its hand closed around his throat.

“Shit! Azael, come back!” Trevor called, slamming his book close.

But the demon just leaned in closer, gusting hot puffs of air across his face, and its other hand slowly reaching out to his chest.

“Do not touch him.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Jeremy saw a dark shape rise up. Gavin slowly stalked forward, his dark wings spreading out behind him. The goat demon froze, its eyes widening in raw terror. It made a move to stumble backward, but it never made it that far. In one swift movement, Gavin threw the demon to the side, as easily as it were a ball of crumpled paper. It crashed into a dumpster with a booming clang of metal.

“You think you can just hurt him like that, in front of me?” Gavin said, voice low and dangerous. He stepped leisurely towards the other demon, then leaned down to push his foot on its chest. The goat demon made some sort of terrified wheezing noise, its hands scrabbling frantically for purchase against the concrete floor.

“Aww, poor thing,” Gavin tutted. “You don’t even know who I am, do you? But now you’ve pissed me off, and not even hell will accept something like you.”

“Oh my,” Trevor said quietly. His book slid out of his hands with an audible thunk to the floor. Jeremy tried to make sense of the scene in front of him, but his head was throbbing painfully, and he couldn’t quite get his eyes to focus. The more he stared at Gavin, the more his figure seemed to warp and twist, like some sort of hazy nightmare.

The goat demon was talking now in that strange, demonic, backwards language, and even though Jeremy couldn’t understand it, he could tell there was something pleading to it.

“Oops, too late. I don’t care anymore,” Gavin laughed humorlessly. “This stopped being fun and games when you involved him. Let’s have tea together sometime in the bottom layer, yeah?” Gavin slammed his foot down, and the demon burst into ash.

A cold silence fell upon the alley, and Gavin’s head whipped back towards him, his dark wings folding away.

“Jeremy!” Gavin knelt down in front of him, his eyes gleaming with distress. “Jeremy, are you okay?”

Jeremy just stared at him, black edging in his vision as his head whirled dizzily, raw with pain. His stomach roiled with nausea, and he was suddenly very certain that if he would open his mouth to respond, he would puke. Gavin fearfully bit his lip, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Jeremy, what’s wrong? What do I do?” Gavin asked desperately, his cold hands ghosting around his face. He whipped around to look at Trevor, who was just gaping silently at the two of them, his book forgotten on the floor. “How do I fix him?”

“He…ah…he’s in pain,” Trevor said slowly. “He might…have a minor concussion, I think. Or he might just be winded.”

“Pain?” Gavin’s eyes rounded out. “No, no, I don’t want him to feel that. Tell me how to take it away.”

“I don’t…there’s nothing that I…” Trevor trailed off, still staring open-mouthed at them, like they were two aliens making out or something like that.

“Humans are so fragile,” Gavin said nervously. “They break so easily. But I always saw that they used those things to hold themselves together. Band-aids, yeah?” He whirled back to Trevor. “Do you have any?”

“Huh? Oh.” Trevor fumbled with his bag for a minute. “Yeah, I do, actually.” He handed over a single, crumpled band-aid, and Gavin snatched it up and slapped it unceremoniously on Jeremy’s forehead. Jeremy winced at the impact, and the band-aid slowly fluttered to the ground.

“Oh no, it didn’t work,” Gavin cried, pulling at his cheeks in panic. “What do I do now?”

“Ah, no, like this.” Trevor kneeled down next to him and carefully unwrapped the band-aid, handing it back over to Gavin. “You should put it on more gently.”

Gavin flashed him a grateful smile, holding the band-aid reverently in his grasp. He softly applied it to Jeremy’s forehead, his touch as gentle as the brush of a feather.

“There! All fixed now, right?” Gavin said, holding Jeremy’s face between his hands so he could study him intensely. “No more pain?”

“Yeah, I feel fine,” Jeremy coughed out, still in a lot of pain. He wasn’t puking though, so that was a plus. But he could feel a knot forming at the back of his head, and he was sure that was going to be hell later, once the adrenaline wore off.

Gavin visibly slumped in relief, hefting out a silent sigh.

“Jeremy, why did you do that?” He said quietly, cradling his face. “I didn’t need your help.”

“Like hell you didn’t,” Jeremy mumbled. “You were in trouble, so I bashed its face in. Or, tried to, I guess.” Gavin’s eyes widened, then softened with warmth.

“Brave little hero Jeremy,” Gavin smiled. He leaned forward, gently pressing their foreheads together. “I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jeremy breathed, matching his grin. Then, Gavin stiffened, his gaze dropping shyly as he pulled back. He stared down at his own hands in shock, as if he couldn’t even believe what he had been doing.

“May I?” Trevor said, eyes flicking over at Gavin nervously. “I, uh…won’t try anything else.”

Gavin gave him a long, measured stare. Then, he nodded, and stepped away from Jeremy. Trevor leaned in, his brow furrowed.

“Jeremy, do you think you might have a concussion?” he questioned, eyes scanning him critically. “Answer this question: do you know who I am?”

“Yeah, you’re Trevor,” Jeremy spat. “Or, at least, I hope you aren’t, considering the shit you just pulled.”

“Well, his memory seems to be in the right place,” Trevor said dryly. “Are you experiencing any pain or nausea?”

“Only when I look at your dumb face.”

Trevor shook his head, his lips quirking. “I think you should be alright. If anything worsens, though, let me know so we can take you into a hospital.”

“I’m fine,” Jeremy insisted, shoving him away. “Why are you acting like this now, anyway? Run out of demons to pull out of your asshole? Or are we just taking an intermission to baby me before you turn around and stab Gavin in the throat?”

“I, uh…Jeremy, I didn’t mean…” Trevor’s hands twisted together as he fumbled over his words. “He incinerated my weapon, and my summon. There’s not much I could do, anymore – it will take quite a while before Azael is able to reform himself. But I don’t think I…” He trailed off, biting his lip.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. Using a supreme effort, he made an attempt to stand, using the wall as a support. Gavin was instantly at his side, an arm around his waist to help him up. If it were anyone else, Jeremy would’ve kicked them clear across the alley without remorse, but for Gavin, he gave a warm, thankful smile.

“Ah, fuck me. What am I even supposed to do about this?” Trevor groaned. He had slumped against the wall next to them, his head in his hands. “This is genuinely ridiculous.”

“You’re telling me,” Jeremy snarled. “You’re the one that came at Gavin with a fucking gun. C’mon Gav, let’s just get out of here.”

He made a move to shakily walk away, but Trevor jumped up to put a hand on his shoulder, stilling him.

“No, no, there’s no need for that,” Trevor said, voice hoarse. “I’m done, I swear. Like, really done. I think I should retire, actually.”

“Oh, really now,” Jeremy said suspiciously. “That’s an abrupt change of heart.”

“See, that’s the thing I really like about science,” Trevor sighed. “One moment you could think you have everything figured out and that you’re the most intelligent person in the world, and the next you could realize that you actually don’t know a single thing and your whole life is a lie and you should probably throw everything away and become a humble hermit in the beautiful Alaskan mountain range living the rest of your destitute days with not a singular thought in your head.”

“What?” Jeremy shook his head irritably. “Can we fast-forward to the part where you make sense?”

Trevor turned to him, a sad smile on his lips. “Jeremy, I’m sorry you got hurt. That wasn’t my intention here.” Then, he turned to Gavin, who had stepped a little ways away from them, his arms wrapped around himself. “And Gavin, I’m sorry as well, for misjudging you so quickly. I didn’t realize you felt that way. Honestly, I didn’t even realize it was possible at all. But, hey! That’s life, I guess.”

“Has your brain collapsed on itself?” Jeremy said, knocking on Trevor’s head. “What are you even talking about anymore?”

“But, still, how very curious!” Trevor exclaimed, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “I have to wonder, is Gavin some sort of anomaly? Or is this a widespread thing, desperately hidden away from the commonplace? Is what they feel genuine, or is it just an empty echo of what they see around them? I’ll admit that in all my time around demons, I had small doubts and confusions, but nothing this certain. Gavin, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” Trevor reached into his bag and pulled out a notebook and a pen, fixing the demon with an expectant look.

“Trevor, what the fuck? He’s not one of your experiments.”

“Gavin, around Jeremy, have you ever experienced the following: shortness of breath, accelerated heart rate, dilation of pupils, or more frequent bowel movements?”

“Are you fucking diagnosing him?”

“Mm, yes. All of the above,” Gavin said solemnly. “I also get this little tingle on my pinky finger, right at the bendy bits.”

“I see, I see!” Trevor said, jotting it down.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jeremy grumbled. He snatched up Trevor’s notebook and chucked it in a nearby dumpster. “Look, this is nice and all, but you literally had a gun to his head like five minutes ago. Also, your fucking demon almost smashed my skull into pieces. Am I supposed to just forget about that, or what?”

“I am truly sorry about that,” Trevor said, sobering. “Jeremy, you have to understand that I’ve spent my entire life around demons, seeing the truly cruel and heinous things they were capable of, seeing so many of my friends fall prey to their twisted machinations. When you told me that you had summoned one, I could only assume the worst had happened. And tonight, after you let me know about your confusion with him, I knew you had already fallen in too deep. That’s a demon’s specialty, you know? They trick you into trusting them, to giving little pieces of yourself to them, and the more you voluntarily hand over, the more their grip on you tightens.” Trevor stretched out his hand, then closed it into a fist. “Like a fly in a spider’s web – helpless until your soul is theirs. So, I want to warn you, Jeremy. What you think you feel towards him might not be entirely genuine.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve been tricked this whole time and I’m an idiot for falling for it, blah blah blah. I got that speech already. And like I told Gavin, I don’t give a shit. Shitty demon magic or not, it doesn’t matter to me. Either way, I know I’d feel the same about him.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head up, fixing Trevor with a challenging glare.

Trevor blinked in shock, then threw his head back and laughed. “No, I understand. That stubborn clarity in your eyes is one hundred percent yours. You aren’t under his thrall at all, are you? Well, I guess you are, but under a different type of thrall, one that isn’t quite so demonic in quality. Oh, Jeremy, you poor thing. I think you have a type.” He laughed again, obnoxious and loud, and Jeremy resisted the urge to smash his dumb face in, even if he didn’t really get what he was even laughing at.

“No, you’re wrong,” Gavin cut in. He looked horribly flustered, face red and eyes darting around frantically. “I…I was using my powers to fool him. It was just so strong that you didn’t notice, that’s all.”

Trevor raised his eyebrows. “Right,” he said dubiously. “Anyway, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want to help you two. Technically, I suppose this goes against everything I’ve ever stood for. But seeing this...seeing him have true concern for your well-being in such a way…well, I’ve never seen anything like it before. I don’t even think you realize how strange it is, either.”

“How strange what is?” Jeremy said blankly.

Trevor barked out another laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “It just had to be you, didn’t it? God, how did you even end up in this mess anyway? You were so afraid of demons for so long – why summon one?”

“Uh, you know, I wasn’t joking when I said it was an accident,” Jeremy said sheepishly. “I mean, it happens.”

Trevor sighed heavily. “If it were any other person saying that, I’d have to disagree. But Jeremy, I still can’t just walk away and let this happen. You still do want to take his soul, correct?” He looked over at Gavin.

“Of course,” Gavin responded. Jeremy flinched at the readiness of his answer.

Trevor raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure about that? You do realize what becomes of humans when their soul is taken, correct? He won’t ever be the same.”

Gavin pointedly looked away, his brows drawn together.

“Look, Trevor,” Jeremy cut in. “I don’t need you butting into my business. I got this all covered, promise.”

“Oh, really? What’s your plan, then?”

“You know, just kinda sit around and do nothing until everything somehow solves itself.” Jeremy shrugged flippantly.

Trevor rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s not a plan. Jeremy, I’m sorry about this, but I have to tell Ryan. I didn’t want to involve him before because of his…personal attachments, but this is the only way, now. He should be able to help you from this mess, if nothing else.”

Both Gavin and Jeremy simultaneously stiffened.

“Okay, let’s just calm down now,” Jeremy said nervously. “No need to go to extremes or anything like that.”

“He told me that you know that he’s an angel now,” Trevor continued. “I’m sure he’ll know the best course of action to take here.”

“Oh, right,” Jeremy huffed. “I forgot you already knew about his ‘dark secret’. Fuck you, by the way.”

“Well, it wasn’t something I could particularly tell you, was it?” Trevor said patiently. “Besides, he was very adamant that you, of all people, should never find out.”

Jeremy blinked rapidly. “Me? Why?”

“Because he was afraid,” Trevor said, giving him a dumbfounded look, as if he was being unbearably stupid. “Most people wouldn’t really react well to the idea that someone they knew for years was an angel – especially one like Ryan.”

“One...like Ryan?”

“Jeremy, do you really think a normal angel would really be going about on earth eating donuts and falling in love with humans?” Trevor raised an eyebrow.

“Fuck, I don’t know, Trevor. Do I look like an angel expert to you?” Jeremy sputtered, face red. “And he did tell me you were working with him on some sort of project together, what’s with that?”

Trevor’s brows furrowed, before realization dawned on his face. “Oh, that. I was helping him-”

“There’s no need to tell him that.”

They all jolted as a low voice echoed across the alleyway. Slowly, fearfully, Jeremy turned. Standing across from them, arms crossed, and face shadowed, was Ryan.

“Oh, fuck,” Jeremy whispered, heart dropping to his stomach.

Ryan peeled himself off the wall and slowly stalked towards them. He cut an intimidating figure in the low light of the flickering street lamps with his broad shoulders, and the outline of his biceps showing through his tight turtleneck. His face was entirely expressionless as he stared down at them, and Jeremy felt a trickle of fear run down his spine. Somehow, all he could think about was the Ryan he saw the night of the party, his arms black and dripping as he pulled them from the demon’s chest - the type of Ryan that was a stranger to him. Jeremy unconsciously stepped in front of Gavin.

“How did you find us?” Jeremy said, voice barely a whisper.

“I hadn’t left yet,” Ryan responded, voice flat. “And Trevor called me.”

Trevor flashed a sheepish grin as Jeremy’s accusing stare landed on him. “Ah, I did do that, didn’t I? When things were going south, I might have used my energy to send out a bit of distress beacon to him. Oopsie! Completely forgot about that – what a strangely convenient oversight to make! In my defense, I was very much panicking. Well, so much for breaking it to you easy, then, eh?”

_Forgot, my ass,_ Jeremy thought sullenly. _What is he, a human cellphone?_

“How…much did you hear?” Jeremy said, biting his lip as he turned back to Ryan, who was standing inhumanly still.

“Enough,” Ryan said simply.

There was a loaded silence as they just stared at each other, Jeremy’s insides twisting into knots. Ryan didn’t even so much as blink, and Jeremy took a step back, so that he could feel Gavin’s chest against his back.

Trevor gave an awkward cough. “Uh, let’s consider this ripping the band-aid off, yeah? Jeremy summoned a demon that’s currently trying to take his soul. Isn’t that funny? I tried to kill him, but immediately changed my mind, as people are wont to do. Now, we’re all friends!”

“No, we are not,” Jeremy hissed.

For another long minute, Ryan said nothing. Then, he took another step forward, the thunk of his boot echoing eerily across the alley.

“I wonder, how am I supposed to feel in this sort of situation?” he mused quietly. His gaze flicked above Jeremy’s shoulder. “What would you think?”

Jeremy followed his line of sight to see that he was talking to Gavin. Gavin actually had the gall to be smirking, of all things, his eyes glittering like the cat that got the canary.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Gavin hummed. He slung his arms around Jeremy’s shoulders. “If I were you, I’d be angry. You spent so much time making sure your precious Jeremy would be safe from those nasty demons, and yet, he was snatched up right under your nose, in the end. I’d feel like such a fool, if I were you.”

“Gavin, what the fuck?” Jeremy whispered urgently. Did he want to suplexed by an angel, or what?

“A fool,” Ryan said, taking yet another step. “I suppose I was. So, then, what would you suggest I do, to right this?”

“You should do nothing,” Jeremy said, waving his arms about frantically. “He should do nothing, right Gavin?” He gave the demon a pointed look, but Gavin just slipped his arms further down his chest, pressing their cheeks together.

“You and I both know there’s only one way to fix this,” Gavin said, voice low and entrancing.

“Friendship!” Jeremy blurted out. “He’s talking about friendship, obviously.”

“I see,” Ryan said, still watching Gavin carefully. “So, you want me to fight you, then? To stoop to your level?”

Gavin’s eyes were bright with excitement. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?

Ryan studied him carefully, then let out a small sigh, looking drained. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry to disappoint you, Gavin, but I didn’t come here to fight with you.”

 In a few quick strides, he crossed the distance between the two of them. He reached out a hand, and Jeremy flinched back, readying himself.

“I want to work together with you,” Ryan announced, and his eyes were hard with determination.

Jeremy gaped at his outstretched hand. “What?” he exclaimed. “I mean, that’s great. But also, what?”

“Oh, what a twist,” Trevor said, clutching at his chest. “I was worried for a second there.”

The smugness faded from Gavin’s face. His lip curled in distaste as he stared down at Ryan’s hand, as if he had grown extra fingers. “How so?”

“I’m sure you’re aware of the powerful creature stalking Jeremy,” Ryan explained patiently. “It pains me to admit it, but I am not strong enough to take it down on my own, especially as I am now. But if we are together, it won’t stand a chance. And if you still want to fight me after that, I suppose I can accommodate you then.”

“Powerful creature?” Trevor said, giving Jeremy a fearful look, but Jeremy didn’t respond, still gaping at the miracle happening in front of him.

Gavin’s head tilted thoughtfully as he took in what Ryan was saying. “And what makes you think I’d want to help you?”

“Even if Jeremy is nothing more than a vessel to you, I doubt you’d want his soul taken by another,” Ryan said.

Jeremy winced. “The vessel is also listening to this conversation,” he grumbled, annoyed.

“I suppose you’re right,” Gavin said, crossing his arms. “But I’m more than capable of handling this on my own.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Ryan responded. “But while you might be able to take it down, you wouldn’t be able to keep it away for good. That’s where I would come in.”

They stared at each other for a bit, so intensely it was if there were a second conversation happening with their eyes. Then, Gavin let out an abrupt laugh, pulling away from Jeremy.

“Well, alright, then. This should be interesting,” he grinned, and took Ryan’s hand. “Treat me well,  _Ryan_.” Gavin’s eyes shone teasingly as he dragged out the syllables in his name.

“Woah, wait a second,” Jeremy cut in. “Do I not get a say in this, or what?”

Ryan turned to him. “Of course you do, Jeremy, seeing as this does concern your well-being. Though, I suppose you’re not exactly the best person to consult on something like that.”

Jeremy recoiled backwards, and Trevor snorted. “Wow, okay. No need to fucking roast me there, asshole,” he snapped. “Look, I hate how you’re talking about me like I’m not even here, like I’m sort of dumb damsel in distress, or whatever. I was perfectly fine on my own taking care of myself before I even met you, just so you know.”

Ryan’s eyebrows pulled together guilty. “I know that, but that’s just the thing. You shouldn’t have to do any of this alone. I want to be there for you, just like I promised. If anything happened to you, I…”

“Technically, something did happen to him,” Gavin interrupted, slinging an arm around Jeremy. “Oops! Some angel you are.”

Ryan’s jaw snapped shut, and the blue drained from his irises, leaving them colorless and bright.

Jeremy shoved Gavin off him. “Can you just like, chill for five seconds?” He scrubbed a hand across his face. “Literally every single one of you here is really starting to piss me off.” He glared at all of them.

“So, you object to this, then?” Ryan said, voice thin. His gaze was still tightly trained to Gavin’s smirking face.

Jeremy sighed loudly, his head giving a pained throb. “No. No, I don’t. It’s just…this is so out of nowhere. I mean, you do realize Gavin’s a demon, right?”

“I’m quite aware.”

“But you…wanna work together with him, anyway?”

“It seems so.”

“So…you’re okay with this, then?” Jeremy motioned in between himself and Gavin.

Ryan flashed him a blinding, beatific smile. It was so sudden and unexpected that Jeremy nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Not in the slightest,” Ryan said sunnily. “In fact, it’s taking every ounce of my control right now not to do something we all would regret.”

“Ooh, there it is!” Gavin cheered, clapping his hands together. “Feels good to show your true colors, don’t it?”

Jeremy gaped at the grinning demon, wondering if he had no regard for his safety, or if he just really liked riling people up. Probably both.

“However, as Trevor knows quite well, it’s not quite so easy to absolve a contract,” Ryan said, the plastered smile dropping from his face. “And I’d rather take care of the more looming problem before I dive into that.”

“I did give it my best shot,” Trevor cut in. “But alas, the power of love ultimately won me over. My crooked, dark heart could not stand strong against such pure energy. I suppose I will just have to find another solution.”

Jeremy stared blankly at Trevor, wondering how the hell he had even become friends with such an incomprehensible person.

“Is that so,” Ryan commented flatly, his pallid eyes settling on Gavin.

Jeremy put an exhausted hand to his forehead. “Yeah, I’m just gonna go ahead and ignore that. But, anyway, if this is gonna be a thing, you two-” Jeremy motioned between Ryan and Gavin. “-need to relax around each other. Like, I don’t want to turn around and see that you’ve stabbed each other in the back.”

“You don’t have to worry,” Ryan said wearily. “I won’t harm Gavin.”

Gavin let out an inelegant snort.

Jeremy narrowed his eyes. “You promise?”

“I promise,” Ryan said quietly, his gaze still never leaving Gavin’s.

“Right. Well, no nonsense around me or I’m throwing my soul off a cliff, I don’t give a shit.” Jeremy crossed his arms petulantly.

“That…would be extremely counter-active and also physically impossible, but alright, noted,” Ryan said, eyebrow raised.

“And I …wanna be more involved, alright? Like, sure, my only power is being a giant target, or whatever, but I still wanna help out and stuff.”

“Actually, I think you’d be able to do quite a bit,” Trevor piped up. “I could help you with that.”

Jeremy instantly brightened. “Really? Like cool demon summoner shit?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Trevor said, nodding sagely. “There’s lots I can teach you, my young padawan.”

“Now we’re talking,” Jeremy said, relieved. It’d be nice if he got to do something more than get his shit beat in, for once.

“I still have no idea what’s going on, but this quite the experience,” Trevor enthused. “An angel and a demon working together, how revolutionary! Should we take a commemorative photo?”

“Yeah, how about no,” Jeremy sighed, putting a hand to his still aching head. “I think I’m just gonna head home, take a few Aspirin, and pass out for five years, thanks.”

As he made a move to step away, Ryan grabbed onto his arm, stopping him.

“I’m coming with you,” he said. The intenseness in his eyes made Jeremy’s mouth go dry.

Trevor cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well, guess that’s my cue to conveniently leave again,” he said. “Sorry again about everything, Jeremy! I’ll see you around. And Gavin, it was quite extraordinary to meet you as well. I’ll have more questions for you later, especially involving that naughty little contact of yours. Goodbye!” With one last dramatic wink, he picked up his book and fled down the alley. Jeremy watched him go, then turned back to Ryan, whose strong stare had never left his face.

“You, uh, wanna come to my place?” Jeremy asked slowly.

“Yes. I wasn’t joking when I said I wanted us to stay together before, for your safety. I held back before because of Gavin, but that doesn’t matter any longer. In fact, I think it makes my idea more important.” His eyes flicked over to Gavin, who was lounging boredly in the air, his tail swishing around impatiently.

“Oh. Uh…yeah, sure,” Jeremy decided. “You can stay over, if that makes you feel better, I guess. I’ll warn you, though, I don’t really have much. Also, you’d have to sleep on my couch and stuff.”

“That’s fine with me,” Ryan said flippantly. “I’ll see you soon then – I just have to pick some stuff up from my place first.”

“Oh shit, you’re coming over tonight?” Jeremy exclaimed. He desperately needed to clean his place up first – that wasn’t good. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had bothered to do his dishes.

“If that’s okay with you?” Ryan said, eyebrows pulling together pleadingly.

“No, that’s fine,” Jeremy said immediately. He winced inwardly – he really needed to start remembering how to say no to people. Or really, just Ryan and Gavin specifically, now that he thought of it - that wasn’t concerning at all.

“Forcing yourself into a situation where you aren’t wanted: do angels know anything about human social graces?” Gavin mused, inspecting his fingernails.

A muscle in Ryan’s jaw jumped, but he didn’t move from Jeremy. “I’m sorry you have to deal with…all of this. With you, it always seems to be the worst case scenario, doesn’t it? It must be tiring.”

“Eh, it’s fine,” Jeremy said. “I’m kinda used to it by now. I mean, why go only half-way disaster, when you can go all the way disaster?” He shrugged, then flinched in pain as his neck tensed up.

“You even got hurt,” Ryan said, voice hushed. His hand was fever hot as it lightly brushed the back of his neck.

“Uh, well, I never really needed more than ten brain cells anyway,” Jeremy said, distinctly aware of the way Ryan’s thumb rubbed a soothing circle on his skin before pulling away.  “Besides, Gavin had my back. He even helped fix me up.” He pointed proudly at the band-aid still stuck to the center of his forehead.

“Hm. That’s good.” Something in Ryan’s gaze hardened as he looked back over at Gavin. “And your contract, is it pressing?”

Jeremy blinked. “Huh?”

“The contract you made with Gavin: is it of any urgency?” Ryan asked. “Do you have any need to fulfill it soon? Or is something you’ll be able to resist?”

Jeremy felt all the blood rush to his face. “Oh! Yeah, no, totally fine on that front. You know what they call me: Iron Dick Dooley. I mean, iron will, fuck. I have both, actually – an iron will and an iron dick. Anyway, yeah, I can totally resist it, I’m perfectly fine.”

He was definitely not fine. Any time Ryan so much as sneezed in his direction, he couldn’t even remember how to function like a normal human being. And there was no way in hell he could ever actually tell Ryan what his contract actually entailed. How fucking embarrassing – he’d rather his soul actually get taken away.

But thankfully, Ryan only nodded, seemingly satisfied. “That’s good. We can deal with that later, then. First, let’s just take care of the more pressing issue.”

“Totally,” Jeremy agreed, sweating a bit.

“Well, I’ll see you in a small while, Jeremy,” Ryan said, releasing him. He made a move to walk away, when he froze. “And Gavin, it’s been good to see you again, as well,” he added quietly. Then he was gone, rounding the corner with a few quick strides.

Jeremy scratched his head in confusion, and hefted out a long, relieved sigh. “God, what a mess, am I right?” he groaned. “I honestly have no idea how we got out of that alive. Especially you…Gavin?”

He turned to see that Gavin had gone stock-straight, his face redder than Jeremy had ever seen it before, and his mouth open slightly.

“Woah, you alright there, buddy?” Jeremy said, stepping towards him in concern. “You didn’t catch some sort of demon cold, did you?”

He made a move to put his hand on Gavin’s forehead, when there was a sudden spark of energy, and a small cat plopped down at his feet. Before he could blink, the cat shot away in a dark blur, ducking behind a trash can.

“Or you could just ignore me and turn into a cat,” Jeremy mumbled. “That’s cool, too.”

He bent down, peering around the can to find that Gavin was huddled in a corner, staring at the floor.

“Let me guess,” Jeremy said, propping his head up with his hand. “It’s Ryan related.”

Gavin didn’t reply, but the stiffness of his back was good enough an answer anyway.

“And let me throw out another hot assumption,” Jeremy continued. “You don’t wanna talk about it.”

_It’s fine,_  Gavin said quietly, turning around to give him an unsure look.  _I just didn’t expect him to say that._

“Say what?” Jeremy said, tilting his head. “’Nice to see you?’ The fuck?”

Gavin went silent again, carefully studying the wall, and Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’m not gonna force you to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said patiently. “Let’s just get out of here, okay?”

He stretched out his arms, and Gavin turned around sheepishly. Then, he quickly bounded forward into his grasp. Jeremy laughed softly, pulling the cat close to his chest.

“There we are,” he sighed, scratching the cat’s head. “Let’s go home now, okay?”

_Okay_ , Gavin said, burrowing in close.

They went to sit out in front of the venue on the sidewalk to wait for a cab, and Jeremy idly watched as people trickled out of the building with their bell-like laughter and glittering faces. The lights of the glowing building reflected softly on the surrounding lake. Gavin curled up tighter against him, tucked warmly inside his jacket.

Well, tonight had definitely been something else.

One minute he had been over the moon because the guy he had been crushing on for years had asked him out, and the next, he was getting his brain smashed in by a demon with the head of a goat. So just a completely normal day, really.

He couldn’t help but wonder if all of them working together was a good thing. Granted, he didn’t even expect Ryan to consider giving a demon a chance without tearing their head off first, so that was pretty nice. But even so, he wasn’t entirely sure if he could trust the two of them together. It always seemed to be a constant push and pull between them, though he wasn’t entirely sure where they wanted each other to end up. Was there even a way for the two of them to get along – to find some sort of middle ground?

_Jeremy,_  Gavin said after a while, jolting him out of his dream-like stupor.

“Yeah?”

_I think…I do want to talk about it, just a little,_  Gavin continued, voice small and tinny in his head.  _If it’s you - because it’s you - I think it’ll be okay._

“Oh,” Jeremy said, cheeks flushing a bit as he sat up expectantly. “Well, um, whatever you want to say, I’m here for you.”

Gavin’s head poked out of his jacket. His ears were flat against his head, his eyes oddly dull and downcast.

_That Ryan…I knew him before,_  he said quietly.

Jeremy resisted the urge to jump up triumphantly. He fucking knew that there was something more between those two. They – or mostly Gavin, really – acted way too strangely around each other for there not to be something. Then, as quick as it came, the victory faded away, replaced with a haze of confusion.

“But how would that even be possible?” Jeremy asked. “This is your first time in the human world, and it’s not as if an angel can visit hell, I wouldn’t think.”

_I…was different back then,_  Gavin said, head drooping down lower.  _I didn’t think he would even remember._

“Different?” Jeremy pressed. “You mean like you acted different, or looked different, or what?”

_Yes,_  Gavin replied simply.  _Back then, I didn’t look like anything at all._

“What?” Jeremy shook his head, baffled.

_But, Jeremy, you have to understand that I…that he…_

“He what?” Jeremy said gently, hoping not to seem too eager. Gavin hunched in over himself.

_He was the one that made me fall._

The words sunk heavily in his head, laced with a familiar significance that he couldn’t quite parse out.

“Fall?” Jeremy said, brow furrowed. “Like he pushed you off a cliff or something?”

_No, not like that._  Gavin’s words were as slow and dragging as molasses.  _That’s all I can say for now, Jeremy. I’m sorry._

They lapsed into silence, the sounds of gurgling water and distant chatter floating around them like a muted dream.

Fall – Gavin had something like that before, he realized, on the first night after he met him, before they ran into the hellhound. Back then, he had also placed some sort of weird significance on the word, but he hadn’t thought about it much, as he had been too distracted by murderous demons. So, what the hell could it even mean?

But no matter how he turned it around in his mind, he still couldn’t quite puzzle it out. He wasn’t even entirely sure if there even was something to solve, or if he was just over-analyzing something that didn’t need to be. His head was full on throbbing, little spikes of pain arching from the knot that was slowly forming, and he doubted he even had the ability to figure it out, even if he wanted to. He sighed heavily, giving up on the endeavor. He reluctantly resolved himself to asking Trevor about it later, as much as that would actually kill him inside. Either way, he at least knew that Gavin did for sure have some sort of mysterious history with Ryan – that was a pretty big step.

Gavin was staring up again, so he followed his gaze. Beyond the glow of light pollution, the dull stars seemed to stare back down at them, silent in their judgment. He shivered, and pulled Gavin closer to his chest.


	10. The Crisis Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close now!  
> This chapter somehow ended up kinda long, and I didn't even get to the part i thought i was going to??? I hope this story doesn't seem like it's being dragged out or anything like that...it's kinda hard for me to find the balance between writing too much and rushing things, ya know? But i promise the end is very much coming soon! Thank you so so much for putting up with my nonsense anyway <3  
> ...........Also remember when i said this story wouldn't have much angst? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (sorry)

Jeremy was scrubbing frantically at a stubborn stain on the counter when there was a soft knock on the door. He jumped up, nearly knocking his knee on a chair.

“Oh, shit! He’s here,” he exclaimed. He vaulted forward, cursing as he shoved various discarded laundry items underneath his couch. Then, he scrambled to the door, taking deep breaths to steady himself. Heart pounding, he creaked the door open, revealing Ryan, holding a bulky pack and giving a small wave. He was dressed down – wearing a soft hoodie and sweats, and his dad glasses balanced precariously on his nose. The ends of his hair were wet and curled up slightly, as if he had just come out of the shower. Jeremy felt himself melt just a little – this type of Ryan had always been his weakness.

“Hey, there girl,” Jeremy said in an exaggerated valley girl accent. “You ready for our sexy sleepover night?”

“You know it, Tiffany,” Ryan responded, eyes sparkling. “If we have a pillow fight, don’t judge me if my top conveniently slips off.” He let out a high-pitched giggle and winked.

Jeremy snorted, shaking his head as he opened the door further, ushering Ryan in. “Well, make yourself at home,” he said. “Got some leftover pork chops if you’re hungry.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Ryan said politely, stepping in after him.

“And here’s your five-star bed,” Jeremy said, motioning at his saggy couch, which he had piled high with comforters and pillows. “We can play some video games or something for a bit if you want.” He plopped down on the couch and pulled a pillow into his lap. Honestly, he was pretty fucking exhausted and probably about two seconds away from passing out right that second. And although the aspirin had thankfully dulled away most of the pain, his head was still aching. Still, seeing Ryan this late at night in his own apartment filled him with a restless energy he wasn’t sure what to do with. It wasn’t Ryan’s first time at his place, but it was his first time there after he had asked him out, so you know, that probably changed things a little bit. Or maybe it didn’t; he was still a bit on the fence about what had actually happened earlier that night.

Ryan chuckled softly, sitting down next to him. Jeremy’s hands jittered anxiously against his thighs as their shoulders brushed. “Nah, that’s okay. I’m a bit tired.” His warm eyes hardened as he scanned the living room around him. “Where’s Gavin, by the way?”

Jeremy swallowed dryly. “Oh, he’s probably hiding under a chair or something,” he said. Gavin predictably hadn’t said much after their strange, vague conversation earlier. He had just kept in his cat form, and then scampered off when they had arrived home. Somehow, he doubted he’d be showing up any time soon.

“Hiding under a chair,” Ryan repeated slowly, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, he does that sometimes.” Jeremy shrugged.

“I see.”

Jeremy sent the other man a nervous look, wondering if it would be worth it to bring Gavin up. But before he could open his mouth, Ryan leaned into him, and any semblance of thought he might have had went careening out the window.

“How are you feeling?” Ryan asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know tonight must have been a lot.”

“Uh,” was all Jeremy could think to say, staring dumbly at Ryan’s hand. Suddenly, he couldn’t help but recall the things Ryan had said at the art show.  _I’m interested in you._  His mouth went dry.

Ryan laughed, and pulled his arm away. “You should probably go get some rest, huh? We can all talk about my plan tomorrow.”

“Your…plan? You have one?”

“Of course,” Ryan said. “Not a great one, honestly, but as long as you’re safe, it’ll all be fine.”

Jeremy shifted a bit, discomfort needling at his stomach.

“You’re always like this, aren’t you?” he said quietly, clutching the pillow closer.

Ryan’s brows pulled together. “Huh?”

Jeremy averted his gaze. “Always going out of your way to help me, to clean my shit up. I mean, I can’t even count on one hand the number of times you’ve probably saved my life.”

“That’s no problem,” Ryan said. “I don’t mind it.”

Jeremy shook his head. “I just…don’t get it. You’re a fucking angel. You should be going out and doing awesome things, not getting caught up in my bullshit and getting dragged down by it.”

Ryan looked almost alarmed now, his eyes wide and mouth slack. “That…is that what you really think?”

“I don’t know, man,” Jeremy sighed, dragging a hand across his eyes. “I know we’re friends, but I haven’t done shit for you like what you do for me.”

“That’s not true,” Ryan said, grasping at his hands. “You’ve done so much for me, more than you could ever know. Just by being yourself, you…”

“Oh, stop it,” Jeremy said irritably. “That’s not anything. There’s got to be something I can do for you in return. I mean, fuck, I’ll do anything. What do you want, Ryan?” He gripped his hands harder, giving him a desperate look.

For some inexplicable reason, Ryan went completely red. “What I…want?” he repeated slowly.

“Yeah!” Jeremy enthused. “There’s gotta be something I can do, right? Granted, I can’t actually do that much, but you know, I’ll give it my best shot, whatever it is.”

Ryan looked away, expression unfathomable. “Angels…they aren’t supposed to want things, you know.”

“Oh,” Jeremy sat back, stymied. “That kinda sucks. So, you don’t want anything, then?”

“No.” Ryan’s gaze caught his. “I want things.”

“Okay, good,” Jeremy sighed, relieved. “Well, I hope it isn’t anything too expensive, ‘cause I just paid rent, and I got like…” He pulled out his wallet and shuffled through it, lips pursed. “Eleven dollars. And, oh! I also have a coupon for a buy one get one free smoothie, completely forgot about that. How about that, then? You want a smoothie?” Jeremy brandished the coupon excitedly.

Ryan propped his head up with his hand, giving him a fond smile. “Mm. That sounds perfect.”

Jeremy slapped a hand to his face, groaning. “Nope, that’s not good. You’re risking your life for me, and I’m gonna give you a fucking smoothie. God, I’m the worst.”

“Actually, I think a smoothie is a perfectly sound recompense,” Ryan said. “Though, it really depends on the flavor. Like, strawberry banana? Totally reasonable. But blackberry? Not worth shit.”

Jeremy snorted, then deflated again. “Nah, that won’t work. Sorry to get all weird on you, Ryan. I’m just…sick of feeling like there’s such a gap between us, you know?”

“Jeremy, it’s never been like that,” Ryan said, forehead creasing with concern. “I really don’t think you understand how I feel in the slightest, even now, do you?”

Ryan was intensely at him, and Jeremy felt heat gather in his cheeks.

 _Oh,_  he thought, feeling like the worst kind of idiot. His heartbeat picked up, pounding in his ears, and he was suddenly hyperaware of how close they were sitting together, and how quiet his apartment was around them.

 _Iron Dick Dooley,_ he reminded himself, but then Ryan leaned in further, and he was pretty sure Iron Dick Dooley had gone on a vacation straight to hell at this point.

“I suppose it’s better to just say things outright, when it comes to you,” Ryan said, shaking his head with a smile. “Jeremy, I…fuck!” Ryan suddenly jolted up, his face screwing up in pain.

Jeremy sat up in alarm. “You fuck? I mean, that’s good to know, but I’m not really sure how that applies to anything.”

“No, it’s not that,” Ryan said, wincing. “I forgot you had a cat. They just scratched me.”

“A cat?” Jeremy whirled around to see a black shape slinking away, tail tucked between its legs. His eyes narrowed. “Oh no, you don’t.”

He sprinted forward, snatching the cat up in his grasp. Triumphantly, he yanked him up, dangling him in front of Ryan.

“This isn’t just a cat- it’s Gavin,” he proclaimed.

Ryan stared blankly at the struggling cat swinging in front of him, before realization slowly dawned on his face. “Oh, I see,” he said slowly. “That, ah, explains some things. And also makes other things a bit concerning.”

“What the hell are you even doing?” Jeremy said, glaring at Gavin.

 _There was a mosquito on his ankle,_  Gavin said sullenly, going limp.  _I was just helping him out – he should be thanking me._

Jeremy rolled his eyes as he plopped back down on the couch. “Right. That’s totally what happened.”

 _Jeremy, I’m very tired,_  Gavin said, slipping out of his grasp to sit on his lap.  _We should go to bed right now._

“I thought demons didn’t need sleep,” Jeremy said, eyebrows raised.

_I’ve evolved. It’s a miracle of science._

“Well, isn’t that something,” Jeremy smirked. “Should I call in the national geographic center?”

“Are you…talking with him?” Ryan’s brow furrowed in thought as he studied the two of them.

“Uh, yeah,” Jeremy said sheepishly. “I can hear his voice in my head when he’s in that form. Also, I did not realize how weird that sounded until I said it out loud. Anyway, he was just saying he wanted to go to sleep.”

“I see,” Ryan said, tilting his head. “Uh, where does he even sleep?”

There was a flash of energy, and Gavin’s demonic form was suddenly sprawled out on Jeremy’s lap, arms curled around his neck.

“With Jeremy, of course,” he said haughtily. “Where else?”

“Well, okay. You didn’t have to make that sound weird, but you did anyway, didn’t you?” Jeremy said dryly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I being rude?” Gavin said. “Ryan, you can come in and join us if you want.”

“I’m quite comfortable here, thanks.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and stood up, dumping the demon haphazardly on the floor with a squawk of protest. “But I think I should turn in, sorry Ryan. I’m fucking beat.”

“That’s okay,” Ryan said, huddling further into the couch. “You go on and sleep. Are you gonna tuck me in and kiss me goodnight?” His eyes sparkled mischievously. Jeremy froze, going red.

“If you insist,” Gavin shrugged, and swooped in to press a kiss to Ryan’s cheek.

A shocked silence fell upon the room as Gavin pulled back, grinning.

“Dream well, lovely Ryan, enough for the both of us,” he said, ruffling his hair. “How lucky of you. I miss being able to do something like that.” Laughing to himself, he retreated down the hall into Jeremy’s bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Jeremy swallowed nervously. Ryan’s expression was entirely blank as he reached a hand up to carefully touch his own cheek.

“Uh, sorry about that,” Jeremy said quickly. “He was just…I don’t think he really knows anything about boundaries.”

“That’s okay,” Ryan said quietly. “I understand why he’s acting the way he is.”

“You do?” Jeremy’s eyebrows rose. “’Cause I sure as hell don’t. But he’s not always like this, I promise. Usually, he’s, well…normal, I guess. Look, Ryan, I understand that he’s a demon and all, but he’s different.”

“Different?” Ryan slowly dropped his hand.

“Yeah, for sure,” Jeremy said eagerly, happy that Ryan was listening to him. “I mean, I was fucking terrified of him at first, not gonna lie. But then I got to know him, and he…uh, it’s hard to explain, but he’s special, you know?” He trailed off, smiling softly to himself.

“Special for a demon, or special in general?” Ryan said. There was a strange expression on his face, as if he was asking an unspoken question.

“Uh, both? Or, neither? I don’t know.” Jeremy shook his head. “I’m not good at articulating this kind of shit. But I mean, like, he even said he had been in love before. That’s gotta mean something, right?”

“He said that, did he,” Ryan stated flatly, his face shadowed.

“I know, right?” Jeremy exclaimed excitedly, leaning forward. “After he said that, I started to doubt everything I thought about demons before. I know it goes against science or whatever you believe in, but I don’t give a fuck. I’ll write my own damn scientific paper on him. And you can help me out with all the fancy smart people words, like hypothesis, or sarcophagus.”

“Sarcophagus, huh.”

“My brain’s fucking melted, man, I don’t even know anymore,” Jeremy said, yawning a bit. “Just promise me you’ll give him a chance, okay?”

“I already am,” Ryan said, giving a sad sort of smile. “I just hope I’m not making a mistake.”

“Oh,” Jeremy said, settling back in confusion. “Uh, okay then, that’s good. Well, that was all I wanted to say. I should probably go to sleep now.”

But he didn’t move, and instead just stared at Ryan, trying to parse out the weird expression on his face.

“Do you…” he started out.

Ryan turned over to him. “Hm? Did you want to stay with me tonight? It might be a squeeze, but we could work it out.”

“What?” Jeremy sputtered. “Yes. I mean no, I’m leaving.” He stood up awkwardly.

“Goodnight, Jeremy.”

“Um, yeah. Goodnight.” He fled down the hall. Before he was out of sight, he risked one last look behind him to see that Ryan’s hands had tightened into fists, and his eyebrows were drawn together painfully. Jeremy blinked, then closed his bedroom door behind him.

In his room, Gavin was perched imperiously up on his bed, arms crossed and looking far too smug. Jeremy hefted out an annoyed sigh.

“Gavin what the hell was that?” he hissed. “We’re working together now. Stop trying so hard to piss the guy off.”

“He asked for it,” Gavin said flippantly.

“It was obviously a joke,” Jeremy said. “Look, I know you guys have some sort of history or whatever, but it’s all bridge under the water. I mean, water under the bridge. Fuck, I’m tired.” He wearily rubbed his aching head.

“That Ryan is up to something,” Gavin said, narrowing his eyes. “Only an idiot would make a deal with a demon willingly like that.”

“Thanks,” Jeremy intoned. “But c’mon Gav, that’s ridiculous. Like Ryan is a petty person, sure. One time he threw a week long hissy fit because Jack vaguely implied he couldn’t use a wrench correctly. But he’s not under-handed, okay? The guy’s so obvious about everything he feels, it’s stupid.” Well, he usually was. Admittedly, he couldn’t understand a singular thing about how Ryan felt around Gavin.

“And yet, you still haven’t figured out he’s in love with you?” Gavin hummed. “Interesting.”

Jeremy, predictably, immediately went red. He wondered if that was just everyone’s trump card against him. It would’ve been funny if it didn’t work every single damn time.

“I…I don’t…” he sputtered. “I mean, fuck, I don’t know, Gavin. Maybe he…just a little…” He trailed off, biting his lip.

“Oh?” Gavin said, eyebrow raised. “You do know, then. What changed your mind?”

“I don’t want to assume anything,” Jeremy said quietly, slumping down on the bed next to him. “But he, uh, asked me out, earlier tonight. And I said yes, ‘cause I’m a fucking dumbass, I guess. Forgot to tell you that after all the nonsense that happened.”

Gavin went stiff, his mouth open slightly and his eyes wide.

“I see,” he breathed. He looked down, a strange smile on his lips. “Of course you said yes. It’s everything you want, how could say no to that? Something like this…it’s an inevitability, isn’t it?”

Jeremy blinked as concern flooded him. “Gav? You okay? I thought you’d be happy to hear that.”

“No, I am happy. This is all I wanted.” Gavin turned to smile at him, but his eyes were closed, and his eyebrows drawn together. “Just a little bit longer, then.”

“Uh, well, hopefully not,” Jeremy said, scratching his head uncomfortably. His stomach twisted into knots.

“Sleep tight, little Jeremy,” Gavin said, shoving him down onto the bed, still grinning that painful smile. “Tomorrow will be a big day. Just one last push.”

“Gav, wait,” Jeremy said, he reached out his hand, but Gavin was gone before he could make contact. He cursed, whirling around to look for him, and even bending down to check under his bed. But Gavin was nowhere in sight. He groaned, aggressively flicking the light off as he settled back in bed.

Despite his exhaustion, he couldn’t quite get himself to relax. His entire body was still fidgeting restlessly, like there were bees swarming underneath his skin. Every time he closed his eyes, images pressed themselves against the back of his eyelids: Gavin’s mischievous eyes in the darkness, Ryan’s hand, warm and steady on his shoulder, Gavin smirking as he kissed Ryan’s cheek.

“Fucking hell,” he whispered, flustered beyond belief. He pressed the heels of his hands down on his eyes, willing the images away, but they just flashed brighter, like a kaleidoscope from hell.

It was a long time before he fell asleep that night.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, he stumbled groggily out his bedroom to find Gavin and Ryan sitting together at his kitchen table, talking seriously with each other. He froze like a deer in the headlights, and reached up to scrub at his eyes, wondering if he was still dreaming. There was something surprisingly domestic about the scene – at the way the warm sunlight spilled out onto the two of them. He gaped silently as Ryan drew a circle in the table with his finger, and Gavin nodded in response, mouth a serious line.

For a moment, Jeremy was caught between retreating back into his room, or creeping closer to eavesdrop – both were pretty bad options. But then Ryan looked up and caught his eye, and those ideas crumbled away.

“Good afternoon, Jeremy,” Ryan said warmly. “Did you sleep well?”

“Considering it’s one o’clock, I’d say yeah,” Jeremy said. He flumped down in the chair across from them. “Whatcha guys talking about?” He looked questioningly over at Gavin, and Gavin’s eyes immediately glazed over. Back to square one with him, then.

“Ah, we were just discussing my plan,” Ryan said. He opened the fridge and pulled out an energy drink, sliding it over to him. Jeremy flashed him a dopey smile. “As it turns out, the creature after you made a move late last night. It’s been hovering about a block away for the past few hours.”

Jeremy stiffened, any vestiges of sleep abruptly draining away. “Oh, shit,” he whispered. “It’s that close?”

“Quite,” Ryan said. “And that’s the part that confuses me. If it is as truly powerful as I believe it is, why show its presence at all? It could easily disguise itself like Gavin does. And I’m sure it has - it’s very likely that we have come in contact with it before, and hadn’t noticed it all.”

A chill ran down Jeremy’s back. “That’s genuinely horrifying,” he said, rubbing at the goosebumps on his arms.

Gavin, who had been methodically tearing a piece of toast into crumbling chunks, snorted. “It honestly wouldn’t take too much to hide from something like you. The devil himself could be right under your nose and you would just smile and offer them a bit of tea.”

“In my defense, I wasn’t actively looking for you,” Ryan said, something a bit petulant in his tone. “And when I did suspect you, you were already perfectly disguised.” He hefted out a small sigh, shaking himself.  “But, as I was saying, I’m not sure why it would want to make itself known. At first I thought it might be some sort of fear tactic, but if that were true, then why hasn’t it made any sort of move towards you?”

“It’s probably just having a look-see, innit?” Gavin said. “I mean, you’ve got a demon, a rogue angel, and a super-powered soul all clustered together. Anything would be curious about something like that.”

“It’s possible, but that still doesn’t explain why it’s not doing that discretely.”

“Also, it’s fucking murdering people,” Jeremy cut in anxiously. He cracked open the energy drink and took a gulp of the cold liquid.

“A good point,” Ryan conceded. “Though it’s a bit too early to pin that on them, we can still safely assume it’s involved in some sort of capacity. Still, it’s been weeks since the last incident.”

“Right,” Jeremy said, jaw working. “Ryan, I didn’t tell you this before for obvious reasons, but actually that night me and Gav had an…encounter with a hellhound the day after I summoned him – after we left Michael’s party. It tried to tear our throats out and whatnot, but Gavin scared him off.”

Ryan’s face paled. “Fuck,” he hissed. “It was a scout, and it waited until I left to make a move. I can’t believe that went over my head.” He dragged a hand across his face, hefting out a frustrated groan. “Then, I have to wonder if it was even aware of Gavin’s presence at all until that moment. Maybe that explains it’s reticence.”

“Maybe it just wants a little chat, then,” Gavin said, standing up. “I could give it that.”

“Wait!”

Ryan and Jeremy simultaneously jolted forward, yanking Gavin back.

“That’s not a great idea,” Jeremy said nervously. “It could be dangerous.”

“He’s right,” Ryan said. “There’s no need to throw yourself in an unsure situation like that – you could injure yourself.”

Gavin sighed dramatically, settling back down. “If you insist,” he said. He turned away, his cheeks a little red.

Ryan cleared his throat. “Anyway, this brings us back to my current plan, which I’ve modified a bit to fit the situation. Basically, it comes down to this – we’re going to give that creature a set-up it won’t be able to resist.” He looked over at Jeremy, and Jeremy blanched.

“You’re not really selling me on this, pal,” Jeremy said. “What do you mean?”

“I was talking with Trevor, and he told me that there’s a way for you to project your essence, like an aura, in a way,” Ryan explained. “And with a soul as powerful as your own, no demon will be able to stay away. So, using that, we will lure it into a trap of our own creation.”

“That’s your fucking plan?” Jeremy exclaimed, horrified. “You want me to wear a neon sign that says ‘eat me’ and just hope everything works out?”

“Obviously, I’m simplifying it quite a bit,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes. “We would have to lay down several circles – some to keep you safe, and others to contain it. Gavin – who is better at stealth – would be lying in wait to ambush it, and then I would arrive to take it out. We’d also have to do this whole set-up a fair distance away, to minimize any more unwanted attention. My hope is that it’ll be so distracted by your presence that it won’t take the time to think about anything.”

“So, wait. Are you saying that if I like, amplify my soul juice or whatever, it’s gonna become high, or what?”

“In a sense, sure,” Ryan said, amused. “Think of it like shining a spotlight directly on them. It would be entirely disorienting, and they would be able to think of nothing more than putting that light out.”

“And they’d also really want to shove the spotlight up their bum,” Gavin chipped in.

Ryan nodded thoughtfully, as if Gavin was saying something that made perfect sense, and not actual nonsense.

“This is kind of an important thing to hinge this whole plan on,” Jeremy said, biting at his nail. “I mean, what if it sees through the ruse?”

“That’s true, but if it does see it as a trap, it will only avoid it. And if does decide to engage, we can take it out anyway. There isn’t much to lose.”

“Says the guy that isn’t acting as bait,” Jeremy said sullenly.

“If this plan makes you uncomfortable, you can feel free to say no.”

“Nah, I’ll do it,” Jeremy said gallantly. “I’ll be the best damn distraction you’ve ever seen – I’ll do a sexy dance and everything. So, when are we doing this?”

“Tonight,” Ryan said, face hard with severity.

Jeremy, who had been halfway through another sip of his energy drink, choked. “What?” he sputtered.

Ryan nodded shortly. “It’s better to go on the offensive as soon as possible, before it catches wind of anything.”

“I get that, but fuck, that’s really soon,” Jeremy said, rubbing at his temples.

“I know,” Ryan said, giving him a pitying look. “I thought it might be good to visit Trevor before that – he could teach you some things for your protection, just in case, along with how to project your essence.”

“Ugh, Trevor two days in a row?” Jeremy grumbled. “That’s gotta be illegal.”

“So, are we all in for this?” Ryan said, eyes flicking in between the two of them.

“Yeah, I’m in,” Jeremy said, stretching out his arms. “Might as well give this a shot – not like I had any other idea. Should we all put our hands and do a cheer or whatever, too?”

Ryan gave a crooked grin. “Sure – it’d be good to raise the team spirits.” He put his hand in the middle of the table. Jeremy shook his head with a laugh and plopped down his hand on top of his. They both turned to look at Gavin, who was pouting slightly, his arms crossed.

“Temporary team,” Gavin insisted.

Ryan’s smile dampened. “Right. Only temporary, of course,” he said quietly.

“Then, alright,” Gavin sniffed, putting his hand in as well. “Such strange human customs. How does this inspire anything?”

“Like this,” Ryan said. He gripped Gavin’s hand, and threw it up with a cheer, Jeremy following suit.

Gavin blinked owlishly. “I don’t understand,” he said.

Ryan gripped his hand harder and let out a laugh. “Because it’s fun,” he said, grinning down at him. “Gets the heart pumping, doesn’t it?”

For some reason, Gavin recoiled backward, as if Ryan had put a knife to his throat. “Not at all,” he said, ripping his hand out of his grasp.

Jeremy squinted at them in confusion, then shrugged.

“Anyway, what a team we are,” Jeremy said. “An angel, a demon, and an idiot human. There’s no way this could all go horribly wrong.”

Ryan sobered. “No way except every way,” he said solemnly.

“So, tonight, then?”

Ryan’s face darkened, and he clutched his hands together. Gavin bit his lip, his leg jittering under the table.

“Tonight.”

 

* * *

 

“Nope, no, that’s completely wrong,” Trevor said irritably. “In fact, I’ve never seen something more wrong in my entire life.”

Jeremy slammed his hands down, exhaling noisily. “Fuck, I don’t know, Trevor. You’ve had your whole life to learn shit like this. I only have a few hours.” He glared down at his sheet of piece of paper, which was cluttered with incomprehensible scribbles of what were supposed to be runes. He crumbled it up aggressively and slammed it into a nearby trashcan.

“That is true,” Trevor said, rubbing wearily at his face. “And technically, you are catching on pretty fast for a complete beginner. C’mon then, another try.” He slapped down another fresh sheet of paper, and Jeremy grumbled quietly to himself as he got to work drawing again.

It had already been a few hellish hours since they decided to meet up with Trevor, who, for some incomprehensible reason, insisted they meet up at some park instead of somewhere warm and inside. The freezing air was a knife against his exposed skin as the wind buffeted around them, picking up stray leaves and trash and whipping them around. Purple clouds hovered ominously on the horizon, blotting out the dull sun and leaving the world grey and lifeless. The coffee that Ryan had thoughtfully bought him had long since solidified into icy sludge.

Jeremy’s teeth chattered as he sketched out another rune, his eyes dry and burning from the chilled air. Trevor had been trying to teach him about protection circles, but despite his artistic background, he still couldn’t get them to the level of perfection that Trevor was insisting. A shiver wracked through his body and his hand holding the pencil jiggled, smudging the rune. He cursed loudly, slamming his pencil down again.

“Is there any reason we’re not doing this in a place I can feel my damn fingers?” he spat.

“Jeremy, do you think that demon out there is going to be sitting next to a fireplace?” Trevor pointed out. “You have to learn to be able to do these sort of things on the fly – no matter the circumstance.”

“Won’t matter if I turn into an icicle before that,” Jeremy groused, rubbing at his arms.

Trevor sighed, sitting back. “Fine. Let’s take a small break, then, and get some more coffee.”

Jeremy immediately brightened. “Oh, thank god. Yeah, let’s go,” he said. He snuck a glance behind him. “I wonder if Gavin and Ryan want anything.”

Trevor followed his gaze over at the two, who were standing a small distance away by the lake. Ryan was skipping rocks, turning over to Gavin every once in a while to say something to him and make a motion with his hand, as if he were trying to teach him how to do it. Gavin’s arms were crossed, and his face was tipped up petulantly, but his eyes were trained on Ryan with interest.

Trevor frowned. “I’ll be honest, the nature of their relationship confuses me. Last night I really thought they were going to tear each other’s heads off – it was quite titillating.”

“I know, right?” Jeremy exclaimed. “They’re the most confusing people I’ve ever been around in my entire life – I don’t understand shit about what’s going on between them. The more I try to understand, the more I don’t get.”

“All people are confusing,” Trevor said thoughtfully. “Maybe it only seems that way to you because they’re the only people you’ve wanted to truly understand.”

For a minute, Jeremy just gaped at him. Then, he shook his head. “Nah, they’re just extra confusing. Fucking angels and demons, what the fuck.”

“If you say so,” Trevor shrugged.  

They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they trudged over to the nearby coffee shop. Jeremy sighed in relief as the warmth of the shop surrounded them like a blanket, melting his frozen limbs. He took a deep breath of the cinnamon-scented air and exhaled blissfully, already feeling marginally better. As Trevor ordered, he found a table in the corner of the room and plopped down there, and eventually, Trevor came back over with their drinks.

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, while we’re on the subject of Gavin and Ryan being confusing,” Jeremy said nervously, drumming his fingers on his steaming mug.

“Oh my, how ominous. What did you want to say?”

“There was something that Gavin told me last night that’s been kinda bothering me,” he said. “I…I’m not sure if I should be telling you this, really, but it might be nothing, I don’t know.”

Trevor’s eyebrows rose. “What did he say?”

“He, uh, said that Ryan was the one that made him ‘fall’,” Jeremy explained, brow furrowed. “And he didn’t really mean that in a literal sense, so I was wondering if it was some sort of demon lingo or something like that, I don’t know. I just don’t even understand how they would’ve been able to be around each other for something like that to happen, since Ryan’s an angel, and…oh.” Jeremy sat back as all the pieces suddenly snapped together in his mind. “Oh, fuck.”

Trevor’s mouth thinned out. “A fallen angel. Interesting.”

“Fuck, fuck,  _fuck_ ,” Jeremy breathed, hands over his mouth. “That’s what he meant by fall. I’m so stupid, oh my god. Trevor, quick, tell me everything you know about fallen angels.”

“Well, they’re angels stripped of any status and powers they once had in heaven,” Trevor said, blowing the steam from his coffee. “They are cast from their home, and ‘fall’ in a sense.”

“But  _how_  do they fall?” Jeremy said, leaning forward.

“There are quite a few different ways, but it usually is caused by some sort of temptation.”

Jeremy’s eyes rounded out, and his face flushed. “Temptation?”

“Not that sort of temptation, necessarily,” Trevor said. “Get your adorable little head out of the gutter. Temptation towards any sort of sin.”

“But Ryan told me he had sinned before,” Jeremy pointed out, frowning.

“That’s not surprising – I’m sure he has more than most.” Trevor laughed to himself, as if he was telling a private joke. “It’s not really the sin itself that causes the fall – angels are not perfect beings. Rather, it’s deciding to turn away from light entirely, deciding that you don’t want to be forgiven.”

Jeremy swallowed as he let those words sink in.

“And then, after they fall, they turn into a demon?” he asked.

“Not always,” Trevor said, steepling his hands. “Many fallen angels decide to live their life on earth, amongst the humans. But some – the most bitter and slighted - do willingly decide to throw the rest of their light away and become a demon.”

“Oh,” Jeremy said, head spinning as he took all this information in. “Fuck. This is…a lot.”

“So, you believe Gavin is fallen, then?”

“No, I know he is,” Jeremy said, rubbing his head. “It makes sense – everything he’s said to me, the way he acts. And that’s how he knew Ryan from before – they were both angels. And then, one way or another, he made him fall, and then Gavin chose to be a demon. Fucking hell. What do I even do about this?”

Trevor was stroking his chin, deep in thought. “Such a strange coincidence, that the one demon you summoned just happened to be so personally tied to Ryan. Or maybe…” He trailed off, and his eyes lit up with recognition. “Or maybe not so much a coincidence in the slightest.”

“Wait, what?” Jeremy said. “What do you mean?”

“Jeremy. How again did you say you summoned Gavin?”

“I, uh, never said,” Jeremy scratched his cheek sheepishly. “Don’t rat me out or anything, but I found the summoning circle set up in Ryan’s office. Then, through a series of really convenient fuck-ups, I accidentally summoned him, and then through another series of fuck-ups, made a contract with him.”

A strange grin grew on Trevor’s face. “Then that’s just it, isn’t it?”

“Wait,” Jeremy said slowly, his brain chugging as it struggled to keep up. “Are you saying that Ryan was trying to summon Gavin specifically, like, on purpose? Why?”

“Why do you think?” Trevor said. “Ryan makes it no secret how much he dislikes demons. So, if this is all true, wouldn’t Gavin be his biggest mistake – a demon of his own creation? He might want to correct that.”

Horror crawled in Jeremy’s stomach. Suddenly, he couldn’t help but remember when Ryan had summoned that crow demon those few weeks ago, and how cold his eyes had looked as he crushed it into ash.

He shook his head slowly. “No, no. It’s not like that. I know it’s not like that.”

He looked back over at Ryan and Gavin through the window. Gavin had daintily picked up a stone, and with one concentrated effort, lobbed it as hard as he could. The stone flopped pathetically about a foot into the water, but Gavin lost his footing, almost tumbling in after it. Ryan caught him and pulled back, and Jeremy could see the worry on his face even from that distance. Gavin quickly wriggled out his grip in a dramatic flapping of limbs, like some sort of flustered bird, before turning away and crossing his arms with a huff.

“No,” Jeremy said softly. “It’s not like that at all.”

“If you say so,” Trevor said. “But if I were you, I’d keep an eye on them just in case.”

Jeremy clutched his coffee tighter, his mind running a mile a minute as he desperately tried to search his mind for any scrap of information to help this situation make more sense. Then, his eyes lit up.

“Wait, what about that project you and Ryan were working on?” Jeremy said, sitting up in determination. “You almost told me about that last night. Is that…connected in any way?”

“Probably!” Trevor flashed an obnoxious grin. “But if Ryan doesn’t want you to know, then I shouldn’t tell you. I’d rather not step on any angelic toes, you know what I mean?”

Jeremy gave him a pleading look, pulling at his arms. “Trevor, c’mon man.”

“Unfortunately, I am quite immune to those captivating little puppy dog eyes. Feel free to use them on Ryan though; I doubt he would last more than three seconds.”

“Fine,” Jeremy spat, shoving him away. “Don’t say anything. I don’t give a fuck.”

“Also, please do not tell Ryan that I know anything, because I very much fear for my life sometimes around him. Not for any particular reason, or anything like that, haha!”

Jeremy gave him a dry look. “Right. Let’s just get back to work before I want to break your dumb head open. We’re not getting anywhere with this.”

They returned back to the slog, Jeremy throwing himself even harder into his studies to try to distract himself. But no matter how hard he tried, his mind continued to wander.

He wondered if Gavin missed being an angel. He had to – Jeremy couldn’t help but think about all those wistful glances up at the sky. And then some way or another, Ryan took that away from him. No wonder Gavin acted so strangely at him after he found out that he was almost Ryan’s summon – he must’ve come to the same conclusion that Trevor had, that Ryan was trying to finish the job. But he knew that that couldn’t be the case. He  _knew_  it. Ryan was trying to give Gavin a chance, maybe trying to make it up to him in a way. But what had actually gone down between them? What had Ryan done to make Gavin fall?

God, he had been such an asshole, trying to force the two of them to get along when he didn’t know shit. He thought back to what he had said to Gavin last night and winced. Who the hell did he think he was? None of this was any of his damn business – he needed to take a step back.

“You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?” Trevor said, propping his head with his hand to give him an unimpressed look.

Jeremy realized with a shock that he had just been staring intently over at Ryan and Gavin, his books abandoned in front of him. He flushed, turning away.

“Sorry, yeah,” he mumbled. “It’s just…I know it’s none of my business or whatever, but I just wish they…” His hands tightened into fists. “I just want them to…”

“Be happy?” Trevor finished.

Jeremy burned redder. “I mean, it sounds silly when you put it like that,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. He peeked back over at Ryan and Gavin. Ryan was saying something to Gavin, his hands held out in a placating way, but Gavin only shook his head, storming off. Ryan’s shoulders slumped, and he turned to gaze out at the lake alone.

Trevor smiled, his eyes sparkling warmly. “No, it’s not silly in the slightest.”

“I’m not good with figuring people out,” Jeremy said. “I never have been. I just know if try to fix things I’m just gonna fuck it up. And they don’t deserve that, you know? I want them to see each other the way I see them.” He winced and put his head in his hands. “Okay, that sounds weird. Fucking hell.”

Trevor was positively glowing now, and Jeremy flinched back, disgusted.

“You wanna know what I think?” Trevor said.

“Not really, but I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me anyway.”

“I think everything will turn out just fine,” Trevor said, grinning brightly.

“Huh. Thanks for the insight,” Jeremy huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t overthink things too much, Jeremy,” Trevor said, waggling his finger importantly. “Just be as honest with them as you are with me. If you are, everything will work itself out. I promise.”

“Right, right,” Jeremy sighed, returning back to his drawings. But somehow, he did feel just a little better.

“But in case it doesn’t, here’s this,” Trevor said cheerily, and plopped a gun down on the table.

“Trevor! What the fuck!” Jeremy exclaimed, scrambling to shove papers over it. “We’re literally in the middle of a park, what is wrong with you?”

“Ah, I was just joking,” Trevor said, winking. “Except not really. I bought this to replace the one that Gavin dissolved – quite rude of him, really – but after hearing about your plan tonight, I thought it might be better to bequeath it to you. It’s got special bullets – gives it that extra holy kick for any extra naughty demons. You know how to use a gun right?”

“I mean, I’ve played paintball once before?”

“Good enough! I completely entrust you with this.” He slid the gun over. “But it’s more of a last resort type thing.”

“Last resort, huh,” Jeremy said, raising an eyebrow. “Was that how it was last night?”

“Very much so,” Trevor said, face hard with importance.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “That’s nice and all, but I’m still not taking a fucking gun – there’s no need for something like that. I’m not like you.”

“Jeremy, listen to me for a second,” Trevor said, grabbing at his hands. “I’ve long since realized that you were never meant for a normal existence. However, I still want you to be careful. It’s easy to forget, but angels are just as disconnected from humanity as demons are, perhaps even more so. When Ryan met you, he was able to shift from that, but it is still very much how he was. And as for Gavin, I don’t know him as well yet, but the way he talked with Azael last night raised a few alarms with me. I am also not quite sure he understands how important a soul is to a human, and he seems to be hiding under quite a worrying amount of denial. I support you Jeremy, and your happiness, but value your own self, over them, okay?”

Jeremy balked at him for a minute, at a loss for words. He nodded dumbly.

“Don’t feel like you have to save them,” Trevor continued. “Just by being yourself around them, that’s all that they need. You are their balance – their humanity - the grounding force that reminds them of what they could be. I can only hope that it’ll be enough.” He sighed wearily, sliding the gun forward even more. “Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself first, that’s all I ask.”

Jeremy met Trevor’s pleading gaze, and gave another serious nod, taking the gun.

“Well, I guess I could keep it just in case.” He grimaced as he hurriedly stuffed in it his bag, feeling like some sort of criminal.

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that,” Trevor said grimly.

 

* * *

 

“How’s everything going over here?”

Ryan smiled as he plopped down next to Jeremy, jolting him out of his concentration.

“It’s been going great,” Trevor said. “Jeremy’s been making considerable progress. I just wish I had more time.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ryan said, lips quirking sadly. “Trevor, do you mind if I talk to you just a bit before we go?”

“Hm?” Trevor sat up expectantly. “Alrighty then.”

Jeremy blinked the blurriness out of his eyes as he refocused on Ryan’s face. His stomach swooped as all the revelations from earlier came swarming back in his mind.

“Oh, ok,” Jeremy said, pushing his thoughts away. “I’ll go get Gavin then.”

He let out small sigh as he stood up, his joints creaking with lack of use. The sun was already dipping below the horizon, washing the world with a sickly orange color, sluggishly spilling through the heavy cloud coverage. He shivered, pulling his jacket tighter around himself as he trudged across the park. Gavin was sitting on a bench, leaning forward as he stared intently at something, his camera forgotten in his lap. Brow furrowed, Jeremy followed his line of sight to see he was actually watching a couple in the distance – hands held tight as they giggled jovially together, as if it wasn’t approaching freezing temperatures.

Jeremy plopped himself down next to Gavin, but he didn’t so much as flinch, gaze still tightly trained on the couple, as if he were trying to pull the secrets of the universe from them. After a minute of awkward silence, Jeremy cleared his throat.

“You, uh, people watching?” he said, tapping Gavin’s shoulder.

“Mm,” Gavin said noncommittally.

They lapsed into a weird silence again. Jeremy played with the idea of bringing up the whole fallen angel nonsense, but he wasn’t even entirely sure how he could begin to conquer that beast. What could he even say – sorry Ryan ruined your immortal life? And also sorry for forcing you to try and get along with him despite it being obvious that something more was going on? He sighed quietly, dispelling the idea.

“Jeremy, what’s human love like?” Gavin said suddenly, almost causing him to jump in surprise.

His head snapped over to Gavin, but he was still watching the couple, who were swinging their arms back and forth dramatically, their delighted laughter echoing across the lake.

“Huh?” he said. “I thought you said you understood love.”

“Not how humans experience it. It’s different, isn’t it?” Gavin said, voice a contemplative hush. “I thought I was an expert on it – I watched so many movies and television shows to prepare myself on it in case I ever got summoned. It was always so pretty to watch, and even the people were sad or fighting, it still looked like so much fun - going on dates to the top of a ferris wheel, holding hands, calling each other silly names – that sort of thing. So, I thought that if I got humans to have that, then maybe I would have fun too.” His hands played absently with the strap of the camera.

Jeremy gaped at him, completely thrown aback. It was a strangely lonely thing to imagine – Gavin sitting all alone with sparkling eyes as he watched something he would never get to experience for himself. His heart wrenched painfully.

“Sometimes it’s fun,” Jeremy said carefully. “And sometimes it isn’t. There’s a bunch of different types of love, I guess, and every human experiences it differently.”

“What about your love for Ryan, then?” Gavin questioned, his eyes flicking to his for a quick second before darting away again. “What’s that like?”

That had been the exact question he hoped Gavin wouldn’t ask. His first instinct was to brush it off, like he had done so many times before, but for once the idea didn’t sit right in his stomach - there was something vulnerable to the slope of Gavin’s shoulders. He turned the question over in his head, mulling over the best way to respond to it.

“Um, it’s nice, I guess,” he said after a while. “Like that feeling you get after a really shitty day, and then you come home and realize things aren’t as bad as you thought they were, and that every thing’s gonna be okay. Does that…make sense?”

“Home, huh,” Gavin said quietly.

Jeremy snuck a glance over at Ryan, who was laughing warmly as he talked with Trevor. His chest swelled.

“Yeah, like home,” he said softly.

Gavin nodded quietly to himself, his fidgeting increasing.

“You know, I had a lot of fun before,” Gavin said. “Being your fake boyfriend and all that. Being able to pretend something like that, even for a little bit…it was lovely.”

“Oh.” Jeremy blinked in surprise. “Um, me too.”

“Do you think…if I was a human, if we had met that way, things would be different between us?” Gavin turned to shyly peek at him, something fragile in his eyes. Jeremy stiffened. He was suddenly very certain that this question was  _important_  somehow, though he couldn’t entirely parse out why.

Gavin being human - he tried to wrap his mind around something like that, but the idea was so alien to him. Maybe he could imagine how they would’ve met somewhere dumb like a coffee shop, or maybe on campus somewhere. Jeremy definitely would’ve been intimidated by someone like him at first. But he was sure that after they talked for a while, that would change. He probably would’ve been blindsided by the way he saw life, the way he talked about everything, and one way or another, he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about him. He was sure they would’ve ended up being friends. So basically, he realized with a chuckle, just as they were now.

“No,” he said, smiling at Gavin. “I don’t think things would have been different at all.”

He immediately knew it was the wrong answer.

Gavin shuttered down, whatever fragile thing he had in his eyes shattering away. Jeremy’s stomach dropped to his feet.

“Oh, I see,” Gavin whispered. “I’m sorry. That was a silly thing of me to ask, wasn’t it?”

Jeremy floundered as he struggled to figure out what he had done wrong. Hadn’t he said the right thing? Why was Gavin upset?

“Wait, Gavin,” he sputtered.

Gavin fixed him with an intense, almost determined stare, and all his words dried up in his throat.

“Jeremy. I’m dying,” he said.

Jeremy stared blankly back, his mind screeching to a stop as he tried to comprehend the turn that the conversation had just taken.

_“What?”_

“I used too much energy yesterday, and I’m running on dregs,” Gavin said. “If I don’t get some soon, I’ll fade away.”

“What the fuck?” Jeremy exclaimed, alarm shooting up his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Gavin looked away. “I forgot.”       

“You forgot you were dying?”

Gavin shrugged.

Jeremy squinted at him suspiciously. Gavin looked well enough – his skin glowed with a healthy tan and his eyes were alert and focused, albeit with tired bruises around them. Under his scrutiny, Gavin let out a small, watery cough.

“I’m dying, Jeremy,” he insisted pitiably.

 Jeremy rolled his eyes. “You know, you could’ve just asked me normally, instead of giving me a heart attack,” he pointed out. “But, uh, sure. What do you want to do?” He looked around nervously, but the park was thankfully mostly abandoned, save for Trevor and Ryan in the distance. “Well, actually, can you wait a bit? Maybe it’d be better if we went somewhere else.”

Gavin was staring unblinkingly at him, just long and intensely enough that Jeremy’s stomach did a flip. Then, he reached forward and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers together.

“Just this is fine,” Gavin said quietly. He curled up against his side, resting his head against his shoulder.

Jeremy blinked rapidly. “Oh,” he said.

Gavin was an awkward, pointy weight at his side, like he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. Jeremy rolled his eyes and slung his arm around him, adjusting him so it wasn’t so uncomfortable. Gavin practically melted against him then, his eyes slitting close. His hand was ice cold in his, and Jeremy absently put his other hand over it and rubbed them together, idly wondering if it was even possible for the guy to warm up.

“He makes you happy, doesn’t he?” Gavin mumbled into his shoulder.

Jeremy froze, his fingers going still. A strange, tight feeling was building in his stomach and up to his throat, making it harder to breathe. Around them, the last warm dredges of sunlight had petered away, and darkness was starting to descend, cold and silent. The clouds seethed and roiled in the distance, and the wind was picking up faster, chafing against his cheeks.

“Yeah, he does,” Jeremy said, brow furrowed with concern. “But Gav, you-”

“Mm. That’s good,” Gavin said, and Jeremy could hear the smile in his voice. “That’s really good.”

Jeremy was at a complete loss for words. He was suddenly overcome by the feeling to say something, to say  _anything_ , but his mind was blank. That sick feeling was building tighter and tighter and his chest, almost smothering him entirely. Trevor had told him to be honest, but how the hell was he supposed to be honest when he didn’t even know what was going on in his own mind?

His jaw snapped shut, and he said nothing.

They stayed like that for a while, until Ryan came to get them. It wasn’t until they were back in his home and readying for the long night ahead when he realized that he had never felt that strange, tugging sensation like he had the first time Gavin took his energy. For some reason, Gavin had just been holding his hand, and nothing more.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was like a goodbye.

 

* * *

 

Tension was thick around them as they drove out into the night. Ryan’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel, and Gavin’s fidgeting had increased ten-fold in the backseat, so much so that the entire car shook along with it. Jeremy just ignored it the best he could, staring moodily out the car window, the passing streetlights imprinting themselves under his eyelids.

“This should be far enough,” Ryan said after a while, pulling off the side of the road.

Jeremy grimaced as he looked out into the dark woods. While he understood the reason why they had to do this sort of thing in the middle of nowhere, he still really wished they could do it somewhere less terrifying, like maybe an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot or something like that. He took one last breath of the warm, heated interior of the car, and pulled the door open. He was immediately bombarded by howling, icy wind, nearly knocking his beanie clean off his head.

“Christ,” he hissed out through gritted teeth. “You couldn’t have picked a better day for this, could you? If it snows, I swear to god.”

“It very much might,” Ryan said, glancing up at the heaving sky. “But we can’t afford to call this off now.”

“Easy for you to say when you probably don’t even feel the cold,” Jeremy grumbled mutinously. He thought longingly about his warm bed at home, and the spiked hot chocolate that could be waiting for him.

“No, I feel it,” Ryan said. He looked away, his breath misting out in small puffs. “I always have.”

Gavin met Ryan’s gaze, a strange expression on his face, the silence heavy between them.

“Okay, I get it,” Jeremy sighed, wrapping his arms around himself. “No need to get all dramatic.”

Before Jeremy could say anything else, both Ryan and Gavin simultaneously stiffened, as if an electric shock coursed through them.

“It’s on the move,” Ryan said, switching on his flashlight and pointing at the dark woods. The pine trees danced under the gusting wind. “Let’s hurry this up.”

They trudged into the forest, Ryan taking point with his flashlight. Jeremy trailed closely behind him, resisting the urge to hold onto the back of his jacket. Every creak of wood or snapping twig sent fear shooting up his heart, and the rustling of pine needles around them chattered like a chorus of whispers. He sent a nervous look behind him and nearly jumped out of his skin. Gavin was watching the back of Ryan’s head intently, his eyes two unwavering pinpricks of light in the darkness. He shivered, and stepped closer to Ryan.

After about ten minutes of walking, they arrived at some sort of clearing. Ryan nodded to himself.

“This should be good,” he said. “Let’s set everything up.”

They got to work meticulously drawing the circles, Ryan double-checking and triple-checking every rune he traced. It was arduous work, and his back and knees started to ache from bending over so much. After he finally finished he sat up, his joints creaking loudly with protest. Looking over, he noticed that Gavin had pulled Ryan to the side, pressed up close to him as he whispered something in his ear. He was too far away to catch what it was, but Ryan had gone stock-straight, his face entirely red.

Well, that couldn’t be good.

“I’m all done over here,” he said, hurriedly jogging over to them.

“Oh, that’s good,” Ryan said distractedly. He looked as if he had been slapped, his eyes wide and unfocused, and two bright spots on his cheeks. Jeremy sent a searching glance over at Gavin, but he smoothly avoided his gaze, his grin shark-like and calculating.

“You, uh, okay there?”

“Hm? Oh, yes. I’m fine,” Ryan said. He cleared his throat, dispelling the red from his face. “You said you were finished?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy sent one last suspicious look to Gavin, then shrugged inwardly. “What now?”

“Well, now we activate the protection circle,” Ryan said. “First, get into place, then read what Trevor gave you.”

Jeremy went to go stand in the middle of the circle, and took out the book Trevor had given him, feeling horribly awkward.

“You sure this will work?” he said nervously, running his fingers over the yellowed pages of the book. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Ryan gave an encouraging smile. “Give it a shot.”

“If nothing happens, don’t laugh at me,” Jeremy muttered. He took a deep breath to steady himself, just as Trevor had taught him. Then, he began to speak, the Latin words heavy and awkward on his lips. As soon as he uttered out the last word, there was a blinding pulse of red light, and the air crystallized around him, forming a shimmering barrier. He gaped, his hands falling to his sides.

“I did it,” he breathed. “I actually did something, oh my god.”

He broke out into an ecstatic grin, bringing his fingers up to lightly brush up against the barrier. They easily passed through, with little resistance.

“Of course you did,” Ryan said. He was smiling proudly, and even Gavin’s eyes were soft with fondness.

“I _did_ something,” Jeremy repeated, breath quickening. He thought back to all the times he had been fucked over by demons, all the times he couldn’t do a thing, beaten down time and time again, until Ryan was forced to rescue him. But now, for the first time, he actually had a way to do something, to stop being such a damn burden all the time, to fight back against the things that made his life miserable. Power thrummed through his veins, and Trevor’s gun was a cold, thrilling weight against his thigh.

“Now, Jeremy, it is extremely important that you do not leave or break this circle,” Ryan said, face tight with seriousness. “Do you understand? No matter what you see or hear tonight, do not leave this area until everything is safe. Are you listening?”

“Yeah, I’m listening,” Jeremy said distractedly. He tightened his hands into fists, his mind buzzing with possibilities. “So, what’s next?” He was nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet with eagerness.

“Gavin and I will get into place, and then you will activate your rune for projection. If it does show up, that’s when you should use the containment circles. But mostly, we just wait and hope.”

“Hope I don’t get my head torn off?”

“It won’t,” Ryan said. He walked up to him and knocked his hand against the barrier. “This is quite strong. Nothing will be able to make its way in.”

“Not even you?” Jeremy said, eyebrow raised.

“I technically count as a hostile entity,” Ryan explained, lips quirked strangely. “So, no.”

“Uh, right,” Jeremy said. “Well, do I look tempting enough?” He did a dumb little dance, sticking his tongue out.

“Very much so,” Ryan said. His brows drew together, and he lifted his hand to press his fingers against the barrier. “And yet, it’s always like this.”

Jeremy started to laugh, then trailed off when he realized Ryan was serious, staring in frustration at the barrier, like he wanted to disintegrate it with his eyes.

“Nah, it’s not,” he said. He reached out and pushed his hand through the barrier, tangling their hands together. “What are you even talking about? I’m right here, aren’t I?”

Ryan blinked in shock, staring blankly at their joined hands. Then, his expression softened, his cheeks pinkening.

“You’re right,” he said gently. “This is how it is – I just forgot, that’s all.”

They smiled goofily at each other, and the moment was surprisingly tender - the cold, ominous forest around them fading to the background. Then, there was a rustle of movement, jolting him out of it. He turned just in time to see Gavin disappear into the forest, his hands jammed into his pockets.

“Oh, shit,” he said, alarmed. “Gavin just left.” He made a move to follow after him, but Ryan held him back.

“He’s just getting into position – there’s no need to worry.”

Jeremy sighed, settling back into his circle. “He’s always like that,” he mumbled sullenly. “Just when think you finally have a hold on him, like you finally get him - poof! He’s gone, just like that.”

“Poof, indeed,” Ryan said, staring at the place that Gavin had left.

“Can you maybe…keep an eye on him tonight?” Jeremy ventured carefully. “He’s just been acting so strange lately, and I dunno, I feel like something bad is gonna happen.”

“You should be more worried about yourself,” Ryan pointed out. “But I will, if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you,” Jeremy said, relieved.

“I should…probably go, then,” Ryan said awkwardly. He was looking down, and Jeremy followed his gaze to see that they were still holding hands.

“Oh, oops,” Jeremy stuttered. “Yeah, you should totally go.”

Neither of them moved. Then, Ryan cleared his throat. He untangled their hands, face scrunched up, like he was using some extreme effort.

“Be safe,” he said, stepping back. “There are many good times for recklessness, but tonight is not one of them.”

“Right, right.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I’ll just stay safe and sound in my little bubble like good little bait, and let the big boys do all the work.” He said it in a joking way, but the words tasted like acid in his mouth.

“Don’t worry about anything. It’ll be all over soon.”

He turned to walk away, but Jeremy reached out again, grasping his jacket and yanking him to a stop.

“I, uh, I was wondering,” Jeremy said. “Maybe, after all this is over, the three of us can do something together. Gav said he never saw fireworks before, so maybe something like that, I don’t know. I know you guys are fighting right now, but I’m sure if you just spend more time together, maybe you guys can get along, or something.” Ryan was staring intently at him, and he felt heat rise to his cheeks. “I mean, it’s just an idea,” he added sheepishly.

Ryan looked exhausted, then, his eyes creased and dull, and his shoulders drooped.

“It’s not possible for things to work out that easily, Jeremy,” he said wearily. “Not even in a perfect world.”

He gave him one last pained look before turning around and disappearing into the dark woods. Jeremy watched him leave, before sinking down to his knees with a groan.

“Always so fucking dramatic,” he muttered, scrubbing at his eyes.

He was suddenly very conscious how alone he was, and he shivered, wrapping his arms around his knees. All he had was Ryan’s flashlight to comfort him, and everywhere he pointed it stretched out long shadows.

It was weird to think about how he would soon confront the demon that had been watching him for weeks now – a demon terrifying enough that even Ryan was having hesitations about it. He tried to imagine what they even would look like, if they were that powerful – would they look similar to Gavin, or would they look closer to something like Trevor’s summon? Or maybe, neither – more like the frightening amalgamations he would see on late night television when he would build up the courage to watch every once in a while. Another shiver wracked his body as he considered it, and the trembling pine trees felt like they were closing in on him. His hand wandered to the gun at his side again.

Just then, his phone vibrated, nearly sending him a foot in the air as he jumped in fear.

“Christ,” he cursed. He irritably yanked it out, but it was just a text from Ryan declaring that he was in position. Jeremy swallowed, his annoyance shriveling away. His tongue darted out to wet his chapped lips.

It was time.

He tugged off one of his gloves, and pulled out the switchblade Ryan had given him. The thin blade glinted wickedly in the wavery beam of the flashlight. Biting the inside of his cheek, he quickly swiped it across the meat of his hand, drawing blood.

“Let’s do this,” he whispered to himself, and let his blood drip onto the ground.


	11. If You Love Them, Let Them Suffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha hello again! <3 it's been a hot minute since the last update, hasn't it? I don't want to say that this chapter was the bane of my existence these past months, but it really was lmao. I kinda hate it tons? Also, one way or another, it ended up being the lengthiest chapter i've ever written, which is kinda ridiculous. I probably should've split it in two, but I couldn't really find a good point to do that? So I just had to leave it as this giant disaster mess. I hope the pacing isn't too weird, and that everything is, you know, readable. I can't even physically force myself to look at this chapter anymore, so it is what it is, I guess? i'm sorry ;;; i hope ya'll enjoy nonetheless......

As soon as Jeremy’s blood hit the ground, the world went white.

He stumbled backwards, blinking rapidly to dispel his disorientation. As quickly as it came, the white bled away, pulsing through the surrounding woods, blowing back the pine trees with its force.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, bringing up a hand to touch his chest. “That was inside of me?”

He watched as the light dispersed into the darkness, unsure whether to feel amazed or disturbed. His phone vibrated again, and he pulled it out to see a thumbs up emoji from Ryan.

“And now we wait to get eaten,” he muttered, tucking his phone away.  He wrapped his arms around himself, and settled in to wait.

Each second dragged by agonizingly slow, each beat of his heart seeming to stretch out into infinity. He concentrated on quieting his breathing, straining to listen for any sort of abnormality. But he heard nothing strange: only the rustle of pine among the noisy howling of the wind.

How long would it take for the demon to show up? His entire body was tensed up with anticipation, and despite his layers of clothing, the cold was persistent, snaking its frigid fingers past his skin and settling into his bones. His hand shook uncontrollably as he waved the flashlight around, carefully inspecting each shift of the branches, each slither of shadow.

God, this was the absolute fucking worst. He hated this: the waiting, the suspense. He’d much rather be out there doing something –  _anything_  - rather than this hell. And what if the demon didn’t even show up? Maybe it didn’t actually want to eat him at all, and was just some sort of voyeur or something, he didn’t know. He wrapped his arms around himself and started to carefully pace inside the circle, desperate to do anything to occupy his whirring mind. More minutes dragged painstakingly by. He paced faster.

There was a creaking of wood, and he whirled around, heart stuttering frantically. But it was only a dumpy looking bird with eerily bright eyes settling on a branch, its head tilting as it studied him.

“Fucking hell,” Jeremy breathed, putting a hand over his chest. “Dumb bird. Go and be with your friends in Florida or whatever. It’s too damn cold here.” He waved his hand out in a shooing motion.

But the bird didn’t move, head tilting further.

Jeremy sighed, settling back. “Are you hungry, maybe? Must not be much food all the way out here, huh?” He fished through his pockets for a bit, before triumphantly pulling out a crumpled bag of doritos. “Aha! You are one lucky bird. You’re about to get fat as fuck.”

He cracked open the bag and poured out a pile of crumbs, brandishing them forward. But the bird still didn’t move, its beady eyes regarding him carefully.

“Oh! You’re probably scared of humans, right?” Jeremy realized. “I’m being an idiot - I’ll just leave them over here, okay?”

He took a few steps backwards and froze abruptly. He had almost walked straight out of his protective circle – that was intelligent. Shaking his head, he dropped the crumbs to the ground.

“Sorry, buddy,” he said. “You’ll have to come to me. Kinda trapped in a cage, here – the irony, am I right?”

The bird took off in a flutter of movement, disappearing into the dark woods.

Jeremy sighed heavily, and returned back to his frantic pacing. Talking to birds, great. He was already losing his mind.

Why the hell was the demon taking so long, anyway? Had it decided to stop for pizza before coming to eat his soul? It was getting ridiculous. He could feel himself starting to get a little stir-crazy; his hands jittering wildly against his thighs. He was about a second away from just straight out bolting into the woods like a madman just because he could.

Just then, his phone vibrated, and he excitedly yanked it out. It was Ryan again, but he was calling this time, and he frowned a bit as he put it to his ear.

“Ryan? How’s everything going?” he said.

“Jeremy,” Ryan wheezed, and he froze. Ryan’s voice was strung out and thin, as if he had just run a marathon.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” he said, clutching his phone like a lifeline.

“Everything’s wrong,” Ryan continued, scratchy and indistinct. “Everything’s so wrong, Jeremy. I can’t get out, and there’s snow everywhere, so much snow, and I can’t see the sky anymore…”

“Snow?” Jeremy echoed, looking around in confusion at the clear air. “What’s going on?”

“I messed up, Jeremy. It wasn’t going for you at all – it wasn’t you it wanted. But I was so blind, and now I can’t…I can’t find Gavin.”

Jeremy’s eyes went wide. “Gavin? Where are you? I’m going there.” He took a step forward.

“No!” Ryan barked out, and the raw desperation in his voice stopped him in his tracks. “Stay where you are. I just need you to know that if anything happens to me…if anything happens, you call Trevor, okay?”

“What?” Jeremy exclaimed, fear clawing its way up his throat. “What are you talking about?”

“Jeremy, I’m so sorry. I never meant…shit!” There was a rustle of movement on the other end, the snapping of a twig, and the line went dead.

“Ryan!” Jeremy cried. He fumbled with his phone, quickly redialing the number, but it went straight to voicemail. Slowly, mechanically, he dropped his hand to his side. It was shaking violently, and this time he couldn’t quite blame it on the cold.

What the hell was he supposed to do? Ryan had told him to stay where he was, but how could he do that? Ryan was in trouble, and Gavin was missing, and he was just supposed to sit around with his thumb up his ass? There was no way he could nothing, no fucking way. Nodding to himself, he straightened his shoulders.

But if he was going to barreling headfirst into the belly of the beast, he wanted to at least try to be vaguely smart about it. If there was one thing he learned about his demonic encounters, it was that you probably couldn’t just punch a demon in the face and expect everything to turn out okay. He bit at his lip, and pulled out Trevor’s book. Flipping to the back of it, he tore out several blank pages, hoping it wasn’t some sort of priceless artifact or anything like that. Then, he quickly sketched a couple runes – some for protection and some for harm. As much as he could remember from what Trevor had told him, these were non-verbal bits of magic, and only needed blood to activate. They wouldn’t be as strong, but they’d do in a pinch, hopefully.

He tucked them away in his pants pocket, and pulled out Trevor’s gun. For a minute, he just stared entranced at it. It was a nice looking pistol – sleek and silver and inlaid with a scattering of intricately carved runes among the barrel. Would he even be able to use it? It always looked so simple in video games – just point and shoot. But it was a cold, heavy, weight in his hand, and a trickle of nerves ran down his back. He shook himself. There was no time to be cowardly. If it came down to it, he had to use it.

With his flashlight in one hand and the gun in the other, he stepped to the edge of his protection circle. He stared down at the line, swallowing hard. This was it – no turning back after this.

“Sorry Ryan,” he said quietly, and stepped over the line.

He whirled in the direction that Ryan had left from and tromped determinately forward. So much for not being an idiot – he had no idea where the hell he was even going. Fuck getting killed by demons – he was gonna get lost in the woods and die of hypothermia. The shivering pines seemed to close in on him, like they swallowing him whole. His breath gusted out of him in shaky white clouds.

“Ryan?” he called out. “Gavin? Anyone here?” Nothing but the whistling wind answered him.

This was eerily familiar, he realized, to the night of the Halloween party, stumbling blind and terrified into the woods to find some mysterious creature. He hoped it would at least end the same way.

Steeling himself, he ventured deeper into the forest. The reaching branches snagged on him, tearing at his jacket and nipping at any exposed skin. He felt a bite of cold on his cheek, and he looked up, irritated, to see flecks of white swirling around in the air.

_Of course_ , he thought sullenly, pulling his jacket closer around himself.

“Ryan?” he tried again, his voice not making much traction in the heavy air. “Where-”

“ _Jeremy?_ ”

Jeremy froze, his heart in his throat. The voice was quiet, barely a whisper over the wind, but it was unmistakable.

“Ryan!” he cried, warm relief growing in his chest. “Ryan, I’m here.”

He burst forward towards the origin of the voice, impatiently shoving tree branches out of his way.

“ _Jeremy, it hurts_.” His voice was weaker now, and further away.

“Hold on,” Jeremy said, breath quickening with fear. “I’m coming for you now.”

“ _Jeremy, please. It hurts so bad_ ,” Ryan croaked out.

A dark shape bolted forward ahead of him, disappearing into the brush, and Jeremy darted after it.

“Wait, Ryan!” he yelled. “Slow down; where are you going?”

He crashed through the brush after him, and stumbled to an abrupt stop. Looming in front of him was some sort of massive abandoned factory. It was burst open and sagging like a rotten pumpkin, snarling vines and trees curving up its sides like it was trying to pull the building back down into the earth. The dark shape quickly darted forward, disappearing inside.

_Fuck me,_  Jeremy thought, and chased after them, ducking under a hole in the chain-link fence. The rusted doors of the factory were wrenched wide open, and he tightened his grip on the gun as he pushed inside.

The gusting wind immediately cut off, giving way to absolute silence. The darkness of the factory was oppressive around him. He pointed his flashlight about, revealing high, arching ceilings held up by crumbling pillars, and piles of trash and steel scattered on the ground.

“Ryan?” His voice echoed morosely around him in the large room, bouncing off the metal walls before petering off into silence.

He took a step forward and immediately jammed his foot on something hard, almost sending him sprawling. Cursing, he shined his light down to see it was some sort of orb rolling absently across the floor. Shoved up against the sides of the factory were piles upon piles of them, of various sizes and quality. His light warped and bent strangely around them.

_Snow globes_ , he realized, brow furrowed.  _What the hell are they doing here?_

“ _It hurts so much. I can’t take it anymore._ ”

Jeremy jolted up. Ryan’s voice was much closer now, only just to his left. He spun around, sprinting forward again.

“ _it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts_ ”

Ryan was huddled up against the back wall, head between his knees, rocking back and forth. Jeremy’s eyes widened in terror. He skidded next to him, falling to his knees.

“Ryan! What’s wrong?” he said. “What’s hurting you?”

Ryan was pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes, so Jeremy reached forward and gently pried them away. Then, his blood ran cold. Black sludge was leaking from his eyes, bubbling up from his sockets and spilling down his face. Jeremy yelped, falling backwards as those eyes settled on him.

“You are,” Ryan said, more of that sludge gurgling from his lips. “You’re hurting me.”

Ryan dragged himself to his feet, his movements jerky and unnatural. His head lolled to the side, like he didn’t have the strength to keep it upright.

“What the hell happened to you?” Jeremy breathed, shaking his head slowly.

“You’re always hurting me,” Ryan said. “That’s all you can do.”

“I don’t…I don’t understand,” Jeremy said, voice catching with fear.

Ryan let out a gurgling laugh. “You’re a burden to me, can you understand that?”

Jeremy gaped at him for a minute, at the cruel light in his dark eyes, at the unnatural way his limbs supported him. Then, he shook himself. He whipped his gun up, pointing it right at Ryan’s head.

“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” he snarled. “Who are you, and what have you done with Ryan?”

For a long tense moment, Ryan just stared at him. Then, his lips curved into an unnerving smile, his teeth stained with that dark sludge.

“Well, you’re no fun,” he said. He leaned backwards, and his skin burst open.

Black muck gurgled up from his body like a geyser, ripping through his skin and running into a puddle at his feet, consuming him entirely. As Jeremy watched in horror, a dark arm burst out of the sludge, scrabbling for purchase against the concrete floor. Then, another arm broke free, and another, and  _another_ , until there were eight arms whirring around and tangling horrifically with each other. They abruptly straightened out, and pushed against the floor, and a glistening body started to rise from the sludge. Every single one of Jeremy’s muscles froze up in terror.

It was absolutely fucking disgusting – with a spiderlike torso propped up by spindly arms as it skittered across the floor, its dark skin wet and gleaming and dripping slightly, and a human-like face with multiple rolling eyes, all red with fury. It grinned at him – its teeth too white and too large.

“He told me not to harm you,” the demon said, dragging itself slowly forward, leaving a slick trail behind. “But just a little bite shouldn’t hurt that much.”

Jeremy couldn’t move – paralyzed from head to toe. He watched helplessly as it pulled closer and closer, slavering out sludge and spittle from its mouth.

_Shoot_ , Jeremy told himself _. Shoot your gun, you dumbass cowar_ d. But the cold gun was useless in his stiff grip.

The demon slithered closer. “But only just a little, just a little,” it huffed, eyes gleaming with excitement. Its hands reached towards him.

_Shoot your fucking gun!_  He gnashed down his teeth, hard, on the inside of his cheek, drawing blood. His limbs jolted back into action, and he pulled the trigger. The gun knocked back with the force, nearly clocking him in the chin. But the bullet went wide, pinging one of the pillars to the left of the demon. Jeremy’s ears rang painfully from the deafening noise.

The demon froze, turning to look at the bullet’s impact. “Oh? Is the fledgling summoner fighting back?” it said. “Good. That’ll make things more fun.” It grinned larger, and slung itself up the pillar, disappearing into the darkness above.

Jeremy scooped up his flashlight and pointed it upwards, but the demon was nowhere in sight. He cursed and scampered to the side behind some sort of giant broken down machine, breathing hard as he collected himself.

“Where the fuck are Gavin and Ryan?” he called out, injecting as much confidence in his voice as he was able. “I’m not afraid to blow your brains out.”

“You mean the jilted angel and the pathetic heir?” the demon responded, its gravelly voice echoing from above.

“Heir?” Jeremy concentrated hard, trying to locate where the voice was coming from, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint it among the echoing darkness.

“They are watching you right now. Can’t you hear them desperately calling your name?” The demon cackled.  “Let’s give them a good show - I’ve always wanted to see an angel cry.”

Jeremy’s eyes went wide. They were nearby, if the demon was speaking the truth. He quickly flashed his light around, but he saw nothing beyond piles of trash, snow globes, and broken machines. Where the hell were they? Maybe tied up and hidden somewhere?

“He gave me so much power to play with you all today. I shouldn’t let him down,” the demon said. There was a horrible skittering noise above him, and he flicked up his flashlight in time to see a dark shape slipping away.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jeremy hissed. “Get down here so I can fucking destroy you, already.” He shook his head in irritation. The demon was just spouting nonsense – he wasn’t even sure if he could take anything it was saying as truth. Something cold plopped on his head, and he wiped it away in irritation.

“If you insist,” the demon laughed.

Jeremy stiffened, and slowly brought his hand up. It was smudged black.

“Shit!” he cried. He whipped his gun up, but it was a second too late. The demon fell from above, crushing him to the floor under its body. He was completely pinned – its festering sludge seeping through his clothes and singing his skin. He couldn’t move an inch, unable to even lift his head under its sweltering weight. All he was able to do was roll his eyes around in fear as the demon gnashed its teeth in front of him.

He was totally fucked.

“Aw, poor little summoner,” the demon cooed. “Talked so big, and yet you’ve ended up like this. It’ll be fun to tear you apart. But only a little, just a little.”

Hot panic clawed its way up his throat, and his breath quickened into terrified little puffs. The thing was pressing down to him, and it was getting hard to breathe with how his chest was constricted. It dripped spittle down onto his face as it stared excitedly down at him.

“Don’t hold back now,” the demon soothed. “I want them to hear you scream.”

He felt a hundred fingers snake around his right arm, and the demon began to slowly pull. Jeremy grit his teeth, banishing his fear away, focusing all his strength on wriggling free. Using every scrap of effort he could muster, he was able to just wiggle one of his fingers on his left hand. It lightly brushed the edge of his pocket, and hope jumped in his chest.

The demon wrenched his arm painfully, and he couldn’t help his shout of pain. But it still kept pulling, stretching his tendons, his joints creaking with protest. His eyes went wide with horror - the damn thing was actually trying to tear his fucking arm off.

He redoubled his frantic wriggling, and he was just able to feel the brush of paper inside his pocket. He tried to pull it out, but it just frustratingly slipped through his fingertips. The demon twisted and pulled harder, and Jeremy’s eyes bulged out as he choked back his screams. He had to hurry – only a bit more would have his arm right out of his socket. But thankfully, the demon had jostled him enough that he was able to move his hand enough to yank the rune out of his pocket. He crumpled it up into his fist, praying that he was still bleeding.

“The only one that’s gonna be screaming is you,” he spat, and shoved the rune up into the demon’s flesh.

There was a deafening screech as the demon rolled off him, clutching his side, which was bubbling and dissolving. Jeremy quickly scrambled up, scooping up his fallen pistol. Then, he slammed the demon against a pillar, sticking the gun against its head.

“I talk big because I am big, bitch,” he snarled, shoving the demon again hard. “Now I’m only gonna ask one more goddamn time – where the hell are Gavin and Ryan?”

The demon’s eyes narrowed in hatred. “I already told you – they’re right here, watching you. They are both in trouble, as well.”

“In trouble?” Jeremy’s eyes widened. “What did you do to them?”

“If you could only pick one to save, who would it be? They’re both running out of time, you know.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and grinded the gun in deeper. “Are you really gonna be spewing bullshit while I have a fucking gun to your head? Just answer my questions - what the hell have you done with Ryan?”

“So, you choose the angel, then. I suppose that’s not surprising,” the demon said, mouth curving up into a horrific grin.

“What? I didn’t-”

“He’s over there,” the demon said, pointing off to the side towards a pile of snow globes. “You might want to hurry.”

The demon let out a gurgling cackle as it melted down into sludge, freeing itself from his grasp. As Jeremy blinked in shock, it slipped away, disappearing into the shadows once more. Jeremy cursed and quickly shot off his gun, but it hit nothing but empty concrete.

“Fuck that thing,” he hissed.

He bent down to retrieve his flashlight, nervously flicking it around as he sped over to the place the demon had pointed out before. But beyond the snow globes, there was nothing there, and he cursed in defeat. Of course the demon had been just fucking around with him – why had he even believed it for a second? But as he started to walk away, his light rolled over the globes, and he froze, slowly turning back. Sitting in the middle of the pile was a single snow globe, glowing a strange, ethereal white. His brow furrowed as he gently picked it up. It was ice cold to the touch, and nearly filled to the top with little clumps of fake snow. Entranced, he gave it an experimental shake, and the buildup of white barely budged.

“There’s no fucking way,” he whispered. But the globe only glowed brighter, almost blinding him. Shaking his head in disbelief, he hefted the globe thoughtfully in his hand. Then, he pulled back, and smashed it on the hard ground.

Immediately, there was an explosion of white from the shattered globe, blasting him backward. Snow unfurled out of the ground in clumps. And in the middle of it all, lay Ryan, coughing hard and clutching his arms around himself.

“Ryan!” Jeremy cried. “Holy shit! Are you alright?” He bolted forward, sliding through the snow next to him. Ryan’s skin was paper-white and his lips were tinged with blue. He pulled the angel into his lap, brushing the icy slush from his hair and face. Ryan was shaking slightly, so he yanked off his own jacket, draping it over Ryan’s chest. He rubbed furiously up and down Ryan’s arms, trying to create some warmth. Ryan stilled, his breathing evening out.

“I…I’m fine,” Ryan croaked. He scrunched his face up as he slowly opened his eyes. Jeremy felt warm relief bloom in his chest. It was Ryan’s normal eyes – kind and familiar and very much sludge free.

“It’s you,” he breathed. “You’re okay.”

Ryan blinked several times, before his gaze softened. “It’s me,” he said gently.

“Ah, what a touching reunion.” The demon laughed. “I hope you don’t regret your choice.” They looked up to see the demon dangling above them, juggling a black orb between its multiple arms.

“You’re outnumbered, you dumb shithead,” Jeremy yelled up at it. “We’re just gonna beat your shit in again – just give up and tell us where Gavin is.”

“But you’ve already made your choice,” the demon said. “I’ll keep him safe – no need to worry. He’s being unreasonable right now, but he’ll see my way soon enough. There’s someone very worried about his current state, you see. Anyway, I still want to play, so feel free to follow me.”

It swung away into darkness again, deeper into the factory, and Jeremy bristled.

“God, I am so fucking sick of that thing,” he grit out. He turned to look over at Ryan, who was pulling himself up into a standing position, and his blood ran cold. Ryan’s face was tight with fury, and it was directed right at him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ryan hissed. “I told you to stay where you were.”

Jeremy reeled back in surprise. “What? Are you being serious? I just saved your life.”

“I had it covered,” Ryan said, crossing his arms. “Just a little longer and I would’ve freed myself.”

“Oh, really now?” Jeremy snorted. “Well, excuse me for being concerned for you when you were stuck inside a fucking snow globe.”

“I was fine,” Ryan insisted. “There’s no reason for you to be here – you need to leave.”

“Are you – what?” Jeremy exclaimed, irritation rising up in him. “I’m not fucking leaving, Ryan. This is so stupid – I can fight.”

“This isn’t a matter of you being capable or not – I know that you are,” Ryan explained patiently. “It’s a matter of you being the only one of us here that can be permanently injured. That thing – it’s attempting to use you as leverage against Gavin.”

“I don’t care what it’s planning to do,” Jeremy shot back. “I’m staying to help. Didn’t you see what I did before?”

“Yes. I saw everything,” Ryan said, face shadowed. “And that was all I could do. Being completely helpless like that, while you were in pain…”

“Well, now you know how I feel all the time, huh?” Jeremy said, glaring intensely up at him.

Ryan froze, his lips parting in shock.

“But...I…it’s not the same,” he said weakly.

“Ryan, there’s no time to argue about this bullshit while Gavin could be in trouble,” he snapped. “I’m staying – no matter what you say.”

Ryan stared at him for a minute, before he let out a gentle sigh, his head lowering.

“You’re right. We’ll fight together, okay?”

Jeremy perked up, the knots in his stomach loosening.

“Together,” he agreed. Ryan matched his smile, but he didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“But what even should we do?” Jeremy continued, rubbing at his arms. “That thing is annoying, but it’s strong, too. And I think it might have Gavin with him.”

Ryan nodded, brow furrowed. “I don’t think it intends to harm him, though. Instead, it seems like it’s trying to coerce him into doing something, I think, using us two as pawns.”

“What the fuck?” Jeremy said, pointing his light around anxiously. “That’s messed up.”

“Quite,” Ryan nodded. “No matter what, we can’t play into what it wants. Firstly, and most importantly, we need to get Gavin away from it.”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, punching the palm of his hand. “And then we pound it into dust.”

“I mean, what else?” Ryan said, lips quirking. “To do that, I think we should employ our same tactic as before, except this time, _I_  will be the distraction.” He held out his hand, and a gleaming sword materialized in his grasp, wickedly sharp and glowing slightly.

Jeremy’s jaw dropped. “You have a fucking angel sword?”

“Yeah!” Ryan leaned forward, his eyes sparkling wildly. “I also have an axe, two katanas, a pair of spears, a javelin, a bow and arrow, a flamethrower, and over three hundred different types of knives. Would you like to see?”

“I mean, hell yeah, but maybe not right now.”

Ryan settled back, blushing a bit. “Right.” He shook himself. “Anyway, I’m going to get you an opening, and when you see it, you give the finishing shot.”

Jeremy nodded tersely. “I can do that.”

Ryan reached forward and took his hand, placing it on the left side of his chest. “You have to aim right here, alright? When you see that opening, you can’t hesitate, and you can’t miss. Can I trust you with that?” Ryan was staring intensely at him, and a trickle of unease ran down Jeremy’s back. Under his hand, Ryan’s heartbeat was so strong and steady that it was almost unnerving.

“Of course you can,” he said nervously. Ryan nodded and stepped away, but Jeremy grasped onto his jacket, pulling him back. “Together, right?” he added.

Ryan’s eyes rounded out in surprise, before softening with warmth. “Always,” he said, and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. While Jeremy reeled back, flushing, Ryan stepped forward, his wings bursting out of his back in a flash of brilliant light.

“Now, let’s end this,” he said, and rocketed forward into the air.

Jeremy blinked rapidly. Well, okay. The guy he was in love with just kissed his forehead and then fucking grew wings and flew up in the air like some sort of angelic Superman – his life totally made sense. He quickly collected himself, making sure he had a firm grip on his gun and flashlight. Then, he darted after Ryan, deeper into the factory. He sprinted into the next room – another massive warehouse, occupied by large metal tanks and maze of walkways up in the ceiling. The windows had all been smashed, and gusted in sheets of snow and frigid air. Above him, the demon lounged in the rafters, even more bulbous and bloated than before, and shuffling that black orb between its eight arms.

“Of course he didn’t choose you. Of course he doesn’t want you,” the demon was saying, in a conversational tone. “All humans are the same. They’ll use you and then they’ll throw you away. Again. And Again. And Again. Until you have nothing left to give. Until you are nothing.” The demon let out a wheezing laugh. “But they keep taking.”

“Enough of this,” Ryan said, brandishing out his sword. “Let him go.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to go, have you ever thought of that?” the demon sighed. “So conceited, these angels.”

“Perhaps so.” Ryan flashed a feral grin. “And, even worse, we’re quite cruel as well. But I’m sure something as smart as you probably already knew that. Or should I show you?”

The demon coughed out another cackle, tossing up the orb and catching it again. “Please do.  _He_  told me I could do what I wanted with you, and what I want is to tear you into pieces.”

“That’s a pleasant idea,” Ryan hummed. “I hope you don’t mind if I steal it for myself.”

Ryan rushed forward in a burst of golden light, and before the demon could even flinch, he swung the sword down, carving one of its arms off in one perfect swoop. While the demon screeched in pain, he plucked the orb from its grasp, laughing.

“This isn’t yours,” he said, wagging his finger like a father reprimanding a child. Then, he caught Jeremy’s eye and winked, tossing the orb down. Jeremy darted forward to catch it. It was a warm, heavy weight in his palms.

“Hell yeah, Ryan!” he cheered, jumping up and down. Ryan gave a cheeky salute with his sword.

The demon gurgled, righting itself, its eyes flaming with fury. “No more time for games. I’m going to eat you alive, angel.” It took a deep breath, and its form seemed to inflate, its sludgy skin bubbling and seething. The metal rafter creaked dangerously under its weight. Several spikes solidified out of its sludge, and it snapped them off, holding one in each of its remaining arms. It surged towards Ryan, thrusting the spikes forward, and Ryan quickly parried in a clash of metal.

Jeremy tore his gaze away from the spectacle above him, and focused his attention on the globe in his grasp. Instead of snow, it was filled with some sort of strange, tar-like material, and it stuck to insides of the glass as he turned it around. The more he shifted it, the more he felt as if he could see something beyond the tar – the flicker of some sort of faint blue light inside it. But as quick as he noticed it, it disappeared again.

“Alright, Gav. Let’s get you out of there,” he said, and smashed it to the ground. The ball collided with the floor with a loud thunk, and rolled away, unscathed. Jeremy gaped at it, before scooping it back up again. The thing didn’t even have a scratch. It was harder to break these things than he thought – maybe it had just been pure luck with Ryan? He reeled his arm back further this time, and shot the globe down with all the strength he could muster. But once again, the ball only clinked with the ground, rolling away unbroken.

“What the -?” he exclaimed. He gave it another try, and another, but still to no avail. Gritting his teeth, he fell to the floor and smashed it repeatedly on the ground like some sort of demented monkey. But the ball was still just as unaffected, and he sat back in defeat.

“What is up with this thing?” he mumbled, shaking it around. “Is this made out of fucking steel?”

“Ah, does he not want to come out and play? Maybe you hurt his feelings,” the demon laughed. Jeremy looked up to see it was still locked in a battle with Ryan, who was breathing hard as he struggled with the demon’s whirring arms.

“Hurt his feelings?” Jeremy echoed. He shook his head dismissively. “Gav, do you just not wanna come out? Is that what’s going on here?” He squinted closer at the globe, and for a minute, it seemed to pulse in his hands.

Ryan let out a cry of pain, and Jeremy’s head snapped up. The demon had lodged one of his spikes into Ryan’s shoulder, and he yanked it out with a spattering of golden blood. Jeremy’s stomach dropped to his knees.

“Are you sure you want to be doing this, sickly little angel?” the demon teased, spinning its spikes around. “You’re so weak you can barely stand.”

“I won’t need much to squash you like the bug you are,” Ryan ground out, whipping up his sword.

They started up their volley again, and Jeremy fearfully turned his attention back to the orb.

“Gavin, what are you doing?” he whispered urgently. “We need your help. C’mon, you can’t just stay in there - Ryan’s in trouble.  _Please_ , Gav.”

The sphere gave another weak pulse. He smashed it on the ground one last time, then bristled, sitting up.

“Fine then,” he spat. “Be a coward. We’ll just do this on our own – without you.”

He irritably tucked the globe away into his jacket pocket, and pulled out his gun again, aiming it upwards. Ryan and the demon were locked in a furious battle, nearly a blur of motion with how fast they were moving. There was no way he would be able to get a lock on the demon, especially from this distance. He needed to get closer. He whirled around, quickly locating a rickety metal staircase, almost completely rusted through and missing steps.

“Up we go,” he mumbled nervously. In his pocket, the orb seemed to grow hotter and heavier, almost singeing his skin.

He started his way up the staircase, pushing himself as fast as he dared. The metal groaned precariously under his weight, and the wind whistled around him, gusting snow into his face. With each step he took, the ball grew heavier and heavier, until he was almost straining to move. Breathing heavily, he finally dragged himself to the top. He made the mistake of looking down, and instantly his vision tunneled, his stomach swarming with nausea. It was a long fucking way to the bottom – no way he’d get out unscathed if he fell.

As he took a shaky step forward onto the rafters, the globe in his pocket grew even heavier still, and he collapsed with the imbalance of weight.

“What the actual fuck?” he said, hefting the bulge in his jacket. Had it suddenly been replaced with a bowling ball? How the hell had it gotten so damn heavy? Gritting his teeth, he dragged himself to his feet, supporting the globe with one of his arms. He could see Ryan in the distance now – only a little bit closer.

He hauled himself forward, trying to ignore the fact that his jacket felt as if it were a hundred pounds. He crept ahead as far as he was able on the rafters, making sure the demon was in clear sights. From this distance, he would definitely be able to get a shot off – hopefully one that wouldn’t miss.

“Such a pathetic little angel,” the demon was saying. “Why don’t you just give up already? If you keep pushing yourself like this, you might not be able to come back from it.”

“Shut…up,” Ryan heaved out.

Jeremy’s eyes widened. Now that he was closer, he could see that Ryan was not looking good. His brow was beaded with sweat, and his movements were sluggish and clumsy. Every once in a while, his sword would flicker out of existence before snapping back again.

He pointed his gun up, steadying himself as much as he was able on the rickety walkway. He knew he had to wait for Ryan to give him a perfect shot, but they were both still moving too quickly for him to even see what was going on, let alone get a good hit. He cursed, creeping even closer. The metal groaned and creaked under his boots.

As Ryan thrust forward, his sword blinked out of existence again, and this time, it didn’t return. His eyes widened fearfully, and he waved his hand out. Nothing happened. The demon let out a resounding cackle.

“Let’s finish this,” the demon said. “I have a lot of fun plans for tonight, and none of them involve you.”

It slammed Ryan down on the rafters, its sludge wrapping around him and pinning him to the rusted metal. Slowly, it raised its spike over his head.

“No!” Jeremy cried. He whipped his gun up and fired several shots in quick succession. Two of the bullets went winging off to the left of the demon, but the third struck true, lodging into its arm and sending it wheeling backward. It let out a deafening screech, before snapping back into place, its head twisting around unnaturally to stare straight at him.

“Oh fuck,” Jeremy whispered. Before he could even blink, the demon launched itself at him, whacking his gun away into the darkness below. It wrapped him up in its sweltering grasp, and suddenly he was dangling in the air, his legs windmilling over nothingness. His stomach clenched in terror as he looked down at the chilling drop below, and he abruptly stopped his struggling.

“Come back to play, have you?” The demon gave him a rough shake in its grasp, and the globe in his pocket went tumbling out.

“No!” he cried. He tried to reach out, but his arms were stuck to his sides. The globe spiraled down into the darkness below.

“The two of you care about each other so much,” the demon cooed, dragging Ryan over in its other arms. “It’s so inspiring.”

“Let him go!” Ryan snarled, twisting and struggling wildly in the demon’s grasp, his expression frantic.

“If you say so,” the demon said innocently, and released its grip.

A scream ripped from Jeremy’s throat as he hurtled towards the ground, limbs flailing. The concrete floor raced up to meet him, and he knew with absolute certainty that he was going to smash open like a watermelon. He braced himself, closing his eyes.

But the impact never came.

Jeremy slowly cracked his eyes open, and immediately met two bright green pupils, watching him intently. It was Gavin, lying underneath him, face screwed up in pain, and arms wrapped around him supportively.

“Gavin!” he exclaimed, relief bubbling up within him. “Did you just catch me? What the fuck?”

Gavin winced, shifting uncomfortably underneath him. “I tried to. That didn’t work out like I thought it would.”

Jeremy let out a breathless, shaky laugh, pulling himself up. Even though he had only been with Gavin a short while ago, it felt like years since he had seen him last. Still, something about him seemed a little different, though he couldn’t entirely place what it was.

“Where did you even come from? Did you break out?” he asked, adrenaline still surging through his veins.

“Jeremy,” Gavin said shortly, looking up. “Ryan’s off.”

“What?” Jeremy furrowed his brow in confusion. “What do you m-”

Suddenly, everything went white.

A burst of light sent him careening backward, hitting a nearby pole with a shout. He was completely blinded – all he could see was white, striking and over encompassing, scorching hot against his skin and eyes.

“Gavin?” he cried out, his voice quickly swallowed up by the light. He reached an arm around blindly.

A blessedly cold hand slipped over his eyes, and an arm tugged on his shoulder, turning him around.

“Don’t look,” came Gavin’s voice, low and soothing.

“What’s going on?” he said. He fumbled around until his hands found Gavin’s thin shoulders, and the terrified knot in his stomach loosened a bit.

_Enough of this._

It was Ryan’s voice, but it seemed to echo from everywhere and nowhere at once, rattling his teeth and piercing through his skull. His knees buckled, and only Gavin’s strong grip kept him on his feet.

“Please, please,” the demon whimpered, its voice strained with terror. “Sweet little angel, I never meant him any harm. It was in good fun, yes?”

Jeremy irritably ripped Gavin’s hand off his eyes, and immediately screwed up his face. The light was still oppressive, bathing the room around them in white like an overexposed photograph. But as his vision adjusted, he could just make out a wavery shape above them, multiple wings burst out of its back and holding up the struggling demon. The shape was shifting as if were made up entirely of flames, one second human, and then not-human the next, constantly changing and dancing. Hundreds of ants crawled beneath Jeremy’s skin, and the taste of copper coated his throat. The sense of wrongness, of unnaturalness, was almost overwhelming, like a too-sterile hospital room. He couldn’t quite tear his gaze away, even as it felt like his eyes were going to burn out of his skull.

_Death is too kind for trash like you,_  Ryan said, still speaking in that terrifying voice.  _I will eradicate you from existence._  His six eyes, glinting and cruel, bore down on the demon.

“Angel, please, this isn’t my fault,” the demon wheezed out hysterically. “I was only doing what  _he_  wanted. I’ll change my ways, I promise. Aren’t angels all about redemption?”

Ryan laughed: a strange, wicked sound.  _Not ones like me._  He gripped the demon by the throat and slammed it into the ground with a sickening crunching noise.

“ _Exousia,”_ Gavin said softly, lips quirking up into a strange grin. “How very nostalgic.”

Ryan continued to slam the demon down, again and again as it screamed, and a chill ran down Jeremy’s back.

“What is this?” he said, taking an unsure step backward. “Why didn’t he do this before? Something…something isn’t right.”

Gavin turned to him, face shadowed. “No, nothing’s right at all, Jeremy. This type of form – he won’t be able to support it as he is now. I suppose he planned to use it if he felt there was no other choice.” He let out a clipped, humorless laugh. “No wonder he was so adamant I help him, and that you stay away. How cruel.”

“What are you talking about?” Jeremy said, shaking his head slowly. “I don’t understand.”

“A fading angel’s last stand,” Gavin mused softly. “If he keeps that up, he’ll burn himself out.”

Jeremy’s eyes rounded out in disbelief. “You mean…?”

“He’ll disappear.”

Jeremy’s arms fell to his sides. He shook his head again.

“Why would he do this?” Jeremy said. “Is he a fucking idiot? What the hell is he thinking?”

“He’s not thinking at all,” Gavin shrugged. “He’s mad, and frustrated, and willing to tear himself apart to get a one-up on the thing pissing him off. Wrath – quite a dangerous thing for an angel to give in to.”

Jeremy ground his teeth together, his hands tightening into fists. “Fuck that. Fuck him. I’ll show him wrath.” He stormed forward, ignoring Gavin’s protests. “Ryan! Hey, dumbass! What the hell are you doing?” he yelled out. Ryan didn’t so much as flinch, continuing to grind the demon’s face into the floor. Jeremy took another step forward, and fell back with a cry – the light was scorching hot, nearly singeing his arm hair off. It would be impossible to get anywhere close. He stomped his foot in frustration.

“He can’t be reasoned with,” Gavin said calmly, tugging him back. “He’s beyond any of that now.”

Jeremy ripped himself free from his grasp, and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Ryan, listen to me!” he shouted. “You fucking stupid idiot shithead! Do I have to get a squirt bottle? Stop this right now, what is wrong with you?”

Ryan still didn’t respond, the light increasing in intensity around him.

“There’s no point to this, Jeremy.”

Jeremy ignored him, bending down to scoop up a bit of scrap. With a roar, he lobbed it forward at Ryan. It immediately caught fire, quickly incinerating into ash. Jeremy gaped, stumbling backward.

“There’s gotta be something we can do,” he said, turning to Gavin desperately. “He can’t…I won’t fucking accept this. There  _has_  to be something.”

Gavin was watching him carefully, his expression strange in the harsh lighting. “And what if I told you there wasn’t? What would you do then?”

Jeremy gawked at him in disbelief. “Then I’d find some other way until something worked. What kind of dumb question is that?” He strode forward again, as far as he was able against the unbearable heat. “Ryan! I know you can hear me!” he yelled.

But then Gavin was pulling him back again, his eyebrows pulled together painfully. “So stubborn – the two of you. Bloody meant for each other, aren’t you,” he mumbled quietly.

“Gavin…?” Jeremy said slowly, tilting his head in confusion.

“I can help him,” Gavin said, lifting his eyes to meet his gaze. “He just needs to be snapped out of it, that’s all.”

“Seriously?” Jeremy exclaimed, surging forward to grasp at his hands. “Thank god! What do I have to do, then? I’ll do anything.”

Gavin stared down at their joined hands, mouth puckering. His hand twitched in his grasp, then settled, as if he couldn’t quite decide if he wanted to pull away or not. Then, his face hardened in determination, and he quickly detangled from Jeremy’s grasp, wrapping his arms around himself.

“You just have to get me close enough to touch him,” Gavin said. “Can you do that?”

“Close enough to touch, huh,” Jeremy said. He gnawed at his lip in thought, staring at the oppressive light surrounding Ryan like a shield. Then, an idea cropped up in his mind, and he lit up in excitement. “Wait a sec – my protection runes! Would that help?” He yanked them out of his pocket, brandishing them eagerly.

“Maybe,” Gavin said. “It’s worth a shot, at least. Just make sure I’m inside it.”

“Obviously,” Jeremy scoffed. He yanked Gavin in close and smoothed out the rune. He had to reopen the wound on his palm – it had crusted over somewhere along the fight. Then, he smeared the rune with his blood. A shimmering barrier shuttered in around them, and Jeremy nodded in determination.

“Alright, let’s do this,” he said. Gavin gave a flippant shrug.

They stepped forward, in tandem, into the light. It bent and twisted around the barrier, but didn’t penetrate it. Jeremy whipped around to grin at Gavin.

“It’s working!” he said. Gavin gave another shrug.

As they worked their way closer, Ryan lifted his hand, and a glowing spear materialized in his grasp _._

_I’m going to obliterate every particle of your being,_  he said slowly.  _Not even the memory of your miserable existence shall remain._  The demon blubbered out a string of incoherent words. Jeremy bit his lip as they pushed forward, cold fear gripping at his insides. Gavin’s eyes snapped to his, bright and knowing.

“It’s something else, isn’t it?” he said. They watched as Ryan brought the spear down, the demon letting out a horrific screech as black sludge splattered everywhere.

“I, uh…I think I might be a bit in over my head, maybe,” Jeremy said weakly, swallowing down the knot in his throat.

“Now you say that,” Gavin smirked. His head tilted as he regarded him. “And yet, it still doesn’t change the way you feel at all, does it? You still love him.”

“Of course I still love him,” Jeremy snapped irritably. “Why do you keep asking dumb questions like that?”

Suddenly, the world around them dimmed slightly, as if someone had thrown a cloth over a lamp. Ryan had gone completely still, his spear frozen in midair over the demon’s torso.

Jeremy’s eyes went wide as heat flooded his cheeks. “Did…did he just hear me?” he said, caught between horror and amazement.

“Seems so,” Gavin shrugged, sounding impossibly bored. “How romantic. Perhaps you should say it again, but with more conviction this time.”

“Hey, dipshit!” Jeremy yelled out instead. “I know you can hear me now. What the hell are you doing? You have a martyr complex or what?”

Gavin let out a small sigh. Ryan turned away, the light ratcheting up in intensity again, even more forceful than before. For a terrifying second, the barrier flickered, before returning to how it was before.

“You’re always like this,” Jeremy continued, tightening his fists in frustration. “Always doing this type of thing on your own. Whatever happened to ‘together’? Was that just a lie?”

The light increased even more somehow, and suddenly he couldn’t move at all, the barrier straining against it.

“He won’t let you anywhere near.” Gavin huffed out an impatient noise. “Suppose we’ll have to force his hand, then – we’re close enough. Jeremy, on the count of three, I need you to drop the barrier.”

“What?” Jeremy exclaimed. “Are you joking? We’ll turn to fucking ash.”

“Nah,” Gavin said, in the least convincing way possible. “He won’t hurt you - we’ll be fine. Are you ready? In three, two-”

“Slow the fuck down, Gav-”

“One.”

Cursing every dumb decision that led him to this moment, Jeremy tore up the rune in his grasp. Immediately, the barrier shuttered down around them, and the light flooded in, impossibly hot and bright, like they were in the core of a star. But before it could even touch his skin, it receded backwards, slithering away to form around Ryan.

Ryan was watching them silently, snow drifting in from the roof to swirl around him. He was still in his terrifying angel form, as if his entire body was made up of light – it hurt to look directly at him.

“Ryan,” Jeremy started, stepping forward. Ryan stiffened, taking a step back.

Gavin shook his head minutely, holding out a hand. “I’ll handle this,” he said.

He strode forward towards Ryan, steps confident and graceful. Ryan just watched, making no moves to stop him or run.

“It feels better like this, doesn’t it? Safer even,” Gavin said softly. His voice was so quiet that Jeremy had to strain to hear it, leaning forward as far as he dared. Gavin said something else, but he didn’t catch it this time, and he grimaced as he took a couple careful steps forward. Whatever he said had caused Ryan’s form to flicker, his features snapping back on his face, though his eyes still glowed an ethereal white. Gavin stepped closer, cupping his face between his hands.

“-needs you as much as you need him,” he was saying. He tilted his head, giving a strange sort of smile. “You shouldn’t be this selfish, when he loves you this much.” Then, he leaned forward, and pulled Ryan into a kiss.

Jeremy’s jaw dropped. Like water thrown over a fire, the light around them completely extinguished, leaving the room just as dark and cold as it had been before. Spots danced in Jeremy’s vision, and he desperately rubbed at his eyes, wondering if he had just slipped into a hallucination. But by the time his vision had adjusted, Gavin had stepped back towards him, arms crossed and looking coolly off to the side, as if nothing had happened.

“Did you just…did you two just…?” Jeremy stuttered.

Gavin rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t like that, Jeremy – it was a transfer.”

Jeremy just gaped at him, head spinning wildly.

“Gavin,” Ryan said. He was looking over at the two of them, his eyebrows pulled together. Jeremy’s stomach swooped in relief - he was completely back to his normal self. Even the injury on his shoulder seemed to have healed up completely, somehow.

“That thing is still alive,” Gavin said shortly, pointing down. They followed his line of sight to see the demon, currently nothing more than a desiccated, broken corpse, dragging itself away on the ground. It flinched as it noticed them watching it, and it redoubled its efforts, scrabbling quickly across the floor, leaving a sludgy trail behind.

“Fucking hell,” Jeremy groaned. “What is it, a fucking cockroach?”

Gavin strode forward, slamming his foot on the demon’s torso and pinning it to the ground. “Quite,” he said, head tilted up in distaste.

“Jeremy, do you think you can go finish it off?” Ryan said. He had a hand held wearily to his head, and looked more than a bit exhausted, face pale and drawn. “I…won’t be able to, and if Gavin did, it would only reform itself.”

“Oh! Yeah, sure, I can do that,” Jeremy said. His gun was conspicuously missing, however – he must have dropped it somewhere after the demon dangled him off the rafters. He sighed, giving Ryan one last relieved look before he jogged off. But thankfully, he quickly located it, glinting brightly on the ground amongst some scrap. That was lucky – he wasn’t sure how pissed Trevor would have been if he told him he lost it.

“There are no hard feelings, yes?” the demon was pleading to Gavin as he ran back over. “I just wanted to please him, and he only wanted me to-”

Gavin’s head snapped up as Jeremy approached, and he slammed his foot down, cutting the demon off as it choked. Its eyes went wide as it took in the gun in Jeremy’s grasp.

“I, uh, I’m here to kill you, I guess,” Jeremy said. He shuffled the gun awkwardly between his hands.

“Little summoner, you know you don’t want to do that,” the demon said, eyes rolling about frantically. “I see your soul – such a warm, beautiful soul. You wouldn’t hurt anyone like that, not even something as lowly as me. So beautiful, so warm.” It scrabbled forward, grasping weakly at the bottom of his pants, and Jeremy swallowed dryly.

“Yeah, no, I think I would,” Jeremy said, cocking his gun.

“You don’t understand what it’s like, being as cold as we are,” the demon continued, its voice low and hypnotizing. “So cold, always, always. It’s all we can think about. It’s so selfish of you, keeping such a beautiful soul all to yourself. Just a small taste and I would be warm for centuries. Don’t you want to help me?”

Jeremy froze, his hands stilling. The red from the demon’s eyes seemed to bleed away, and then there were warm green eyes gazing pleadingly up at him, flecked with gold and rimmed with tears. His breath caught in his throat, and his hand slowly drifted to his side.

“Jeremy.” Gavin slapped a hand on his back, jolting him. “It’s just trying to get into your head. Don’t listen to it.”

The demon snarled, whipping around to glare at Gavin. “Do you think you are any better than me, because you wear a human mask, because  _he_ chose you out of all of us, despite how pathetic you are? In the end, you are no different at all. Peel back that pretty skin, and you look just like me on the inside. We are exactly the same, and eventually, you will meet the same fate as I.”

Gavin leeched of color. He tried to take a step back, but the demon grasped onto his shoes, locking him in place. It heaved out a gurgling cackle, sludge leaking from its too-white teeth.

_“the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the-”_

Jeremy pulled the trigger. The demon fell silent, crumpling to the floor, its mouth stretched into a permanent macabre laugh. Slowly, the demon’s skin began to crack open, lighting up with orange embers. Then, it burned away, leaving not even a smudge behind.

“I killed it,” Jeremy breathed. A wide grin grew on his face. “I fucking killed that thing, finally. It’s dead, and I…I…” He trailed off, his hands trembling violently. He tried to drop the gun, but his fingers wouldn’t respond, locked into a claw-like grip.

Instantly, Ryan was at his side, putting his hands over his.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” he said gently. Jeremy blinked up at him. His eyes were reassuring, and his grip was warm. His fingers tingled back to life, and the gun slid out of his hands, hitting the floor with a metallic clang. He gave a small nod, untensing his stiff shoulders.

He looked over at Gavin, who was staring out into space, face entirely blank.

“Gavin…are  _you_  okay?” he ventured carefully.

Gavin’s eyes rolled over to look at him in a measured, unnatural way. “You’re asking me? No, I’m fine. Never been better, really.” But there was an odd edge to his words, and Jeremy felt a trickle of cold unease run down his back.

“What happened earlier?” Jeremy asked, taking a step towards him. “I mean, with the whole snow globe nonsense. That thing…it didn’t hurt you in any way, did it?”

“It couldn’t have hurt me even if it wanted to,” Gavin said simply. Jeremy pursed his lips. That wasn’t really an answer, but there was a sense of finality to Gavin’s statement. He supposed he would have plenty of time later to push the issue, anyway.

“What about what the demon even wanted?” Jeremy said. “I mean, it was after you, Gavin, right? But why?”

“Who can tell, really,” Gavin said, fastidiously brushing dirt off his coat. “Perhaps you should’ve asked it before you killed it.”

Jeremy grimaced. “Oops.” He kicked at the spot the demon used to be. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter much anymore. This…is all over, right?” Doubt leaked through his words.

“Yes, it’s over,” Ryan nodded.

Jeremy’s teeth worried at his lip. “Something doesn’t feel right. The way that demon was talking, it was almost as if there was someone else, or something like that.”

“It was just talking nonsense,” Gavin said, words clipped. “Demons love to lie, you know.”

“There’s no need for paranoia,” Ryan added, rubbing his shoulder reassuringly. “It’s all over now – we’ve won.”

Jeremy heaved out a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.” But the sense of unease, of wrongness, didn’t quite go away, sticking uncomfortably to the bottom of his stomach.

“Gavin, I want to thank you,” Ryan said, stepping forward to carefully put a hand on his arm. Gavin tensed, but didn’t move away. “You saved me tonight, and Jeremy as well. If it weren’t for you, things would’ve ended very poorly. So, thank you.” His smile was so warm and genuine that even though it wasn’t directed at him, Jeremy’s heart still stuttered. Gavin’s eyes went wide, his lips parted slightly. Then, he turned away, shrinking in on himself, eyebrows drawing together.

“Are you an idiot, or what?” Gavin said quietly.

Ryan let out a soft chuckle, eyes sparkling fondly. “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

Jeremy flicked his gaze between the two of them.

“Speaking of Ryan being an idiot,” he said, eyes narrowing. “What the actual fuck was your reasoning behind what just happened?”

The dopey smile drained from Ryan’s face as he stiffened. “Uh…what?”

Jeremy stalked towards him threateningly. “Oh, you know, when you randomly decided to divinely hulk out and risk your own life for no goddamn reason?”

“There was a reason,” Ryan protested. “I had no other choice.”

“No other choice?” Jeremy exclaimed. “Whatever happened to trusting in me and working together? Or did you just say all that shit to get me to shut up?”

“It wasn’t that, Jeremy. I meant every word,” Ryan said. “I just…I didn’t see Gavin save you. I couldn’t…I lost control.” He ducked his head, mouth a thin line.

“Even if I got hurt or died or whatever, that’s still no damn excuse,” Jeremy said. He clenched his hand into a fist, his knuckles cracking. “Why the hell would that even be an option?”

Ryan said nothing, jaw clenched tight. Gavin let out a wispy laugh, leaning up against a pillar with his arms crossed to watch them.

“So you’re telling me that this was just spur of the moment, right?” Jeremy said through gritted teeth. “And that this wasn’t pre-meditated at all? ‘Cause that’d be pretty fucking dumb if it were true.”

“That’s correct,” Ryan said simply.

Jeremy stared intently at Ryan, his expression a cool and collected mask, then over at Gavin, eyes glimmering with barely contained amusement.

“Look, Ryan. When I say together, I mean together, alright?” Jeremy said. “I know I’m just a dumb, weak human, but there’s no need to lie to me.”

It was a low blow, but it worked, Ryan’s face twisting up in guilt. “You know it’s not about that,” Ryan said hurriedly. But he said nothing more, and after a long minute Jeremy heaved out a defeated sigh.

“I’m not gonna try and force it out of you, or whatever,” Jeremy said. “I just want you to know I’m here for you if you want to, alright? When you…saved my life for the first time, it was the first time I realized I could rely on someone, that I didn’t have to carry on alone. I want you to feel the same around me, even just a little bit.” He wrapped his arms around himself, breaking eye contact. “You…you can rely on me too, you know?”

“Rely on you,” Ryan echoed quietly. “Then…is something like this okay?”

He stepped forward carefully, and wrapped Jeremy up in an unsure embrace, his arms falling awkwardly around his back. Jeremy blinked in shock for a minute, then broke out into a crooked grin.

“This wasn’t entirely what I was expecting, but of course it is,” Jeremy chuckled. He threw his arms around Ryan as well, pulling him in tight. Ryan went stiff, then melted in his embrace, dropping his head to rest in the crook of his neck. Jeremy doubted the position was entirely comfortable – thanks to Ryan’s height he had to stoop awkwardly to reach him – but Ryan hummed out a contented sigh.

“Don’t pull something like that again, okay?” Jeremy said. “Not unless we’re both doing it, and there’s like dramatic music and explosions in the background or some shit.”

“Alright,” Ryan murmured into his jacket. “Never again.”

With Ryan securely in his grasp, Jeremy felt the built-up tension and fear slowly leech out of his bones. He hadn’t even realized how afraid he had even been, how much that had been weighing down on him. But Ryan was okay – they all were. Some way or another they had all pulled out of this mess, and he had never been more fucking relieved in his life. And he knew it was only a temporary type of victory, that things were far from over, but it was still a victory all the same. He ran a hand up and down Ryan’s back, breathing in his familiar scent.

They were okay.

He lifted his gaze to peek over Ryan’s shoulder, and a trickle of apprehension ran down his back. Gavin was watching them carefully, his eyes bright with calculation.

“You know,” he said, in a voice Jeremy was learning to dread. “You were really brave tonight, Jeremy, standing up against such a horrid demon.”

“Thanks?” Jeremy said cautiously.

“Even when it said such nasty things, you didn’t let it push you down,” Gavin continued, starting to slowly circle them. “Demons are good at that type of thing – pinpointing your deepest insecurities and wielding them against you. Playing with you in that sort of way, crushing your will down – it makes the hunt that much more  _exciting_.”

“Uh, right,” Jeremy said, a bit discomfited. Ryan’s hands tightened into fists against his back.

Gavin flashed a blinding smile. “But thankfully, you didn’t let it do that. And you even went on to dramatically confess your love at such a tense moment. I can’t even imagine how hard that must’ve been for you, especially when you kept those feelings bottled up for so many years, and even after you had been rejected so cruelly once before, knowing that he’d never feel the same.”

Jeremy’s mouth dropped open, his face flushing with humiliation. “Gavin, what the fuck,” he said weakly. He looked anxiously down at Ryan, but he still hadn’t moved, his face still buried in his shoulder.

“But I suppose that’s just how it goes,” Gavin shrugged. “Don’t feel too bad, Jeremy, you’ll get over him eventually, and move onto much greener pastures and all that. If you ever need a distraction or anything, feel free to call me up. We had a lot of fun together last time, the two of us, didn’t we?” His eyes glinted with mischief.

Jeremy’s jaw snapped shut, and his nostrils flared as he scowled at Gavin. He felt Ryan’s head slowly lifting from his shoulder, and he shoved him away, stumbling backward.

“Fuck you,” he spat. “I’m not dealing with this.”

He stormed out, refusing to look behind him to see what expression Ryan had on his face. What the hell was Gavin’s problem, saying shit like that after everything that happened? And to think he had even been worried about him. Obviously, Gavin was just fine, and well enough to be acting like an asshole for no reason again. He wasn’t going to put up with Gavin being like that after they had all almost died – he needed to clear his head.

Outside, the howling wind had finally died down. Snow still drifted aimlessly from the sky, settling on a thin layer on the ground. Jeremy zipped his jacket back up as he stomped forward, the frigid air slowly draining the rage from his bones.

“Jeremy!”

Jeremy stiffened, whirling around. Ryan was jogging after him, the wind catching in his hair. He cursed silently, quickening his pace.

“Look Ryan, you don’t have to care about anything Gavin said,” he called back. “He was just spewing bullshit to get in your head like he always does.”

“Jeremy, wait up! I need to talk to you.”

“And you can totally ignore the whole love confession thing,” Jeremy continued, hysterics catching in his voice as he all but bolted forward. “It was just a heat of the moment thing, you know? Whenever I’m in a high-stress environment I just randomly confess my love to people. Perfectly normal. Made my high school exams really weird, let me tell you.”

Ryan caught his arm and pulled him to a stop.

“Jeremy, you do realize I’m in love with you, right?”

Jeremy froze, slowly turning to look at him. Ryan’s chest was heaving, his face entirely red. His throat bobbed as he swallowed. Snow gently swirled around them, catching in Ryan’s hair and jacket. It suddenly felt as if the forest around them was holding its breath, even the wind petering down into silence.

“You, uh…huh?” Jeremy said dumbly.

Ryan winced, scrubbing a hand across his face. “I’m sorry. I realize this is not great timing.”

“Yeah, kinda. I’m still covered in demon goo.” Jeremy numbly lifted up his stained shirt for emphasis.

“I know, I know,” Ryan groaned. “I just can’t bear the idea that you would think that I would think any less of you than I do.”

Jeremy’s head spun a thousand miles a second. “ _Huh?_ ”

“Angels…they aren’t supposed to want things,” Ryan said, fiddling anxiously with the lapels of his jacket. “Love is fine – sometimes that’s all we have to give. But wanting…it only leads to corruption.” His head snapped up, and he fixed Jeremy with a heavy stare, eyebrows drawing together. “But, even so, I want to be with you, in any way that you’ll have me. Something like that…I wonder if you could want that too?” His gaze dropped, red creeping up his neck.

Jeremy gaped at him in disbelief. The fact that Ryan was a flustered mess because of something like him was such a weird thought to consider that his brain almost collapsed in on himself. He was halfway convinced the demon had actually slit his throat before and now he was trapped in a fevered delusion of his slowly dying mind. He shook his head slowly.

“Are you…serious?” he said, just to be sure.

“I’ve never been more serious,” Ryan said earnestly.

Fuck his entire life – Ryan was actually in love with him. His cheeks flamed as he matched Ryan’s blush, and his heart beat out a frantic staccato.  He really was the dumbest person alive – they both were, honestly. He could almost hear Michael’s obnoxious, triumphant laughter ringing in his ears.

“Shit, Ryan,” he breathed, hefting out an incredulous laugh. “Do you even have to ask something like that? Of course I want-” He cut himself off abruptly, eyes going wide. Slowly, he put a shaky hand to his mouth.

The contract.

“Oh, no.  _Oh, no._ ”

“What?” Ryan blinked at him in concern.

Jeremy took a hasty step back, hands held out in front of him. “Ryan…we can’t. Fuck, I’m so sorry. We can’t be together.”

The worry and confusion instantly smoothed out of Ryan’s face. “I see,” he said steadily. “I understand. After seeing what you did tonight, I can’t blame you. Feel free to forget all of this.”

He made a move to step away, but Jeremy darted forward to pull him back, alarm shooting up his chest.

“It’s not about that, Ryan,” he said, shaking his head in desperation. “Don’t you dare misunderstand this. It’s just that…I mean, I just…” His words stumbled and tangled up in each other. How the hell was he even supposed to tell him about the contract he had signed with Gavin? His cheeks flamed.

Ryan studied him carefully for a moment, then looked away, nodding to himself. “I see. It’s about Gavin, isn’t it?”

Jeremy’s eyes snapped to his, his mouth rounding out in surprise. “You knew?”

“I knew.” Ryan ducked his head, a strange smile curving on his lips. “Even I can’t ignore something as obvious as that.”

It was that obvious? Jeremy went even redder, vaguely wishing the ground would swallow him up.

“I, uh, meant to tell you earlier,” Jeremy stuttered. “I just…I mean, it was just really fucking embarrassing, and I didn’t know how you’d react to Gavin and all that, you know?”

“Oh.” Ryan’s eyebrows shot up. “You don’t have to worry about me getting in the way or anything like that. Perhaps if it were a week ago, it would’ve been different, but after seeing what he did tonight, and yesterday as well, I can’t quite fault you.”

“And I had no idea how to even go about fixing every- wait, what?” Jeremy blinked rapidly in confusion.

“I tried to deny what I was seeing at first,” Ryan said, scratching his cheek sheepishly. “But the evidence kept piling up. You’ve always been good at trickery, but I don’t think you’d be able to fake something like that. The way you look at him is enough of an answer on its own.”

“Hey, quick question: what are we talking about right now?”

Determination crystallized in Ryan’s expression. “I’ll help you,” he said. “If he’s what you truly want, I’ll do everything I can to make that happen. I know Gavin can be more than a bit stubborn at times, but I’m sure he feels the same as well. I  _know_  he does.”

“Hey, uh, quick question: what the actual  _fuck_  are we talking about right now?”

Ryan tilted his head innocently. “The fact that you’re in love with Gavin.”

It was as if he had put a gun up to Jeremy’s head.

“C-come again?” he choked out.

“I said, the fact that you’re in love with-”

“I didn’t mean ‘come again’ as in tell me again, Ryan. I said ‘come again’ as in what the actual fuck are you even saying?”

Ryan blinked at him in bewilderment. “Was that not what we were talking about?”

“No, that wasn’t what we were talking about,  _Ryan_ ,” Jeremy hissed, dragging a hand across his face. “Where’d you even get that from, what the fuck?”

“I…observed it?” Ryan said. “Have you not realized this yourself?”

“There’s no realizing  _anything_ because it’s not a thing,” Jeremy shot back. “I don’t…it’s not like that, okay?”

“Then, if it’s not that, what is it?” Ryan said, an eyebrow raised.

“It’s nothing,” Jeremy insisted. “Me and Gav are just…I mean, I just want him to…” He trailed off, his words lodging uncomfortably in his throat.

What did he even want from Gavin? If it was just friendship, why the hell did he think about making out with him all the time? And if it was just attraction, then why did it feel like his heart was getting wrenched in two every time Gavin acted a little off? He put a hand slowly to his head, dread starting to burn in his gut.

“It’s just…complicated, that’s all,” he finished lamely. “Look, we almost just got murdered and all that. Do we really have to talk about this now? This is too much – let’s just go get some ice-cream or something.”

“You shouldn’t try to run away from this sort of thing,” Ryan said calmly. “If you hold this off, you’ll only end up regretting it. Trust me, I know this better than anyone.” He quirked a sad smile.

“I’m not running away from it, I’m only blocking it out of my mind and never thinking about it ever again. Anyway, ice-cream?”

Ryan huffed out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes. “Jeremy.”

Jeremy’s heart was threatening to hammer its way out of his chest. All he could think about was Gavin’s laughing eyes, and his cold hand in his grasp as tugged him forward.

“I mean, what if it is true, Ryan?” he said, tongue darting out to nervously wet his chapped lips. “What am I supposed to do then?”

“Nothing, of course.”

Jeremy nearly passed out. Standing behind them - because of course he fucking was - was Gavin, leaning impassively against a tree, the snow tugging at his hair and coat. He had been so distracted by Ryan’s nonsense that he had completely forgotten that they had left him behind.

“Gavin,” Ryan said, not sounding surprised in the slightest. Jeremy, on the other hand, was about five seconds away from imploding in humiliation.

“What the hell!” Jeremy sputtered. “Why can’t you guys just ever join a conversation like a normal fucking person? You’re gonna give me a damn heart attack one of these days.”

“I was just doing some reconnaissance, that’s all,” Gavin said, bright eyes regarding him carefully. He peeled himself off the tree, unfolding his arms to stalk over towards Ryan. “What are you doing, putting ideas in his head like this? I never thought you’d be the type to work against your own self-interests, and yet, here we are.”

Ryan cocked his head, unimpressed. “His happiness is my self-interest.”

Gavin let out a twinkling laugh. “Aw, how cute. Do you really think he’d be happy with a demon? What kind of angel are you?” His eyes narrowed dangerously. “You know that it would make him the most happy to be with you. So why are you acting so cowardly?”

“You know what would really make me happy? Ice-cream. Nothing better than an icy treat when its ten degrees out and you’re covered in demon guts, am I right, fellas?” Jeremy wheezed out a semi-hysterical laugh.

“It’s not that simple anymore,” Ryan said, shaking his head at Gavin.

Gavin’s eyes flashed. “But it is that simple. You and Jeremy get together and are happy forever, and I get Jeremy’s soul. It’s that damn simple. But you two can’t even do something as easy as that.”

Jeremy stilled, all his fanatic energy draining out all at once, leaving him cold. Next to him, Ryan had gone stiff, his eyes wide in alarm. Realization lit up on his face.

“I see. It was a love contract,” he breathed. His eyes shone with pity as he looked at Gavin. “How very cruel.”

Gavin bristled, his cheeks flushing red. “You’re right. Watching you two idiots constantly bumble around each other like chickens with their heads cut off – it was nothing short of insufferable.”

Jeremy winced. “Well, okay. Probably true, but still rude.”

Ryan tilted his head as he studied Gavin, eyes glinting with analyzation. Then, a sure smile curved on his lips, and he took a step forward. Gavin reflexively took a step back.

“Let me hazard a guess, then,” Ryan said. “You’re already well aware Jeremy has feelings for you. So you’re afraid, and desperate, and willing to do anything to get the two of us together before he figures that out. But even if he and I did get together, it would change nothing, would it? The contract wouldn’t fulfill, because the contents of his heart has changed.”

Jeremy, who had been staring open-mouthed as he listened to Ryan spew out literal nonsense, jolted. “Wait…that can happen?” he said, head snapping up. “A contract can change?”

“It can’t,” Gavin said firmly. The flickering light in his eyes was nothing short of dangerous. “Are you pretending to know more about contracts than an actual demon?”

Ryan took another step forward, Gavin another step back.

“And even worse than that,” Ryan continued, smile curving further. “You started to harbor feelings for him as well. So now you’ve become even more conflicted than ever. Wanting not just his soul, but him in entirety. You’re completely lost – at war with yourself, with nothing left to stand on.”

Jeremy continued to gape at him, entirely dumbfounded and more than a bit embarrassed. “Ryan, what the fuck,” he hissed. “You can’t just assume shit like that, what are you even doing?”

Gavin’s entire body was tensed up, like a mousetrap ready to be sprung. “He’s right,” he said through gritted teeth. “You shouldn’t assume things like that.”

“No, I’m right,” Ryan said, voice steeled with conviction. “If it weren’t true, you wouldn’t be standing here. Trevor would’ve taken you out, and I would have never asked you to work together.”

Another step forward, another step back.

“Look at you acting so smart, as if you know everything,” Gavin sneered. “Too bad you’ve never gotten anything more wrong. Even Jeremy knows where we stand, don’t you?”

Jeremy jumped as their attention turned to him. “I, uh…what are we talking about?”

“You shouldn’t let Ryan speak for you like this,” Gavin said. “You know that you don’t care about me in that way, and you know it isn’t possible that I feel that either.”

Jeremy’s jaw worked. “Aren’t you doing the same thing?” he snapped. “Look, I don’t know anything about love, or whatever, and I’m pretty sure Ryan’s just pulling this all out of ass, but I do know that I care about you a lot, okay? You…you’re an important friend to me, and I’ve had a lot of fun with you around. And I think…” He trailed off, biting his lip. He swallowed hard, nodding to himself. “And I know you’ve gotta feel the same. So, stop acting like this, Gav.”

“Acting like what? A demon?” Gavin said, huffing out a laugh. “I’m not sure if you noticed, but that’s exactly what I am. I had thought you to be low on confidence, but perhaps you’re quite arrogant.”

“Fuck off,” Jeremy ground out. “Are you seriously gonna sit there and tell me after all we’ve been through, it meant shit to you, ‘cause you’re some heartless demon or whatever? That’s bullshit.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Gavin tilted his head up, regarding him with his lifeless, dark eyes. “I’m sorry, have I somehow led you on to believe I cared about you in the slightest? I thought I was being quite clear about it. I suppose I just underestimated how thick you can be.”

Red hot fury flared up in Jeremy’s gut, and he took a threatening step forward, his hand curling into a fist. Ryan whipped an arm out, stopping him in his tracks.

“Jeremy, don’t,” he said, holding him back. “This is exactly what he wants. He’s just trying to provoke you, in the most childish way possible.”

“I know he is,” Jeremy grumbled. He let out a heaving sigh, deflating the thick anger out of his throat. “Gav, if you think I’m just gonna abandon you because you’re acting like an asshole, you’re wrong. I’m not gonna do that – you’re too important to me.”

“How much of an idiot can you be?” Gavin spat. “Like I told you before, I’ve been fooling you this whole time. The me that you think you care for never even existed in the first place.”

“That’s not true,” Jeremy said, shaking his head in determination.

“Gavin, I understand how you feel,” Ryan said, hands held out in placating way. “It’s overwhelming, terrifying, even. But it’ll be okay – we’ll figure this all out together. You don’t have to lash out like this.”

Step forward, step back.

“You  _don’t_  understand,” Gavin insisted. His back hit a tree. His bright eyes flicked wildly back and forth between Ryan and Jeremy, both approaching him slowly on either side. His chest was fluttering rapidly, and he looked like a cornered animal, like a fox ready to tear its own leg off to escape a trap.

“But I do understand,” Ryan said. “That’s the thing about us, isn’t it? Even if we hate it, we always understand each other.”

“ _You_  understand  _me_?” Gavin exclaimed. “You’re joking, right? I’m not the same stupid, lovesick angel that I used to be. You made very sure of that, didn’t you?”

Ryan recoiled back as if he had been struck, face going pale.

“Lovesick?” Jeremy echoed. He looked over at Ryan, his gaze averted and eyebrows drawn together, then over at Gavin, whose face was flushed as he seethed. The heavy silence that fell between them was enough of an answer on its own, and his stomach lurched as the final puzzle piece finally snapped into place.

_I’ve been in love before, Jeremy._

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he said, voice cracked with disbelief and dawning horror. “There’s no way. The two of you…this is so fucked – this is completely fucked. What the hell is even going on?”

“Oh, don’t feel too betrayed by Ryan not telling you anything,” Gavin said, crossing his arms as he collected himself. “To him, it was nothing but a nuisance – it was all very much one-sided.”

And suddenly, everything made sense: the strange tension between them, Gavin’s blushes, and Ryan’s cryptic statements. Jeremy slowly put his hands over his mouth. But if that were true, that Gavin had been in love with Ryan before, then that also meant that this whole time, he had been trying to set him up with the guy he used to have feelings for. No wonder he had been acting so strange, so hurt. And what if Gavin still was in love with him? Jeremy recalled their conversation from last night and when they were in the park, and his stomach clenched painfully, crawling with nausea.

“Gav, I’m so sorry,” he said, voice thick with remorse. “This whole time, I… _fuck_ , I’m so fucking sorry.”

For the slightest moment, the malice faded from Gavin’s expression, replaced with something like alarm. But then it was shuttered away again, so quickly he was sure he had imagined it.  

“You…you shouldn’t be sorry,” Gavin said, clearing his throat a bit. “Honestly, I think I should be thanking Ryan, really. Because of all this, I went on to become such an incredible demon, and he found the love of his life. It all turned up daisies, didn’t it?”

“Gavin, I…need to speak to you about that,” Ryan said, words stumbling over each other. “It’s not…my perspective on things was different, and after all this time, I –”

“Shut up,” Gavin snapped, and Ryan shut up. “Don’t you dare try to spew excuses, or act like it was any different than it was. I don’t want to hear it – I  _don’t_.”

Ryan turned to glance at Jeremy helplessly, and the look in his eyes was pretty clear:  _I’m making this worse._ He took a few stuttering steps backward. Gavin straightened in response, a triumphant grin growing on his face.

“Gav, you need to chill,” Jeremy said. “I don’t know what exactly went down between you two, but he’s obviously trying to make it up to you now. Why can’t you give him another chance?”

Gavin let out a loud, boisterous laugh. “Give  _him_  another chance? Jeremy, you poor, poor thing. Even after everything you’ve seen tonight, you still never to think to question what he is. You just took everything he said as the complete truth. Aren’t you just the littlest bit curious about why your soul is so  _special_? I want the two of you to be happy together forever, of course, but you should really know that Ryan-”

“Gavin, enough,” Jeremy said, cutting him off. “I’m sick of you painting Ryan to be this hateful supervillain or whatever. I don’t care what he is, or what he used to be. He’s Ryan – and that’s all that matters to me. I’m not gonna sit here and listen to you put him down like this.”

A flicker of hurt crossed Gavin’s face. “My bad,” he said. “Didn’t mean to sully the name of your perfect love.”

“I’m not saying he’s perfect, just that you’re not being fair.” Jeremy hefted out a weary sigh, scrubbing at his eyes. “I don’t even know why we’re fighting anymore. I’m fucking exhausted - let’s drop this, and go home.”

Something in the atmosphere shifted abruptly, the temperature plummeting. Gavin’s face wiped of emotion, and a trickle of nerves ran down Jeremy’s back.

“Home?” Gavin’s voice was odd, almost detached. “Something like that…I never had.”

The wind picked up again, howling mournfully against the trees, and Jeremy had to shift his weight so he wouldn’t get buffeted away. The snow started to thicken into sheets, blurring their surroundings into a heavy white. It clung to him, soaking through his clothing and stinging his exposed skin. Gavin’s hair and coat whipped wildly around him, and his eyes flickered through the haze of white.

“W-what do you mean?” Jeremy said through chattering teeth. “With me, you can always have a home.”

Gavin arched a condescending brow. “And what makes you think I want that?”

Jeremy’s words shriveled up in his mouth. He looked helplessly over at Ryan, but he was staring blankly out into space, his shoulders slumped. Obviously, he was not going to be much help. Jeremy swallowed hard, trying to collect his whirring thoughts. His throat felt thick, and his eyes were dry and stinging.

“I…I just want you to…” he stuttered.

“You have the love of a literal angel, and not even that’s not enough for you.” Gavin huffed out a cruel laugh. “Bit greedy of you, innit?”

Jeremy flushed red. He took a step back, stumbling over his own feet a bit. “That’s not…that’s not what this is about!” His voice caught, and he took a steadying breath. “Gavin, I don’t understand what’s going here; I don’t why you’re so upset. Did…something happen to you?”

“Hmm, nothing much, really,” Gavin hummed. “Just realized how sick I am of being around you, that’s all.”

Jeremy reeled back, stomach churning. The wind wailed louder, biting at his cheeks, leeching his body of any warmth.

“Gav, we’re friends,” he said weakly. “Please, just stop this, okay? I don’t…I don’t know how to fix this.”

Gavin stepped in his space, leaning down to stare straight down at him, his eyes entirely dark.

“You don’t seem to be getting it, so let me say this in a way that even you can’t misunderstand,” he said, voice flat. “All of this time, you never meant anything to me.” He leaned in even closer, so that the black of his eyes completely encompassed Jeremy’s vision. “Your soul was the only thing I ever wanted from you.”

Jeremy’s hands worked their way back into fists, and something hot and stubborn flared in his stomach.

“Then take it.”

The effect of his words was immediate: Gavin snapped up, the cruelty all at once draining from his face. His mouth opened, then closed again.

“What…what did you just say?”

Jeremy stared at him head-on, brow knitted in determination. “I said, take it.”

Ryan shook himself out of whatever funk he had been in. “Jeremy, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying.” Jeremy stepped closer to Gavin, steadily holding his gaze. “If that’s the only thing that you want, if that’s the only thing that’ll make you happy, then you can have it.”

Gavin was trembling slightly, the pinpricks of light in his eyes contracting and widening rapidly. “If you offer me something like that, I can’t…I have to…”

“Gavin, I’m willingly offering you my soul.”

The words fell upon the clearing like a weight. A tense silence stretched between them, punctuated by the whistling wind and the creaking of branches. No one even dared to move as the seconds ticked slowly by.

Then, after an agonizing minute passed by, a cautious smile grew on Ryan’s face.

“You can’t do it, can you?” he said, tone colored with relief. “Because you’re different. Because despite what you are, after all this time, you…”

Gavin’s head snapped up. “Don’t mind if I do, then,” he said. Ryan’s eyes widened in terror. He darted forward, but a pulse of energy sent him careening backwards into the woods. Gavin shoved a hand in Jeremy’s chest, and Jeremy felt himself spilt in two.

He let out a soundless scream as every single one of his nerves was set ablaze, excruciating pain beyond anything he had ever experienced before wracking his body in waves. It was as if his insides were being scraped out by hundreds of knives, from his throat, all the way down to his toes. He couldn’t move, couldn’t hear, couldn’t  _breathe_ , only able to barely hang onto the barest semblance of thought. His entire existence was only pain, and Gavin’s dark eyes staring cruelly down at him.

Then, Gavin released him, and all at once the pain ebbed away. Slowly, Jeremy sunk to his knees in front of him, landing with a thunk in the gathering snow. He tried to form words, but his lips were foreign on his own face, and his throat was woolen thick. Everything was just a little to the left, and he couldn’t quite remember how to blink.

Gavin bent down, gently cupping the side of his face, his thumb absently brushing his cheekbone.

“Such a strange little human,” he said, voice barely a murmur. “Did you really think you could manipulate me like that? That you could trick me into admitting I care about you? It doesn’t work like that.”

Jeremy could only stare dumbly at him. After a short pause, Gavin gracefully straightened, his hand lingering for just the slightest moment.

“I did warn you,” he said, voice dropping lower. “In the end, this is all I can ever be.”

He stepped back, and the gusting snow surrounded him, blurring his form. His silhouette warped and twisted in the howling wind, and the bright pupils in his eyes snuffed out. Then, he took another step back, and the snow swallowed him up completely, leaving not even a shadow behind.

“No!” Ryan shot forward from the brush, arms reaching out to the place where Gavin had stood. But there was nothing except swirling snow, and he spun around frantically, his movements jerky and wild.

“This can’t be,” he said, voice heavy with disbelief. “He couldn’t have, he  _couldn’t_.”

His eyes fell on Jeremy, and his breath caught in his throat. He took a few stuttering steps before collapsing in front of him.

“No, no,” Ryan breathed, eyes rounded out in horror. “Not this. Anything but this.”

Jeremy blinked slowly, his mind static. The snow settled in around his shoulders and legs.

“He took your soul,” Ryan said, stilted and odd. “He took your damn soul and ran away.”

“I’m…fine,” Jeremy finally slurred out. “Just feel a ‘lil weird, that’s all.” His words were strange and rubbery on his tongue, and he wasn’t entirely sure if they were even coming out of his mouth.

Ryan grit his teeth, his hands fisting in the snowy ground. “I shouldn’t have trusted him,” he said. “I knew it, but I still…I thought that maybe he…” He shook his head, his hair falling limply in his eyes. “Fuck!” He shot an arm out, slamming his fist into a nearby tree. It let out a resounding cracking noise.

Jeremy stared at Ryan in amazement. He held out a stiff hand, awkwardly patting him on the shoulder. But Ryan ignored him, continuing to seethe. His breath caught faster and faster, and his eyes were red-rimmed with intensity.

“I’ll right this,” he said, voice cracked. “Even if I have to tear my own wings off and break down the doors to hell itself, I’ll do it. I won’t let this happen. I won’t let him win. I…I…”

“It’s okay.”

Ryan looked up, shocked. Jeremy twitched the edges of his numb mouth into what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“I gave it to him, didn’t I?” he said, continuing to pat Ryan’s shoulder. “He needs it more than I do. I’ll be okay.”

Ryan’s eyebrows drew up, and his face crumpled. “No, I can’t accept this,” he heaved out. “Even if you hate me for it, I can’t just let this go. I  _can’t_.”

“It’s okay,” Jeremy repeated. “My soul never brought you anything but trouble anyway, right? It’s better this way.”

Ryan shook his head slowly. “No, it was never like that, Jeremy. Because it was you, don’t you understand?” He gripped the back of Jeremy’s arms, lips trembling slightly. “It was you.”

Ryan’s shoulders sagged, and his head dropped like a weight.

“I thought I saw something in him,” he said. “I thought we were the same. But I was wrong – there was nothing.  _He’s_  nothing. But I was so blind, and now you…you…” He trailed off, his breathing loud and shattered.

Jeremy’s head tilted. “You’re crying,” he realized, a little bit fascinated.

Ryan looked up, giving him a strange, watery smile. “So are you,” he pointed out.

“I am?” Jeremy reached a hand up to his face. It came back wet. He blinked, surprised. “Oh, that’s pretty dumb.” His head tilted further as he studied his hand, brows furrowing slightly. “I wonder why that is.”

The snow continued to pelt from the sky, blanketing the world around them into a thick silence. Up in the trees, a singular bird spiraled off into the air, letting a caw eerily similar to a wheezing laugh before it disappeared completely.


	12. Send Me An Angel, But Not That One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. To no one’s surprise, nothing went as planned lol. I ended up splitting this chapter in two cause the convo that happens at the end got ridiculously long. But, now that I think about it, I kinda like this chap being separate like this? I feel like it gives it more weight maybe, idk. This was definitely a tough chapter to write, and a little bit different than how I usually do things. I’m not so great when it comes to emotional stuff, but I like to think that by forcing myself to keep writing it, eventually I’ll git gud, maybe ahahah. Hope it’s okay, despite how heavy it is! I will say that the next chapter is the most fun I’ve had writing this fic so far, which is honestly saying a lot, because I always have a lot of fun writing this fic (sans last chapter, which is an outlier and should not be counted lmao).  
> Thank you for sticking around!

“I am _not_ going to sit around here and do nothing.”

“I’m not saying you should do nothing, just that we need to think this out.”

“I’ve done plenty of damn thinking, already. Now is the time for action.”

“And what the hell are you even going to do, then? Throw away the rest of your divinity so you can run into hell and immediately get yourself killed? That’s not a plan.”

“I don’t care, _I don’t care_. I refuse to be a bystander any longer.”

Jeremy sighed, reaching for his remote to turn up the volume. Despite that, he couldn’t quite drown out the incessant noise of the two men arguing furiously in his kitchen. It might’ve been a little funny, had they not done this same exact dance every night for the past week. Always the same arguments, always the same rebuttals, always the same ending. It was getting more than a bit obnoxious at this point. He checked the time on his phone. Considering the way Ryan’s voice was shaking, there was maybe a minute left tops before he went dramatically storming out, as he always did.

“Ryan, I need you to use your damn head for once,” Trevor hissed, slamming his palm against the counter. “Brashness won’t solve anything. And this isn’t even touching on the political side of things – you might unwittingly start a war, for god’s sake.”

Ryan stopped in his frantic pacing to glare at Trevor. “We cannot wait any longer,” he burst out. “Each second we waste here is another second his soul could be lost forever.”

“Ryan, listen,” Trevor said, voice heavy with weariness. “If Gavin took it, he probably used it immediately. The chance that anything of Jeremy’s soul is still salvageable is slim to none. You need to prepare yourself for this inevitability.”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop drastically, tension thickening like ice. Jeremy’s eyebrows raised slightly - this argument was new. He turned around to see that Ryan had gone completely stiff, his eyes glowing an ethereal white. Even though Trevor was a tad taller than him, it seemed as if Ryan was looming over him suddenly, and the lights flickered above him.

“I won’t accept that,” he said coolly. “I will never accept that.”

Trevor’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “But, Ryan…”

“You have a month,” Ryan said, voice eerily flat. “After that, I do things my own way, consequences be damned.”

And then he was gone, slamming the door shut behind him.

Trevor slumped, heaving out a long sigh. He cradled his coffee for a moment, then shuffled about, stuffing his library worth of books into his bag. Groaning loudly, he slunk over to Jeremy and collapsed on the couch next to him, burying his head in his hands.

“He’s completely insufferable,” Trevor bemoaned, voice muffled. “I can understand why he’s acting this way, but would it kill him to have a scrap of maturity in this situation? I can’t take much more of this.”

“And I can’t take much more of you guys arguing over my shows every night,” Jeremy said, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Can’t you duke it out somewhere else for once, and save me the migraine?”

“Oh, god no,” Trevor said, head snapping up, eyes wide with horror. “If this is how he acts with you around, I don’t even want to know how he acts when you’re not around.” He gave a delicate shudder. “Ah, and he used to be so mellow. All that character development, gone forever. So very tragic.”

Jeremy gave him a sideways glance, then pointedly turned up the volume again. But despite that, he still couldn’t quite focus on the television. Trevor was staring intently at him, his head propped up by his hand, and intermittently letting out soft sighs.

“Don’t you have, you know, somewhere else to be?” he said, giving Trevor a significant stare.

“Not particularly,” Trevor said, not breaking eye contact.

Jeremy scrubbed a hand across his face. “Look, Trevor—”

“Jeremy, I’m sorry.”

Jeremy looked up, eyebrows raised. Trevor had shrunk in on himself, hands nervously fiddling with one of his books.

“Sorry?” he echoed.

“I, uh, did some thinking, and I realize that I might’ve said some wrong things to you before,” Trevor continued, voice soft. “Gave you the wrong advice, and whatnot. But even so, I don’t regret giving Gavin a chance. I still truly believe he loved you.”

 “Yeah, well you were wrong,” he said, letting out a small yawn. “Guy didn’t give a shit about me, and he never had.”

“Still, I have to wonder why he did take it. I think Ryan might have gotten certain aspects wrong.” Trevor furrowed his brow, then sighed again. “But I suppose something like that doesn’t matter much, anymore. All that matters is that he did take it, and now you’re like this.”

“Like what?” Jeremy said. “A husk?”

Trevor didn’t respond, but the way his face crumpled was enough of an answer on its own. Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you say,” he said.

Trevor shrunk even more in on himself, eyebrows drawing together. “I think part of me always knew it would end up like this,” he said quietly, as if he were half talking to himself. “You always gave too much of yourself, always too eager to tear yourself apart to make others happy. That’s why I was so glad when you found Ryan, you know? For the first time you had someone that gave to you as much as you did to them.” He clutched a pillow close to his chest, frowning deeply. “But even so, I knew a day would come where you would give too much, where you would have nothing left. I just…didn’t realize that day would come so soon.” His voice cracked at the end, and his eyes went wide. He awkwardly cleared his throat. “Ah, look at me getting all emotional. How embarrassing.”

“Don’t you dare leak snot on my couch,” Jeremy said.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I promised myself I wouldn’t be like this,” Trevor said, pulling out a handkerchief. He blew his nose loudly.

“Uh-huh.” Jeremy turned his attention back to the tv.

“I’ll be honest, Jeremy,” Trevor said, voice heavy and slow. “There’s no way to get your soul back. I’ve been trying to hold Ryan off best I can, but he’s getting impatient, and it’s only a matter time before he realizes the truth, or perhaps, acknowledges what he already knows.” Trevor fixed him with a red-eyed stare. “I don’t suppose you could talk to him, maybe? Calm him down a tad? If not, I only fear the worst for him.”

“I don’t care what he does,” Jeremy said, shoving more popcorn into his mouth.

“I see,” Trevor said, deflating.

Jeremy twitched as Trevor gazed pityingly at him. “Listen, it’s really starting to get on my nerves how you guys are going on about all of this. I’m perfectly fine, okay?”

“But you’re not,” Trevor said, shaking his head. “You have to understand, your soul is _you_ , in the most pure form. Your dreams, your ambitions, your passion and emotion. Every decision and memory you created to form what makes you what you are. With it gone, you…”

“Are nothing, huh?” Jeremy finished. He pressed his lips into a thin line. “Trevor, no offense, but I’m trying to watch my damn show.”

Trevor flinched back, eyes widening. Then, he ducked his head, quirking a self-deprecating smile. “I understand. I’m being pretty annoying, aren’t I? I’ll leave you be.” He stood, quickly collecting his things. For a short second, he hesitated at the door, biting at his lip. “Take care of yourself, alright?” he said, and the door clicked close behind him.

Jeremy hefted out a small, relieved sigh. He refocused his attention on the television, but he couldn’t quite get the flashing colors and shapes to arrange themselves in a picture that made sense. The noise was grating and loud against his mind, and sounded like nothing but incomprehensible gibberish. After a while, he gave up on the endeavor, flicking the television off. Blessed silence flooded his apartment.

He stayed like that for the rest of the night: staring blankly out into space, his mind nothing but static. When it was an appropriate time to go to sleep, he stood up, brushed his teeth, and went to bed.

He was fine.

 

* * *

 

Life went on as it normally did.

The days melded together – molasses thick and hazy like a mirage. Each one was exactly the same as before. He woke up, went to work, went to bed. Even his dreams were the same: with him watching snow fall against a black void, like static on a television screen. Morning after morning, he would wake with the lingering feeling that he had to find _something_ , but it would always fade back into the fog by the time he threw his sheets off.

Everything was exactly the same as it always was – he was exactly the same. So he didn’t understand why everyone around him was acting like he was something different, like there was something wrong with him. He could feel their whispered concerns and questioning stares like an icy weight against his back.

“How’s everything going?” Lindsay said one morning before work, her cheerful, carefree tone contradicted by the way she was anxiously playing with her hair. “You haven’t gotten into any trouble or anything like that, right?”

He was fine.

“Hey, man, we haven’t talked much these days, have we?” Matt said, flagging him down late one night. “But, uh, you know you can talk to me, if anything is happening. I’m here for you, alright?”

He was fine.

“What the fuck is up with you lately?” Michael said, coming by his apartment to shove a box of donuts in his face. “I’m only here ‘cause you’re upsetting Lindsay. But, you know, if you wanna get some drinks or whatever, I guess I could make some time for you.”

He was fine.

But Ryan was the absolute worst. When he wasn’t arguing with Trevor, he would find any and all excuse to be around Jeremy. But he wouldn’t talk or do anything, but instead just kind of hover like a freak in the background. He would pace back and forth, hands wringing nervously, sending Jeremy the most obnoxious kicked-puppy looks. Every once in a while, he would open his mouth as if to say something, but would shake his head and return back to his anxious hovering.

Jeremy couldn’t stand it.

“You know, if it’s so painful to be around me, then why even are you?” he said, after about a few weeks of that hell.

Ryan flinched back as if he had been slapped, face draining of color.

“I just…it’s not…” he stuttered.

“Look, you don’t have to feel obligated to stay near me,” Jeremy said, tapping an irritated staccato on the couch armrest. “You’re free, now. Go live your best angel life.”

Ryan was trembling slightly, his blood-shot eyes rimmed with shadows, his hair an unruly mess. “I could never--”

“There’s nothing left to protect, right?” Jeremy continued. “I’m nothing.”

Ryan stayed quiet, and after a while Jeremy huffed out a short laugh.

“Can’t even say anything to that, huh?” he said. “You know what? Get the fuck out, Ryan. You’re really pissing me off, and I’m sick of you being around.”

_I’m sick of you looking at me like that._

Like a puppet with its strings cut, Ryan slumped. “If that’s…what you want,” he said quietly. Without even looking back, he left out into the night.

Jeremy expected to feel better, or worse even, but he didn’t feel much of anything, really. He turned the television back on.

He would’ve been perfectly content to never see Ryan again, but of course life couldn’t be that easy. It wasn’t even a week later where Lindsay invited him to some sort of friends-giving type of party. Obviously, he had no intentions to show up, but Michael had practically forcibly dragged him there at gunpoint and all but strapped him to the chair.

“All you do these days is work and stare out into space,” Michael grumbled as he piled excessive amounts of food onto Jeremy’s plate. “What are you, a zombie? It’s fucking creepy.”

Most of their friend group had shown up to the Jones’ house with the promise of free food. The living room was boisterous and crowded as everyone bustled around, gathering food and laughing and arguing with each other. And Ryan was there, looking as if it weren’t for Meg hanging off his arm, he would’ve liquefied right into the floor. Jeremy just ignored him as best he could, picking absently at his food, and waiting for Michael’s hawk-like stare to leave his face so he could dart for the door.

Everything was too hot and loud around him. He felt strange and floaty, like he was watching everything from a distance. People were talking to him, maybe, but their voices blurred into the background, and he couldn’t quite get himself to focus on them. He just gave half-baked nods and grunts every once in a while, and eventually, they would all leave him alone.

Everyone, except for Lindsay. She was even more persistent and unflappable than usual, her voice and smile just jarring enough that he couldn’t quite ignore it.

“So, Jeremy,” she said, grinning too bright, too big, as she leaned into him. “How’s your cat doing, by the way? I’d love to come over and see them again.”

Across the table, Ryan went rigid, his fork dropping with a metallic clang on his plate.

“Oh, him?” Jeremy said, idly pushing around a pea with his knife. “He ran away.”

“What?” Lindsay sat up, her eyes wide. “Oh, no! When did that happen? _How_ did that happen? We have to do something, oh my god.”

“Lindsay, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay,” Lindsay cried. “We need to put up posters, or make some calls, or do something. Oh god, poor baby Pip.”

“Lindsay.” Jeremy put a hand on her shoulder. “I said it’s okay.”

“How could you say that?” Lindsay exclaimed, throwing his hand off. “Nothing about this is okay. What if they’re lost, or hurt, or suffering—”

“Lindsay, that’s enough.”

“It’s so cold out lately, too! What if he’s cold?”

“I said, stop--”

“And what if he misses you?” Lindsay continued, eyes shining. “I bet he misses you very much, Jeremy.”

Jeremy slammed his hands on the table. “Lindsay, can you just shut the fuck up?”

The room went silent, everyone turning to look at him. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t said shit like that to each other before, especially considering Michael, but he immediately knew he had crossed a line. His voice had been too loud, and the words too biting and honest. Lindsay’s eyes were wide with concern, and Michael looked down-right murderous. But all he could see was Ryan, his eyebrows pulled together painfully, and his mouth pinched tight with what could only be disgust. Everyone was whispering around him, and the lights were blurring together, and he couldn’t remember how to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Lindsay…I gotta…go,” he choked out, and darted for the door.

Someone called after him – Jack, maybe – but he got in his car and drove off before they could reach him. He didn’t remember any of the drive: one moment he was in Michael’s driveway, and the next he was home, stumbling outside his apartment complex. His hands were shaking wildly, and his keys jittered out of his grasp, flinging out somewhere into the dark bushes.

For a long moment, he just stared blankly at the ground, his chest too tight and his throat too dry.

“Of fucking course,” he croaked out.

Hefting out a sigh, he dropped to his knees, and peered into the brush. Immediately, his gaze met two bright, feline eyes, watching him carefully in the darkness.

His heart jumped to his throat.

“Gav?” he said, the name coarse and strange in his mouth. He crept forward, something bubbling up in his chest. “Is that you? You came back, you actually--” All at once, he stilled, his frantic energy draining away.

It wasn’t Gavin. It was just a regular cat – a tabby, its dark fur streaked with grey, and a squashed face, wearing the most unimpressed look he had ever seen a cat wear. It blinked at him, slow and blasé.

Jeremy sat back.

“Of course it isn’t him, what the hell am I even thinking?” He let out a barking laugh. “Why would he even come back? I’m so stupid, so fucking stupid.” His laughter caught painfully in his chest, and he buried his face in his hands. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until sparks of color burst in his vision, then pressed harder still, until they were replaced with shifting, white static.

There was a soft nudge on his leg, and he slowly looked down. Sitting next to him was the tabby, regarding him with dull blue eyes. It flicked its tail around his keys, glinting on the ground.

“Oh, thank you,” Jeremy said. Then, he blinked in confusion. Why had he thanked the cat? It wasn’t as if it had brought the keys to him – he had probably just missed them there before. Sighing to himself, he scooped the keys up and dragged himself to his feet. The cat sat up as well, stretching languidly. It padded forward in front of him, coming to a stop on his doorstep. It turned back to give him an expectant look.

“Do you, uh, wanna come in?” Jeremy said, scratching his head in bemusement. He unlocked and opened his door, and the cat swanned its way in, making a beeline for his couch.

“Uh, make yourself at home, I guess?” Jeremy said. “I hope you don’t have fleas, or anything like that.”

Perched up on his couch, the cat gave him baleful, almost offended look.

“Sorry. Can’t be too sure, ya know? Do you…want something to eat?” He tilted his head at the cat, and it tilted its head back, before turning back to stare pointedly at the television. Jeremy bit his lip and bolted for the refrigerator, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Did he even have food? With a shock, he realized he couldn’t even remember the last time he had even thought about something like that. He ripped the door of his fridge open. It was painstakingly bare: only housing random bottles of condiments and scattered energy drinks and beer. There was also a stack of food containers – little lunchboxes that had been suspiciously left on his doorstep around the same time every day. He cracked one open, and it contained a rather fancy looking roast beef meal. Straightening triumphantly, he popped it into the microwave for a few minutes before bringing it back over to the cat.

“Here you go,” he said, brandishing it eagerly. “I don’t have, like, actual cat food, but this is much better, right?”

The cat’s eyes flicked down to stare blandly at the food, then back up at Jeremy again. It pointedly turned away, staring back at the television.

“Oh, not hungry, huh?” Jeremy said, more than a bit disappointed. He sat down with a huff on the couch, idly scooping some of the beef in his mouth. His eyes went wide – it was absolutely fucking delicious, and his stomach rumbled loudly in response. When was the last time he had even eaten? He was sure he must have, but he suddenly couldn’t even recall. Shrugging to himself, he eagerly dug in, demolishing the plate in under a minute. But the cat continued to stare at the television, and Jeremy scratched his head thoughtfully.

“You wanna…watch something?” he said. He flicked the tv on, changing to some sort of mind-numbing reality show. The cat stood up and whacked at his jeans. Jeremy blinked, and then changed the channel to a basketball game. The cat settled back, pleased.

Jeremy snorted softly. “Weird cat,” he murmured. “You, uh, got a family looking for you? You have a h—” He cut himself off, clearing his throat. “I mean, you have a place you stay at? Or are you just a stray?”

The cat didn’t even turn to look at him, still attentively watching the tv. Jeremy winced. Was he expecting them to answer? He really was an idiot.

After dragging himself up to grab a few beers, he settled in the couch as well, the tension slowly leeching out of his bones. As he sat next to the cat, nursing his drink, he felt something loosen in his chest. The shifting, chaotic colors of the television finally formed together to create a picture that made sense, and the garbled noise sorted itself into sentences.

“If you don’t have anywhere else to go, you can always stay here,” he said after a while. The alcohol had smoothed out the snagging edges in his mind, and he felt warm and heavy as he all but sagged into the couch. The cat turned to look at him, something far too knowing in its dulled eyes.

Jeremy cradled the beer closer to his chest. “I guess…I’ve been kinda lonely lately. Lame, right?” He coughed out a self-deprecating laugh. “I mean, I’m the one pushing everyone away. I just can’t stand the way they all look at me, you know? Like there’s something wrong with me. But there isn’t – I’m perfectly fine.”

The cat continued to stare at him, and Jeremy shifted a bit, hefting out a small sigh.

“At least, I don’t think there is,” he amended quietly. “Honestly, I can’t even really remember how it was I used to be. All of my memories are kind of weird and hazy, like they don’t even really belong to me. Like someone else stuffed them in my head, and I’m just kinda holding them there for them. Does that…make sense?”

He wasn’t sure if it was just his fevered, desperate mind imagining things how he wanted to see them, but the cat seemed to incline its head a little bit, in something akin to a nod.

“Can I…tell you a secret? Something I haven’t told anyone else before?” Jeremy said, leaning in. The cat leaned in as well. “These past few years, I’ve actually been saving up a bit of cash here and there so I could go back to school, maybe learn a thing or two about art. For some reason, I was super fucking excited about it. Gave me something to look forward to through my shithole job, I guess.” He slugged down the rest of his beer, grimacing. “Dumb, right? I mean, it’s not like I would’ve actually gone through with it, or anything. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone, not even Matt. I just…can’t remember why that shit was so important to me. I used to want so much, you know? I wanted to draw and write and see the world, but now I just…now I’m just kinda tired.” He trailed off, huffing out a short breath. “What a fucking joke.”

He could feel the cat’s eyes on him as he dragged himself up again, this time bringing back a whiskey bottle. Slumping back down on the couch, he cracked the bottle open and slipped down a couple shots. The burn in his gut was a comforting warmth.

“I guess there has to be something really wrong with me, huh,” Jeremy continued, ducking his head with a smile. “Why else would Ryan look at me like that, like I’m a lost cause, or that there’s nothing inside of me, or something?” The cat stiffened slightly, its tail going erect at attention. “I just don’t get it. If I am completely empty, then why the hell do I still feel so shitty all the time? Nothing makes sense anymore. I’m just so fucking confused, and lost, and I’m talking to a fucking cat.” He heaved out a hysterical laugh, running his hands over his head. “What the fuck is even going on anymore?”

The cat edged closer to him, pressing its slight body against his leg, its tail intermittently whacking his back. Jeremy pulled his head up, giving them a thoughtful look.

“Cats…they don’t have souls, do they?” he said. “But people still love them. Even if…they’ll never feel the same, we still do, right? We just can’t help ourselves, I guess.” He cracked a strange smile. “It’s pretty pathetic.”

Suddenly, the cat stood up on haunches and whapped Jeremy clean on the nose with its paw. Jeremy gaped at them, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. The cat was all but glaring at him, a rather reprimanding look on its face. Jeremy reeled back and coughed out a laugh, clutching at his sides.

“Oh my god,” he wheezed. “You’re kind of a little shithead, aren’t you? Sorry, I won’t say stuff like that again.”

He continued to laugh for a while, curling in on himself. The cat just watched him, its eyes squinted up into pleased little crescents.

God, when was the last time he had even genuinely laughed like this? It caught strangely in his chest, and kind of made him want to puke, but it wasn’t a bad feeling in the slightest.

The rest of night passed peacefully, Jeremy feeling lighter than he had in weeks. They sat together, watching tv, Jeremy chugging down a few more beers and more than a few shots of whiskey. Every once and a while, he would comment on something to the cat, and even though it never responded, it didn’t really feel like he was talking to himself.

Eventually, sleep started to wash over him, blurring his surroundings, and he didn’t quite have the strength to move. As his eyes started to slit close, he noticed the cat get up, and fear jumped in his chest.

“Please don’t leave,” he slurred out. “I know…I don’t have anything to give you, but I’ll try my best, okay? I’ll make sure you’re happy, I promise.”

The cat’s glassy eyes reflected the dancing lights of the tv, and as Jeremy’s vision tilted and spun with the alcohol, they seemed to split into three sets, all watching him carefully.

“But you have to promise me too,” Jeremy continued, struggling to stay conscious. “That if you’re not happy, that if you’re hurting, you’ll let me know. I’m dumb, and stupid, and I can’t tell these things, not until it’s too late. But if you tell me, I promise I’ll listen this time.”

His vision started to blur further, twisting and warping around him, and he couldn’t quite keep his eyes open anymore.

“This time…I promise, I…” he trailed off, and sleep pulled him under.

In his dreams, snow was pelting from the dark sky, gathering thickly around him, all the way up to his thighs. Surrounding him on all sides was domed, warped glass, stretching up as far as he could see. In front of him, a faint blue light flickered through the haze of white. Jeremy stumbled towards it, his heart in his throat. All he knew was that he had to reach it, he _had_ to. But the snow was thick, and he was tired, and was all but impossible to move forward.

As he took another step towards it, the world shifted violently around him, sending him sprawling. Snow flooded in, snuffing out all light. He tried to move, but it was packed too tightly around him, freezing cold and leeching his body of any warmth. But he continued to struggle, flailing his limbs around wildly, and eventually his hand met glass. Heart thudding in relief, he scraped snow out of his way, and looked out.

Beyond the glass, his gaze met two dark, familiar eyes, impossibly large. They peered down at him, like he was a bug under a magnifying glass.

“How stupid can you be?” a voice echoed around him. Though the words were frigid with cruelty, something about how the eyes looked made Jeremy pause. They were completely broken – choked with pain and dismay. Black sludge was dribbling from them, like a mockery of tears.

Jeremy cried out, pounding his hands against the glass, but his voice made no traction, and the eyes were turning away. He screamed louder, tightening his hands into fists, but the glass didn’t even give a tremble. Gritting his teeth in aggravation, he readied every bit of strength he could muster, and slammed his entire body against it. With a reverberating shattering noise, the world broke around him. Suddenly, he was hurtling through the air, the snow whistling painfully around him. He opened his mouth to scream, but the wind robbed him of his voice.

Thousands of dark hands curled around his body, and the freezing void tugged him under.

Jeremy woke with a start, heart stuttering wildly. Sitting up, he clutched at his chest, trying to reassemble his thoughts. He had somehow ended up in his bed, the comforter tucked securely around him.

What the hell had even happened last night? His head throbbed painfully, and his throat was dry and cracked. Throwing the covers off, he stumbled out of bed. There was a glass of cool water and a couple of pills of on his nightstand, and he gratefully slugged it all down. Then, his brow furrowed. That was weird – drunk Jeremy was rarely this considerate.

Like a slap to the face, all the memories from last night came flooding back. He shot up, stumbling out the bedroom door.

“Hey! Where are you?” he called out. Nothing but the ticking of his clock answered him. He frantically darted around his apartment, upturning cushions and ducking to look under chairs. But he still didn’t find a thing.

After a while, the fanatic energy drained out of him. He slowed, the haze settling back into his bones, the static back into his thoughts. The cracks in his window shutters painted orange shadows against the drab walls, and the clock ticked steadily on.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said softly.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day passed more quietly than the others. For the first time, none of Jeremy’s friends felt the need to bother him, and he was left completely alone. It seemed like everyone had finally taken the hint. He supposed he should have felt relieved, but all he felt was static, thicker than usual, buzzing around in his mind, and pressing against the back of his eyelids.

As he walked up to his apartment, he noticed a dark shape on his doorstep. It was slumped over, head in hands and completely unmoving. The lamplights above cast strips of sickly orange light across them.

Jeremy bit his lip, and slowly drew out his phone. The figure jolted up suddenly, and Jeremy froze. It was Ryan, looking even more haggard than usual somehow – tousled, messy hair, skin pale and drawn, and red-rimmed eyes. His thin shirt was completely inappropriate for the near-freezing weather, and Jeremy could see that he was shaking slightly.

“Jeremy,” he stuttered out, voice hoarse with disuse. “You’re back.”

Jeremy looked away, flipping his keys around in his grasp. “Ryan? What are you doing? This is kinda creepy, not gonna lie.”

Ryan stiffened. He stumbled out of his way, hands held up in surrender. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry; I didn’t even think about that. I just…needed to speak to you in person.”

“Huh,” Jeremy said blankly. He shouldered past him, and pushed his keys into the lock. “I think you forgot the part where I said I didn’t want to see you.”

“No, I didn’t forget that,” Ryan said gently. “I promise I won’t take up much of your time. This is…important to me. After this, I’ll never speak to you again, if that’s what you want. But if you want me to leave, then I will.”

For some reason, Jeremy’s hand hesitated on the doorknob. He turned back to look at Ryan. He really looked like a wreck – Jeremy had never seen him look anywhere near this shitty, in all the years he knew him. At least, as much as he could remember. He tried to recall how Ryan looked before – warm and smiling and framed by the fiery colors of a setting sun, but his fog-heavy mind refused to supply a picture.

“How long…were you waiting here?” Jeremy asked.

“How long?” Ryan’s teeth were chattering slightly. “I, ah, don’t really know. What time is it now?”

“Past midnight.”

“Oh. Then quite a while, I guess.” He laughed awkwardly, still trembling.

Jeremy’s hand tightened on the doorknob, but he still couldn’t get himself to turn it. He pressed his lips into a thin line, cursing his entire weak-willed existence.

“Fine,” he conceded. “You have five minutes. But only because you’re making a scene in front of my neighbors.”

Ryan’s face crumpled in relief. “Thank you. That’s all I need.”

He quickly ushered Ryan in, slamming the door shut behind him. Ryan looked as if he were about to start up his anxious pacing again, so Jeremy shoved him down on his couch, tucking a blanket around him to keep him still. Then, he started his Keurig up. When Ryan finally had a cup of tea in his hands, some of the color returning to his face, Jeremy felt the strange knot in his stomach loosen a bit.

For a while, Ryan just stared out into space, cradling his tea, the steam curling around him. Then, he sighed, fixing Jeremy with a steady look.

“Jeremy, I’m leaving,” he said. “I’m going to get your soul back.”

Jeremy froze in the kitchen, his hands tightening around his own mug.

“I told you not to bother with that,” he said.

Ryan cracked a bittersweet smile. “I know. I’ll be honest, I think part of me was glad Trevor kept giving excuses for me not to go. I made you a promise, right? But I’ve held it off long enough, now.” He put his mug down and shrugged the blanket off, standing gracefully. “But because I made you that promise, I want to ask you this: do you want to come with me, together?”

Jeremy’s grip on his mug was so tight that it was a wonder it didn’t shatter to pieces.

“Are you joking?” he said. “Of course I’m not going. I don’t care what you do.”

Ryan chuckled softly, ducking his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say. I suppose that promise was made under different circumstances.”

“Was that all you wanted to say?”

“No, not quite,” Ryan said. “I also wanted to tell you that I still love you – something like that hasn’t changed in the slightest. You could never be nothing to me. Me wanting to find your soul is important to me because I know it’s important to you. Seeing you like this – completely lost, isolating yourself, pushing those you love away – I can’t stand it. I have to fix it. I _will_ fix it. You understand this, right?”

“Sure. Didn’t ask for it, but thanks, I guess.”

Ryan’s eyes glazed over as he idly drew circles on the kitchen countertop. “Those words – I should’ve said them earlier, shouldn’t I have?” he mused quietly. “But I was always so afraid. Silly, isn’t it? Something like me, afraid of something so simple as love. I think part of me always knew you deserved better – a life of normalcy and stability, things I could never give you.”

“Are you done, yet?” Jeremy interrupted.

“Almost,” Ryan said, running a hand through his hair. “I, uh, also wanted to thank you. These years I’ve spent with you and everyone else have been the most fun I ever had in my existence. I had been so determined to wander alone, endlessly searching for a redemption that I knew didn’t exist. But then I met you, and all of that changed.” Ryan looked up at Jeremy with soft, almost wondering eyes. “That’s the thing about you, isn’t it? You catch people up in your own pace, and without even knowing it, make them feel like they belong, like they’re worth something. Whenever I’m around you, one way or another, I always forget about what it is I should be doing. It’s incredible, really – you’re incredible.” Eyebrows drawing together, he plucked a peach from Jeremy’s fruit basket and eyed it thoughtfully. It had long since rotted through, and its skin was mottled and bruised. “Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder if he…if maybe he felt…” He cut himself off, expression darkening as he tossed the fruit into the trash. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Jeremy stared down at his mug, and his warped reflection stared dully back up at him. _In_ _credible, huh,_ he thought. He jammed his spoon into his mug and stirred vigorously.

“Why are you talking like this?” he asked.

“Why?” Ryan laughed softly. “Well, I only have five minutes, right? Might as well say everything that’s on my mind, everything that I was too afraid to say before. I have more to say as well, about my p—”

“Well, your five minutes are up.”

“Oh.” Ryan blinked in shock. “Ah, you’re right. Sorry, I won’t say anything more. Just know that I promise I’ll fix this – that I won’t come back until I have.” He pushed away from the counter, stepping closer to Jeremy. For a long moment, he just stood in front of him, biting his lip awkwardly, hands threading together. “I, uh, guess this is it, isn’t it? Well then, goodbye.”

Ryan took a step back and immediately froze in place. He slowly turned back to look at him, his eyes wide.

“Jeremy, you…?” he said.

Jeremy looked down, and realized that he had somehow unconsciously latched onto Ryan’s jacket, locking him where he stood.

“Oh,” he said. “I don’t…know why I did that. Must’ve been a muscle spasm or something, I guess. I’ll let go.”

But his hand didn’t respond, fisting tighter in the jacket.

Something minute shifted in Ryan’s expression. He reached forward, carefully untangling Jeremy’s hand from his jacket. Then, he gently placed it back at Jeremy’s side.

“Goodbye,” he said again, firmer this time.

Jeremy could only watch dumbly as Ryan turned to the door. His entire body was twitching slightly, like it wanted him to do something, but he had no idea what that was. The lights of his room blurred together, and white static crackled in his vision.

Ryan pulled the door open, and stumbled back in surprise.

Standing at the doorway, his hand held up as if to knock and wearing a rather loud Christmas sweater, was Jack. He blinked at Ryan, then broke out into a wide grin.

“Oh, heya Ryan!” he exclaimed cheerily. “This is a fun coincidence. I hope you two weren’t up to anything that’d put you on the naughty list.” He gave an exaggerated wink.

“Jack?” Ryan shook away his surprise. “I was just leaving, actually.” He made a move to leave, but Jack shuffled in his way, blocking him.

“This is perfect, actually,” Jack said. “We needed to speak to the both of you, and it’ll be easier together.”

“We?” Ryan echoed.

“Yeah,” Jack said, smile turning sheepish. “I brought a…friend. Hope that’s okay with you, Jeremy.” He stepped to the side a bit, revealing a person standing behind him, arms crossed and hidden in the shadows.

“Um, yeah, that’s fine, I guess,” Jeremy said blankly. “You do realize how late it is, right?”

Jack laughed. “I’m pretty aware; we had to wait ‘til you got off of work. That’s why I brought tacos.” He lifted a greasy bag proudly. “So, uh, can we come in? We just wanna talk, that’s all.”

“Yeah, come on in.” Jeremy shrugged.

Jack flashed a grateful smile and strode in, yanking in the person behind him. It was an older man: about the same height as him, with a messy shock of black hair, and creased, tired eyes. His face was twisted up into a rather childish pout.

“Of course he’s fucking here,” the man grumbled. “Has nothing better to do with his life than be a fucking nuisance to everyone.”

Ryan cleared his throat awkwardly. “Do you guys…want tea?”

“Coffee’s fine,” Jack said. “It’s gonna be a long night, trust me.” He shrugged off his coat, then turned to pull off the other man’s jacket as well. Jeremy’s eyebrows raised. The man had an impressive sleeve of tattoos lining both of his arms. At first glance, he could see the outline of flames, a grinning imp with a pitchfork, and a guy sawing on a fiddle. The man turned, meeting his searching gaze, and Jeremy jumped. His hooded eyes were surprisingly intense, and he couldn’t quite look away.

The man stepped closer to him, his expression visibly softening, his pout giving way to a small, unsure smile.

“Hey, Jeremy,” he said gently. “It’s good to see you again, for real this time.”

Jeremy blinked up at him in confusion.

“Have we…met before?” he said, tilting his head. Those eyes stared down at him; tired yet awake, dulled yet bright, young yet unfathomably ancient. There was something familiar about them as well, he decided, though he couldn’t entirely place why he knew that.

The man huffed out a small, almost sad laugh. “Not in any way that matters,” he said. “So, uh, we should start over, then.”

He held out a hand, and all at once his appearance changed: his skin reddening, two straight horns poking out of his hair, and a dark tail whipping out of his back. The tattoos on his arms writhed and twisted, untangling to reform into hundreds of runes spiraling up and disappearing into his shirt sleeve. His eyes flooded with black, and two bright blue pupils bloomed in the middle of them, settling on Jeremy.

“My name is Geoff,” he said, lips quirking up into a crooked grin. “And I’m here to save the day, I guess.”


End file.
